Was sent here from TV tropes via Choice of Games.
Wait.... you came here from CoG? Few manage the task. Anyway, welcome to CYS. If you have any questions feel free to PM me. I hope you enjoy your time here.
Thanks I hope so too (I always enjoy a good story). But what do you mean "Few manage the task"?
Any link to this site (At least on forums) Gets flagged immediately and the user who posted it gets banned for 200 years.
Was looking through the interactive fiction section on TV Tropes. This site was on the list.
Why is that?
Because they realize this site is far better than theirs and they don't want their citizens to immigrate here.
There's a link to here on the CoG TVTropes page?
Or did you mean this one?
Glad to see our outpost is working.
What? Am I a bear?
*Looks between legs, sees two marbles and a breakfast sausage* 'Kay.
Hmmmm. Are you sure you're from COG?
I'm not from COG, I'm from TV Tropes and YouTube.
Hello and welcome to CYS!
I recommend reading any of the stories in the featured sections, particularly Will's How Not To Write and The Land of Bad Writing, since they may help you with any future storygames you may write.
Bookmarked and saved for later.
Welcome! It's not often that I get to offer a spork to a newbie. Here you go!
Can I have a spork?
You haven't proven yourself worthy, yet.
Unlike this person, who has done absolutely nothing to prove that they're worthy.
What do I need to do to prove myself worthy?
Jesus Christ fine, have a spork if you want it so fucking much why don't you.
Just remember, the spork must choose you. You are merely a custodian, probably.
The spork is mine! It is the ultimate weapon! *Pokes you with spork*
We talked about this.
The very disbalance of good and evil depends on this shit.
Don't ever use this spork or it will fuck you.
When did we discuss this?
I JUST SAID UP THERE THAT EVIL HAD TO BE STOPPED AND SPORKS.
You two amuse me "Now kiss".
Am I worthy?
I would give you a spork, but you turned your back on me when I needed your support the most, so no sporks for you.
I realize my mistake. The RP would have lasted longer if T-Count didn't fuck it up.
I don't think I fully forgive you. I won't give you a spork, but I will give you a spoon and a fork instead. You're either gonna have to figure out how to combine them, or prove yourself worthy to Sent in order to obtain a spork.
What? Why does it matter what he said?
Ok, so imagine a spoon with small prong on the end like a fork.
What does it have to do with Stories?
Nothing at all.
I'm going to have a fun time here aren't I?
It has plenty to do with stories. Admittedly, it has less to do with stories as it does with the disbalance of good and evil in the universe.
In time, it may choose you as its true wielder. It also may not do that. Either way, as long as those nameless creatures that gnaw on the wholesome are banished beyond the tangible reaches of our physical and metaphysical dominion and all that shit, we'll be fine.
If someone offers you strawberry pudding, kill them. Do not ask questions before the deed is done, their guttural noises will only drive you mad.
That was so funny I remembered to laugh. "Heheheheheheh".
"DO YOU THINK THIS IS A FUCKING JOKE!?" Said the poorly drawn furry character, hands filled with monochromatic cutlery as he maintained poor consistency between PoVs.
I prefer more Humany Creatures (Elves, Demons, Angels).
Elves, demons, and angels can't drink saltwater. Or use their face as a handaxe. Or have 4 balls.
Not like I'm a Penguinite supremacist or anything. Your whole creature preference thing is very racist and it makes my scrot tie itself in knots.
Penguinites are pretty fucking cool. I'm just a septic eyeball in a tank attached to a robot.
And I'm the anthropomorphic personification of how good (and stupid) humans are. Nobody's perfect.
The hole in the ozone is gone. Now we have to bring it back.
But, what about all of the polar bears and other non-Penguinite creatures?
Wrong Pole. There only penguins and seals in the south pole.
Ooh. My mistake.
Penguinites live in Scotland and Europe and the Middle East and Africa and Asia you racist football fuck.
I'm not racist against any sentient creature (Furry or otherwise). I would just prefer to have skin (or scales) instead of fur.
We sort of have scales. They're like resiney hairs that work like feather armor.
Be prepared to lead a Penguinte cult of some sort.
Is there any cool Penguinite legends, Sentsei?
Penguinite cult? I hope I can join!
Time to create our own Peguinite personas, young one.
Oh, yeah. We have monsters called Winter Men, which were highly trained genocidal sociopaths bred to deal with the Orc Menace like a thousand years ago. It was so evil that eventually the Clan leaders started hunting them down to murder them and we have an Orc Acceptance festival where everyone loves each other. It's like Civil Rights Christmas.
We also have a song about a very old Penguinite fellow, who, while fighting Orcs a little before this incident, pretty much invented the Meghite equivalent of "Go to Hell, you cuntblister."
In the process of translating a story about the Shovel-Wielding Dragonslayer whose name is literally "Fuck of God", because he seduced the Dwarves' God of the Forge to prove that it's still manly to swing the other way.
That sounds interesting. Are there any you have translated already?
Only those partial bits. I have to write down all their siege techniques and shit first so I can sell them as a Pathfinder mod or some shit have a fully developed world with justified furries. Gotta build up before you build out. That's rule #1 of monstrously large fantasy worlds.
Hm. Know that I am interested, and feel free to notify me when you accomplish anything related to this.
Oh, and what happened to the Winter Men?
May or may not have become Actual Satans before being all killed.
I'll have to read it later.
You seem worthy to break the n00b barrier. (The theoretical barrier of time and/or negative energy to which all n00bs are subjected to. Many fail, and are cast into oblivion. They rarely return.
I accept! What is required?
Oh, it's not something that I can bestow unto you. I simply hope for it. Don't fade into oblivion.
I don't have one. I just like Choose your own adventure stories. COG were on the app store so I gained an interest. COG some some real good stuff (Most of which was made by Paul Wong). So I don't have one to suicide bomb.
See, Mizal was joking. Break the N00b Barrier.
You can start by taking the pledge.
Interesting pledge... Where do I take it?
Post it on your profile page. Go ahead.
And swear your loyalty to the duke of darkness himself, T-Count! Does this mean I get a promotion?
Let it be known that on this day, the ninth of January 2017, ZagHero, AKA the original temporaryslave, has ascended himself to the rank of Senior Servant, distinguishing himself from the more recent additions to my imperial coalition. Thank you, faithful underling, for your service, and may you continue to serve the Count Fenrir until eternity's end.
I shall continue to serve thee, and await for the dawn (or dusk) of our glorious and insurmountable force to grasp the reigns of victory.
Oh come the fuck on. "Senior Servant"!? The fuck is that, a Butler? Come the fuck on, you can get a higher rank working for a Dark Lord as a Dunkin' Cashier. He's like, one of your two followers, and you won't even let him be The Scheming Advisor!? Fuck's sake, I guess you don't even have the power to give him any proper superpowers, so The Dragon may be out of the question, but seriously!? Zag's a much better fan than you give him credit for, it's digusting. You're like that one police captain who upgrades their employee's ranks by a tenth of a class at a time.
Also, @Matthias, evil darkness shit is a big no-no on the path of the spork. Your holy cutlery is revoked, you bastard..
One of T-Count's *3 followers.
Isn't one just an alt, tho?
temporaryslave was me all along. I think the third is an actual dude.
Grocery stores exist.... *Buys a pack of sporks*
Those don't have any powers. Those are lies and corrupted idols created by corporations to blot out the truth and cause health problems.
The joke is on him, Sent. You can't buy sporks from everyday stores. Believe me, I tried.
WHY WOULD YOU SETTLE FOR A FALSE SPORK!?
Come now, Zag, is there no steering you from this path? I can teach you the ways of goodness and shininess. It's actually kind of the opposite of Evil being the "Lazy Route" as it usually is, because Good is pretty trusting and you can get superpowers pretty easy.
I know that Sentsei! The path which is narrow is always favorable! I'm stuck by my own pledge, and as I said a hero keeps his word. Even if he has sworn allegiance to a chaotic evil overlord.
The day of both Utensils and Puddings are fleeting. Take whichever side you must today, but in the end, it will all have been meaningless. Let me deliver you to the truth, Zag (and Matthias)!
Billions of years ago, and billions of years to come. It's not exactly fleeting. Perhaps, one day, light will find a new way to exert itself and provide the omniverse with protection, but the sporks have not yet reached the end of their cosmic service, and when they have left, all we need is to call upon the true heroes of the universe to provide us with another help. Because in the end, Dark and Light are only really inside us. Divine Intervention only shows us the way.
And Divine Intervention pretty much shows that Darkness is a fukt path unless you take it backwards.
Light is for puny confused blind mortals. Dark allows men to rise to godly ranks. For this era, you will have your say, but Light and Dark are just two sides of the coin -- a coin that will know destruction. This is my mission and the gift I bestow upon my underlings! They may choose Good or Bad, but in the end, they mustknow Chaos. Promising to be my slave now just gives them the much needed practice. Also, Dark allows them to be immortal enough to reach said endtimes and is more easily affiliatable with my ambitions.
There is no such thing as chaos. Everything is perfectly played out in numbers and algorithms, every possibility and impossibility is neatly tied up in an alternate universe spawning alternate universes. It is all set paths, set reactions, we are no more capable of creating chaos than a self-writing Storygame... Which we are.
Order itself is chaotic and Chaos is an order. Construction exists to ultimately destroy. To be one with the universe, we must align with Chaos. Nothing is forever. All will end. (It's the very meaning of my username after all!) Clearly, you are inadequately educated in this manner, but worry not. The self-destruction of the very universe will be too complex for your paltry penguinite mind to comprehend and thus you have nothing to fear. Keep your foolish, one-dimensional ideals of sporks and Winter Men; I'll prepare myself for the coming of RAGNAROK.
Ragnarok is a petty, edgy, squabble that changes basically nothing in the face of infinity, and will always be a petty, edgy, squabble that changes basically nothing in the face of infinity.
And Winter Men are not ideals. They're literally an anti-racism legend, which makes your evil not only stupid, but also racist.
1.) You spelt RAGNAROK wrong.
2.) Listen not to those foolish confused Nordic myths. They are written by plebeians as corrupted as you are.
3.) Time is a magnificent force. You will be amazed to see how my powers and knowledge develop in the many years to come.
EDIT: I will educate myself on the concept of these Winter Men. In due time.
*Kicks leg* The sporks will be mine! *Steals spork*
It started as a joke, but a hero keeps his word. I guess I'll have to forge a spork of my own...
These things take time, penguinite. Matt, Zag, remain faithful, by swearing your soul into my darkness, I have the ability to make titans out of you.
You're like a Pyramid Scheme, except instead of products you sell your own evil to people who have no idea what they're getting into. The light side will prevail, motherfucker.
So, Zag can somehow escape the grasp of darkness? This is emotionally confusing.
Of course it is. They're lies. Fanboy over the penguinite as much as you want, but do not let his foolishly optimistic myths sway your thinking from the truth.
The darkness doesn't grasps you, it is you that grasp the darkness.
The darkness is weak, it has no hold on anyone who does not grasp it back. It does not exist to those who see through the illusions. You don't have to be a part of the contagious beast that is the darkness. You can vanquish it, seek your own power, become a true hero and shit.
You fool! Light is the only illusion. The light blinds and fills hearts with meaningless positivity. Darkness gives nothing and allows great men to create their own thoughts without distraction. The wisest and strongest of men hold darkness in their hearts to strengthen themselves and spread it to their progeny to create great future ages. A day will come when you see that the purest light is darkness!
You're a fool, you fool. If Darkness allows people to rise independantly, why do you govern them? Why do you choose their rank!? The Buddha (A being of enLIGHTenment) proposed the same thing, but his followers were all equals, with no rank, and superpowers were matters of heaven and happenstance.
Equality? No. In this day and age, governing is needed. They haven't yet fully become one with the Spirit of Chaos! Do not scrutinize my methods! I'll hear no more of this!
Besides, it's pretty good motivation.
Your evil is self-contradicting. MARDOX could give you lessons in Dark Lording, and he makes the Silver Age Joker look like Sauron himself.
Do you know who I am?
A fool and a fraud. Full of petty anger and hatred, blinded by greed and jealousy, fear, megalomania, and unrestrained passion. And also Evil. I can get up from a guillotine and grow a new head. Can your "Head Servant" do that!?
Naw bro. Not unless the Divine wills it.
Liss'n up, punk. This is Newbie Central. There's no place for you to preach your uninspired accusations and detestable fabrications. We'll settle this a later day.
Gah! Are these lies or truths? Did I do good or bad? I can't decide.....!
You have already taken the pledge. You cannot escape, sadly.
Fuck! I will find a way.....
Nope. Your rep's stained with this forever.
And dude, it's been one day. You're gonna let some furry degenerate tell you what's what or you gonna listen to the coolest guy on the site here.
Zag! Contain your inferior!
>Profile is emo deviantart wolf.
>Rants of psuedo-philosophy and Nietzscheness against a revennant who turned down the ubermensch prestige class
My kind of degeneracy is less stupid than your kind of degeneracy.
Well, it may be stupid, but at least it's not dumb.
You take that back, you lying mongrel dog.
I'm a wolf.
I stopped calling you the p-word out of respect.
I'd like the same.
Oh, right, so you can stop calling a Black person the N-Word because it's not respectful enough, but you call him a monkey primitive and demand a respectful tone when he says you're a racist Honkey? This doesn't make any sense, puppington.
Now you're accusing me of racism.
Goddamboy! You just don't get me at all, do ya?
Next thing you know you'll be calling me a racist for having slaves? Not all slavery is bad! Some people can do it right. Just look at End. He naturally and very fairly debases people's self-respect enough to a level where they're willing to grovel to him. No one's complaining there. I'm just trying to build my own fucking autocratic empire from the labor of oppressed low-classmen I forcefully cajoled and enslaved. It's the goddamn American dream!
Interesting.... No! I will stay with the darkness and won't fall for your worthless lies!
I literally can't lie. If I do, the forces keeping my undead regenerative body out of its gravehole will leave me and I will be a gangrenous mass of 50-year-old corpse.
You don't intentionally lie, but you aren't speaking the truth.
I have seen the realms beyond. I have gone to the other side of the other side of the other side of the realitous dodecahedron. I have spoken with my god. I have argued with my god. I have received foggy-limitted regenerativ immorality from my god. I know my shit, you are a fool, an idiotic fad that darkness will look back upon with embarrassment, and I have spoken only the truth from the beginning of this conversation to its bitter end.
" I have received foggy-limitted regenerativ immorality from my god."
Immorality? You are a liar!
But no really --
A day will come when I will end you. Enjoy your haughtiness and confused morals, but do prepare for an upcoming onslaught.
I was granted an immunity to death until the three universes I am charged with protecting either receive a new protector or are rid of serious evil altogether, not an immunity to typos. That day will only come when I have ascended... Which, if you really want to make me die for real, will only make things worse for you, making me one with the Enlightened Allmaker and all that shit.
I'm prepared for that bastard. Thanks for the information. It will be of use when the time arrives.
Oh! Welcome to the brotherhood, Mattias!
Let it be known that on this day, the ninth of January 2017, Matthias, has forever sworn allegiance to the magnificent temporaryaccount, and despite the word "temporary" being in his master's name, his reputation will forever be branded with this honorable burden. Well done, my underling. May you serve fruitfully and for a long time.
You should post a sign-up thread somewhere, allowing others to join you.
Haha, a sharp one he is!
One day, but perhaps in the far future.
Yeah, you could do that too. Having to swear and display your allegiance to T-Count would keep you online more. Hopefully enough to have you molt your skin of n00bdom.
"Sorry about the mess" -Han Solo RIP
Anyways, you got to know a good number of us pretty well, Sam. Welcome to the site, and when you're ready to pick a side, choose wisely. The balance of a thousand omni-fates rests on the decision of all sentient beings.
I leave for a few hours to get some HW done i come back and penguins, wolves, and cyborgs are having an argument in my introduction page. Can't say it wasn't the weirdest thing that happened to me today.
Hi, welcome to CYStia.
How do you know that...
The fact that he knows about my JoJo fanboyism, as the Forum Game threads are no longer up, they do not appear in my profile, and I make no clear reference to it outside of Forum Games.
Oh. That is slightly creepy.
I'm assuming that your profile picture is not from JoJo, so perhaps he took a look through forums games and found the jojo thread before it was deleted when he was a guest?
That is probably correct.
Mmh, thank you. Yummy.
DAMMIT DOUBLE POST. See how evil Pudding is!?
DAMMIT SAM, IT'S A LIE! WHAT'D I SAY TO YOU ABOUT STRAWBERRY PUDDING YESTERDAY!? PURGE IT BEFORE YOU GET SYPHILLIS!
Welcome, don't die!
I don't intend to.
It usually happens unintended.
Well, legally anyway.
Daaamnn!! I still play CoGs! Welcome to CYS!
Greetings, welcome to this hellhole website! Enjoy your stay, and don't get eaten by one of the strange creatures that roam these lands.