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Once upon a time in a faraway land was a boy named John, son of a whore, born in a whorehouse; left to fend for himself in the streets of Redania. John was adopted by a wandering group of mercenaries, who raised him to learn the way of the sword. John's mercenary masters treated him like their own kin and John was growing stronger by the day.

"Keep your left foot in front John. No, no wrong; put your shield over your fucking head last thing you want is it to be sliced off your shoulders from an overhead strike. Yes, good fine. All right let's see how good you take this strike."  Says Aldridge before he takes a wooden greatsword and strikes it with expert precision at John's shield. The force of the impact is so powerful that it causes John to lose balance and fall headfirst in the ground. 

"Stop behaving like a fucking weakling you think those outland barbarians will take it easy on you just because your a kid? No they fucking won't; they'll hang you to a tree, chop your balls off, skin your flesh and put fucking garlic in your ass to preserve you for the winter. You want that to happen to you John?"

"N-No father" John wearily replies.

"Then get the fuck up and fight! This world will eat you up if your a fucking weakling you hear me? There is one and only one rule, survival of the fittest."

With renounced vigor, John gets up and giving a battle cry runs towards Aldridge dropping his shield. John raises his sword above his head and with both his hands and strikes at his torso. Aldridge simply sidesteps to the left and grabs John's hands. He disarms John with a quick knee to the wrists, locks his hand and trips him with his leg causing John to fall down.

"Your a fucking weakling you little shit. If you want to be a part of the Whendward band, you've gotta be fucking worth it. Your a disgrace on the name of the band. Training is over for today. Go get your worthless ass cleaned and hurry up to the main camp. Your on stable duty."

Aldridge leaves without another word. John fumbles to get up back on his feet but manages after taking support from a nearby tree. "I will be worth it." he thinks to himself. 

After dusting himself off, John hurries off to the nearby river to freshen himself up. "One day I will be worth it."

 

Garlic up ass preserves for the winter? Who'd have thunk it? I should take notes. ^_^

Also, it's a good way to protect your ass from vampires. 

Conversely, not a good way to protect your ass from Italians.

@undr

Confirm?

Lol I prefer onions.

I find it a little hard to believe that a group of mercenaries would adopt a little child, but let's go with that. The writing is generaly good and I liked the description of the fight, but there are a couple problems with your grammar.

• Punctuation: the first sentence has a weird semicolon and a couple lines by Aldridge don't have enough punctuation.

• 'With renounced vigor' doesn't make sense in this context but is an interesting phrase.

• You wrote 'Your' instead of 'You're' for three consecutive times in Aldridge's last lines of dialogue. 

your/you're misuse killed it. everything else was far less annoying

*generally* :D

I don't think renounced means what you think it means.

Not a bad start but it's just a tiny blurb from an intro so there's not much to actually discuss aside from the what others have pointed out about the punctuation and grammar. I feel like a sample this small put up for scrutiny could've been proof read a lot better. Aside from the your / you're stuff, I'd really recommend looking up how to punctuate dialogue.

I was going for something synonymous to 'new' and came up with 'renounced', changing the whole meaning of the sentence sorry about that :P 

Glad to see dark humor is appreciated here, I was given hell on other sites for posting stuff like this. 

Yeah I understood that you were meaning 'renewed'. A lot of things are appreciated here unless they're too retarded.

What are these other sites you speak of?

Alter stories, I had posted the exact same thing there; it's a site where the readers could further add to the story and not just the author. Sadly, no one had the inclination to add anything more and I also got a bunch of pm's saying that I should've informed them before hand on the "nature of the story". 

I hope you responded by informing them the world would eat them up for being such a fucking weakling.

And shove garlic up their ass for good measure. ^_^