Well with all the sissy slap fights, triggerings and pussy petting going on in multiple threads, it’s obvious that some of you need something else to do (besides those things of course, far be it from me to take away such freedoms!)
So here’s an unofficial contest for everyone if they’re interested.
It’ll be like the Edgelord contest in that you don’t have to bet any points, I’ll just decide which person won and give you a bunch of points accordingly and maybe some “achievements” will get passed out as well if I’m feeling generous. Who knows, if it’s really good maybe more warm and fuzzies will come your way.
You WILL have to write an actual story though. Not just post something in the forums like last time.
Anyway, the topic will be the theme that didn’t get picked for last contest idea.
I don’t care what style you do this in. You can go Grimm’s Fairy Tale or you can go the modern sanitized Disney route.
Just whatever you do, keep it child friendly. (Try to keep it at level 3 maturity level or less)
You write a bunch of text filled with swearing, you fail.
You write about graphic violence, you fail.
You write about graphic sex, you fucking fail.
Now obviously the question I’m going to get from some of you is what constitutes any of those things. Well some of that should be obvious and I’m not really going to waste too much time on explaining, so I’m going to roll the dice and hope that most of you have enough common sense to know what is and isn’t allowed.
(Also it will be funnier when one of you inevitably fails in this task and loses the contest believing that they were well within the guidelines.)
However I will say, the most flexible of those is probably violence thanks to the good old Grimm Brothers.
Remember to post links to your stories here if you make one.
Anyway, the deadline is November 1st, good luck.
So go ahead and post it on both sites. Not like I care if you submit something you're already working on. I could read it and it could suck and you'd lose anyway despite having something ready.
Knowing some of the people on this site, such stories would probably fail the contest's PG-rating requirements.
I'll write about a boat. A big boat.
So we're writing a children's storygame, correct?
Yep. Like I said, just stay within the guidelines and you should be fine. I doubt if many people are going to join so it's an easy opportunity to potentially win if you're the only one submitting something.
It's also a chance to get out of the pit of SHAME if you're currently in it. (Or the special cell of disappointment)
If I enter, do I get a personalized, ultra vulgar Endmaster critique?
This is a children's story contest, not a fucking Edgelord competition, you fucking mong. You're supposed to be writing a story for young readers that may stumble upon this site, not getting off on me verbally abusing you. Read the goddamn instructions.
That being said, yes you can attempt to write an "edgy-lite" children's story. Remember, I didn't say you couldn't still write a villain protagonist. Might be slightly more challenging, but if you want to try to write an "evil Harry Potter" rip off, knock yourself out. He just can't be doing stuff like raping his female wizard best friend obviously.
Oh, I wasn't gonna do any edgey anything, I just wanted you to call me a fucking mong. I succeeded! I'll go write about alligator pie now.
Alligator pie is extremely nutritious! :D
Are subtle references to lewd humor or violence allowed?
Lewd humor, well if you want to risk doing that I'm not going to say no. After all, there is a proud tradition getting shit past the radar in children's stuff. Even in today's Disney movies they're hiding dicks in every scene.
It'll be a case by case basis, but sure if you think you're subtle enough then you can go for it. Obviously if you mess up, you'll just fail and that will be the end of it.
Violence, of course. Death even. Like I said, just don't go into major graphic description.
You can say the witch cooks little children and eats them, but you can't say she skins them alive, uses a sharp iron rod to skewer them through their ass and out their mouth like a pig on a spit and feasts on their tender bits first because she likes those the best.
If anyone needs a good example of a guideline for a children's story here:
Go ahead and write your emo children's story. The original Little Mermaid had a shitty sad ending so it's fine.
Considering I've never put much of any swearing and certaintly no graphic sex (or violence) into my storygames, I may write something if I can get a working idea and a muse.
Does making it child friendly also mean I should use grammar that a child could realistically comprehend? I beilieve the answer would be: "Yes, you fool. Why the F### would you make child friendly game just to scare away children with words like 'superlative'?" :)
What Mizal said.
Though if your urge to help children is just too overwhelming, include a link to a glossary for words that you believe are too "complex" for kids.
I'm reminded of an old children's book called "The Adventures of Mole and Troll" which did this at the back of it. (And several other old children's books that I can't remember at the moment, probably were school related though)
Cool beans, that's delightful news. Thank you.
Don't Grimm tales have a lot of sexual references though?
They probably contained sexual references that would be pretty tame today. Like there was a bit that was removed about rapunzel being pregnant ("Why is my dress getting tight around the belly?").
I mean if you put something pretty innocent like that in your story, it's not going to be an automatic fail.
If you start going into excessive description of the long haired maiden having a triple X throw down with the prince, that's where the story would get disqualified.
Again, err on the side of caution if you aren't sure.
Grimm was kind of bloody. It had a kid slicing open the throats of talking animals over a card game, (casino knife fights must have been ubiquitous even among kids back then?) And a witch without skin who wore the face/skin of a young woman to seduce a king. It read a lot more like Conan then any other book back then. Ideally, you should be free to write some dark Indiana-Jones-ass shit as long as you don't swear or explicitly mention the blood and guts.
That is true, but I think a lot of what was fucked up about the kids stories of yore was the tone. They escalate quickly and often end on sour or neutral notes after a lot of horrible, uncopable shit has happened. A lot of kids' stories these days are much happier, so you tend to forget the horrible fucked up parts because overall, it was a positive adventure that rewarded you for getting past the scary parts rather than being horrible all the way through, EG So much Don Bluth stuff, a lot of 70s Sci-Fi/fantasy stuff, The sordid and violent history of LOTR, almost everything Roald Dahl wrote, etc. etc. Then again, as someone who actually did read a lot of pulpy fantasy when I was little, I may be a tad skewed.
Obisovusly not because Archer and Mage are to totally different classes
No need to be confused because you're banned again Negative.
I'm actually hoping to do something in correlation with the Coraline movie. That really was able to bring scary shit to viewership of children without going over the top.
how scary can I make this?
Lol. Okay, I'll play for now.
Make it as scary as you want, so if you want to make a story about a teenage girl who hates her mom and dad and a bunch of other bad stuff happening to her go ahead, just don't swear or write any graphic sex or graphic violence.
Okay, Thank you @Endmaster
There was this girl named Haley, She lived with her mother and her father who she hated more than anyone could imagine. She was treated very poorly, they always beat on her and called her so many names that a child shouldn't be taught at a young age. Her father was always cussing her out and sending her to her room and locking her in from the outside. Then one day creepy stuff started to happen, things were moving by themselves. Of course her parents didn't believe her that she was seeing things move that weren't supposed to. Haley would hear stuff being broken and when she would go investigate, her parents would come out and they would see her standing in the kitchen surrounded by broken dishes, they would jump to conclusions and they would automatically blame her.
I Would finish this but Graphic Violence is against the rules.
Wow, I guess you really aren't able to do anything right, Gemini.
Lol. So much fail.
Anyway banned again. I'm sure she'll do better next time.
I can't find myself blaming the parents.
I'm really starting to wonder what number we're up to with her. She's made many failed prompts and accounts that have been met with annihilation. Though history has shown she's not someone who learns very well, I will also try sharing this optimism of yours.
As of the last one 10.
Whenever her alts pop up they always still share an IP with Seto for some reason. I know he said he knows her in real life though.
I mean it's possible this is some elaborate ongoing joke on his part for who would ever suspect Seto?
Tbf, we should only have one IP that is the same for reasons I've mentioned before, and I've been told I have around 3 pages of other IPs.
I also was gone for a while because my other work sched changed and I had to work a graveyard shift.
u shoulda added trigger warning
You know he's serious, cause he's already wielding the banhammer in his profile pic.
The sad thing is that salty story is in the lead right now. I'm not aware of any other submissions...
Your name is Tommy. You have a Tommy gun. What do you do?
A. Rob a bank.
You rob a bank. You take a big bag of money, but the police come. They arrest you, and you go to prison. The end.
B. Practice shooting
You practice shooting and become really good at it. When WW2 happens, you shoot 300 Nazis and 2 Italian fascists. You win all the Army medals except the purple heart since you never get shot. The end.
Honestly I'll be amazed if any of you sloths submit anything, let alone anything that is worth a shit.
Still, this is the opportunity to potentially gain pointless points, comms, achievements, trophies and "get out of the SHAME pit" if you're in it, all at no risk, so it's all of your loss and none of my own.
Something is stirring in the forest.