Non-threaded

Forums » Creative Corner » Read Thread

Take part in collaborative works, share your short stories, poems, original artwork and more.

The Hill.

4 years ago
Commended by mizal on 3/11/2020 3:33:32 PM

Your maniple marches around a bend in the road. Finally your goal is in sight. You can see the Gort on top of the hill. Carthagian mercenaries have taken it from the locals.

 

They look to be a mix of Spanish Scutari and Libyan spearmen. There may still be some Caetratus in the hills. The Spanish slingers have harried your formation for miles. The Velites, your javelin men, have chased them off though. You haven't seen them in over an hour now.

 

Your Centurion marches your maniple around the hill and up the most gentle slopes. You see the Scutari, Spanish Celts that have taken Carthagian coin, form up ahead. The slog up the hill begins and your maniple of Hastati, the youths of Rome lead the way with you among them.

The Scutari across from you start marching down to meet you. They each bear a shield and a Falcata, which is a forward curving sword, built for chopping and stabbing.

 

You feel bile ride up your throat and a ball of anxiety sits itself in the pit of your stomach. Your maniple keeps the slow and steady pace up the hill as the Scutari pick up the pace.

 

Your Centurion calls for a halt right before the hill increases in steepness.

"Ready Javelins!" is called and you do so.

"Toss!!!"

You pick out a target that you can see from the third line you stand in and watch your javelin bounce off his shield. The heavy shaft of the weapon swings wildly through the air and bounces off the helmet of a Scutari behind your target.

You brace your shield against the man in front of you for the clash. 

The clash you were expecting doesn't come. The Scutari weren't expecting the decline they were running down to change suddenly. You watch as their heavy arms and armor carry them into the ground and they tumble over themselves. The first line of Hastati are on them like a pack of wolves on slumbering sheep. Some flee, others surrender, but many more are slain.

 

After the grisly work is done, you look up to see the hill already taken. Another Maniple took the fortified village at the top while yours drew the Scutari away.

Slaves are counted and the loot is gathered up for the Legion. The Celtiberians that were enslaved by the Carthagians are released to buy good will with the local tribes. The coin you get from your share of the loot is nothing to sneeze at. Not bad for not even bloodying a weapon.

 

You can see yourself following Scipio for a while longer if he brings you these sorts of Victories.

The Hill.

4 years ago
I know this was written to prove a point, and thanks for that. Anybody can type up a quick story and it doesn't have to be perfect and it's not the end of the world if it isn't.

I won't go into detail on critiquing this since I know it's essentially a first draft and wasn't written for that purpose, I'll just mention that it could've been expanded with more visual detail and context given, because right now it's a quick five hundred word blurb that nonetheless will require most people to have several Wikipedia tabs open to follow because you're such a freakin NERD.