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Hello everyone, 

I hope that the day is treating you well. I am currently working on a story called Negative and have published another story called Anti Life as a demo. I would appreciate if you would read it and just tell me what you thought of it and how I could improve. (Please don't post anything about the length as it is simply a demo) 

Adios,

Serene

Solidly written, the only issue I noticed was that you used "que" instead of "cue." I'm curious to find out what's going on -- keep writing, please! ^_^

Any advice for the full story?

Hard to say without knowing more about it... is there something specific you're stuck on?

Not really just wanted to get various peoples opinion 

Hi Serene. Welcome, and enjoy your stay.

As for your story, I don't have many problems to report.

Welcome, and glad to see you off to a running start with a story posted already!

Anti Life was fun to play through with really good use of items that felt intuitive. Great grammar and atmospheric build-up too. I found some of the scenes a little too exaggerated on the dark and bloody side, but I do like how the story threw me knee-deep into the horror genre right away.

Anyway, I'll be looking forward to seeing the game completed! It looks great so far! You've clearly got the advanced editor figured out, which is more than I can say for myself.

I haz commented.

@Sethaniel. Your twin. 

What? Where? 

Check out his profile.