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Mass Effect: Androgynous

7 years ago

I see the usual MRA/Alt Right vs SJW/Feminazi crowds are in full swing on the latest Bioware mess.

http://www.gamefaqs.com/boards/168600-mass-effect-andromeda/75141574

http://www.gamefaqs.com/boards/168600-mass-effect-andromeda/75123344

Mass Effect: Androgynous

7 years ago

End, do you have sentries on the internet whose sole purpose it is to find these dumpster-fires as soon as they pop up (you're tracking these as far out as gamefaqs)?

Entitled children will be entitled children (and throw imaginary tantrums). It's as enlightening as hearing the North Pole is cold -_- (though mildly more funny)

E: And this was post number 666

Mass Effect: Androgynous

7 years ago

Mizal likes to read badly written internet stories, I like to read forum flame wars and general bitching about silly shit.

Speaking of which, the rage is real and the following picture is hilarious.

https://forum.choiceofgames.com/t/mass-effect-what-are-you-looking-most-forward-to/24618/377

Lol.

Mass Effect: Androgynous

7 years ago

Gay lovers. This is a video game about aliens, advanced technology, and exploration. But the thing that they're looking forward to the most is gay lovers. Wow.

Mass Effect: Androgynous

7 years ago

You forgot to add ........ IN SPAAAAAAAAAAAAACE

Also, that picture was disturbing, the guy looked like something a Necromancer had revived

The source for their discussions is... Russian data miners. Why am I not surprised?

Mass Effect: Androgynous

7 years ago

Can you honestly blame them? If the cut-scenes are anything to go by, then the love scenes will be even more intimate than before!

Mass Effect: Androgynous

7 years ago

I don't play a game for it's cut-scenes.

Mass Effect: Androgynous

7 years ago

The creepy slasher grin makes it look less like a loving gay embrace scene and more like a gay rape and murder scene.

Though given Bioware's goofy dialogue system at times, the player probably pressed the friendly response and suddenly wound up getting fucked by his crew member. Lol.

Mass Effect: Androgynous

7 years ago

Enjoying that the romance element of a game now applies to you? Whhhaa...? How absurd! There's dozens of games with aliens and space shit and all that. One of the reasons Mass Effect stands out is because of its characters and the interactions you can have.

Mass Effect: Androgynous

7 years ago

Well yeah, it's a space fantasy game, but romancing people has always been a thing. Not a consistently good thing, but still a thing. Since not everyone wants depussi, it's only fair that there are usable dicks in the game as well.

Also, what the hell is wrong with Shep in that pic!? He needs his hair follicles to be closer together. He's got goddamn tarantulaface syndrome, just like Micheal Fassbender in the Steve Jobs movie.

Mass Effect: Androgynous

7 years ago

Honestly, RPGs should just stop focusing on the romance shit entirely like it’s something excessively important.

Bioware started their steady decline when they decided to start making their games resemble anime dating sims along with foolishly listening to the lonely idiot plebs on their forums.

Now they're in the unwinnable position of fumbling and juggling in an attempt to appease everyone and drop the ball on everything (It's too gay! It's not gay enough! It's gay but not in the right way! etc.) and the overall work suffers for it.

Mass Effect: Androgynous

7 years ago

The real key is to make all the characters hideous and/or one of 6 racial character models. Nobody was complaining about relationships in Oblivion and Morrowind!  The fact that any of the characters in Skyrim actually weren't creepy-looking was a privilege, let alone the fact that you're now able to have pretend sex with them!

Mass Effect: Androgynous

7 years ago

I just don't see what all the fuss is about. Do you see the amazing reactions and emotions from the character models? This game must be from the future, not 2017. 

Mass Effect: Androgynous

7 years ago

The Suvi romance is endearing and cute. You all have shit-tier waifus you fucking cucks

Mass Effect: Androgynous

7 years ago

Wait a sec. Now I see what's going on here. the second guy, while initially incomprehensible, seems to be pissed because the majority of the character creation thingos don't allow for very attractive women? Granted, they don't allow for very attractive men either. They don't allow for very attractive anyones. No good hair, no good regular colors for hair, (Or supernatural colors, for that matter) no good textures... Hell, there's no really good slider options, so you can't change the bizarre shape of their skulls, which is mainly why they look like ass.

The facial features are befuckled enough, but they really did the best they could with these fucked up proportions that you can't really do anything with. It seems like they really are pulling an Oblivion by making everyone look weird and shitty so nobody ever tries to romance anyone. And, I mean, Shepherd always had some scruff, but the 2-dimensional, stringy/powdery tarantula-ass knots of horror that they dare to call facial hair is goddamn sickening.

Look, I come to videogames partially for escapism, right? Frankly, I don't enjoy living in a world where my lower face is a bald spot. Shepherd could offer some minimal relief for that, pathetic as it was, and as someone who doesn't find most body types present in video games all that interesting to begin with, "Eugh, these ROs are unnattractive!" has been a persistent issue in video games for me since the beginning, so I didn't particularly care or notice the character model thing until I read that post and actually went back to look at the character creation menu a second time.

It's different in games where there are only clean-shaven options, right? Because you at least feel that, even if they don't have one now, the character could grow a beard in the future, and that's enough.  But Ryder (They're actually named Ryder in this game, which I guess should've been warning enough) attempts to grow a beard.

Now, understand this: Ryder grows a beard the same way Florence Foster Jenkins sings. In other words, he fucking can't, but instead of bringing joy to listeners and lightening the spirits of professional Nazi-Slayers, it brings sadness and disgust to all onlookers and intense shame to everyone who owns a Y chromosome.

So I present to you another reason why everyone in this game is so fucking ugly:

Faces as oddly befuckled as the one the female models have are the only ones desperate enough to get within kissing distance of that shameful, emasculating facial fungus, let alone commit the sin of engaging in anything remotely reproductive with someone who owns that kind of facecrap.

Mass Effect: Androgynous

6 years ago
Fantastic article on the production problems of Andromeda, and as a dev, I can say I feel their pain. That said, I do not excuse it either. In other news, apparently they added yet another gay romance path for one of the aliens, I fail to see why they prioritized that over other issues.

Mass Effect: Androgynous

6 years ago
I'm not likely to ever play it, but that was an interesting read. Kind of sucks for the people who did buy it that it's likely to just sit around in limbo and not get a whole lot of support and polish because it didn't get enough sales on account of not getting enough support and polish, but that's the industry for you. At least there will be some DLC (haven't read up on exactly what's planned) but that seems more like a band-aid over some pretty deep issues.

Also I wish developers would just get over this whole procedural generation thing already.

Mass Effect: Androgynous

6 years ago
The sadder tale was Titanfall 2, another EA title, and an exemplary one at that (with fair business practices to boot, shockingly enough). There, the devs actually DID learn from their (notable) failings in the first game and made significant progress in improving the experience, but like Watch Dogs 2, the player base was cautious this time round, and sales tanked. In TF2's case, launching between Battlefield 1 and Call of Duty Infinite Warfare was just plain stupidity.

As for proc. gen, I personally find it interesting if you build that as the core of the game, but otherwise you don't honestly expect a player to explore for 950 hours before continuing the story play. I personally believe bespoke content makes more sense than 'endless replayability.' Tetris has had endless replayability since the 70s, and that didn't exactly stop people from playing other games.

Mass Effect: Androgynous

6 years ago
It's a completely shallow experience. 'Oh look, a mountain! It's shaped slightly differently from the other 3000 I've encountered and the rocks are a different color!' only goes so far as entertainment value.

Mass Effect: Androgynous

6 years ago

Dear BioWare,

Please give back Commander Shepard. We all know he/she's not really dead.

Thanks.

-Tim