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RPG stories, by Green

2 years ago
Hey: I’m green! I’m pretty active on the discord and creative corner but I don’t really post too much anywhere else. I love tabletop rpgs so I thought I’d make a thread here to speak about my experiences with them. Below will be tales from my current campaigns and also horror stories: if you have any fun pen and paper RPG stories feel free to share them here.

Here’s some fun pictures of models I’ve painted:
https://docs.google.com/document/d/1FRscTWd-QbvDUzLYFWSsSdkPHDFLFD909Llxu5W4B88

My horror stories:
Ahh there are quite a few of these, I’ll go with the few most prominent ones because they’re the most interesting (the others are just a bit boring, and generally deal with new players not knowing quite how to play). For reference: I am really fucking deaf. I cannot hear at all, but I can lipread. Thus most of my sessions take place using sign language and I’ve run one or two games with talking (as my speech is slow and quite slurred).

My worst horror story took place two years ago, when I was sixteen. I’d played dnd with a group for a while and wanted to try my hand at being the dungeon master. While I wasn’t good at it at the time and was rather shy, I enjoyed making the world and doing roleplay with my friends. Therefore I decided to try and organise a game with people I didn’t know in my local deaf community. I’ll be calling the players red, pink and yellow for reference. Red was a super sweet deaf old man who was yellow’s, a young boy who knew sign language, father. They played a father and son duo in the game and it was super sweet. Pink is the problem player. Pink was a tyfling warlock (can you see where this is going?) that had every cliche imaginable. She constantly interrupted me when I was trying to speak, was on her phone till combat, constantly told people their roleplay was bad, spoke down to me and claimed her other DMS were better (I was 3 years younger than her at the time). I eventually spoke to her outside the group, which resulted in her trying to murder hobo her way through the campaign. Anyway, I eventually kicked her ass out and moved the father and son duo to a better game with more positive players. I heard recently she tried to run a pathfinder campaign which went awfully, with players dropping out because of poor quality.

My second story isn’t directly related to dnd but is adjacent. Basically one player’s girlfriend WOULD NOT LEAVE HIM ALONE. Ever. She’d call him every five minutes of the session, demand pictures of who he was with ect ect. Eventually we invited her to the session so she’d stop. Bad move. Basically she demanded an in game relationship with her partner and tried to describe flirting between them, which made everyone uncomfortable and is the reason I don’t do romance in my games anymore. Eventually she moved away after they broke up, but it was a weird few weeks.

Third and final horror story to kick start this thread: that time someone confused role playing for reality. Essentially a player (male) was really, aggressively into one female NPC that travelled with the party for a while. She was pretty timid, but I am not currently (confidence has come easily to me because I’ve realised I’m incredibly sexy). Anyway, he asked me out. I said yes because I am a people pleaser. We lasted one date before I realised he wasn’t into me. He was into the NPC. He wanted to date the NPC I was playing. Obviously I avoided him from then on.

My current campaign:
The party found themselves on the inside of an empty room, with dwarven footsteps leading to the outside. After talking and introducing themselves to one another, the group travelled out into what they quickly found to be a dungeon. A dragon inhabited the area, snatching up those creatures that made a sound, and the party stealthily made their way around the dungeon depths. Time passed. They found a healing pool and several shrines to various gods, as well as an elemental puzzle.

After interrogating a dwarf and the necromancer gaining a zombie servant, the group made their way out of the building: falling into a ditch below. They were confronted with a choice. Should they travel to a smaller town close by, or a larger one much further away?
Deciding on the smaller town, the group soon found it was inhabited by a group of anti magic users known as the ‘followers of Imarnn’. Following the group down into the sewers, they saw a ritual take place where Imarnn took a pyromancer’s magic from him. The crowd cheered as the party watched those magic users on stage be stripped of their powers...

Meanwhile, while the rest of the party found themselves in the crowd, two members began in a very different location. Finding his friend captured, a Geomancer searched various bars in the city. Directed to the local league headquarters, he found four sheets of paper stapled to the wall nearby: these appeared to be posters to an anti magic rally, but when turned around appeared to be a map of the city sewers. An ‘x’ showed where the rally was to take place, and he hurried there in an attempt to find his friend.
Meanwhile the cardslinger, trapped in a cage after being knocked out by thugs, spoke to his cellmate: a dwarf known as Yoten the mighty, who claimed he was of great renown. After collecting his cards from various places throughout the room, the cardslinger attempted an escape... only to be captured and brought to the front of the rally.

The main party (the necromancer/death cleric, rogue and paladin) watched as the cardslinger was brought on stage, and was nearly stripped of his magic by Imarnn. Jumping away from the scene, the cardslinger managed to escape from his captors. When the guards started attacking the cardslinger as they ran into the crowd, many gathered began to run and combat began. Fighting valiantly, the party killed many of the orc guards, but Imarnn managed to escape in a puff of light. The Geomancer saw that Imarnn’s face was more of an illusion, hiding some sort of tentacled face.

After the battle the party returned to the surface and had some downtime, reading in libraries and exploring the city. One of their number entered a relic shop owned by a man with pointed teeth, who requested the collection of an artefact from underneath the project bluebird internment zone nearby. After sneaking into the zone through geomancy and also using some connections with a prostitute to enter, the party found the Elven ruins beneath the internment zone. After nearly dying to a black pudding inside and failing to solve several puzzles, they found the artefact that was requested from them. Once they touched it a security troll fell from the ceiling and smashed into them, vomiting up goblins. Battle began, and after altering the trolls mind the Necromancer defeated the rest of the goblins with the Paladin’s support and damage sponging. At the other end of the dungeon the rogue slaughtered their way through several goblins while the Geomancer and card slinger double teamed another troll. As the dust settled, the group approached the artefact... which is where the session ended. To be continued...

RPG stories, by Green

2 years ago

Anyway, he asked me out. I said yes because I am a people pleaser. We lasted one date before I realised he wasn’t into me. He was into the NPC. He wanted to date the NPC I was playing. Obviously I avoided him from then on.

Im dying

RPG stories, by Green

2 years ago

Just give him the little NPC model you painted and let him fap to it. ^_^

RPG stories, by Green

2 years ago
I just want to know what the tip off was. Did he say he was only paying for dinner if she stayed in character?

RPG stories, by Green

2 years ago
It was a number of things. Basically all he wanted to talk about was our campaign, which while I obviously enjoy a talk about RPGS kind of is annoying when you’re trying to get to know them better (he was the one in the group I’d only known for a little while, so I was trying to establish human connection). He also seemed very impatient whenever I tried to change the subject to myself or asked him questions.
Half way through he asked me if I was okay because I ‘wasn’t acting like’ myself. Obviously I was a bit nervous because I’m on a date with someone who really doesn’t seem interested, but that comment ticked me off.

After the date, like a few weeks, I received a private message by one of the other male members in the group. He sent some screenshots of an Instagram conversation between him and the person I went on a date with. Date person was complaining that I was a completely different person ‘in real life’ and was nothing like my dnd self. I honestly don’t know what he expected: our group stays pretty in character but as far as I’m aware a gang of dwarves didn’t murder the rogue’s father.

RPG stories, by Green

2 years ago
Just...lmao. There are no words.

Congrats on being the only female besides his mom and sister he's ever interacted with, I guess.

RPG stories, by Green

2 years ago
Fun side story:
This date guy currently has a bi girlfriend. At Halloween they did a reverse gender costume thing (he wore a school girl uniform she wore some teacher shit?) anyway I’m pretty sure he gets pegged.

I’ve also heard he’s done a similar thing to another DM (this one isn’t deaf) and that she actually got him banned from one of the stores in our area (unfortunately nobody likes that store anyway). So yeah: I’m pretty sure it wasn’t me.

RPG stories, by Green

2 years ago
Jesus Christ how horrifying.

RPG stories, by Green

2 years ago
I learned early in life that if the DM utters the words "my girlfriend is joining the party", just leave, it's over.

It gets twice as weird twice as fast if they're BOTH female by the way.

RPG stories, by Green

2 years ago
Yes. 100 times yes.

RPG stories, by Green

2 years ago
I’ve had a few games where the DM’s partner is involved and it’s pretty easy to tell that the significant other gets special attention. I only have one couple in my games (a wizard and a sorcerer) but they play a brother and sister duo, so unless they go the Dark route there’ll be no romance.

RPG stories, by Green

2 years ago
You live to tempt fate, don't you?

RPG stories, by Green

2 years ago
I just played a game with family members, so fate tempting is all I do: can’t wait to cause a divorce!

RPG stories, by Green

2 years ago

I play dnd with my girlfriend and I've killed like two of her characters to make sure she knows she isn't special 

RPG stories, by Green

2 years ago
Someone didn’t get laid that night

RPG stories, by Green

2 years ago

WOMEN, am I right?

RPG stories, by Green

2 years ago

Go and figure 'em!

RPG stories, by Green

2 years ago
I’ll never get them.

RPG stories, by Green

2 years ago

Lol

RPG stories, by Green

2 years ago

Pink is the problem player. Pink was a tyfling warlock (can you see where this is going?) that had every cliche imaginable. She constantly interrupted me when I was trying to speak, was on her phone till combat, constantly told people their roleplay was bad, spoke down to me and claimed her other DMS were better (I was 3 years younger than her at the time). I eventually spoke to her outside the group, which resulted in her trying to murder hobo her way through the campaign. Anyway, I eventually kicked her ass out and moved the father and son duo to a better game with more positive players. I heard recently she tried to run a pathfinder campaign which went awfully, with players dropping out because of poor quality.

That's very not cool. You were a new DM and the lady seemed to just want to powergame or something, from what you're saying she didn't seem actually interested. A shame that you had to direct the duo somewhere else, but I'm glad that you're doing better than that other lady. I am also glad that did not put you off DMing, because you're really good at it.

 

Basically one player’s girlfriend WOULD NOT LEAVE HIM ALONE. Ever. She’d call him every five minutes of the session, demand pictures of who he was with ect ect. Eventually we invited her to the session so she’d stop. Bad move. Basically she demanded an in game relationship with her partner and tried to describe flirting between them, which made everyone uncomfortable and is the reason I don’t do romance in my games anymore. Eventually she moved away after they broke up, but it was a weird few weeks.

I myself have never personally experienced both possessive relationships or extreme preferential treatment of significant others in DnD. The latter is because usually DnD couples are cool and both understand that becoming OP isn't fun, but I have seen em get a couple more magical items than normal, but it's tolerable. The former I have experienced secondhand happening to people I know, and that's probably one of the worst types of relationships to be in. Top 5 for sure.

But I DO know is couples making people uncomfortable. Get a different room. That's not allowed.

Not gonna lie, I also am kinda adverse to romance in DnD because of a bad experience, but it's sad to see that you've metaphorically closed of your heart to it. It can be a great character-building tool. Especially if you KILL the people they grow attached to.

 

Essentially a player (male) was really, aggressively into one female NPC that travelled with the party for a while. She was pretty timid, but I am not currently (confidence has come easily to me because I’ve realised I’m incredibly sexy). Anyway, he asked me out. I said yes because I am a people pleaser. We lasted one date before I realised he wasn’t into me. He was into the NPC. He wanted to date the NPC I was playing. Obviously I avoided him from then on.

Dang. While I am glad that you have a great amount of self confidence, it is sad to hear that someone only liked your personality because of your character. That's no good. I think I can relate, because I've played DnD with people who didn't really know me, and I guess they sorta thought the character I was playing was a self-insert or something. Whenever we hanged out afterwards, they would see that I was not a gigachad or smart guy or furry because I was playing a dragonborn druid.

RPG stories, by Green

2 years ago
Oh this lady wasn’t a power gamer, she definitely just thought she was. She seemed to think she was amazing at everything, but put others down to make her feel better. Fortunately she’s in a friend’s campaign and she supposedly moved past it, but as a new DM I couldn’t deal with it at all. The duo moved away when the son went to university (the dad wanted to be near him because the son is his carer), but the campaign they were in was so wholesome. I’ll write it down here when I’m not tired.

I try to avoid getting couples involved in my games, sometimes it works well but when it doesn’t it splits the group so much. Honestly I have no need for love, I have my models.

Honestly that’s a massive issue I’ve heard about from my non-deaf friends. I think it’s because if people speak with their normal voice during roleplay it can be difficult to see the difference between what they’re saying in and out of character. Either way, it’s really weird and I’m truly sorry you experienced that Tim. I try to get my groups to hang out once a month outside of game if possible, just so we can take breaks from the action.

RPG stories, by Green

2 years ago
Fun story - one year my wife and I were running an adventure at Gen Con to push our game system. We had a full table of folks excited to play, but also these two young ladies that were a couple.

We started playing and it quickly became clear that the couple was going to be a problem, as they pretty much tried to dominate the game, with one of them constantly telling everyone what they should do with their own characters.

She went as far as to actually pick up my wife's character figure and "helpfully" move it where she thought it would be more logical.

My wife was not liking this at all (and moved her figurine back) and I could see that the other players were getting irritated by it too. I tried to be diplomatic and encourage the couple to just play their own characters and let the rest of the table do the same.

They just didn't seem to get the message.

Now, anyone who has been to a large gaming convention knows how loud it can get in the rooms. You actually lose your voice DMing due to having to speak really loud to be heard by your own table.

So, by this time, my wife had told me during a break, that she was really getting fed up with this obnoxious player and that I should do something about it.

Here, I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. I'm trying to introduce folks to our game on one hand and don't want to kick anyone from the table, while also thinking the couple is making the game suck for the others, which is going to translate to a bad experience and lost sales.

Well, the party gets into a battle and this lady grabs my wife's figure once again and sets it down on the map and goes "Why don't you move over here?!?"

My wife snaps and jumps up out of her chair with a balled fist and yells "Why don't you SHUT THE FUCK UP!!!"

The room went silent. Everyone heard it. I'm about ready to try hiding behind the DM screen.

So I talked my wife down from flipping the table and curb-stomping this player right there in the middle of the convention, by suggesting that maybe she should go check out the dealer's room and pick up a souvenir for our youngest daughter.

Amazingly, everyone else at the table decided to stay and finish the game.

I still don't think that couple learned anything, but I did end up making sure they never joined another one of my games.

RPG stories, by Green

2 years ago
That's amazing.

Having another woman chase them off the table is probably the only way to win against a couple of lesbians, your wife definitely had way more freedom to put her foot up their ass in public than you did there, I'm so glad that worked out the best for everyone.

RPG stories, by Green

2 years ago

They deserved the curb stomping. Touching someone else's miniature is wrong 

RPG stories, by Green

2 years ago

Once again:

W O M E N