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1000 words to get out of HELL :)

4 years ago

Elan Versus The World

Twas a gloomy Monday afternoon when all the scrawny, yet sturdy high schoolers were filing onto the lengthy musk-smelling school bus. Everyone started out sitting in their usual seats when Elan (the Degenerate) noticed the mischievous smirk of TC (The Dumb Dude). Knowing his friend Elan pushed Fic into the seat and looked over the seat to see what TC was doing, to be heavily bombarded with a large sum of empty water balloons. Then Mike (The LumberJack) and Sammie (The Trap) filed into the seat behind. Everybody grabbing their share of the dime sized balloons. Then the bus driver tripped trying to sit down in her seat, and fell on her fat ass, erupting laughter from the entire bus, except for a few goodie two shoes who helped her into her seat. After this miraculous event TC realized that the balloons could be folded together to make odd shapes and of course felt the need to make mock genitals, with red shafts and blue balls. Then the bus driver finally started to leave the school. TC handed Elan one of the mock genitalia, which was then rubbed on JT’s (If he got punched in the forehead it’d sound like bubble wrap) lips, where it then popped, but not before the other kids saw… and started mass producing the damn things. By the time the route was 1/3 the way over, there were these rubber meat sticks everywhere. That's when phase 2 began… The poppening… where the kids were just popping the hell out of those raunchy balloons, leaving behind the soft rubber shrapnel, then the bus slowed to a halt, in the small median in the center of Death Highway, to stand up, rigidly look Elan straight in the eyes and say in a shrill voice “Your Write-Up will be prepared by the morning” at that moment Elan knew he had very few options, if he were to stay with his girlfriend, he had a bad record already, one more screw up, and he would end up in the farthest Youth Detention Center that his parents could afford. So of course he plead his case to the bus driver, which had absolutely no positive effect. So he just slept the rest of the ride. 

Upon arrival at his bus stop, Elan quickly hopped off to go home, thinking about his game plan, or lack there of. He proceeded to go feed his dogs, chickens, and cows, then went in and started texting his girlfriend lasting late into the night. After several back and forth questions about the events of their days and their sweet nothings while Elan reassured her he would never leave her, then they started talking in a deep manner, all the while maintaining the romantic mood and getting more… intense, until finally she had to go to sleep. Then realizing the wonderful, and blissful moment that was perfect to say “I love you” for the first time. So he sent his little <3 and underneath said “Guess what?”. She responded in record time, saying “What? <3”. To which he replied “I love you, Goodnight beautiful”. She sent back a blushing emoji and said “I love you too” with a winky face after. Then as he went to sleep Elan started thinking about everything, and finally drifted off with the last thing he remembered thinking was how ““DO NOT TOUCH” would probably be a really unsettling thing to read in braille.” 

The next morning Elan got on his bus and started contemplating excuses that he could use in the event that he was lectured or in trouble, and was sad because his girlfriend wouldn't text him. Elan was worried about his fate, as he didn’t want to lose his girl, and promised not to leave her. She’d hate him, or at least thats what he thought. Then as the bus turned into Chris Crick High School  and Elan immediately noticed an additional police car parked at the drop off zone. This enciting a wave of anxiety from deep within Elan. So he franticly spammed the hell out of his girlfriend, but it was too late, the police officers approached the slowing bus. The bus stopped and all the people got off, then slowly but surely Elan stepped off the bus, with his tattered backpack held in one white-knuckled hand. The police officers simply said “You know the drill” after patting him down then cuffed him and roughly shoved him into the back of the old police cruiser “off to the correction center”. “Shit” was all he could think.

A few days later after all the stuff had settled and the paperwork was filed, Elan opted for full time, instead of going home at the end of the day, and got settled right in. The first few nights were fine, the food was cold in the middle and tasted terrible as if someone microwaved dog crap. Elan had the distrust of several guards, those being the people made uncomfortable due to his name being similar to an Ex-Guard, who was banished from the imprisonment for seducing young prisoners. From those guards that he had met, mizal seemed relatively chill, but maybe a little bit harsh, and Tim, who seems interestingly uninteresting. These people he was sure would appreciate a 1,000 word letter of appreciation, and stories of his ventures. He had already started to appreciate the friends he had in this hellish world, such as Maya, and Finnie (which he knew from the outside). He realized that he hadn’t been this productive in months, and anyway pushed harder and harder to get out of the maximum security section of the grounds. Upon finishing his letter they said he was going to go back to Gen-Pop, which gave him the second wave of anxiety, missing his hellbound friends, hoping that they too would eventually get transferred over with him. Thats when he woke up on his cold lumpy bed in his cold ugly room to hear a low raspy voice, the voice of a smoker say “Hello… friend”. To your surprise you fainted yet again.

First CYOA Piece (No deadline please, I don’t have a computer of my own at this current moment) : 
Hi you’re Elan, and you just woke up after a week of constant drama and little to no contact with your girlfriend. You recognize the raspy voice and scraggly face as Mic NcDonald, the boy that is “Just friends” with your girl. What do you do?

1. Silence him, you just woke up.
2. Silence him, he likes your girlfriend
3. Go back to sleep
4. Cry yourself to sleep whilst stroking a meatstick  

  

1000 words to get out of HELL :)

4 years ago

You asked for it you got it, 1000 words written by yours truly, i hope you enjoy! (I know it's not the best, but after seeing Fic's poet battle im sure you guys have seen worse)

1000 words to get out of HELL :)

4 years ago

Is there a 5th option for committing suicide after reading that?

1000 words to get out of HELL :)

4 years ago

yes, i forgot to paste it in

1000 words to get out of HELL :)

4 years ago
What the fuck is this

1000 words to get out of HELL :)

4 years ago
Elan is an adorably stupid and wholesome bard to me, how could you taint the name like this, Im offended

1000 words to get out of HELL :)

4 years ago
Wha t is going on I'm so confused

1000 words to get out of HELL :)

4 years ago

Well, you managed to absolutely confuse mizal, so that's a first.