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I'm New

6 years ago

Hello, I've just joined this. I was just looking for a choose your own adventure story and found this website, so I decided to join. Okay, I will go get started. Thanks!

~Wd28

I'm New

6 years ago
Hmm, your name reminds me of one of those school children we used to get always making poorly written stories about the water cycle.

So hi and welcome, but please don't write about the adventures of a water droplet in the water cycle. The professional term for that is 'boring'.

I'm New

6 years ago
makes storygame about water cycle

I'm New

6 years ago

I won't write about the water cycle, I promise. Do people actually do that? That sounds terrible. However, I don't know how good my stories will be. So don't expect amazing. I'm still in middle school, after all.

I'm New

6 years ago
They're school projects or something I assume.

Just a quick note about your story, I'd recommend having some kind of plot beyond 'average school day'. Nothing wrong with writing about an average kid going to school, but it needs something to keep the reader's attention, and every story needs developed characters and a plot and a conflict to overcome.

I'd also recommend avoiding 'random' humor and sticking to a plot that makes logical sense as that will do a lot better here. (Not quite the same thing, but it doesn't make sense that your day completely restarts if you get in trouble for yelling at your little brother...)

And you don't need to list out the players choices in the text itself, by the way. The links are right there and the text is redundant and artificially pads out the word count.

Anyway, this is all assuming you're planning to publish the story when you're finished, it's no big deal if it's just a practice project you're working on for yourself. Your grammar and such is pretty good for your age too so that's always promising, you just need to keep writing and practicing and read a lot of books as well and you'll keep getting better as you go.

Also...yeah, if you're publishing the story you're going to get feedback and criticism, that's one of the purposes of the site. It doesn't make any sense to ignore it and it's hard to improve that way. In fact I'd recommend reading some of the top rated stories here to see what's possible, as well as people's comments so you get an idea of what everyone liked or didn't like about them and what readers are looking for.

I'm New

6 years ago

Thank you so much. That really helped me.

I'm New

6 years ago
I read the description of the story you're working on and I already know it will suck. Welcome to the site, please, put in some effort. If you aren't willing to read comments and get better, go somewhere else.

I'm New

6 years ago

Mayana, thank you for that, and I'm sorry that it sucks. If you don't like it, don't read it, I'm sure there are plenty of stories that you will enjoy more than a middle schooler's attempt at writing a choose your story. Thanks again for your advice, and I do try. Just letting you know. Maybe I will write better in the future. If I write more stories, I would like to hear your opinion again.

I'm New

6 years ago

Um, well, she waaas being a little rough, but I can see where she's coming from! Uh, just, we get a lotta baaad school day stories here. They're so menial and stupid, normally. "Don't like, don't read" doesn't work here very well, but if you put your heart and brains into it, i'm sure it'll be decent. Way to roll with the punches!

I'm New

6 years ago
OK then!

I'm New

6 years ago
Welcome to the site, I do hope you enjoy your stay here.

I'm New

6 years ago

Welcome to the site, fellow newb

 

I'm New

6 years ago

Wow, you seem like a polite youth! I hope you do well here and all!