In a blatant attempt to make Cystia look more awesome, I've set aside a single hour of my innumerable free time hours, in order to hastily draw what I think each countrie's average soldier looks like. Here, in order of power from puniest to most bastardfully badass, are the 9 militiaries of Cystia's mighty nations!
9: The United Federation of Nagnarok
For a nation of such frightening economy named loosely after the prophetic battle that destroys the earth, Nagnarok has an equally terrifying militiary. Nagnarokian soldiers are only the best of the best, armed with only the finest of low-pressure m-48 dimestore squirt guns. And if such lethality didn't already send you running, the expert craftsmanship of their balsa wood swords will. Everything from their heavily armored flannel t-shirts to their store-brand tennishoes will have even the most hardened general shitting their pants in fear whenever their fierce legions come riding into the battlefield on their motor scooters, and to make them all the more devastating, Nagnarok has a total unexploded ordnance per square mile of -5! Truly an opponent to be feared, I'm glad such a brutal war machine is the delegate representing us at the WA!
8: The Democratic States of the Kylan Republic
Really, I'm surprised. For all it's leftist, tree-hugging, dope-smoking, rich-guy-fighting, peace-loving, freedom-proclaiming DAMNED HIPPY antics, it actually has an average military, ranking 18 on the militiary scale. That's right in the middle of the "Average" line.
7: The Dominion of Flametopia
Alas, we come to the nation that sets things on fire all the time. Despite its terrible woodchipping industry, Flametopia boasts a fine economy and uses its resources (Mostly) for the greater good of the nation. With all spending toward the greater good comes the spending on the place's international security, which, I guess, is why they created a bunch of blatantly terrifying gas-mask wearing flame wizards who shoot fire out of their hands and flamethrowers, wear ballistic vests, and, when worse comes to worst, can battle their way out of most situations with their dual fire axes. Well done, Fireplay.
6: The Puppet Nation of Tironich
Nagnarok's puppet nation has made every effort it possibly could to create a psychotic dictatorship, and, in doing so, has landed a decent militiary ranked 26, just above that of the Flametopian dominion. The average soldier is probably pulled randomly out of the corporate herds, explaining how it grew so quickly, the tie, and grumpy "I lost my fucking job!" face, but despite the unprofessional and lacking training, what the Tironich army lacks in skill it makes up for in sheer, devastating numbers.
5: The Theocracy of Mystachisbetterthenyours
Tying with Tironich, incredulously, is the militiary of Aman, the Hair God's industrially struggling empire. The entire army consists of a single soldier, the man shown above, armed only with his wits, his muscles, a comb, a wickedly misdrawn pair of aviators, an unabridged copy of Night Out, and his ruggedly righteous mustachiobeard. If there were but 3 more warriors of this caliber, we'd all be screwed.
4: The holy Empire of AdmiralAkbarr
Just... Just don't even ask...
3: The Disputed Territories of Trovostria
Trovostria's engineers have searched long and hard for the issue that would grant them the ability to equip their soldiers with super-suits, but time and time again, the random roll of issues has snubbed their constant prayers and wishes. They are, instead, forced to use the non-functioning robot suits sheerly for armor purposes.
2: The Dictatorship of Masvodska
As a nation that's been used to second place before the far superior Nagnarok showed up, Masvodska is, no doubt, as proud as hell that they've maintained it's second-best position here. The average soldier in Masvodska is a 2-meter tall, battle-hardened, super-strength-wielding cyborg badass, the knife in that picture is about 2 feet in length, as are the RPGs, no doubt attached to their launchers, seen hanging on the back of the 120-pound backpack. They dual-wield giant machine guns with impunity and could crush several heads at once with their transforming mecha arms of death.
Number fucking 1: The Dominion of Filzeran
The bigger, older, more powerful version of the other corporate police state in the area, Filzeran has the best military for what it lacks in economic prowess. (STILL BETTER! HAH!... Oh, fuck, we're tied now!) The armies of Filzeran are tank-like supersuits run by up to 3 lethal, heavily trained soldiers. They have gatling guns, devastating hydraulic blades, and lauch soda-bottle-shaped missiles by the dozen, with a huge, long-distance bottle of death mounted to a launch-pad on the back. To add insult to injury, they are anatomically correct, and have terrifying mecha-schweens that fire deadly cluster bombs, no matter how banned the WA made them.
