Player Comments on Project Lovecraft

I can see what the author was trying to do here but the descriptions were too matter-of-fact to really draw the read in (you are this, this happens to you), the reader needs to experience things rather that be told they are happening (show rather than tell). I think the writing did improve towards the end of the story and the ending was particularly strong. I was a hit puzzled why some of the links had apostrophes (and those the ones we were supposed to click on?) but there was an ok amount of branching here, though as Malk says readers prefer having end game links rather than having to continually start the stories again from the beginning. Not a bad effort here considering Lovecraftian stories are pretty difficult to write.

oh, the horror!
It's the genre where there are no happy endings, at least not that I could find. Fair enough.

Not bad.

One thing really jumped out at me. The beginning mentioned being a WW2 officer. However, when you time-travel you mention the year you left was 1919. That's 1 year after WW1 ended and WW2 doesn't kick off until 1939.

Like I said, overall not bad. It would have been nice to see more creative touches with the other paths besides being railroaded into the same choices (you can loop prying your leg free).

Satisfactory enough. I changed it to Fan-Fiction as it relies wholly or in part on existing works that are not the author's.

For future reference, it's considered pretty bad form to not include an End Game link after every ending. People really dislike having to click back through the whole story to be able to rate and comment.

I haven't read the short story myself so some of the differences between asterisked and non-asterisked paths were lost on me. Nevertheless, the story is not bad.

Solid branching, SPAG, and writing, and reads like a pretty standard CYOA. Not too shabby.