Now that the Contest's over, I figured I'd quickly step back into the shoes that all the rest of you miserably failed to fill and hire Sir Patrick Stewart to replace Will Shatner in all future adventures. So here's the deal, there's gonna be a prize of some mediocre variety at the end of this if you put in the best thing, and if you say you'll contribute but don't put in anything at all, there'll be SHAME and suffering because you can't even write maybe 800 words when you yourself said you were gonna do that.
1. Make up a sport. It can take place in any universe, fantasy, sci fi, or other, as long as you can write an entertaining sports story about a sport that doesn't exist because you made it up. If this sport is at all important in this world, perhaps place it during "The Big Game" or during "The ____Bowl" or something for maximum fanfare and a look at the culture surrounding this sport.
2. An adventurer has, for whatever reason, befriended an incredibly dangerous creature. This can be anything from a Grizzly Bear to a Lava Dragon, as long as it's not the kind of thing in this universe that one would consider a safe pet. Exactly how does it act and how the hell are they supposed to take care of it and keep it from wrecking shit throughout their adventure while still maintaining a friendly relationship with it?
3. Whether it's a lich lord, or a giant mutant octopus, or a Demon-slaughtering badass, or whatever, someone very unexpected is trying to host and/or join an alcoholics support circle and/or an Improv Comedy class. Whether this takes place in a world where Lich Lords, giant mutant octopi, etc. are a semi-normal thing is entirely optional.
Here's a tagging list SHAMELESSLY STOLEN from our previous Provider of Weekly Entertainment:
@WouldntItBeNice @JJJ-thebanisher @bbshark @Bucky @mizal @FrankIevatus @TheNewIAP @Romulus @TacocaT @Crescentstar @Mayana @Zulutrader @MasonJarGuzzi @Ogre11 @malkalack @Charaxes @eshspoyeofdoom @RoyalGhost_007 @StillWatersRunDeep @temporaryaccount @ISentinelPenguinI @Drew8521 @Orange @LickReborn @ZagHero @Bannerlord @Taylor_Boulet @Madhattersdaughter @MrMustachio @firegrill @WizzyCat @Pleb @Saika @Iavatus @Minnieking @Claw2k11 @Nyctophilia @mattc NOT @Saint_666 because that guy hates lists.
I have a question:
Does it have to be an alcoholic support group? Or can it be a different kind of support group?
Really, the theme is any self-improvement circle where usually average joes share their stories and their feels.
And I'm guessing it can't be an extremely specific group? Like in the beginning of Wreck It Ralph?
Hm, y'know what, sure.
So, short story contest with 800 word minimum?
There isn't really a minimum, 800 words is just probably the average for this kind of things.
I'll enter. Is there a deadline?
Yeah, the end of the week. And then there'll be another one. That's how weekly writing exercises happen.
It's Saint_999 not Saint_666 but thnx for the consideration :D
It might be the joke...r
oh... what a pun.
Actually at first the r at the end was by accident, then I remembered you were the guy who did the Joker Compendium so I just kept it.
haha. Nice :)
I am going to put presure on myself and enter. When dose it end sunday or monday?
Good idea. I think I'll end it on one of those days.
I assumed a week meant 7 days, so Friday.
I'm going to roll a D4 at the beginning of every week to determine which definition of 'end of the week' I'm going to cut this off at. It is not yours to reason why, it is your job to write! Write for my amusement!
If I knew that i wouldn't have entered! Guess It's too late now!
Don't worry, under all definitions, there's always gonna be at least several days ahead.
Oh No! Entered but my mind is blank. Must avoid SHAME some how.
Would a wild,untamed,grown up wolf be ok for number 2
Part of me wants to say that's not exotic enough. I mean, it technically works, but, y'know, wolves are fairly shitty animals on their own. Anyone of sufficient honey-badger courage and medical attention in the next 5 hours could kick the shit out of just one plain old wolf and be fine. Something like Bears or Dragons don't offer that kind of guarantee, which means more risk for the animal's friend if they fuck up.
Well that's hardly a fucking forest doggo now is it, Ford?
Crap. SHAME me in advance.
That is the best news I have heard all day.
Note: Just because you won't have official Shame doesn't mean it won't be personal shame.
Ill go for it, I think I'll be doing number 1 or 2
I take issue with that, sir. Is it a ripoff? Sure! But by dammit, it's better than any of the other ones they came up with!
He's laughing because Plelb is still @-ed as Pleb, not because of your post.
Bone-crushing was a friendly competition and necessary for feeding the troops in ogre war camps during the 50 years war. Much of the corpse of the humans who died to the cruel game were used as food. The game proceeded as so: two humans (one to an ogre) who had been captured in battle were brought into the barracks and tossed onto a table. Each ogre would take turns breaking each bone, starting with the toes and ending at the skull. A judge would rule the winner based off of three criterias, loudness of the cracking, upon which bone the human stopped breathing at and amount of damage. The scraps and bones of the humans would be used as food, mixed into a patty of horsemeat; grass and dirt; and whatever else they could find. Normally it was a one pound patty, one to a soldier in the camps, but the victor of the nightly game would have the privilege of two patties.
After winning the war, the friendly game in the camps evolved to a bar game, normally two ogres would bring in humans of their own or use ones that the bar had found on their own. It was the same premise as that of the games in the camps, but the victor normally won a free drink on top of their meal. Soon enough the sport was renowned across the land. Thousands took a seat in the coliseums of the new empire, watching two ogres break the spines of the last men on the planet. The crowds would fall silent as the ogres masterfully worked, listening to the screams and excruciating snaps of bone. While some techniques had been devised as to how to break a bone, the most widely known technique was the stretch and snap. On a bone like the spine, the bone was stretched to where the spinal cord could be seen between each vertebral column, and then snapped. This allowed for there to be less resistance, but when done inadequately a softer sound is made. As the number of humans dwindled, ogres moved on to other peoples like elves or dwarves. Of course ogres still thirsted to hear the bloodcurdling screams of humans.
As the scale of the games was so immaculate and done so often due to the fact it was so easy to set up and so beloved, but led to the eventual fall of the kingdom. Lots of the labor of the kingdom was dependent on slaves, as many of them were artisans who could produce the things that ogres could not like pottery, metal works, and fine art. Due to the demand for humans and elves and dwarfs in the sport of bone-crushing the number of slaves was depleted overtime, leading to the decline of trade which crippled the kingdom further. The ogre kingdom was stuck in a time of the past, while the rest of the world was able to fly into a new era of weaponry powered by trade and a booming economy. The kingdom was waiting to be pushed over, and continued to shoot itself in the foot by ignoring its problems and continuing the sport. When war rolled around the kingdom fell in a matter of months, losing to superior technology and lack of supplies.
Sounds like a plan for next time.