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Forever is Never

6 years ago

Progress thread for my contest entry, gonna update weekly.

Forever is Never

6 years ago

Dont reply to dis progress post plz

Pages 2/?

Wordcount 149/200,000

Forever is Never

6 years ago

Progress for week one:

Thinking of Idea. Probably will be about robots. Will get some more inspiration.

Forever is Never

6 years ago

200,000, huh? 

Forever is Never

6 years ago

Yeah, that way getting to 100k will be way more easier.

Forever is Never

6 years ago

100,000, huh?

Forever is Never

6 years ago

Yeah, that way getting to 50k will be way more easier.

Forever is Never

6 years ago

Introduction page, feel free to critque

It had been about ten years since the first break through of virtual reality and artificial intelligence. The two were so intertwined in the industry that was entertainment that the combination of both factors increased the speed of which they were being developed and enhanced with each passing year.

While humanity was still trying to understand this new technology, the first pioneers of the new industry were quickly overhauling industries that would benefit from such innovations.

Dating and video game advertisements were popping up almost everywhere, more general uses of A.I such as private service and other types in that field were still being perfected and regulated before they emerged from code and out into the real world.

Taking a closer look into the video game industry, the ever growing company of Vardax was becoming very prominent, in a very short amount of time. The universe that they were proclaiming on creating, would have what any man or woman dreamed of. Knights, space, guns, whatever settings one would want Vardax would create.

Of course there was massive skepticism over all this, how would such a feat be possible? How would they be able to create all this.

It was all layered in secrecy, and most of the gaming community had scoffed off the premise as nothing more than a scam, or some developer that was way over their heads.

Or so was thought, until the creation of Adventum finally came into public release.

Let us begin.

Forever is Never

6 years ago

I would try to weave info like on this first page into something else. It isn't a full on info dump, but I definitely get the feeling of it. My suggestion: Go redo the first page while you're haven't gone too far in, and weave the info throughout the first few pages.

Forever is Never

6 years ago
Agree with Ebon, but would go further. That's a blatant info dump for background info. Start with action.

Forever is Never

6 years ago

After deciding to put this story on hold for the epic contest, I'e decided to do something more slice of life.

I should get a slice of pizza.

So yeah, my third rewrite.

Forever is Never

5 years ago
Oh yeah this was a thing.


One month gone and I’m feeling pretty good about my odds, had one of those red white and blue popsicles today which boosted my morale a bit.

Despite my constant rewritings i plan on going fulll workaholic mode very soon.

Forever is Never

5 years ago
Word count or we all assume you're at zero on story No. 8,762.