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CYS Story of Sorts

4 years ago

The other day I told @DerPrussen that I had no ideas for a CYS story after he challenged me to write one, but this morning I remembered a conversation @Digit and I had had that he said I should make a story about.  So accept my humble offering, the both of you.  

 

TRUE STORY 100%

"Are you going to give it to me, or aren't you?" the cricket asked the spirit.   

"I just don't see the point in any of this."  A closed pint jar with tinted glass floated before The Ghost's incorporeal apparition, just out of the range of the cricket in case she grew impatient and jumped for it.  

"Do you have to see the point in this?  You've already gotten it for me, and I don't see any possible use you could have for it.  Unless you're into that sort of thing."

"Ew, no.  Not at all.  What are you going to pay me with though?  I had to track down Steve to get it, and I feel kinda bad for bothering him and it was weird asking him."

"Well, that's what--oh geez. Hold on."  Cricket turned to the minstrel playing in the corner.  "Would you turn it down a bit please?  A little further--no, not that, yeah, there."  Satisfied at the volume her murder ballads were being played at, she continued.  "That's what friends are for.  I don't see what's weird about it."

"It's just...Never mind," The Ghost said, realizing she wasn't going to get anywhere arguing with an insect over what acceptable boundaries among friends were in decent society.  She floated down to Cricket's level, and Cricket reached for the jar.  "Wait.  You still need to pay me."

"Did you think I wasn't going to?   Who do you think I am?" she grumbled before reaching into her pocket and pulling out an ear.  "Since you liked the Polar Apes so much.  You're welcome."

"What the hell, Cricket!?  Why would--forget it.  I'm confused.  My mom's calling me."  And just like that, The Ghost was gone.

Pleased with herself, Cricket returned the ear to her pocket and pulled on some gloves before grabbing the jar.  A moment of self-consciousness hit her.  Maybe she could see how her request was weird. Just as quickly as it hit her, she brushed it off.  The Ghost wasn't threatened or coerced.  What could an insect like herself possibly do that was threatening anyway?  Tattle to the Lich King?  With those unpleasant thoughts out of her mind, she left the closet and started off to the home of Digit.  Along the way, she ran into an unfamiliar face.

"Hi, I don't really know what to say, but I thought this kingdom seemed pretty cool and, yeah."

"Welcome to Cystia," the cricket said before realizing something.  Immediately her antennae began waving franticly, and she pulled out some crumpled papers and the ear from her pocket before tossing aside the ear.   "Have you heard the good news of our Lord the Lich King yet!"

"Well, I just got here, but--"

"He graced our lands with his writings free of charge to all, and you need to read them because they are the best!"  She shoved one of the papers into the drooling newcomer's hand.  "They are amazing in any order, but I recommend that you read the complete canon in the order I wrote here, and here's a map of how to get to the great library which they have blessed!"

"Uh, yeah, thanks.  I'll check them out sometime, I guess."

"You won't regret it if you do except to wish you had found them sooner."

"Okay..."

Satisfied with the good deed she had done, Cricket had an extra spring in her step as she left the noob and continued toward the house of Digit, which was saying a lot, as she was a cricket.  

She found Digit running laps around his house before he saw her and stopped.  "Did you get it?!"

"Yes, I brought the honey."

Digit eagerly grabbed the jar.  "It looks a little funny wven with the tinted jar."

"It's garbage honey.  The schmeckels you gave me aren't accepted in the market I go to."

"Well, yeah, dumdum.  There aren't any Jews in Cystia.  Oh well, garbage honey is still honey."  He moved to unscrew the lid.

"It was predigested by Malk."  

Immediately Digit dropped the jar and recoiled.  "...Where did you get such a bio-weapon?"

"I got it from The Ghost who got it from Steve who, well, never mind."  

Digit could have sworn the grass where the jar was had been green and alive earlier.  "Hey, I have an idea!"

"What is it?"

"Let's prank the Medusa with this.  It will be funny."

"I think the Elf Queen is still mad at me after the incident with the fish though."

"Don't worry; the Lich King will protect you if she finds out."

"What about you though?"

"She likes me.  I'll be fine.  Besides, the weather in Hell reminds me of home."  

"All right.  So what do you want to do?"

***

The cave where the Medusa lived was not far from the house of Digit, but the surrounding environment was vastly different.  The landscape was rocky, and the sound of tomcats fighting could be heard echoing over the hills.  Behind a rock, Cricket and Digit went over the plan again before Cricket, being an insect and thus, hopefully, with greater immunity to the ill effects of handling Malk's waste, took the jar and a torch and scurried over to the cave.  After creeping around the large, black cat that guarded the cave entrance, Cricket went into the cave.  It was far too long before she found the Medusa, busily writing what was no doubt a letter filled with praise and backhanded compliments begging the Lich Lord to allow her back into the town.  Cricket opened the jar and scooped some of the contents out with a nearby dagger before spreading it on the underside of the bed-frame.  The Medusa turned and stabbed the ground next to the insect with her knife.  

"Why don't you come a little closer, faggot?"  

Cricket considered it, hoping she might get a hug, before she remembered what had happened last time she tried that.  Then she scurried out of the cave as fast as she could, before being caught by the giant cat.  

"Good job, Ferdo!" the Medusa praised her pet.  "I knew it was you, Cricket.  I could smell the plaid on you."

"How did you do..."  Cricket trailed off as she saw someone in the forest.  Was it salvation?  She called out for help, and the Chicken Witch came walking up.  "Crap."

"Cricket's bullying a blind girl!"  Mayana said.  

"Wait.  I'm the one who's hanging by the leg from a cat mouth here.  What can an insect like me even do anyway?"  

The Chicken Witch cackled.  "I think it's obvious what I need to do here, and I am sure the Elf Queen will agree with me.  Come out here, Digit!"  

Digit came out from behind his rock, and then the Elf Queen came riding up on her gay unicorn.  "What's going on here, Sabley?"

"A blind girl was being bullied, and Cricket must pay the price."

The Elf Queen shook her head.  "Just send her to Hell until 'daddy' lets her out.  Digit too.  I don't know what he was doing, but I know he was in on it."

And that's how the bio-weapon was lost.  

 

CYS Story of Sorts

4 years ago
A vast improvement over your last attempt. This one isn't even porn! Well written and funny, congratulations!

CYS Story of Sorts

4 years ago

No calling me a faggot or nothing?  HOLY SMOCKES IT'S CHRISTMAS  :D

Thanks.

CYS Story of Sorts

4 years ago

lol I love this story.

CYS Story of Sorts

4 years ago

Glad to hear it.

CYS Story of Sorts

4 years ago

That was great. I vaguely remember some of these events.