Oh come the fuck on. "Senior Servant"!? The fuck is that, a Butler? Come the fuck on, you can get a higher rank working for a Dark Lord as a Dunkin' Cashier. He's like, one of your two followers, and you won't even let him be The Scheming Advisor!? Fuck's sake, I guess you don't even have the power to give him any proper superpowers, so The Dragon may be out of the question, but seriously!? Zag's a much better fan than you give him credit for, it's digusting. You're like that one police captain who upgrades their employee's ranks by a tenth of a class at a time.
Also, @Matthias, evil darkness shit is a big no-no on the path of the spork. Your holy cutlery is revoked, you bastard..