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The Tragedy Of Amelia Jackson

4 years ago

Your footsteps echoed through the entire dark hallway, as I was running towards the shimmering silver light seeping through the gap at the bottom of the door. You rushed in, barging through the door hard with your shoulder, with my revolver in hand as I cocked the hammer and aimed down the sights. Time seemed to slowdown at that exact very moment, as beads of tension slided down my face. As light gushed into the room, providing visibility…you were was shocked. The room was deserted. There was nobody there, except for the vermin that scurried all around the room and the revolting stench of the rotten food littered allaround.

Where the fuck did they vanish?” I thought, while removing my mobile and calling HQ.

“Hello, this Dixons’ general store, how can I help you?”

Not wanting to waste precious time with the fake receptionist, you immdeieately said the passward.

“Lazarus.”

After a few minutes of dead silence, a computerised voice spoke.

“What’s the matter J?”

“She’s not here,” you said, observing the desolate barren basement room.

“Are you sure?”

“Posit- ARGH!“

Before you can complete your statement however, you hear the unmistakeable sound of a firearm going off right behind you, but in the exact next second, an extremely unbearable pain hit your knee with full force, causing you to fall on the cold damp floor.

Your leg felt like its been stung by a million killer bees, as you were writhing and screaming in pain while trying to stop the bleeding by holding your leg… or whatever was left of it.

“Such a shame, Jefferson, such a shame,” says a feminine voice from behind you.

“Wh-wha? Who is it?” You say as dark red blood oozes out from below you. You think your shin bone has protuded out from your leg so you dare not attempt to stand up, lest you break it.

The owner of the voice, came into your vision. A young girl, about fourteen years old,in blue jeans and a grey hoodie,  holding a pump action with both her hands.

“Just be glad it wasn’t a slug, or your leg would’ve been sawed clean off,” she said in a comical tone, as she removed a cigarette from her pocket and lit it while placing it in her mouth.

You’re confused and baffled. Your mission was the rescue of a hostage 14 year old girl, named Amelia Jackson who somehow managed to keep in contact with you when she was kidnapped. You tried your best to comfort her, and reveal her location to you by observing the street signs she could barely see through the gap of the locked trunk she was in.

“Quite the acting right?” She smirked with a coy smile, relating to the numerous conversations you had with her. “My old school friends used to call me a compulsive liar, that is before I blew their heads off with this exact same piece here.”

“You’re responsible for the murder of Andrew Johnson?” you remark, still in shock.

Upon hearing that name, she visibly flinches,”That son of a bitch cheated on me! He…he promised me…I was angry…,” she says, as tears drop down her face.

“…he left me with no choice,” she said, “He deserved it.”

“Why did you do this? What the hell do you want you deranged psyc-ARGH!”  

She pointed the gun at your other leg and pulled the trigger. The shotgun shook violently in her hands, as it almost pushed her back a few feet from the recoil.

“I would advise you to think before you speak, Jefferson. I won’t be so merciful next time.”

Your vision starts to slowly fade as you lie on the ground. You don’t feel pain anymore, only numbness. Numbness and lifelessness as your strength starts to slowly leave your body.

“As for why am I doing this,” she continues, “well… that’s because it’s fun.  The two other officers before you were so naïve and easy to convince. I persuaded them through my methods to reveal this new location where the kidnappers went into hiding, and you just followed what I said like a flock of sheep  heading towards a slaughterhouse. It’s amazing what a little sweet talking and lies can achieve don’t you think?”

“You…you bitc-ARGH!”

She came forwar, kicking you hard in the chest.

“What did I just say about language? Now listen to me carefully, let us make a deal. I want you to call HQ and tell them that you’ve been shot by the fleeing kidnappers; and in return I’ll give you a quick and painless death.”

“Go fu-fuck your self!”

Suddenly, you felt a sharp sting in your stomach, as she stabbed  you with a knife.

“You’re a stubborn one, aren’t you?” She said as she removed the phone from your pocket and redials the last call.

“ARGH!” You scream, as she turned the knife through your stomach in a clockwise motion and pried out your intestine. The phone starts ringing.

“Just like prying open the lid of a can, isn’t it? Now speak,” you gave the password and the voice connects to the same computer modified voice.

“What is it J?”

You keep silent, trying your best to resist but then she grabs the finger of your left arm and threatens to cut them out with her knife.

“They…they got me I’m shot…”

She immedieately grabbed the phone and threw it down on the ground. The screen shattered into millions of pieces.

“Good job, but well you should’ve realised to never trust a liar as compulsive as me…”

She said as she placed her knife over your thumb.
 

“No..no don…ARGHH!”

She brought her hand back and with all her  force chopped through your thumb.

“Reminds of chopping carrots for my stew. Maybe these taste the same? Only one way to find out…”

She began doing the same for your second figure, but stopped mid-way.

“Ah, forget it. This is way too tedious,” she said as she took the shotgun and pulled the trigger pointing it directly at your fingers.

You don’t scream this time. All you feel is numbness. Numbness through your entire body.  It’s a miracled that your still alive, but you hope for death rather than this pain.

“Oh what’s this?” She says while taking the damaged phone from the ground. The image of another officer is visible on the broken screen, with yellow letters saying ‘EN ROUTE FOR BACKUP’

“Hm, this looks like it has much more finer quality of meat. Maybe, I could have some…kinky fun this one time.”

“Thank you so much Jefferson, give my regards to whoever you meet in your afterlife,” she winks at you, as she readies the shotgun at your forehead and pulls the trigger.

The darkness comes so quickly, you don’t even notice it.

“In recent news, a gang of dangerous kidnappers on the loose since 3 weeks,  responsible for the death of 14 officers and the kidnapping of a 14 year old,  Amelia Jackson. It is highly advised that you remain cautious and vigilant at all times till the poilce force resolves this matter.”

The Tragedy Of Amelia Jackson

4 years ago
This's a huge mess that you really should fix ... so of course I'm going to edit lock it.
This's a good example of why you shouldn't rush things. Where do I even start? Random switching from second to first person, fuckloads of typos, odd wording, switches from past to present tense ... I'm just going to review this later. Yes.

The Tragedy Of Amelia Jackson

4 years ago
I was going to delete this so Shouja could edit, but actually, Mayana is right, there was no reason to rush this and now we laff.

The whole thing can be edited and reposted as a reply if she wishes to try and raise her failing grade.

Haven't really had a chance to read it in detail yet but it's at least a massive improvement on that anime thing she introduced herself with.

The Tragedy Of Amelia Jackson

4 years ago

Fixed it and made a new thread. 

The Tragedy Of Amelia Jackson

4 years ago

And hey, I rewrote that anime thing! https://chooseyourstory.com/story/Kimi_Ni_Todoke.aspx

The Tragedy Of Amelia Jackson

4 years ago

https://chooseyourstory.com/forums/creative-corner/message/25265

The Tragedy Of Amelia Jackson

4 years ago

Your footsteps echoed through the entire dark hallway as you were running towards the shimmering silver light seeping through the gap at the bottom of the door. You hit the door with your shoulder, with your revolver in hand as you cocked the hammer and aimed down the sights. Time seemed to slow down at that exact moment. Beads of tension began sliding down your face. Light scattered into the room, providing visibility to your surroundings. The room was deserted. There was nobody there, except for the vermin that scurried all around the room and the revolting stench of the rotten food littered all around.

Where the fuck did they vanish?” you thought, while removing your mobile and calling HQ.

“Hello, this is Dixons’ general store, how can I help you?”

Not wanting to waste precious time with the fake receptionist, you immdeieately said the passward.

“Lazarus.”

After a few minutes of dead silence, a computerised voice spoke.

“What’s the matter J?”

“She’s not here,” you said, observing the desolate barren basement room.

“Are you sure?”

“Posit- ARGH!“

Before you can complete your statement however, you hear the unmistakeable sound of a firearm going off right behind you, but in the exact next second, an extremely unbearable pain hit your knee with full force, causing you to fall on the cold damp floor.

Your leg felt like it was stung by a million killer bees, as you were writhing and screaming in pain while trying to stop the bleeding by holding your leg… or whatever was left of it.

“Such a shame, Jefferson, such a shame,” says a feminine voice from behind you.

“Wh-wha? Who is it?” You say as dark red blood oozed out from below you. You thought your shin bone had protuded out from your leg, so you didn’t dare to try standing, lest you break it.

The owner of the voice came into your vision. A young girl, about fourteen years old, in blue jeans and a grey hoodie, holding a pump action in both her hands.

“Just be glad it wasn’t a slug, or your leg would’ve been sawed clean off,” she said in a comical tone, as she removed a cigarette from her pocket and lit it while placing it in her mouth.

You’re confused and baffled. Your mission was the rescue of a hostage. A 14 year old girl, named Amelia Jackson who somehow managed to keep in contact with you when she was kidnapped. You tried your best to comfort her, and made her reveal her location to you by observing the street signs she could barely see through the gap of the locked trunk she was in.

“Quite the acting right?” She smirked with a coy smile, relating to the numerous conversations you had with her. “My old school friends used to call me a compulsive liar, that is before I blew their heads off with this exact same piece here.”

“You’re responsible for the murder of Andrew Johnson?” you remark, still in shock.

Upon hearing that name, she visibly flinches,”That son of a bitch cheated on me! He…he promised me…I was angry…,” she says, as tears drop down her face.

“…he left me with no choice,” she said, “He deserved it.”

“Why did you do this? What the hell do you want you deranged psyc-ARGH!”  

She pointed the gun at your other leg and pulled the trigger. The shotgun shook violently in her hands, as it almost pushed her back a few feet from the recoil.

“I would advise you to think before you speak, Jefferson. I won’t be so merciful next time.”

Your vision started to slowly fade as you lied on the ground. You didn’t feel pain anymore, only numbness. Numbness and lifelessness as your strength started to slowly leave your body.

“As for why am I doing this,” she continues, “well… that’s because it’s fun.  The two other officers before you were so naïve and easy to convince. I persuaded them through my methods to reveal this new location where the kidnappers went into hiding, and you just followed what I said like a flock of sheep  heading towards a slaughterhouse. It’s amazing what a little sweet talking and lies can achieve don’t you think?”

“You…you bitc-ARGH!”

She came forward, kicking you hard in the chest.

“What did I just say about language? Now listen to me carefully, let us make a deal. I want you to call HQ and tell them that you’ve been shot by the fleeing kidnappers; and in return I’ll give you a quick and painless death.”

“Go fu-fuck your self!”

Suddenly, you felt a sharp sting in your stomach, as she stabbed  you with a knife.

“You’re a stubborn one, aren’t you?” She said as she removed the phone from your pocket and redials the last call.

“ARGH!” You screamed, as she turned the knife through your stomach in a clockwise motion and pried out your intestine. The phone starts ringing.

“Just like prying open the lid of a can, isn’t it? Now speak,” you gave the password and the voice connects to the same computer modified voice.

“What is it J?”

You kept silent, trying your best to resist but then she grabbed the finger of your left arm and threatened to cut them out with her knife.

“They…they got me, I’m shot…”

She immedieately grabbed the phone and threw it down on the ground. The screen shattered into millions of pieces.

“Good job, but well you should’ve realised to never trust a liar as compulsive as me…”

She said as she placed her knife over your thumb.
 

“No..no don…ARGHH!”

She brought her hand back and with all her  force chopped through your thumb with a sickening crunch.

“Reminds of chopping carrots for my stew. Maybe these taste the same? Only one way to find out…”

She began doing the same for your second finger, but stopped mid-way.

“Ah, forget it. This is way too tedious,” she said as she took the shotgun and pulled the trigger pointing it directly at your fingers.

You didn’t scream that time. All you felt was numbness. Numbness through your entire body.  It was a miracled that you were still alive, but you hoped for death rather than this pain.

“Oh what’s this?” She says while taking the damaged phone from the ground. The image of another officer was visible on the broken screen, with yellow letters saying ‘EN ROUTE FOR BACKUP’

“Hm, this one looks like it has much more finer quality meat. Maybe, I could have some…kinky fun this  time.”

“Thank you so much Jefferson, give my regards to whoever you meet in your afterlife,” she winked at you, as she aimed the shotgun at your forehead and pulled the trigger.

The darkness came so quickly, you didn’t even notice it.

“In recent news, a gang of dangerous kidnappers is on the loose since 3 weeks,  responsible for the death of 14 officers and the kidnapping of a 14 year ol,  Amelia Jackson. It is highly advised that you remain cautious and vigilant at all times till the poilce force resolves this matter.”