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So, I saw how far it was getting to the left, and how no one could post to the bottom without extensive searching, so I decided to extend the thread.

I wish for a new razor

Granted, but when you open the package it slips and slice's from the forhead up off you skull. It feel's a little strange that you can touch your brain but then you remeber that you should be dead and died.

I wish for a time machine that won't explode or erase me from time or make me grow old/young when i use it to conquer the Bronze Age.

That's an... odd response. Your wish is granted, but you get assassinated shortly after yuo come to power

I wish for ketchup

Granted, but it contains flesh-eating parasites.

I wish I was immune to flesh-eating parasites.

granted, but since there aren't any flesh-eating parasites it's a bit pointless.

I wish I could think of a good wish.

Granted, but you will forget it as soon as you reply.

I wish I could get rid of my writers block.

Granted but your story will be bad

I wish my dog could talk

Granted, but he has a really annoying voice that makes it intoleratable for anyone to listen to him.

I wish I could write at the speed of light.

Granted but you can't ever use that skill because the keyboard would burst into flames each time you tried.

I wish I could sleep well at night.

Granted but you never wake up

I wish I could poop in public and not be judged.

Granted, but you accidentaly pee as well and get lynched for it

I wish for diplomatic immunity

Granted but your country gets invaded

I wish I was rich

Granted, but the people you stole all that money from get mad and send mercenaries to kill you.

I wish you didn't know what you were going to wish for until after you wished for it.

Granted, but it made little difference in my wish working out exactly the way I would have planned it.

I wish I had an apple.

Granted, but it contains a flesh-eating parasite (hah, bet you had Sindri's wish now!)

I wish for the invention of taco-flavored pringles

Granted but they have flesh eating parasites

I wish I impersonate Bill Cosby

Granted, but you can't speak the language or tolerate the food D:

I wish I had a talking dog who liked me, didn't eat my cat, or have anything to do with flesh eating parasites.

Granted, but no one will believe you because your talking dog acts like a normal dog when in the presence of other people or recording devices.

I wish I could stop planning and type up this storygame I've been working on already.

Granted but it becomes featured and leads to a succesful series and Nevermind kills you for stealing EndMaster's spotlight.

I wish the Browns could draft Andrew Luck.

Granted, but then Andrew Luck turns out to be just like Ryan Leaf. At his best D:

I wish I had a really cool hat.

Granted but it cuts off circulation to your brain and you die.

I wish I had a car that I cannot die in.

You can't die in that car, but you can't leave it either. What a sad life...

I wish I was part robot.

Granted buy you break

I wish for the ability to choose when I die.

Granted, but you don't get to choose how.

I wish people understood me the first time I tried to tell them something.

Granted, but you won't be able to understand them in reply.

I wish I had the ability to read another language.

Granted but you accidently read ancient script but never realize that it is a curse for anyone who pronounces it. You go on to live a happy life with you're family until your child is hit by a car. While you're mourning at his funeral, you hear a man in a cape call out the words you spoke years earlier. As you call to him he vanishes before your eyes. Moments later your husband is killed when the altar collapses. Your other child however is seriously injured and left on life support until you pull the plug. You sit questioning what you did wrong all those years ago until you decide to end it and put a bullet in your skull.

I wish I had a pony.

Granted, you become Justin Bieber but you also get shot.

I wish I would win President.

Granted; you're  President of the We Hate Words Club.

I wish Minecraft would stop crashing, so I could play it now.

Granted but your disc breaks.

I wish Fallatio Girl wouold rescue me.

(Good thing my Minecraft isn't on a disc. XD)

Granted, but then she immediately leaves you and, years later, doesn't even remember your name.

Sorry, I forgot to add a wish...

I wish that there was a new percipitation in the form of Cold Eeze.

Granted but it's Cold Eeze so... ya know

I wish I had a pony that wouldn't anally rape me.

Granted, but you'll do it voluntarily instead.

I wish I could find someone who liked the show my fanfic is based on.

Granted buy they die afterwards.

I wish I had a pony that didn't like anal sex.

Granted, but the pony turns out to be  guy disguised as a pony and you freak out and get knocked unconscious.

I wish I had more Oreos.

Granted but they have a flesh eating parasite in them.

I wish I could shoot my pony

Granted, but we end up having cile instead

I wish that I could finish my stoy.

Granted, but your "stoy" invention eventually becomes self-aware, and goes on to conquer the world.

I wish for pony bacon

Granted, but its from a pony that you befriended and took care of for the last 4 years.

I wish for the sky.

Granted but you can't breathe.

I wish Bo would forfeit the debate so I win