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I've got a better idea, it needs criticizing.

7 years ago

So, A person on this website (PcGenie) helped me with an idea for a story that I'm working on, It has more detail than the last one (The Magicians) which I canceled, and I need some criticism to see what you guys think of it. (Notice, this is the idea PcGenie gave me) 

Feel free to give your opinions on this!: 

Once upon a time, a mighty king boasted a grand fortune of such gold, jewels and silks to make any rival jealous enough to kill him, were they not so afraid of his imposing and loyal army consisting of the finest men anybody could muster. However, even these treasures and achievements did not satisfy him, as material wealth and other human notions of accomplishment faded...

One day, a tempting demon approached him and offered something worth all the wealth and beyond, the immortality of the king's memories. Every new king would inherit his memories, the demon advised, preserved for eternity as if they were lived just yesterday. More so, he said, the memories of admiration and aspiration from each new king also remembered so the next may envy him all the more. The rich king gladly accepted, as no scroll or engraved stone could ever preserve his legacy better than the passing on of his very consciousness! The king died happily of old age a few years later, and a successor was crowned. That is when the curse began...

You see, every time a new king was crowned, the memories of the old ones were indeed so well preserved like the demon had promised, but with every fear, vice, regret and even the moment of death vividly remembered, each new king had to bear the burdens of this knowledge while their subjects call them all mad fools for being so preposterous in such an impossible idea. 

(Also, this game is somewhat based off of the game "Reigns")

I've got a better idea, it needs criticizing.

7 years ago
Somewhat based? Isn't that literally the exact premise of Reigns?

I've got a better idea, it needs criticizing.

7 years ago
That's the story of Reigns, as PCGenie kindly selected. Now get off of this thread and start writing, there's nothing more for you here. The quality of the story will be based on how you write, not on how you tell people about your writing. Now, away with you.

I've got a better idea, it needs criticizing.

7 years ago

*Applause*

I've got a better idea, it needs criticizing.

7 years ago
Glad someone said it. I was half expecting to wind up with another Azure situation at this rate.

I'm not really familiar with Reigns, but based on others' reactions, sounds like this plot might need to be put under fanfic.

I've got a better idea, it needs criticizing.

7 years ago

I didn't play much of the game, as much as I remember, that isn't the same story though. Considering I only have 10 minutes on it from September of this year or something, I don't really know. One thing different about it is though you are actually more into the story. In Reigns, you just answer questions, in this story you actually get to know the characters and so on.