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TL;DR: Mizal, Bucky and Ebon are recruiting for their three way with each other.

So far:

Mizal

Chris

Corgi

Digit

Tim

Wibbons

Zag

Bucky

EZ

3iguy

MoreCowbell

Ebon

 

Sign up now to join one of them if you're feeling the slightest bit motivated!

 

RIP Tim and Chris

The dynamic duo split apart by politics

e: or maybe not

What? When did this happen, and why am I with Steve?

Steve said he "claimed" you and Leora.

Feel free to pick another side though. Tim just said he didn't pick Ebon either.

Well, it depends on what this battle is even about. I'm happy to help anyone if my help is, well, helpful. If it has anything to do with writing though, Leo is pretty OP, so team Steve appears to have the best minions at least right now. I'd like to see where May goes. I'll assume you and Buck will stay out of this.

They're just engaging in this three way for the usual things, glory, power, fun, etc.

I figure Bucky will join Mizal.

EDIT: And apparently EVERYONE has joined Mizal.

Well, I'd hate to break the trend!

But as a responsible citizen, I require a proper pitch and campaign promises before I give my official endorsement.

Fuck yeah, he's agreed to it, you all saw it. You're help is helpful, young Wibbons, you're on my side.

Fuck that, Wibbons and Leora are on my side, I told them they don't get a choice.

Apparently I'm so amazing that people flock to my banner even while I'm sound asleep.

There is a war brewing, but you have all chosen wisely.

This is going to be separate from the Crusades thing which is still about winning the featured games list for JESUS, but since the miscellaneous lazy and apathetic fucks not already on board with that have chosen to offer no opposition, the Villains have had to split themselves into opposing teams so that we may have some kind of challenge.

Non Villains are also permitted their own teams of course, but anyone who wishes to apply must either have over 3000 points, or else a featured game, or be able to secure and keep the loyalty of at least two minions / soldiers / whatever you wish to call them throughout the war in order to be considered a worthy foe.

Anyway, we're still working out the details so now on that later.

@Endmaster, can you split the thread at your post, I want to keep this a space for forging beautiful friendships with noobs.

@Zake is a like a beautiful wild stallion running free through a field and somehow I must tame him and win him over to our cause.

I suppose Ebon and Steve still have @Ogre11 and @AzBaz available. Although Ogre is clearly the more competent and useful of the pair and might even wish to claim Az and form his own team.

I don’t care about your make believe bullshit.

And this is why you will never accomplish anything on the site.

My trophy cabinet suggests otherwise, and in 5 years time I will have the biggest story game on the site published.

Yesterday you implied you were into ogres, sexually, and so I really thought I was setting you up with a very compatible partner, and one with a proven track record in the writing and critiquing department. But you have my permission to remain aloof in your corner being too cool for everyone else, if that is really what you desire.

Shut up mum, I can do what I want!

I'm going to assume you are all different orders of crusaders, or something, but to be fair, you are the only one who seems to have a legit following at the moment.

I do wonder what sort of tests will take place to determine the best order tho, as right now I feel it'd just involve standing in a shed not doing anything. As such, I will continue to just run circles in a field, for the time being at least.

I may wind up cutting a couple of my followers loose in the interests of fairness anyhow. The basic idea was 'like the Orders, but better, and with an actual reason to participate' and somehow another Sage situation seems to have been created overnight without any input from me.

Just remember though that while remaining neutral is fine, I'm the only one who ever appreciated and believed in you and/or noticed you exist and so joining one of the enemy teams instead would be a completely thankless task and an act of madness.

If remaining neutral is fine, then I'm gonna do that. No offense, but I have finals and a massive storygame to work on. For the Crusade of course.

I was thinking you and WIBN might wind up forming a team with Mayana as your shared minion. I mean it literally just means that you keep doing what you're doing with everyone's contributions being tallied together, but I can't force people to want to be winners I suppose.

Ah, I see. I was under the impression that I would have to do something. Perhaps I'll rejoin the fray when I have time to figure out what the heck is going on.

Update! MoreCowbell is on Steve's team now to give him personal therapy sessions to help him work through his many issues.

Leora, who joined without knowing what was going on, then quit without knowing what was going on, then crawled back while whining it wasn't her fault, was fired before she could quit again because who needs that kind of negativity and defeatist wishy-washiness. (and she never asked permission before rudely joining my team anyhow! Kids these days.)

Alright I’ll update later when I’m not on crappy phone internets at the moment.

EDIT: Done.

Lady Mizal, Thank you for granting my humble request; although, there will be no therapizing. If anything, I hope to learn a thing or two from Steve. 

Sir Steve, What's up fearless leader?! Let's kick some fucking ass!!

I can tl;dr the lessons you can learn from Steve:

1.) type words. As many words as possible, as fast as possible. Don't ever think, just type.

2.) don't proofread or edit anything, ever

3.) when in doubt, start yelling at someone. Season with slurs to taste.

Think that's pretty much all of them, congratulations, now you're a good writer!

Best of luck to you ^_^

Uh... I didn't join without knowing what was going on, I was claimed without ever being told, so I wasn't given the choice of whether or not to join in the first place. I think my interest in the concept as a whole was mistaken as an attempt to rejoin your team. I still want to remain neutral, but the status update is appreciated.

See you keep claiming this because I guess it's important for you to make people believe it for whatever reason, but I have quotes of you saying you were joining my team. I never asked you to but there you were anyway.

I tried to make the most of things instead of complaining about it because I'm a winner, not a whiner, and I'm happy for you now that you've...taken the moral high ground by rejecting points and fun, I guess, but you can stop pretending to be some sort of helpless victim any time now. We've moved on.

No offense but I mean you're not even a rival at this point (except in the sense you represent apathy, the status quo, and the old, failed Orders that nobody cares about) so you're pretty much beneath my notice completely unless someone else is kind hearted enough to put you on their team again.

@Endmaster Zake chose to remain neutral for now so take him off the list please. I don't think Bucky has made a decision yet either.

Mayana I believe should be listed on my team though, as she is WIBN's minion already.

Ebon is still sad and alone.

I'll join Ebon's team :^)

I approve this pairing.

Does this mean Leora is now on Ebon's team too? This seems like a decision you're qualified to make.

Well Leora is Ford's property so that would be the logical conclusion. 

Yeah that's what I was thinking. Okay, so Ebon and Steve both have teams that belong on a sitcom now, good to see. Now it's just a matter of seeing if anyone starts up a fourth Order, and of course of figuring out what to name them all...

Huge tracts of land.

Okay so in the lack of any opposition or input from the others, I'm making the rules now so I can move on with my day.

The concept is very simple: Orders but better.

You all like to whine about how you'd take more of an interest in competing if the Sages weren't stomping a boot down on your face, forever, so now here's your chance to prove it.

Finally you can all choose your own teams, or even create one. To create your own team, you need only announce your intent once you meet one of the following criteria:

1.) have at least 3000 points
2.) have a featured story
3.) recruit at least two other users. Together, the three of you will technically be considered almost as good as a single competent person.

Victory will be determined at the end of the year. It will be a simple matter of making your case before the admins that your team has contributed more to the site than any other, and that your rivals are hopelessly lazy slackers. The winning team will be awarded fabulous prizes and bragging rights, perhaps even having their extreme usefulness declared in News and Updates, or whatever the admins deem fitting.

Contributions can take any form you like. Storygames, reviews, regular stories, articles, hosting prompt threads, giving advice and critiques...all the usual commendation worthy stuff, from each according to their ability, just this time for a purpose. Shit talking your rivals, motivational and update threads and the like are encouraged but like all forum activity left to the discretion of each team to balance out with actual contribution. (It's also your team's responsibility to track your progress...and that of the enemy if you don't trust them to be honest. But don't put it on the admins to have any idea who the fuck you are or why you matter. )

Anyway, four months have already flown by like nothing and 2019 will be here before any of you know it. Get crackin' people. Steve and Ebon are tough competition all on their own and I'm still in progress on the best story the site has ever seen. Now is not the time for slacking.

Sorely temped to create my own Order with Thara, Breezy and Mynoris.

Gods don't get teams.

I wasn't doing it anyway.

Still, seems like there should be a fourth team since there were 4 original orders.

If no one comes forward on their own I will put up some kind of mass ping list of people who have entered contests this year or something, but, I will do it later.

Ogre could start his own team, he does critiques all the time and was talking about doing writing prompt threads again. There's various semi-regulars he could recruit, even accounting for AzBaz deciding to go be the weird kid sitting in the corner of the playground alone shoving gravel up his nose.

I could start a team with Will11 and this adventure would be over.

Finally, a real challenge. Do it, I fucking dare you to do it.

Under her rules, I'm not allowed a team :(

Y'know the rules are broken when a highly esteemed writer isn't allowed a team but some jerkoff that got a featured story because fanfic needed new ones is.

It's not my fault you have been lazy.

You can make a team if you find at least two recruits. Cowbell and Ogre, for instance.

Or you can join my team. Or Steve's. Steve has no one, isn't that sad?

I'd join your order. You're respectable.

I'll make my own team! With blackjack and hookers!

I'm afraid that unless you can find users named Blackjack and Hookers who agree to this, you're just stuck with me.

Sweet, I'm in!

I guess Ogre is joining Chris' team.

Someone had to do it.

I was going to create two accounts named 'Blackjack' and 'Hookers' but someone took the name Blackjack

And someone took Hookers.

Stop taking all the hookers Steve.

You're not the first man to tell me that, and you sure as shit won't be the last.

Nice.

The rewards should be more defined. Something concrete.

How about, the winning team gets to select (and, thereby, replace) one featured story... for the duration of six months?

Just lol if your team can't manage to write a story good enough for featuring on its own.

You misunderstand me... ANY game can be featured and replace ANY other featured game. The perfect spell for crusading. ;-)

One use only. Six-month duration. (Feel free to modify duration to taste; and, obviously, the whole spell is subject to approval by the gods lest it fails.) 

Cowbell, she's trying to say that the point of this adventure is that teams will already be replacing featured stories and getting featured stories throughout the year!

I misunderstand her. ;o)

I thought that there were recent debates about "who's story would replace who's" and such...

I bet the fear of Steve having such a power would make the rest of us work our asses off.

Foretelling the future (but in the wrong thread). LOL

Well, there is something to be said for "Steve as motivation".

God dammit, how did Leora end up with Ebon? Shit, she might be the worst apprentice I've ever had, and I had fucking Digit. Anyhow, as team captain, I'm kicking Cowbell off my team.

I'm not on Ebon's team. I'm not in this at all.

So much for my gesture of friendship.

You know that means you have absolutely no one on your team, right? Though I'm guessing that's the way you like it...

I wanted Leora and Wibbons, but both rejected my offers or failed to accept it.

I shall join you in your plight, Mistress Mizal.

Ooh I missed this post. Sweet, I have the whole set!

@Endmaster, Tim is also on my team.

@EndMaster, I am not involved in this and am perfectly capable of making my own decisions. Please remove me from the list.

She is doing swears in the Discord, I think she means it! End I will have you know she is NOT anyone's property and she is getting quite tired of this!

cys womens suffrage thread when

I will grow up to be the first woman admin and give us the vote.

Well, I'll give me the vote.

thought madglee was the first woman admin

killa is a close second given his catgirl alterego

It occurs to me that it was actually someone more recent, BUT, I'm not supposed to talk about that.

Lol.

Oh

This is a thing I guess

Go review a story Tim. At the end of the year I will talk up your accomplishment and make it into a feat of legend.

Well I guess I'm on your team because I'm addicted to videogames

You are on my team because Chris and Zag are on my team and how could you abandon them?

I mean they're their own peeps so who am I to choose who they represent

But since I'm pretty much honor-bound to support whatever endeavors you may face, it's a plus.

Indeed, Tim. And so is gas.

And like gas, this too shall pass...

Jumpin’ Jack Flash, it’s a gas, gas, gas!

I was born in a crossfire hurricane.

What is this about, now? Did I miss something?

Nothing to see here, move along.

No, I must learn...I must...

contribute

Pick a team and contribute away, then!

Is it a mass collaboration thing?

It's a mass something...

I think it's just groups of people ganging up to attempt to make the most contributions in the year in various forms...but mizal may have more, this is kind of her thing.

Jesus Christ. 

@mizal , do you mind giving a detailed explanation of what in the everloving world is going on?

It’s in the thread.

Ah, deepest apologies. I’ve been berating Wizzy for his dim-witted remarks. Excuse me while I fetch a cup of tea to soothe my anger.

Well berating Wizzy for being an idiot is certainly a good start on being a contributing member.

Ah, then I believe I have already begun my victory lap.

Scroll around til you find the post with bolded words.

Ignore everything else, this is still on no matter how many spineless, spiteful cretins strewn limp and unmoving across our path we have to crush underfoot on our way to victory.

Never in my life have I seen so many worthless sacks of shit completely fuck up something so simple. For a short time there I'd even managed to forget why I hated everyone on this site so much and even started having occasional kindly thoughts, but now I remember. Holy hell, do I ever. Never again will I be so weak and foolish.

Ah yess, this is the best version of mizal that there is and the one I fell in love with. 

I'm going to join Steve's team, because he seems to be a lonely fuck rn. 

Well, this has devolved into Mizal leading the site against everyone else. I'm going to disband my team, I don't like it and I don't like the idea of having people on it for any reason out of blind loyalty. 

Ebon was begging me to be on his team and Mizal thinks I should be on hers because I "belong" to Wibn. Screw you all, I'm going to Steve's team. Or even better, just remove me from this, I couldn't care less.
Edit: Oh, just noticed Steve no longer wants to have a team, so balls, I won't be in anyone's team then.

@WouldntItBeNice Behold the loyalty of your proofreader.

I'd rather have a proofreader who's proofing because she (sorta) wants to instead of forcing her to. Plus, Maya belongs to herself. :)

I can train you, grasshopper.

I'd like to switch to team Leora

Well so much for you lot and your big ideas, the only team that exists now is Mizal's mainly because people don't like Steve or if for some insane reason they do, he doesn't like them and has just disbanded altogether.

And Ebon turned out to have a 3 in charisma and just failed in general.

I mean I suppose Leora's team can stay up for now, but it's more of a joke team since Az is on it and Ford is just Leora's property and just there as decoration.

Not to mention Leora's probably going to complain again and it'll get taken off anyway.

Hey, my version of this involved safeguards to prevent monopolization. It's not my fault everyone blew their loads in getting this up and running before we thought it through.

You can be my second. The Irish are renowned scrappers.

You don't have a team, for some reason I wasn't paying enough attention to hear.

I am always on my own team. Therefore, I always have a team.

According to the list you're on Mizal's team.

That's because you're an oppressive overlord that just puts people on lists! ^_^

I told him you hadn't officially made a decision yet. But tbf unless you were going to join team Ogre-Will (which hopefully may still come into being!) it seemed unlikely you would want to prop up Ebon or have anything at all to do with Steve.

I was open to the idea of solid team members like Chris or Wibn or even Bucky starting or joining spin off groups in the name of balance, and was perfectly happy to distribute my team around to those who were lacking. It's not my fault you fired Cowbell and Leora and Mayana (and finally you) decided to be useless non-contributing cunts.

I guess I'll just have to accept that my team will be contributing lots of quality reviews and content to the site without any real challengers then, although that's less fun.

We still get the points at the end of the year right? And I suppose there's still that possibility Ogre and Will might step up so we might have our work cut out for us yet.

The rest of you though, I don't know what to say. I don't even know how most of you even find the will to get out of bed in the morning knowing that you might be expected to spend maybe thirty minutes a week reading and reviewing a story and that's just sooooo haaaard, and also of course just lol at the ones actually getting mad at the idea of contributing to the site in even the most minor way and winning prizes for it. It's so transparently clear there's nothing fueling that but edgy contrarianism. You've gained nothing, contributed nothing, and will be losing much, but congrats on being too cool for teamwork I guess.

You were all put on a team against your will, they're called the Orders and since you all decided to make those boring I guess I shouldn't be surprised at those of you opting to do the same thing once again.

Anyway I'm pretty disgusted and disappointed with all of you but I suppose this is how it's always been. Really I have no one to blame but myself for hoping even for instant that any of the joyless apathetic slugs that make up the majority of this site would be willing to do good and fun things, or do anything at all, let alone band together for a common cause for the betterment of all.

So now we are all left to wonder if mizal will soon pit her minions against one another for her own entertainment...

Given how things have been going, I predict I will keep trying to spread them around or spin them off into their own teams only to have my attempts pointlessly sabotaged at every turn for no real reason.

The GOAT orders is actually randomized unlike this cum drinking glorified popularity contest. Just take your orders and accept what you're given you fat crying pussies. Hang your heads in dejected shame and then cleanse and purify yourselves in the waters of the great Lake Minnetonka until further notice.

I fucking hate you faggots, goddam, lemme tell you... Eat your apples, take a shower, work out, clear your minds and then bask in some sunlight. That's all the tips for now. 

You seem rather upset. CYS has a storied history of popularity and combat contests. I still remember all the hoopla around White Sail.

I still remember the weird mustache vs. penguin wars and the even weirder spork vs. strawberry pudding fuckery.

Ah, the strawberry pudding...dangerous times. Dangerous times, indeed.

I'd say a spork is far more dangerous than strawberry pudding :D

I know, and thus this gimmick is reaching it's natural end as I'm left wondering if the CYS elections were saved for future viewings with popcorn. 

WHITE SAIL

If we do all those things the site dies and then you will have no faggots to hate.

None of you dipshit children are capable of following a thought to its conclusion without an adult taking you by the hand and walking you through it I fucking swear.

Alright, we'll try this again...

I can offer my compatriots advice of respectable quality.

I will join Bucky's roster.

Okay, Bucky has 3iguy and EZ. Together I'm sure they can... well, maybe Ogre can still join. Either way this shit never stopped being on but now the Children's Crusade has an official enemy.

This would be a cool idea and could work real well. people will take it too seriously though, probably.

Maybe if there was a way of re-randomizing the Orders, like every season or.something.

ThreeJay is currently MIA.

Oh shit, yeah. That sucks.

I loved his hermetic story, even though it's not my jam.

@MoreCowbell

Join us, bro!

Yeah, bro. Count me in!
But stop pissing off End or we are both completely fucked. :(

Bucky's proven hihiss thick skin, cleverness, entertaining personality, and not-a-toolness repeatedly.