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http://chooseyourstory.com/story/experiment-gone-wrong~3f  

Review it. 

Probably won't even click because the last thing they saw was crappy half-baked shit from me and most likely refuse to click on this.

Here is a html link. Cause convenience!

Clicked it and immediately noticed a tense change in the first sentence.

Gah I'll take the blame for that one.

Is this better tense wise? 'Waking up, Ethan feels like trash.'
Or am I just being an idiot and don't recognise what tense 'Waking up' is in?

We all feel like shit when we wake up. Describe it my dear boy, add some thoughts. 

Adding more depth isn't on my 'to do' list at the moment. Mostly rewriting stuff to ensure it is grammatically correct/flows better. I'll also split stuff into more paragraphs out of habit, hopefully don't end up doing that the wrong way tho. >->

But thanks, will note down that more character thoughts should be added when their thinking is being described (in a sense, and for the initial parts at least).

Yes, feels is correct. I'll get to the rest of the storygame when I've got the chance.

Thanks, and because I have to give at least one excuse, the whole thing isn't finished yet (in case you assume it is).

Pretty sure that this post isn't even supposed to be in The Lounge, but sure yeah. Okay, I noticed a mistake on your second link where the game ends immediately. 

Just to check, second link as in second link on the first page? Or second link on the page after the first page?

Mainly I need to make sure it isn't an actual error, but I will say that one of the first links leads to a page with the 'End Game' link. The second page has two links as well, but neither of which should be ending the game straight away tho. I might be looking in the wrong place tho.

Just telling me the page title should be good enough for me figuring out what is wrong tho.

It's an improvement over the one that you published before. 

I just checked. The answer is yes. Apologies for the inconvenience.

EDIT - Site background is Beige? Not sure why I'm asking... as I already know the answer from before.

Well I might as well put a link here (for convenience): Experiment Gone Wrong?

If anyone is up for a challenge, pm me for your instructions. ;)