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Sitting on our arses for BLM!

3 years ago

Who wants to march around the streets getting pepper sprayed by police and probably infected by gross, sweaty protestors, when you can support black people by sitting on your arse and playing your massive BLM bundle of itch games? ^_^

The first game I've been playing is this adorable little point and click adventure called "Old Man's Journey."

It's super, super cute. Just a really relaxing little game about an old man taking a trip down memory lane. Not gotten very far yet, but already it's giving me feels. (It's like doing a playthrough of the first 10 minutes of Up.) ^_^

Sitting on our arses for BLM!

3 years ago
Thank you Briar, I knew if I sat on my ass long enough (ASS btw, it's spelled ASS) someone would make this thread for me.

Sitting on our arses for BLM!

3 years ago

Yes, but arse is spelled arse. (It's like ass, only more British.)

Sitting on our arses for BLM!

3 years ago
I've tried to say it that way but it just feels wrong, the word tries to actively force me into an accent I don't have, it's really bizarre.

@Chanbot I know you've played a few of these already, which ones have you liked and can you describe them a little?

Sitting on our arses for BLM!

3 years ago
yeah I did in the discord :^)

Sitting on our arses for BLM!

3 years ago
Ugh, fine.
I think I'll start with super hexagon oh my god it's so difficult this is amazing haha the first level starts on hard I can't even get past it lol I'm sat up in my seat not blinking in focus and I still can't. it's all mindless reflexes pb on first level of super hexagon is 18 seconds. time to move on
playing OneShot. sidescroller rpg that, despite it being noting alike, reminds me of momodora interesting story. good art. puzzley but not annoying puzzles(edited)
playing anodyne next also pixely I didn't know what was going on before and I still don't oh fuck I have to save and protect briar cause some guy wants her power oh I'm playing zelda it's a take on the classic zelda game caves and sword mechanics included the setting / world is utterly unique and the story is almost nonexistant but it's a great nostalgia bite for zelda with a modern twist
alright I'll play one more then go to bed nullpointer right off the bat looks like skybreak and sounds like hotline miami and looks like ancient 3D tron-ized doom oh fuck it's doom and also when I die it just says FUCK in big red letters lol
alright it was good fun. I lied and started playing Sagebrush which so far has me hooked on a plot I don't even know yet. it's a pixelated version of a place irl where mass suicide happened. very creepy. very realistic. I have a feeling a lot of the stuff in interacting with in this game as I search through this abandoned ranch in new mexico is there in real life. notes from people and audio tapes from a survivor(?) yo this is creepy as fuck like exploring an actual mass suicide site that's been abandoned this sagebrush game is really atmospheric horror like nothing has happened all game but it's just been slowly getting darker from sunset on since I've been investigating this mass suicide site it's not good for my health to be in a dark place in game unprepared for a jump scare however the game seems classy enough to not emplore such tactics alright sagebrush was dope. very good towards the end.
milkmaid of the milkway was fun and had interesting prose very nice artsy stuff albiet I wish the game was longer or at least had an epilogue it's a puzzley type narrative adventure thing
(it's a point and click adventure and I disagree about the prose, the gimmick is rhyming couplets as narration and what I saw of it was painfully clunky and bad. The art is very nice though and the whole point and click genre is something very nostalgic for me.)

Sitting on our arses for BLM!

3 years ago

In Bauldur's Gate 1 there was an innkeeper in Candlekeep that kept saying "My 'otel's as clean as an elven arse."

Sitting on our arses for BLM!

3 years ago

Are elven arses particularly clean?

Sitting on our arses for BLM!

3 years ago

I would imagine it would really depend on the type of elf though one could assume that they're plobably cleaner than the average human's due to diet.

Still, an asshole is an asshole, and maybe the joke was it doesn't matter HOW clean it is, there is always going to be some filth. (Just like the Innkeeper's hotel)

Sitting on our arses for BLM!

3 years ago
2020 the year of everything gets worse has now provided its answer to 2019's hip debate I see.

Sitting on our arses for BLM!

3 years ago
After the serious and important arse/ass conversation comes this reserved post where I'll link whatever's identified as the best games along with whatever pitch you people give for them.

If you guys are including screenshots, remember 650 width is really all about the forum can handle so make sure to resize. Or if you're using HTML you can insert this into your image tag:

style="max-width: 100%;"

(right after the url and second quotation mark)

Sitting on our arses for BLM!

3 years ago
Pyre is also pretty amazing, its a sports/fighting story driven game with AA polish (made by Supergiants who made Bastion, Transistor and Hades). I played it on Steam, the story is great and you can have a bunch of characters. There is no game over screen and each victory/loss carries over. I would say its the best game in the entire bundle.

Sitting on our arses for BLM!

3 years ago
I hadn't heard of this one until everyboy started gushing about it being in the sale, but it's been on my list just for being by the Bastion guys.

Sitting on our arses for BLM!

3 years ago

I started playing Celeste. That game is so hard, but an incredibly satisfying platformer. I also have been playing a bit of MidBoss to satisfy my Roguelike cravings. 

Sitting on our arses for BLM!

3 years ago

Just finished playing Old Man's Journey and... Ouch! My feels! It got me! :'(

Highly, highly recommend. Such a lovely, relaxing games. Probably one of the prettiest games to look at I've ever seen. Can easily be played in just one or two sittings (assuming the high graphics don't make the game crash all the time like mine did. Definitely recommend playing on the lowest graphic setting.)

Sitting on our arses for BLM!

3 years ago
That one's on my short list to check out, I've heard good things.

Sitting on our arses for BLM!

3 years ago

Just finished playing this one, and considering it's called "One Night Stand", this game is surprisingly wholesome. The pastel colours and the way the objects all sort of blend into each other really add to the casual feel of the game, and I really appreciate the fact that they took the time to animate it when they could've just used stills like your run of the mill "dating game". Worth a play through since you can find all of the endings within a couple of hours (though you may have to use a walkthrough for some.) All in all, pretty cute. ^_^

Sitting on our arses for BLM!

3 years ago

Also, found a fun review for the game! ^_^

"I am probably older than most of the people who will play this game. I have seen and lived in the real world. I have experienced many of these situations in my life. I can tell you for a fact all the outcomes come out all wrong. This must have been written by a jaded, ugly girl who has no context of the real world. Epic fail! And yeah... after only .6 hours of the game I have seen most of the outcomes. The game does not provide value equal to the costs."

Sitting on our arses for BLM!

3 years ago
> jaded, ugly girl who has no context of the real world Someone who makes indie visual novels, yes. I'm not sure what their point was.

Sitting on our arses for BLM!

3 years ago

Well, you see, because she's just a jaded, ugly girl who has no context of the real world, she's sadly not yet aware that ALL MEN ARE SCUM!!!

Sitting on our arses for BLM!

3 years ago

Just finished my second playthrough of this:

Far From Noise. Plot summary: You are in your car dangling off the edge of a cliff... ... ... That's it. That's litterally the entire game... And it's AMAZING! ^_^

Visually, Old Man's Journey is by far the prettiest, but the narrative in Far From Noise is just beautiful! There's surprisingly a lot you can do whilst trapped in your care dangling off the edge of a cliff. You can watch the sun set, have a chat with a friendly deer, make out constalations in the stars, brave a massive lightning storm, observe the local wildlife, contemplate your life choices and eventually plumment to your death... Or not. There's multiple different endings and events depending on the choices you make throughout the game.

But yeah, I really enjoyed this one. Possibly even more than Old Man's Journey. You can complete the game in a single sitting, but replay value is good, so I definitely recommend. ^_^

Sitting on our arses for BLM!

3 years ago
This looks neat. In fact I wanted to pick one of these to do an LP of for a group into puzzly text games and maybe this will be it. The structure sounds a lot like a one room IF game what with all the interacting with random things in a small space with lots of depth.

Sitting on our arses for BLM!

3 years ago

Sorry, not a puzzly game and you don't actually interact with lots of things. All you have is dialogue options... You'd think there'd only be so much dialogue you can get in a game where it's just a guy alone in his car, but you'd be surprisingly wrong. :p

Sitting on our arses for BLM!

3 years ago

Just finished this game.

I'll be honest, when I read about it, I was super hyped. You find someone's lost phone but you have no credit to call or text anyone. You must go through the person's phone to try and find some way to contact them... But the more you look into this person's life, you more you start to find out about them, and you start to realize that when you picked up the lost phone, you might have gotten more than you bargained for!

What mysteries are there to uncover? What skeletons does the owner have locked in the closet? What dark secrets does the owner have, and by the end of it, will you wish you'd never found the phone at all?

... Spoilers... They're trans... ... ... Yep. That's it. That's the big, dark, horrifying secret. The person who owns the phone is trans... That's literally it.

I don't know, I really liked the concept of the game, and maybe I wouldn't have been so disappointed if I hadn't gotten my hopes up for a great big mystery to solve.. But yeah, I went in expecting to be this sneaky, sneaky sleuth solving scary, spooky mysteries, and instead I was just some massive creep invading some poor trannies privacy and hacking into all of their personal accounts for shits and giggles. :p

Sitting on our arses for BLM!

3 years ago
Well that's disappointing, I'd noticed that one when browsing. I've seen a few of these 'lost phone' games and they're usually about a kidnapping or murder or some kind of intrigue. I guess it really was just a completely normal lost phone and you're playing a completely normal nosy busybody. Appreciate you going through these so quickly btw. I've just been too braindead to even play games the last couple days.

Sitting on our arses for BLM!

3 years ago

To be fair, most of the games I've downloaded seem to have a playthrough time of about an hour. :p

Sitting on our arses for BLM!

3 years ago

They could have at least made it a killer tranny like in Sleepaway Camp.

Sitting on our arses for BLM!

3 years ago

I liked the idea for that one, but I couldn't get past the first 30 minutes.  I bounced right off it.  I didn't care for the writing or the would-be puzzles.  Oh well.

Sitting on our arses for BLM!

3 years ago

Yeah, reading through about 100 happy birthday messages at the beginning was not worth the effort. When I got to that one random girl who said something like. "You're a terrible person. Stay away from me, or I'll tell everyone your dirty little secret!" I was like, "Awh! This is getting interesting!" ... Turns out she was just from the Westboro Baptist Church. :p

Sitting on our arses for BLM!

3 years ago

Well, they did say it was a "normal" lost phone. Nothing normal is ever interesting.

Sitting on our arses for BLM!

3 years ago

Finished another one! (God, at the rate I'm going, I'll have played the whole bundle by the end of the week.)

After spending about an hour hacking into that poor trans guy's personal accounts, I was very happy to find this little gem.

The Search is exactly what I was looking for, a nice, old fashioned, point and click puzzle solving game. You are an artist, stuck in a dream world, and the only way to escape is to paint your way through it. Come to a broken bridge? Just paint a new bridge! The gate is locked? Just paint it open! Solve lots of puzzles and escape the wasteland.

Really, really liked it. Very pretty game. Puzzles weren't as difficult as I would've liked, but still pretty enjoyable. I'd say the only downside is that the game is pretty heavily focused on philosphy, and every time you find a new object, the protagonist will go on some long philosophical rant. Like... "Oh look, I found a cookie. Carl Jung once said, "The cookie is the gateway to the soul. What is life without the crumbly sweetness that is the humble cookie? The chocolate chips represent the blackness that is our sinful nature, and the biscuit represents the purity of our true nature. To find true balance, we must not despise our sinful nature, but accept it as part of our true nature. Only then will the sweet, crumbly biscuit and the delicious chocolate chips blend together in a perfect harmony that opens out mind to the..." Stop sucking Carl Jung's dick and get back to the game! >.<

Sitting on our arses for BLM!

3 years ago
*starves to death while gazing intently at the cookie in my hand*

Sitting on our arses for BLM!

3 years ago
So it turns out there's an entire reddit for people attempting this same task of pearl diving through this bundle.

https://www.reddit.com/r/itchioJusticeBundle/

Don't really have time to browse around but I'm sure there's more suggestions in there.

Sitting on our arses for BLM!

3 years ago

Finished yet another game!

Now this game was exactly what I was looking for. A proper detective game with lots of puzzles to solve. Lots of fun. At first I really couldn't stand the ugly, ugly art style, but after awhile it started to grow on me. (Kind of reminds me of Gorillaz.)

Got to say, the first playthrough was extremely frustrating. Basically, after hiring a group of detectives to solve my parents murder, I ended up doing all the work myself and also spent 90% of the time just trying to get the detectives to do their jobs. They came up with some really stupid theory that made absolutely no sense. I spent half the game trying to convince them they were wrong, but even when I was absolutely sure that I'd done everything right, they still didn't believe me and the wrong person got blamed for the murder. It was super annoying because I had absolutely no idea where I went wrong. But then I did my second playthrough, and... Lets just say it made a lot more sense and the ending was much more satisfying. ^_^

Sitting on our arses for BLM!

3 years ago
Is it one of those things where you get more/different plot from a New Game+?

Sitting on our arses for BLM!

3 years ago

Yeah. You have to do like, at least 6 playthroughs and then you can get one of the two "True Endings". Plus there's a "Special Secret" that you can find on one of the playthroughs. (Unfortunately, I think there might be some kind of bug, because I can't unlock the second "True Ending" :(

Sitting on our arses for BLM!

3 years ago

> Yeah. You have to do like, at least 6 playthroughs and then you can get one of the two "True Endings".

I just hate that in games.  There's too many games to have to do six playthroughs before I have the option to play the actually good playthrough.

Sitting on our arses for BLM!

3 years ago
If it's a well done true ending then its more a culmination of all the other endings rather than just "The best ending", so you can't really let it be the first possible one they can get.

Sitting on our arses for BLM!

3 years ago

... Well, that was disappointing. I was really enjoying that. (To be fair, it does say "Demo" in big capital letters on the main menu page. You'd think I would've noticed that. :p)

Sitting on our arses for BLM!

3 years ago
Commended by BerkaZerka on 6/25/2020 12:31:29 PM
So I just started a new game of Overland and realized the starting character is randomly provided by the game. Now I feel silly but also sad that my girl Randi didn't make it and no other version of her may ever exist for a doever. Everthing was going so well for the party. A guy named Chance had joined at the beginning of the game, and he and Randi had adopted two dogs in their travels. They were a sweet little family. Everyone made it to the mountains with little difficulty, but about midway through the grasslands things started getting...stranger. Aliens began taking on new and alarming forms, there was strange flora growing from between the cracks in the streets, once the shadow of something massive with many legs flew across the map and from the distance would drift eerie sounds. The very ground became unstable and small earthquakes and sinkholes were frequent. Abandoned cars were strangled by unearthly plant-life, and sometimes boulders began to...float? And then it all went wrong all at once. Chance and one of the dogs, Castro, left the car to check some shipping containers for loot, and through tragic mishap were both annihilated at once by some sort of alien teleportation zone they stumbled into. Randi was distraught about Castro, just couldn't stop talking about his loss. And although she didn't say so, she was sad about Chance too, presumably. If nothing else the loss of a second person to fuel and start the car made the situation difficult. But there was no choice but to drive on into the unknown alone. Why was she headed for the west coast in the first place? The east had been freer of alien influence and much more survivable. Her motives were never explained to me. But, whatever quest this was, it was obviously important. Neither she nor Chance had ever even considered turning back. Randi was still accompanied by the first dog, Steve, but he was injured and couldn't hobble far from the van. Shortly after the sweet pimped out van had to be abandoned for a much less satisfactory truck, just due to the infeasability of clearing a roadblock before the ever increasing swarms of aliens advanced. Scavenging for supplies became a real struggle, there were just too many aliens moving in on Randi as the only target and if she wasn't quick and careful they could easily block her access to the truck. The future looked bleak. Then they ran out of fuel. It was a dark, lonely road. One alien was visible blocking it; seemingly docile but she knew nothing about these newer varieties for sure. And it would present a problem to drive around either way. Provided she could even find a can of gas or an abandoned car to siphon anywhere nearby. Sounds of rustling, scurrying, and of alien appendages scuffling at dirt carried far in the midnight air. Only a narrow strip of road was lit by the truck's headlights, just enough for Randi to make out glimpses of insectile limbs and quivering tendrils closing in. Somewhere behind the truck, to her right, something came crashing out onto the road and stalking rapidly up alongside them on long legs. Randi got out of the truck. She had no choice. She had to find fuel or at least a way to escape this area on foot. Randi's story ends here. Her last thought was the hope that the injured pooch still in the truck might somehow escape, but limping along the gauntlet of monsters lining the road was a feat no one could have done even if completely healthy. And in the stony fields on either side, more were digging their way up to the surface. The aliens had completely cut off this road. This was a dead end in every sense and certain doom to any traveler. The next east coast survivor to suddenly get in in their head to go west would have to find a different route...

Sitting on our arses for BLM!

3 years ago

F :'(

Sitting on our arses for BLM!

3 years ago
Glittermitten Grove looks like the gayest thing in the history of humanity.
Ahoy, a-hey, o loddi-doddi day, fair traveller and welcome to Glittermitten Grove! Here you will find a land of enchantment, whimsy, and resource management. Sow the fields with magic seeds, pick berries from the plentiful boughs of our sugar fern trees, and collect sparkles from the resplendent rays of our sun-kissed thicket to help us prepare for the long winter ahead. Come join us in our faerieland, full of strange adventure! Features: Sow the fields with special seeds Pick berries for your winter needs Collect sparkles to light up the night Light fribblesham fireworks for happy delight
...I think I might like it.

Sitting on our arses for BLM!

3 years ago
I wanna play the gay fairy game! ^_^

Sitting on our arses for BLM!

3 years ago

Gay Terraria appeals to the homosexual fantasy to start colorful nature retreats. 

Sitting on our arses for BLM!

3 years ago
Man, fairies have much tougher lives than I ever imagined. One thing you learn right away is that you absolutely cannot build your little fairy houses on the ground. All buildings go in TREES ONLY. I'm not sure whether there's a fay HOA enforcing that, or if the idea is that I'm supposed to imagine there are wild animals which aren't actually represented in the game or what. There's no threats or combat or anything, it's all straightforward resource management and expansion. You set tasks and available fairies do them as soon as they can. But you can't just have your fairies chop some wood and slap a bunch of cottages onto whatever trees they haven't murdered yet. Only certain kinds of trees are acceptable to fairies. You have to cast grow magic on the tree as a whole or specific sections they're building on to withstand the weight of the structures, unless you want whole limbs to snap and send everything crashing to the forest floor. Sunlight is another thing you really have to fight for. If you think it's weird fairies are cutting down trees, well, those trees are dicks that will rapidly outpace the trees you're using and cut off their light supply so that they starve. Fuck those trees. You have to hang some other magic orb things from your branches just to clear the fog in its range and expand which is another thing that slows you down. Getting those coveted sunbeams so that you can hang crystal disco balls in their path and convert them to sparkles is incredibly important. Sparkles are resource you use to cast all the spells and you need it in increasing quantities to clear the fog. Fairies all have sickeningly cute names like Ocean Warmglow and Lyra Peaceberry, and I never quite figured out their moods except that there seem to be a variety, in a range from Happy to Stressed with things like Hopeful, Outwardly Happy, and Not Mad, Just Disappointed, depending on how badly you're screwing up providing their basic housing and hunger needs. There's not really much direct interaction you can do with them and anyhow, the unfaithful little tinkerthots will all sparkle away once winter catches you unaware and you run out of food. They can't die or anything, and the second to last one to leave always comes back after a bit with food she finds, really leaving me to wonder why she hadn't just done that in the first damn place. You can't do any pruning or planting of trees in the winter, but that's where the firework spells come in. For only a very modest amount of sparkles you can design 'fireworks spells' which, cutesy names aside, are frighteningly destructive missiles that you can design the explosion pattern of and aim at whatever patch of dirt you want to obliterate. This is how you get crystals and treasure chests, which was my main activity during the winters. Because that's all there was to do besides read the notification spam of starving fairies clearing out. All in all I played about 2-3 hours, covering three in game years. (And there's this amazing explosion of butterflies all over the screen every Spring.) I didn't fully expand but it's not an especially large map, and there's no tech tree or anything. So unless there's something to extend gameplay hidden deeper underground, I think I've seen most of the game. I might go back soon and try to design the initial village more efficiently and see how many fairies I can wind up supporting and how quickly, but that's all just for my personal satisfaction. There doesn't seem to be any way to actually lose this game. Considering how much it streamlines and simplifies all the usual city builder things, there's still quite a bit to mess around with. Actually expanding past a certain point has some challenge to it if you don't plan ahead. You want to put more houses up so you grow that tree bigger, only it's moved your strategically placed disco balls to somewhere they can no longer get sunbeams, while whoops you just killed off half your food supply by putting the fruit tree in shade. Although I'm sure there's some min maxing munchkin strategy involving these tree varieties I was finding seeds for but didn't have room to plant without disrupting the trees I already had built up. Would recommend if you like chill low stakes building games, sparkly magical fairies, or being gay.

Sitting on our arses for BLM!

3 years ago
I haven't slept in more than 50 hours, nfi why I wrote all that instead of fixing this problem. Or why I'm writing this.

Sitting on our arses for BLM!

3 years ago
You need sleep :(

Sitting on our arses for BLM!

3 years ago
Yeah I know you're really there like 'pfft, 50 hours is nothing' but I'm fine, I did sleep awhile eventually.

I just have a really stupid work schedule right now so decided this was a good time to experiment with energy drinks for the first time ever. But the last one I'd had was at 9am and REALLY should have worn off by 9pm, except it had left some light switches on in my brain apparently.

Sitting on our arses for BLM!

3 years ago
Magic, fairy disco ball light switches! ^_^

Sitting on our arses for BLM!

3 years ago
I like all three of those things. ^_^

Sitting on our arses for BLM!

3 years ago

Im sitting on my ass

Doing nothing

Except being an arse

Sitting on our arses for BLM!

3 years ago
And getting cucked by Cricket. ^_^

Sitting on our arses for BLM!

3 years ago

:)

Sitting on our arses for BLM!

3 years ago
Anyone come across any decent RPGs yet?

Proper ones, ideally. None of that weeb stuff.

Sitting on our arses for BLM!

3 years ago

I havent had time to check out a majority of the bundle, but I'm gonna suggest Jimmy and the Pulsating Mass. My sister has been giving me the play-by-play. It's one of those Earthbound inspired games, apparently the writing is really great. 

I already mentioned Days Long Gone on te server. The gameplay is quite nice.

Juuuust guessing, but i think Crystal Story is there as well? If it is, HUGE suggestion. Mother 3, Link's Awakening and flamey flames all in one. Please check it out. Unless it's not in the bundle, hehe.

EDIT: it is!! https://itch.io/queue/c/920065/blm-bundle-to-play?game_id=512214

Sitting on our arses for BLM!

3 years ago
I've heard of JatPM, but it always sounded so quirky. I'll get that one and Crystal Story downloaded anyway, although on second thought I'm gonna wait to actually start an RPG until I have some idea of what my schedule's gonna be next week.

Sitting on our arses for BLM!

3 years ago
Catacombs 1 Demon War is a decent attempt at a Diablo-style game. A bit clunky controls, but at least it's all point and click.

Knights of the card table is a decent time waster. It gets more interesting as you go, but begins to drag. I've been plinking away at it day to day.

Chook & Sasig Walk the Plank is cute. Finished it. Long ass load times though.

Sitting on our arses for BLM!

3 years ago
On second second thought, maybe I should just replay Diablo 2. It's been a long time. Just gotta go get my disk, type in the code, figure out how to get it working on Windows 10, and you know on first third thought, I may just take a nap instead.

Sitting on our arses for BLM!

3 years ago

Just finished another one. ^_^

Winterlore is very much a point and click escape the room game. In terms of difficulty and puzzles, it's the same as any run of the mill escape the room game, but in terms of story and atmosphere, it's much better. You're not just escaping the room for the sake of escaping the room. There is an element of story and mystery behind it, and you seem to learn a little bit more about the story as you progress. That said, while I really enjoyed the game, the ending was very much a "WTF just happened?" situation, left with a "To be continued" that I highly doubt will ever be continued. Definitely worth a playthrough if you enjoy that sort of game, but not really a whole lot to it.

Sitting on our arses for BLM!

3 years ago
So after getting all these games I had no desire to even look at this year's Steam sale, and kind of just snorted a little when I noticed later thaht itch itself had even bothered to put up some kind of extremely lackluster summer bundle. (Like half the games had been in the BLM one just a week before...) I wonder if the huge popularity of this one is coming back to bite them or if any of the devs regret selling DRM free copies of their games for one third of a penny...