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Contest Discussion!

11 years ago

Use this forum space to discuss contest entries (NOT to DEBATE the validity of contest entries).  A third of the judgement for this contest will come from you, so feel free to vote for your favorite stories that were entered in the contest - and explain your answer. 

march

(Just as a note: discussions outside of the topic will be deleted from this thread!)

Contest Discussion!

11 years ago
Can a list be posted here of the stories entered into this contest?

Contest Discussion!

11 years ago

Contest Discussion!

11 years ago

I'll be dissapointed if one of the following does not win:

Captured
Equilibrium
Terra Proxima
Mechanised Assault Unit

Thats in no order.

Contest Discussion!

11 years ago
YOu didn't explain what makes those stories better than the other stories posted.  Remember - explain your answer, otherwise it doesn't exactly help. 

Contest Discussion!

11 years ago

My bad!

OK:

 

What they all have in common: All exclusive works, and of high quality.

Captured
- Not up to par with the other three but still intensely good.
- Cool premise

Equilibrium
- Fast paced, well thought out
- Sci/fi thats more relateable then most.

Terra Proxima
- Cool idea, pretty fun.
- Lone wolf variable usage.

Mechanised Assault Unit
- Great Idea
- Well researched and very cool storyline.

Contest Discussion!

11 years ago

All exclusive = all CYS. 

What's your opinion on the story of: Albus, Ducky, Necromancer, and You that keeps them off the list?

Contest Discussion!

11 years ago

albus was a great effort by simpsons, but he... well im not going there. i didnt care too much for Ducky. Necro was well written though from what i remember. great pictures too. overall great effort.

nate

Contest Discussion!

11 years ago
I've voiced my opinion on Necro and Ducky park.  Don't wish to get into that at the moment.  As for You! and Albus... Both just not even in the same league as the aforementioned.

Contest Discussion!

11 years ago

I know that You, Albus, and invasion, have no chance in this contest. Here's why.

You!: As funny as I thought it was, it was too random to be a contest winner. (maybe honourable mention) Pus, there was no real plot or story.

Albus- Terrible. Moving on.

Invasion- good for an 11 year old, but still had terrible grammar and spelling. Also, no background on the aliens. (like why they wanted to kill us)

I think Equil should win. JJJ pretty much covered why it should.

Also, can you have an honourable mention for games that weren't eligible for the contest, but were still good? (ex. Ground Zero, Dead End {?} )  Like, we wouldnt get prizes, just...what's the word...an honourable mention.

riley

Contest Discussion!

11 years ago

"Pus, there was no real plot or story."

lol. that sould be plus.

riley

Contest Discussion!

11 years ago

The opinion you've voiced on Necro and Ducky have nothign to do with your evaluation of the stories. You are ignoring the verdict because of your own BS opinion on the issue. I clarified three or four times to find out if Ducky would be eligable, in my clarification, I mentioned that it was alredy posted on infinite-story. I was told that it was allowed. After a hissy fit, March conceded to alter the rules so that no future stories posted on one site could be eligable for the contest (after this new rule was put in place).

What is the difference between this and copy/pasting from microsoft word? Your argument is BS.

If I lose because the other stories were better, I have no problem with that, but if you fail to even evaluate the stories because you don't agree with the rules that were put in place then you are more childish than I was lead to believe when I rejoined this site in the middle of your "screw you guys I'm leaving" tirade.

I'll evaluate the rest of the stories when I read them, for now I can only speak to Necromancer and Equilibrium because they are the only two I have read. (I won't discuss my opinions on Ducky Park, becuase I am the author and am not so arrogant to beleive that everything I write is superior)

Necromancer was a great story, filled with tons of details and rich characters. The world the story took place in was a living, breathing world. It would not surprise me to find this story at the fore front of the return of interactive fiction. The thing that sets Necromancer apart, to me, is that it actually has literary merit. The downside is that there were some errors in editing that could have been fixed with a proof read. not an overwhelming amount, mind you, but enough for me to notice.

Equillibrium was a fast paced and action filled story. It hinted at a greatly in depth world, but never fully explored said world. The story lacked a lot for me, and I didn't rate it highly when I read it the first time (I think I gave it a 5). I read it a second time, making a few differnt choices along the way to see what other depth the story had to offer, so it was good enough at least to intrigue me into reading a second time. Still though all I found were hints at the depth of the story line, like skimming the surface of the water and talking about the fish beneath but never actually plunging in. I was drawn out of the story several time by consistant spelling and grammar errors. I find it odd that someone who brags so much about their writing ability cannot find a moment to run a simple spell check. Personally, I would be disappointed if EQ were to win.

Having not read the other stories as of yet, I will reserve my opinions on them for some time in the next few days (it's NaNoWriMo, so my time is limited).

Thank you for listing them, march; and for maintaining my respect by honoring your words and handling an unexpected wrench in your contest professionally and admirably. I'm not one to kiss ass, so take that as genuine.

Contest Discussion!

11 years ago

The opening portion of my previous post was directed at JJJ, my apologies for violating the rule of discussing eligability but I believe he already started on that.

 

Go ahead and delete it march, here's the part of the post that adhered to your guidelines on this thread:

 

I'll evaluate the rest of the stories when I read them, for now I can only speak to Necromancer and Equilibrium because they are the only two I have read. (I won't discuss my opinions on Ducky Park, becuase I am the author and am not so arrogant to beleive that everything I write is superior)

Necromancer was a great story, filled with tons of details and rich characters. The world the story took place in was a living, breathing world. It would not surprise me to find this story at the fore front of the return of interactive fiction. The thing that sets Necromancer apart, to me, is that it actually has literary merit. The downside is that there were some errors in editing that could have been fixed with a proof read. not an overwhelming amount, mind you, but enough for me to notice.

Equillibrium was a fast paced and action filled story. It hinted at a greatly in depth world, but never fully explored said world. The story lacked a lot for me, and I didn't rate it highly when I read it the first time (I think I gave it a 5). I read it a second time, making a few differnt choices along the way to see what other depth the story had to offer, so it was good enough at least to intrigue me into reading a second time. Still though all I found were hints at the depth of the story line, like skimming the surface of the water and talking about the fish beneath but never actually plunging in. I was drawn out of the story several time by consistant spelling and grammar errors. I find it odd that someone who brags so much about their writing ability cannot find a moment to run a simple spell check. Personally, I would be disappointed if EQ were to win.

Having not read the other stories as of yet, I will reserve my opinions on them for some time in the next few days (it's NaNoWriMo, so my time is limited).

Thank you for listing them, march; and for maintaining my respect by honoring your words and handling an unexpected wrench in your contest professionally and admirably. I'm not one to kiss ass, so take that as genuine.

Contest Discussion!

11 years ago
Sure, just assume Equil is the best one.... Sniff...

Contest Discussion!

11 years ago

Okay, having read "The White Face", I can add my opinion/comments on this one as well.

I started reading it and was really impressed. I thought it was going to be a magnificent story, but then it just ended. There didn't seem to be any real plot to this, and that's what bothered me. I think if this story has a lot of potential for expansion; raids; war; etc, but the story as presented thus far has fallen short. Also, the Natives of America never used the word "Karma", that's a term from the true Indians (those from India)

I'll post more as I read more.

Contest Discussion!

11 years ago
I'm very excited about the announcing of the winner :) Thanks for putting this on March.

Contest Discussion!

11 years ago
Albus - there was a lot of effort in there, and IPOD actually impressed me a bit with this; far better than I expected. I hate Harry Potter, and I've done my best not to allow this to affect my opinion of the story, perhaps to the point that I am biased against being biased (if that makes sense). The problems I had with the story, however, were that it was far to linear. Even when choices were given it didn't seem to matter what I chose. Maybe it's just me, but your decisions should have an impact on the story in an interactive piece of fiction.

Contest Discussion!

11 years ago
I'm really sorry to start another argument DEP but you mentioned that my grammar/spelling was horrible, etc but you don't even touch on that with Albus?  Didn't it bring you out of the story?  Again, maybe I'm being way overly sensitive or immature but it just seems odd.

Contest Discussion!

11 years ago

You're right, the spelling and grammar were terrible in Albus, but there were other more prominent problems with that story. Equillibruim didn't have as many problems. As I said in my evaluation of your story, there are hints at depth and a lot of underlying messages, I just wish the hints were more defined. Spelling and grammer was the only real undoing of your story.

Albus, however, was a) a Harry Potter fanfic, b) very streamlined/linear (not even a CYOA), and c) displayed poor spelling and grammer. I should have mentioned it, but I focused on the linearness of it all.

Contest Discussion!

11 years ago

Fair Enough, I just felt a little left out because most of his comment was sorta uplifting (You know, better then I expected) and mine was sorta lower (You know.. bad grammar) and yeah they're both valid points but to some reading them both; they'd probably see HP as better (maybe).

Anyway. I wouldn't care if I didn't respect your opinion.

Contest Discussion!

11 years ago
.........Uhhh, yeah, mine sucked!  Hahahahah. 

No, but really though, it did

Contest Discussion!

11 years ago
ARGH! I wrote at least twelve paragraphs of commentary and then accidently clicked on one the links while opening a new tab with it. I'm afraid I won't be giving my commentary today.

Contest Discussion!

11 years ago

What do you guys think of tsmpaul's MAU?

Personally, I think it is good but the reader (me) can drown in the tidal wave of text. Those sorts of stories need a balance between text and choice; I don't think tsm gave enough choice and also should be a little more concise with the text. I think the majority of MAU is the text, not the links or choices...

Contest Discussion!

11 years ago

Tsmpaul has always concerned himself with the story over the choices. he writes stories, he doesnt make games. i think that fine. i love his stories. its alot of reading sometimes, but what do you want? you read harry potter didnt you? no choices there. what do you htink of necromancer? or Ground zero? those are long stories with few choices. (there are a lot of choices in them. what i mean is, there is more reading than choosing.)

nate

Contest Discussion!

11 years ago
GZ has a very good balance of both. The main thing is, whenever there is an (important) choice to be made, the player/reader should do it. This means you also have to insert links to cover those choices. I'm not saying it's bad. But I don't think it's as good as Light Space.

Contest Discussion!

11 years ago

ill give you that. light space is better. i totally agree. however, just know that depth is good. having to read a little before a choice is made is not a bad thing. can be, yes. but not always. and in Paul's case, i dont think it is bad.

nate

Contest Discussion!

11 years ago
Not taking a side but Rommel: Ground Zero has many more words per page then MAU

Contest Discussion!

11 years ago

True, but it is very interactive. I've spen at least 5 hours playing that game, and have only finished the combine story, the shelter stories, and the one where you choose to go to the basement and head to the general store.

Albus was a very bad game imo. It did not deserve to be featured for the short amount of time it was. It had choices like: Eat your supper, then the page would say:but your not hungry right now. Why give me the choice if I can't do it? It was terrible in the grammar/spelling deparment. And some parts just didn't make sense. Like,  why would Harry sign a letter to Albus "Harry" instead of "Dad"? Overall 2/8. That's being nice.

riley

Contest Discussion!

11 years ago
Its an amazing story but I cant think of a time where it hasmore then two links per page.

Contest Discussion!

11 years ago
More choices per page doesn't make it better, and often makes it worse because some of the choices are illogical. The choices were logical in GZ and impacted the story. But why are we talking about Ground Zero? I didn't think it was in the contest.

Contest Discussion!

11 years ago

GZ=Awesome, awesome storygames are used as benchmarks to compare things. You know, like ppl will say: It will never be as good as LOTR, etc..

Contest Discussion!

11 years ago
Ground Zero is not in the contest but we are reading the contest entries.  how come nobodys talking about necromancer of ducky park which i haven't really read through either completely yet.  Good turn out on this contest though and some high ratings on stories - its been good.

Contest Discussion!

11 years ago
Ducky Park is funny, no doubt about it. But it's also a bit shallow with plot depth, meaning, etc...

Contest Discussion!

11 years ago

i havent exactly disected any of the stories yet. but Necro is a front runner for me. an obvious effort was made, his story is very detailed, in depth and a great effort. great pictures too. only down side that i recall was that it was a long story. lol you really need time to analyze it. i believe him when he says its under 100 pages, but the words/page is very large. PERSONALLY i like that, but others may not. good thing we have the save option lol

nate

Contest Discussion!

11 years ago
I think they're all winners.

Contest Discussion!

11 years ago

Hi guys. Got a lot on at the moment, so haven't had a chance to join the discussions :) Anyhow, a few words, and a few opinions:

Yes, most of my stories have only a handful of links in them. Though Ulysses had up to 6 on some pages, the Captured and Mechanised Assault Unit stories only had about two links on the occasional page. Mostly because I think up a linear story and plot from beginning to end, and then try to add a bit of interactivity to it, rather than branching off lots of ideas toward different endings as I go. Though MAU did have two end branches of plot, still not much interaction for a game book website, I know.

As for being "more concise", or "writing less on my pages", I'm afraid I never worked out the art of writing brief, tending toward the ever increasingly verbose, and always blab on and on to get across whatever I'm trying to say, because I can't think of easier ways to say it, so I'm afraid it's just my writing style. I'm used to writing linear stories, so I still find making choices that branch the plot off in different directions difficult, but hope my 'game book' stories will improve as I write more of them.

With the competition date having drawn near, and not much free time, I decided to just publish Captured and MAU as they were, without spending more time adding branching off paths to them. 'Captured' wasn't written as a 'win a competition' story anyhow, just a short idea I had that I wanted to write during some free time I had, so you can ignore that one if you like :)

I'd probably say the better stories were Necromancer, Equilibrium, Mechanised Assault Unit, Terra Proxima, and Ducky Park, in no particular order of importance.

I've never liked the idea of 'point a pencil at a chart' random number systems. It's too easy to point at the number you want, and the story was made to be played on a computer, not just meant for it to be printed - stabbing a pencil at a computer screen has never been a good idea. However, there was plenty of content and choices in the story.

I liked the constant forward flow of Equilibrium, it had a sort of 'action action action' feel to it when I read it.

Ducky Park was a fresh story of humour.  So much seriousness on this website.

Necromancer and Ducky Park were harder for me to read, as I'm one of those people who finds reading stories that are full of strong coarse language everywhere to be off-putting and offensive. However, I acknowledge that Necromancer was a Maturity Level 7 story. As for Necromancer, I've always thought such language out of place in fantasy style stories, associating that sort of thing more with 'modern genre' or 'a ragtag group of rough military soldiers' than fantasy literature, so it was a stumbling block for me when reading it. Anyhow, I won't go into a debate on swearing, as people of different cultures/backgrounds/religions all have different views on such things. However, Necromancer was well written, good choices, and nice length. I liked having the "what sort of world is this" section so that the reader could get an idea of the setting the story took place in, before commencing with the story.

Contest Discussion!

11 years ago

Great points TSM - but hey, don't put down captured too much - it's still a fresh story idea here at CYS, and well written to boot. 

Contest Discussion!

11 years ago

Ok, so in my opinion:

Most likely to win: Necromancer

least likely to win: Albus Potter:The first generation  (shouldn't this crap on a stick be called the SECOND generation since it's about harry's son, or was Ipod just using the most cliched title ever with no reason behind it?)

Seriously, the only way this game should be mentioned in the contest is if it's under DIShonourable mention.

riley

Contest Discussion!

11 years ago

My, that's very constructive feedback, Vader. I can see why you're such a valued member.

Contest Discussion!

11 years ago

Shut up. I've already given my thoughts on the game MANY TIMES. I have good reasons for why I hate trhe game, it's not just because Ipod made it. Even if JJJ had made it, I still would have hated it. I was just adding to my thoughts on the story.

So because I don't like the dtyory i'm a bad member? Gee, nice logic there, buddy.

riley

Contest Discussion!

11 years ago

*story

riley

Contest Discussion!

11 years ago

Insults and simply calling things bad do nothing to help anyone improve. Simply insulting stories without offering any resolutions as to how to improve on the crap factor (regardless of who wrote it) equates to poor ettiquet and it deteriorates the community structure and site participation. People are less likely to participate and work to improve on a site where they get no positive feedback (or constructive feedback at the very least).

I didn't call you a bad member, by the way. I said "I can see why you are such a valued member." Admittedly that was bitterly sarcastic and I could see how the "bad member" thing was implied, but let me clarify what I was trying to say: You seem to be a well respected member of the site (I've always held some respect for you and it seems that I am not alone), but you're not acting very respectable when you make comments like those.

(and now, let's drop this, or message me as this conversation has nothing to do with the subject of the thread. I was just trying to say that you could/should attempt some sort of constructiveness in your comments. Even on stories I hate on here I have sprinkled in a bit of information on how to improve along with my mean comments)

Contest Discussion!

11 years ago

My thoughts on: Captured!

This was an excellent story. The plotline was rather simplistic, but the story itself was great. There were a lot of minor details that really went a long way for me. Referring to each character by their voice was an amazing detail for me, since the prisoner would really have no other way of identifying them without seeing them. The inconsistancies when the protagonist is drugged was also a nice touch. I've never read anything bu TSMPaul, but if his other stories have this much attention to details, I can tell that I am goign to quickly become a fan.

Contest Discussion!

11 years ago
I haven't played most of these games, but I believe that Ducky was intelligent and funny, even if attained these criteria in a sick and sinfully entertaining way, something not done often on this site, but something some people would definitely enjoy.

Contest Discussion!

11 years ago

I think You!, Albus Potter and Invasion should not be allowed anywhere NEAR a prize or even any sort of mention

Contest Discussion!

11 years ago
Or the white face.

Contest Discussion!

11 years ago

Okay... I'm clear about what stories you DON'T want.

Alright.   Rank the following stories from Your Favorite (1) to least favorite (6).  Feel free to put your own story at #1 if you feel it deserves to be there.

Terra Proxima

Mechanized assault unit

Equilibrium

Necromancer

Ducky Park

Captured

Contest Discussion!

11 years ago

1. Necromancer

2.Equilibrium

3.M.A.U.

4. Captured

5.Ducky Park

6. Terra Proxima

riley

 

Contest Discussion!

11 years ago
I agree with DV but i'd reverse the first two.

Contest Discussion!

11 years ago

1 Necromancer

2 Ducky Park

3 Terra Proxima: First Strike

4 Captured

5 Equilibrium

6 M.A.U

Contest Discussion!

11 years ago
Note I have not yet played Mechanized Assault Unit or Necromancer yet.

1. Terra Proxima: First Strike
2. Equilibrium
3. Captured
3. Ducky Park

The last two are tied, thus the three repeated.

Contest Discussion!

11 years ago
woohoo! credibility!

Contest Discussion!

11 years ago

I've only read four of these (my own included), so I'll rank the three I read in order of preference. (all 3 were good, but this is the order of fave to not so fave for me)

Necromancer

Captured

Equilibrium

Contest Discussion!

11 years ago
I've just read EndMaster's work. I sincerely do not care about the rule anymore - I know my opinions on it will not matter - so I think this should take the contest. Don't get me wrong, Terra Proxima is an awesome game, probably the third best on the site in my opinion (to this and Snow), but this Necromancer made me feel joy in a completely different way.

EndMaster put depth into something that hardly anybody could've related too - he put that much depth and thought into something that couldn't possibly happen that you almost believed it could be true. He put so much thought and depth into the writing, each decision felt like it was life-changing. Thank you, EndMaster, and I do hope that you will win the contest.

Contest Discussion!

11 years ago
Terra Proxima is decent but nowhere near a Mommy calibre game.  Have you lost your mind?

Contest Discussion!

11 years ago

March had one rule: keep discussions on topic.

I want to hear all of your opinions, even if you only read one story.

Judging for this will wrap by the end of this week - meanwhile alexp and I are hard at work at CYS 6.0

march

Contest Discussion!

11 years ago
can you give an exact date?

Contest Discussion!

11 years ago

"Judging for this will wrap by the end of this week" - March

Id say Friday or saturday.... lol results probably on Monday

nate

Contest Discussion!

11 years ago
Well, it's tuesday...

Contest Discussion!

11 years ago
its only monday here....

Contest Discussion!

11 years ago
sorry, monday. now its tuesday

Contest Discussion!

11 years ago

it may be tuesday in your part of the world rommy, but here where the judging is taking place its still only 4PM on monday. though it does look like itll be another day or two before announcements are made. but keep the time zones in mind. all posted times are Eastern Standard Time, ie eastern part of the US.

nate

Contest Discussion!

11 years ago
I know. But still...

Contest Discussion!

11 years ago

Updates on the site took longer than expected and all judges haven't read all stories yet.  Prob not til the end of THIS week. 

Winners will be announced Monday, November 26!

march