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Please critisize me! I am new! (but be nice too)

3 months ago

Hello People!

I don't know how to address you all. I don't know if that was a good way, but it's something. I'm amazing seastar (no that is not my real name) and I just discovered this website today. I wanted to start by introducing myself to the community, because so far I have really enjoyed playing around with the functions of the site. I'm not exactly sure how everything works around here, but I'm sure that with your help I will get the hang of it.

I am currently writing a story-game and would appreciate if any experienced users would be willing to give it a brief read (it is only a few measly pages so far so it wouldn't take up too much of your time) and provide me with some feedback about my writing style. Since I do not usually write in this style, i am really looking for critisizm, so don't be too polite to tell me that it's rubbish! I'm looking to improve!

Also, if there are any other newbies to the website who are interested in collaborating on a first piece, I think that would be a really interesting way for me to learn, so feel free to directly message me if you are interested in collaborating on a story or just wanna be buddies.

I appreciate any help and advice, so please send me messages!!!! :)

Please criticize me! I am new! (but be nice too)

3 months ago

Welcome to CYS, Seastar. I recommend you check out the articles in the Help & Info section if you want more details on the site and how to make storygames. 

I strongly recommend you write your first story on your own, it can be short but it must be complete (no broken links, no 'Demos' - the site hates those with a passion), and you can grow from there. Let your first work be bad if it needs to be (try not though), you'll learn from it. 

If you have specific thoughts you want feedback on, feel free to post in the Writing Workshop. I also recommend you work on one story at a time.

Also, the site is fairly passionate, don't ask for mercy up front, and be ready to take feedback when it's given, the site can be unforgiving.

All the best for your time here, and remember: Don't feed the trolls wink

E: First critique: Criticize is with a 'c' and not an 's,' you may want to use a spell checker (Chrome has one inbuilt)

Please critisize me! I am new! (but be nice too)

3 months ago

Haha thankyou so much for the warm welcome!

I'm excited to work on some stories but I always get overly ambitious and then realise that the story I want to write is going to take a long time, so I'm gonna try and focus on getting some short stories out there.

Also, do you think it will bother anyone that I spell some words differently since I'm an aussie? I assume that the majority of people on this site are American.

:) thanks!

Please critisize me! I am new! (but be nice too)

3 months ago

Criticize is the same in both American and British English... and no, most people don't mind the differences as long as the story is coherent.

Please critisize me! I am new! (but be nice too)

3 months ago

Wonderful! :) sorry for pestering you !!

Please critisize me! I am new! (but be nice too)

3 months ago

Don't be sorry for pestering, I was pestering my pasta pesto pork panini earlier.

Please critisize me! I am new! (but be nice too)

3 months ago

Your pasta pesto pork panini probably pestered plenty o' people!! :)

Please critisize me! I am new! (but be nice too)

3 months ago

The people my pasta pesto pork panini pestered probably put powerful pieces of pasta pesto pork panini in trash cans.

Please critisize me! I am new! (but be nice too)

3 months ago

It's possible that people your pasta pesto pork panini pestered put palatable pieces of pricey pasta pesto pork panini 'pon piles o' poop.

Please critisize me! I am new! (but be nice too)

3 months ago

People pooping pieces of poop on my pasta pesto pork panini get punched proudly piercing the persons puny brain. Pasta pesto pork panini prices are perfect.

Please critisize me! I am new! (but be nice too)

3 months ago

The prudish Prince of pasta pesto pork panini probably proudly pronounced that he practices pooping pasta pesto pork paninis upon a pearl potty. 

Please critisize me! I am new! (but be nice too)

3 months ago

No.

Please critisize me! I am new! (but be nice too)

3 months ago

I apologise sincerely.

Please critisize me! I am new! (but be nice too)

3 months ago

My pasta pesto pork panini goes perfect with pasta pesto pork panini pineapple pot stickers.

Please critisize me! I am new! (but be nice too)

3 months ago

Perhaps pineapple pot pies pack powerful punches.

Please critisize me! I am new! (but be nice too)

3 months ago
Commended by JJJ-thebanisher on 2/17/2017 2:08:11 PM
This all sounds pretty familiar to me, I think this is a phase a lot of authors go through. Starting with a small project is usually smart. Sitting down and writing out an outline of the plot and major choices first helps too.

The Writing Workshop is the place to go for feedback or advice on your work, and I'd recommend reading some of the top rated stories to get an idea of what's possible and what readers here enjoy. (Or reading some low rated stuff to get an an idea of what they don't...)

Also, just feel I should point out that stories here are expected to have choices that effect the plot. If the entire rest of your story is going to be 'but thou must!' or 'fine then game over', people are going to see through that even if there are technically links to click.

Anyway, you seem pretty enthusiastic about this, so I hope you enjoy yourself here, and good luck!

Please critisize me! I am new! (but be nice too)

3 months ago

Thanks for your advice, I will definitely take that all into consideration once I get the hang of things.

I'll certainly go check out the writing workshop and have a look at the stuff there; seems like a helpful resource. 

Thank you for all you help !! :)

Please critisize me! I am new! (but be nice too)

3 months ago

Welcome. As the others said, it is a good choice to check out some of the other story games here to get an idea of how things work, and then continue on to your own storygame. I recommend not aiming for a really big project to start with, because this seems to be a popular choice among new members and they end up crashing down before they can achieve this. Start small.

Please critisize me! I am new! (but be nice too)

3 months ago

Thanks for welcoming me!

I agree with your advice and will make sure to keep it in mind while I write. I'm currently working on a tiny little project, and am excited to start working variables and other fancy functions into my stories when I become more advanced!

Please critisize me! I am new! (but be nice too)

3 months ago

Hi, welcome to CYStia, cool avatar, nothing much to say apart from what the others have said already.

Please critisize me! I am new! (but be nice too)

3 months ago

Haha thank-you! I just looked up boxing girl in google images and I found this one.

:) :) I look forward to writing some stories here, everyone seems super nice!! :D

Please critisize me! I am new! (but be nice too)

3 months ago

Hello and welcome to CYS!

I recommend reading any of the stories in the featured sections, particularly Will's How Not To Write and The Land of Bad Writing since they may help you with any future storygames you may write.

I also recommend taking a surf through all the articles in the Help & Info section.

Please critisize me! I am new! (but be nice too)

3 months ago

Thank you !!

I'll certainly have a look at those stories (hopefully I won't have to add any of my own to the thread), so thanks for linking them to me. :)

 

Please critisize me! I am new! (but be nice too)

3 months ago
Welcome and good luck with your stories!

Please critisize me! I am new! (but be nice too)

3 months ago

Thanks for the welcome! I look forward to getting some stories out shortly, and hope that I'll be able to get some helpful feedback.

:) :)

Please critisize me! I am new! (but be nice too)

3 months ago

Welcome to the site ^_^
I've already sent you a PM, but might as well welcome you here too. 

Please critisize me! I am new! (but be nice too)

3 months ago

:) :) haha thankyou

Please critisize me! I am new! (but be nice too)

3 months ago
Welcome to the... wait, wait -- AmazingSeastar isn't actually your real name? I'm not sure this site allows people to use fake names to setup accounts. I'll have to check on that and get back to you...

Have fun, and I do hope you enjoy your stay here.

Please critisize me! I am new! (but be nice too)

3 months ago

Haha, very amusing. I'll be sure to check out your stories because your sense of humour is delightful.

 

Make sure you get back to me with the terms and conditions for the site; I don't want to get banned for using a fake name!