The Weekly Review – Edition 11
What’s New?
- In the Lounge religious debates continue (Your religion (or lack ok) ? thread)
- In the Parlor Room another player falls victim to the entertaining but tricky puzzles of Tower of Riddles (Tower of Riddles thread)
- In the Forum Games section stuff happens!(any thread)
- In the Writing Workshop authors discuss the speed of their writing (How long does it take you to finish a storygame thread)
- In the Reading Room Ronhil12 asks for opinions on The Witcher series (The Witcher thread)
Featured Interview – Introducing Playa988
Speaking to us from the land of banishment through the medium of Aman is Playa988, the co-author of the most popular storygame on the site. Due to police intervention the interview was cut short.
Q: Why do you write Choose your Own Stories?
A: I like being able to tell a story while allowing the reader to have some control over what they’re reading, instead of having everything presented to them the way I see fit. Brings the immersion to a whole new level. Jah feel?
Q: What is your preferred method and writing style?
A: Don’t really know if I have a preferred style, but I try not to plan things too far ahead. I’ll usually have a broad outline of some major events I’d like to incorporate but I try to avoid writing myself into a box. Not only does this allow me to come up with more ideas on the fly but I also tend to get bored when the process starts getting streamlined and when I lose the motivation it’s hard to recapture. I like to come up with plots and brain storms for serious stories but I lack the discipline to write a true epic so I try to stick to writing short, humorous stories to enjoy a good laugh during a long day.
Q: Do you have any plans for future stories?
A: A few. Tanstaafl is a coauthor on a story I was working on before my ban and I think you guys would enjoy it. It was a CYS oriented story, kinda like Bacon Wars except CYS members are the central premise instead of a throwaway Easter egg. Starts in a high school and deals with tyranny and global domination, you know, the usual high school stuff.
Q: Who are your favorite authors and what are your favorite stories on this site?
A: Eternal is my favorite story since it allows me to live from birth to death and that’s just Farking awesome. Mommy is a close second but those are easy ones. HP 7 is probably my favorite underrated story though. Baryon is such a compelling character and it also raises some questions on the philosophical nature of violence, vigilantism and whether the ends meet the means. Plus it was pretty cool to see his story come full circle. Favorite authors would be SindriV, BZ and Endmaster. Sin and BZ are crazy good scripters and End is End.
Q: Any advice for other writers?
A: Write what you know best. If you don’t feel comfortable writing a certain type of character get another option. Also try to avoid the “do no wrong” type of characters, they’re boring. (Fun Fact: I just got pulled over while typing this. Wrists are still sore from the cuffs).
Q: How about some final thoughts?
A: Fark the police [/quote]
Featured Reviews: Bacon Wars
One of two little comedy stories by Playa988 (the other is Spongebob Quiz) according to the author he wrote this in 76 minutes and involves the cameos of four site members. This typifies the “fun way to kill 5 minutes” style of story game writing and has earned a 4/8 rating which is about as high as these sort of stories get rated. The fact that Playa988 can write a 4/8 story in 76 minutes is a good example of his literary talent, the masterpiece Homo Perfectus 8 which he coauthored with SindriV remains the most popular story on this site.
Speaking for myself I'll be glad when Playa988’s ban expires (assuming it does) and he can return to this site.
Jokes
Demetri Martin is a clever guy who's If Comedy Show remains a favorite of mine. Specializing in original one liners he sums up the British sense of humor quite well with some finding him a comic genius and others not finding him funny at all.
Here are some of his one liners:
-I think the worst time to have a heart attack is in a game of Charades, especially if your team mates are bad guessers.
- I was on the street, this guy waved at me, came over and then said “I’m sorry, I thought you were someone one.” So I said “I am”.
- I had a Where’s Wally Book but I lost it. All I could think of was “wow. Wally’s taken this game to the next level.”
- Employee of the month is a good example of how to be a winner and a loser at the same time.
- When you have a fat friend there are no see-saws… only catapults.
- The easiest time to add insult to injury is when you’re signing a cast.
- I saw a transvestite wearing a t-shirt that said “Guess”.
- One time I was riding an escalator and I tripped. I was falling down the stairs for an hour and a half.
- I wonder what the word for “dots” looks like in Braille.
- Hiking is just walking where it’s ok to pee.
- Siamese twins are interesting because they are the only people who can write an autobiography and a biography at the same time.
- Apparently it’s illegal to yell “fire“ in a crowded theatre. You need to yell something else instead like “flames”, “smoke maker” or “bad hot”.
- Saying “I’m sorry” is the same as saying “I apologize”. Except at a funeral.
- Iused to like playing sports. Then I realized you could buy trophies.
- "Sort of” is a pretty harmless thing to say, it doesn’t really mean anything. But after certain statements “sort of” means everything. Like after “I love” or “you’re going to live” or “It’s a boy!”
Quizzes
When R Kelly sang “my mind’s telling me yes but my body, my body’s telling me no” many assume he was talking about the emotional and psychological struggles of unrequited love but he was of course talking about KFC. Obesity is a problem that can come between couples (literally), drive America under the ocean like a modern day Atlantis and lead to cows resorting to increasingly hostile guerrilla tactics to save themselves from being turned into Big Macs.
With this in mind I’ve written a quiz to ask “are you obese” in a suitably sensitive and compassion way.
1: Have you ever encountered any of these problems...
A) Forcing a bus to go downhill by boarding it on the slope of a hill.
B) Forcing a lift to descend by boarding it on a second floor.
C) Forcing a plane to break by boarding it.
2: When you’re walking down the street have people ever...
A) Held their children close in case you eat them
B) Crossed the road to avoid being flattened
C) Shouted “there she blows” and pursued you with harpoons
3: When you go to the cinema do you have to...
A) Reserve your own theater room
B) Place your popcorn order in advance to avoid shortages
C) Insist to people you’re not doing a promotion for “The Blob”
4: Has your weight ever resulted in any of the following situations...
A) One Direction went the other way when they saw you
B) Even Dora the Explorer said the land mass before her was too big to be explored
C) Elephants gathering around you for shade
5: Has your size ever resulted in the following problems...
A) An inability to jump to conclusions
B) An inability to dodge responsibilities
C) An inability to push your luck
If you truthfully answered yes to any of the above A, B or C questions… Rehashed Yo Mama is fat jokes like the above are not jokes for you but statements of fact. The only doctor you ever see is Doctor Pepper and tragically you learnt your KFC before you learnt your ABC. There is little that can be done by this stage except appearing on Oprah.
If none of the above apply to you then you are like 100% of the rest of the human and do not need to have any concerns at all about your weight. Rather spend your time focusing on the important things in life like this newsletter.
Thanks for reading.
Many thanks to Playa988 for his interview (and best wishes for your trial) and to Aman for helping set it up.
