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Holy sheet...!

8 years ago

Struggling to come up with ways to further describe your character? Need something to help get a good grasp on what you're trying to create? Just trying to find things unique to your CS? Well, look no further, my dreary young man/lady/person, for I have an answer! This is the ultimate character sheet! I was going to read through the whole thing, but there's just so much, I just couldn't (probably because I have no use for this much detail). 

Wasn't quite sure where to put this, since it's a just-for-fun type thing but still has to do with writing, so feel free to move it, o'mighty moderators. 

Holy sheet...!

8 years ago

Two blocks in and I love it already! Thanks, Delta. Will definitely track this back to the source, too... I can only hope there's more where it came from. ^_^

Holy sheet...!

8 years ago

I'll probably use it to help flesh out some recurring characters I use in RP or protagonists for stories; make it so when I actually get to writing a story about them, I can go into full detail (I've been getting worse at that lately >_>). Still kinda sucks it's aimed more at superhero stuff, though I suppose it could be tampered with to suit other genres and their respective characters. 

Holy sheet...!

8 years ago

It looks to me like you could (and should) customize it by striking whatever doesn't seem relevant. I mean... "deathday"? XD

Holy sheet...!

8 years ago

Oh, wow, the "love styles" thing is actually super interesting. I'm definitely blue/orange... Ludus/Agape. Wiiiiith a little bit of "Mania"... no pun intended. XD

Holy sheet...!

8 years ago

Eew, ha ha. Waaaaaay too detailed, ha ha. The best c-sheet is one that gets e nvcedities, and only them. Anything unneeded should be a readers decision. (Also I hate dictating exact personalities. Always get them waaaaaaaay off #anton #roy #yehuda #butch)

Holy sheet...!

8 years ago

I hear you there XD *Looks back at the many characters who didn't follow their personalities through* 

Holy sheet...!

8 years ago

Mother of god...

Holy sheet...!

8 years ago

Way too many overlappping ways to describe personality, but then again, it's funny how unexpected things are in terms of favorite things.

Holy sheet...!

8 years ago
It'd be fun trying to fill this out on yourself actually.

Holy sheet...!

8 years ago

I'll admit, I tried filling this out mentally...

Holy sheet...!

8 years ago

All I need now is someone to RP with...
 

Holy sheet...!

8 years ago

2:05 AM, had a cluster headache and nothing to do...

 

Full Name: Arthesul Telbyr-Schock
Pronunciation: arth-sool tell-beer shock
Nickname/Alias: Silas Schock, Dr. Shock, General Killstreak
Meaning: the first thing he killed was a bear, so they named him “bear soul”. He was born in the Penguinite tribe in the mountains, so his last name translates to “the mountains”.
Origin: That’s just how he fucking originated! What bizarre Otaku symbolism were you expecting!?
Title: Although he prefers not to be addressed by these titles (because he doesn’t hold all of them in all universes) he does have two Doctorates, is a certified master of several martial arts, and is the honorary Duke of Maui.
Pet Name: Motherfucker, Pingu, Arty, [expunged for your safety. If any of the rest get said out loud by someone he hasn’t authorized, he will likely hunt down and murder the offender.]
ID Number: I don’t fucking know! Was he prisoner 0098 in the Mars prison camps?
Signature: He writes like a spastic, but a grammatical spastic.

Gender: Male
Gender Role: Old-fashioned, flannel-shirt-wearing lumberjack manly man.
Orientation: Depends on the time of day.
Real Age: Open to interpretation.
Age Appearance: 25
Birthday: December 1st.
Deathday: at least once every other year for the past hundred or so years.
Birthplace: Motherfucking Scotland.
Astrological Sign:

 

“December 1 Zodiac


As a Sagittarius born on December 1st, you seek adventure with a positive and direct nature. While others take comfort in familiar settings, you are most excited with new people, experiences and environments, which explains why you are in constant pursuit of adventure. Your friends and family love your adventurous ways, but they are truly inspired by your positive outlook. Your optimism never seems to falter, even in the face of the most negative circumstances. These qualities make you a highly sought after friend and companion.”
 

Zodiac Sign: do you honestly expect me to calculate what fucking zodiac animal rolls around in the year 25000-something!? Let’s just say “Rooster” because that one seems to suit him best...

Immediate Family: Mom (dead, name undisclosed.) Dad (dead, name undisclosed.) Granny Telbyr (In hiding, fighting against Irish Ginger Supremacists.) General Mjertol Schock (Dead)
Distant Family: helluva lot of in-laws and a royal line in the mountain Penguinite clans that don’t need to be named.
Parenting: tough love, and full of traditional wisdom and shit.
Upbringing: “Evil sucks, and you must protect you and yours from it. That is the Penguinite way.”
Infancy: as soon as they can crawl, Penguinites start training their kids to walk. He was walking at 6 months, and wrestling big dogs at one year.
Childhood: fairly normal. He hunted and trained with the other young braves. He also killed a bear.
Adolescence: most of his family and tribe get murdered by death-worshipping Mars terrorists, he gets adopted by one of the head generals of Earth and charged to protect the Earth princess, then the palace gets attacked and he goes off to war.
Adulthood: he fought some more, became a warden of the Lost God, Killed the terrorist leader at the expense of his relationship with a red-headed revenant, and then died. And then got revitalized with a regenerative ability. And then fought some more, got an airship, fought more, and started travelling across universes to fight evil.
Coming of Age: He matured during a particularly dark/strange/90s-comic-book time in his life that he doesn’t like to talk about, where he had a daughter and a tragic doomed love affair and learned what responsibility really was.
Evolution: First, he was a happy kid. Then he was a sad kid. Then he was a sad kid. Then he was an angry teenager. Then he was an angry man. Then he was a significantly more emotionally fulfilled man. Then he was a Byronic, Batman-type angst bomb. Then he was Okey dokey. Now he’s a merry adventurer!

Species: Penguinite
Ethnicity: Motherfucking Scottish
Blood Type: O+
Preferred Hand: He’s Bi-handed.
Facial Type: round
Eye Color: Black
Hair Color Black and White (He IS a mammal!)
Hairstyle: none.
Skin Tone: nobody’s gotten close enough to him with a razor to find out.
Complexion: like tanned dolphin-hide.
Makeup: sometimes wears eye-shadow during ANGZT concerts. (Download our mixtape, guys!)
Body Type:  I don’t really have a clear idea of what Endomorph, Ectomorph, mean Mesomorph mean, so I’ll just go with “Brick Shithouse”
Build: “Brick Shithouse”
Height: 6’2”
Weight: 250
Cup Size: ask Madhattersdaughter. She keeps drawing transvestite pictures of him, so she’s more qualified to answer this than I am.
Facial Hair: None.
Shoe Size: none.
Birthmarks/scars: Several scars on his back and sides, (you can’t see the ones on his front because they heal with white feathers) and one above his eye, which he got from that bear he killed as a kid.
Distinguishing Features: remember that scar I listed above?

Health: “Brick Shithouse”
Energy: He does not get tired. His powers increase the more blood his heart pumps, to exponential and presumably infinite levels.
Memory: Selectively Eidetic.
Senses: He is an excellent judge of character, and he can smell fear and bullshit a mile away.
Allergies: Vampire dust,(causes sneezing) rhinoceros meat (causes vomitting.)
Handicaps: None.
Medication: he is known to occasionally smoke weed. For, y’know, “medicinal” purposes.
Phobias: Any of his loved ones getting hurt.
Addictions: being badass, taking shit concepts seriously (see: Randomly Walk, and that Quiz game) arguing with people who are wrong on the internet, wiki-surfing, filling out forms like this one.
Mental Disorders: none.

Style: depending on what he’s doing or where he is, “Modern Pedestrian” or “Opulent prestigious military swag”. Sometimes he is known to wear “cunning” disguises.
Mode of Dress: How does he wear it? Better than Kim Kardashian does!
Grooming: he cleans himself obsessively and excessively if he has time, since one tends to get drenched in the blood of treacherous villains in his line of work.
Posture: He stands straight up, usually, with excellent posture. Usually in corners of the room that hold strategic importance, in case he’s being trailed by ninjas and shit.
Gait: he takes long strides and holds his head at a downward angle, observing all the important parts of the scenery and any interesting floorspace. If the place has a cool ceiling, he could walk with his head at an upward angle, but then head risk walking into a pole or some shit.
Coordination: as far as the “fitness” part of this question goes, I believe this is the third time I’ve had to invoke “Brick Shithouse”. As far as ticks and mannerisms go, he likes to talk with his hands, and he has trouble keeping his hands steady when he wakes up in the morning due to the chemical problems that come with regeneration.
Scent: “Brick Shithouse” assuming he hasn’t just walked off the battlefield or something similar, he usually smells faintly of a nice cologne.

Mood: Either friendly, or vehemently argumentative.
Attitude: ^^^
Stability: Pretty consistent.
Expressiveness: Silas is an unusually emotionally expressive individual.
When Happy: Is prepared to love almost everyone. Even Malkalack. Extols the virtues of optimism. Says positive things.
When Depressed: Locks it away like the stoic bastard he is.

When Angry: Finds out who’s responsible for putting these lemons in his life and beats the crap out of them… Or just yells at people and stews in rage.
Note: These are generalizations. Different situations will create different reactions.

Current Residence: In a fine Suburban house in Cystia.
Community: a bunch of idiots.
Family: Angela (wife) Anya (daughter) Anya’s Mother (died tragically) James (Son-In-Law) Bartholomew (grandson)
Friends: You bumbling lot of swashbuckling whippsersnappers, Bear Cop, and his alternate universe selves.
Enemies: You bumbling lot of swashbuckling whippersnappers. And his alternate universe selves. And Strawberry pudding. And Mardox.
Bosses: He is self employed, but there was a time when he fought valiantly for Lord Aman.
Followers: His loyal Geoffrey.
Heroes: Granny Telbyr, Mjertol Schock, Alan Pinkerton, George S. Patton.
Rivals: Angela (at least for a time) Malika (early in the years of the war) Bear Cop, and his alternate universe selves.
Relates to: Angela, and his alternate universe selves.
Pets/Familiars: he once owned a giant alien squid egg... He then lost it in a game of space poker.

Wardrobe: “Modern Pedestrian” or “Opulent prestigious military swag”.

Equipment: a whole treasure trove of weapons of every kind and color, as well as a handy dandy pile of infiltration, burglary, and survival equipment, a teleporting time machine, a magic boot, and a large burlap sack of applied phlebotinum.
Accessories: one time, he wore a fake mustache.
Trinkets: he carries spare lockpicks somewhere in his digestive tract at all times.
Funds: As a mercernary, he makes almost a million dollars a month, all in cash.
Home: a very nice, roomy, upper-class suburban house.
Neighborhood: a bunch of shitty Scrub Lord suburban houses.
Transportation: he has a business van, a motorcycle, and a faux police car. But, if he’s lucky, sometimes his wife will let him drive one of her awesome 50s-70s luxury cars.
License Plate Number: He changes constantly to avoid detection.
Collections: he collects trophies from badass shit he’s done in the past, like his mounted dire moose skull.
Most valuable possession: his time machine, which is, as far as supply  and demand is concerned, pretty much priceless
Prized Possession: he used to own an ancient chip from the prong of the elder spork, but he has since given it back.

Lovers: (in order) A toilet paper roll, a revenant named Malika, an orc named Aegra, a mind flayer named Lindsey, a few vampires, several historical figures he met at the Danse Macabre over the course of a few halloweens, Xethia, the queen dragon, a ninja whose name cannot be disclosed, Cthylla, one of his alternate universe selves, Anya’s mother, Angela Schock.
Marital Status: Married as fuck, yo.
Sex Life: healthy relationship-level?
Type: “Eros/ragma/Banquet/Mania/Ludus/Storge” quick question, what the fuck kind of deviantart bullshit are those!? What the fuck do those phrases even mean!?Are they the names of all the Greek Gods that stopped trying? Why the fuck is this on the sheet? Who the fuck are you!?
Turn-Ons: Chubbiness, cuddling, ear-whispering, scented candles, nazi-murdering. Y’know, sweet things like that.
Turn Offs: morbid obesity, ribs showing, egregious thigh gaps, crooked posture, kobolds, shirtless pictures of Axel Rose, politics, animals, swastikas, Malkalack, lederhosen, the word “clam” when used as an innuendo for “vagina”, any seafood used as an innuendo for vagina, Oprah Winfrey, garlic, silver, wooden stakes.
Position: Sub, usually.
Plays: I don’t fucking know!
Fetishes: Sandwiches and affectionate feeding.
Virginity: Probably had sex around 300-650 times in his life.
Element: What does Avatar kung-fu bending have to do with boning!? Morgan, help me out here! You’re a sexually colorful person who knows all the deviant acronyms! Tell me what this cryptic shit means!

Occupation: Mercernary who slays evil.
Work Ethnic: He works hard, going to absurd, ridiculous lengths to finish his contracts I'm the best way possible.
Rank: General Sergeant Major Corporal Colonial Leader Super.
Income: http://m.youtube.com/watch?v=ULeDlxa3gyc
Wealth Status: http://m.youtube.com/watch?v=ULeDlxa3gyc
Experience: soldier, field general, airship commander, pilot, exorcist, bounty hunter, martial arts instructor, chef, hash-smoking assassin, street cleaner, strip club bouncer, lawyer, con artist, crash test dummy, history teacher, English teacher, weed salesman, supercop, private detective.
Organizations/Affiliations:the forces of good, where he can find ’em.

IQ: 120
Education: Pretty good.
School: He was home schooled for most of his childhood. He later earned a scholarship at the University of Badass.
Grade:As and B’s, usually.
Special Education: none. He ain’t handicapped!
Social Stereotype: Jock
Degrees: he has a doctorate in barbecue, and another one in asskicking. He is also a qualified masseuse. He took that class mainly because he wanted to be able to do the Spock neck-grab thing, which actually works 25% of the times he tries it.
Intelligence: Yes.
Extracurricular Activities: He played in three different rock bands consisting of the same people with costume changes. He was also a weed salesman.

Religion: Galu, and the other gods of his homeworld.
Morals:He fights only those who kill without mercy or reason, and would take advantage of the weak for their own personal gain.
Crime Record: his kill count is in the thousands, and his assault and battery charges are in the millions. He’s also a serial jaywalker.
Motivation: Love, Justice, Truth, and money… But mostly the first three things.
Priorities: they were already in order up there.
Philosophy: Life is great, if you have a purpose that doesn’t suck.
Political Party: Everyone sucks.
Etiquette: He’s as crass, rude, and blunt-mannered as Hussar Rzhevsky, but he dies know what all the different kinds of silverware are for.
Culture: He hasn’t been in a Penguinite tribe for a long time, and culturally, he is pretty much your typical pub - going Scotsman. He does retain some Penguinite culturalisms. Like, in formal settings, he is known to greet his elders by touching foreheads and arm wrestling with them.
Influences: his several parents.
Relates to: I already answered this shit somewhere!
Traditions: He celebrates most holidays, including Chanukwanzmas (or Hannukwanzmas, if you’re orthodox) and Huldnar Egen
Superstitions: He crosses his fingers sometimes when he’s really hopeful for something.

Main Goal: To live a wonderful life with his family.
Minor Goals/Ambitions: To destroy evil, and preserve the earth’s delicious mocha supply.
Career: Mercernary.
Desires: To live a wonderful life with his family.
Wishlist: A dragon horn to drink out of.
Accomplishments: He saved the earth from Mars terrorists, he saved the galaxy from a mad god, he saved three universes from Strawberry Pudding, he banged the Queen of Dragons, he fought king kong with a jet plane and no legs, he traversed the Oregon Trail and won.
Greatest Achievement: He beat Cthulhu, Satan, Santa Claus, Mardox, and Death itself in a game of poker.
Biggest Failure: One time he attempted to give Coins life-saving dick surgery.
Secrets: That’s a secret!
Regrets: He doesn’t like to talk about them.
Worries: The forces of evil coming after his loved ones.
Best Dream:  80 more years of a wonderful life with his family, before finally exterminating evil and being able to ascend to the afterlife.
Worst Nightmare: Something horrible happening that he can’t stop.
Best Memories: Saving Earth, Graduating from the University of Badass, raising Anya, meeting Angela.
Worst Memories: His family getting killed, trench warfare, Finals at the University of Badass, Anya’s mom’s death, Angela never letting him drive the transformer mech.

Hobbies/Interests: Watch movies, play games, make fun of movies and games, rant angrily on the internet.
Skills/Talents: He knows 83 billion ways to kill a man with common household objects, 100 billion ways to kill a man with his hands, a total of 86 trillion ways to just plain out kill a man, and 48 billion ways to prepare a delicious home-cooked meal. He also knows how to speak English, Highland Penguinite, Braille, and is absolutely the best at sex.
Likes: Sandwiches, fighting the good fight, cooking, conversation.
Dislikes: Strawberry Pudding, Cats, Warrior Cats, people who are wrong.
Sense of Humor: Yes.
Pet Peeves: Condescending asswipes, unless he’s the condescending asswipe in question.
Superstitions/Beliefs: None. Silas is a man of truth and science!
Dreams/Nightmares: Mostly war nightmares. Ocassionally, he does
Quirks: He makes flutes out of tree branches and sells them at Renaissance fairs. He also challenges people to sword duels at Renaissance fairs. And jousts.  He also happens to print D&D maps on leather to sell at Ren. fairs...
Savvy: cooking, asskicking, leather,  woodwork, braille, etc. Silas is a man of many hats.
Can't understand: Dr. Who, Homestuck, Rubix Cubes.
Closet Hobby: Dr. Who, Homestuck, Rubix Cubes.
Guilty Pleasure: Dr. Who, Homestuck, Rubix Cubes.

Strengths: He is courageous, implacable, tenacious, strong, and he always means well...
Flaws: He is obnoxious, stubborn,
Perception: 20/20.
Conflicts: Like all heroes, he wishes for world peace… But by the very nature of his vow for immortality, he has to fight a war on an omnipresent idea...
Instincts: He is driven to constantly confront anything he views as a problem head on, and usually all by himself, no matter how illogical or ridiculous.
Lures: Silas is inexplicably drawn to trouble in all forms. If he doesn’t find it, it finds him, and he’s on that shit like two neodymium magnets with a steel wall in between them.
Soft Spot: Small creatures with big sad eyes.
Cruel Streak: Cats, Tumblrians, fans of something he doesn’t like.

Powers/Abilities: His body heals at an incredible rate, and it goes faster the more his heart pumps. this also causes his physicality to ramp up in power, dexterity, etc., and he can also heal into useful shapes, like a deadpoolian version of Prototype.

Origin: It was given to him by his god after his death.
Source: The holy magic that keeps him alive. Duh.
Ability: Pretty good.
Weaknesses: Dispell spells, anti-magic fields, Turn Undead.
Immunities: He is immune to most poisons and diseases. In fact, the more his heart beats, the more difficult it becomes for unwelcome parasites of any kind to survive in his body.
Restrictions: There are certain magical weapons that can wound the shit out of him, and he will never be able to heal until the wielder that did it is dead… But their names have been censored because Silas doesn’t plan on letting people find them any time soon.
Alternate Forms: None in specifics… One time he was turned into a cat, so he joined CYSclan.
Extra Anatomy: He has a huge dick.

Favorite Colors: Blue, Aquamarine, neon green
Favorite Animals: Praying Mantisses, Crabs
Favorite Mythological Creatures: Chimera, Dullahan, Fawns
Favorite Places: Wisconsin, Kansas, Scotland, Russia
Favorite Landmarks: Macchu Piccu, the Mccglashen stones, the Pyramids, Sainte Chapelle.
Favorite Flavors: Bubblegum, mint chocolate, apple, watermelon, smoothie.
Favorite Foods: Steak, Shark, Salmon, Sandwiches, Alfredo
Favorite Drinks: Mocha, Whiskey, Rum, Coke
Favorite Characters: Motherfucking Wario.
Favorite Genre: Sci-Fi
Favorite Books: Song of Ice and Fire
Favorite Movies:  Evil Dead, Star Wars.
Favorite Games: D&D, Mount and Blade, Dark Souls.
Favorite Shows: Dr. Who.
Favorite Music: All flavors of rock, some rap, a small amount of disco, and old pop songs.
Favorite Bands: AC/DC
Favorite Songs: He doesn’t remember the names of any of them.
Favorite Sports: Kabbatta, Blood Bowl, Rugby, Boxing, Sabre Fencing, Judo, Video Games,
Favorite Stores: Barnes & Noble, Crazy Ed’s Scientific Surplus
Favorite Subjects: Your Mom
Favorite Numbers: What is this, a fucking fortune cookie!?
Favorite Websites: CYS, BHB, NS, and other nice alphabet soups.
Favorite Words: Fuck, Shit, Scheisse, Blarsted, Oregano, Azkaban, Vitamin, El Dorado, Crocodile.
Favorite Quotations: “I never said half the shit people on the internet say I did”- George Washington

Least Favorite Colors: Red, Puce, Orange,
Least Favorite Animals: Cats, alligators.
Least Favorite Mythological Creatures: Boggarts
Least Favorite Places: Hell, Detroit, New York, Milwaukee,
Least Favorite Landmarks: The statue with the usernames of every EVE player on it.
Least Favorite Flavors: Cherry
Least Favorite Foods: Strawberry Pudding, Lutafisch
Least Favorite Drinks: Bubble Tea, Piss
Least Favorite Characters: Superman, Robin, Sonic, Tails, every miserable excuse for a creature that Capcom has ever given its shitty dialogue writers a chance to fuck up immeasurably.
Least Favorite Genre: Animal perspective
Least Favorite Books: The New 52
Least Favorite Movies:  Man of Steel
Least Favorite Games: Times Attack, Red Faction, Superman 64, ESO, Pachinko,
Least Favorite Shows: Supernatural, Dark Shadows
Least Favorite Music: Modern pop, Screamo, anything involving Hatsune Miku or other robo singers.
Least Favorite Bands: He can’t name any of them.
Least Favorite Songs: He can’t name any of them.
Least Favorite Sports: Soccer, Football, Baseball, anything ending in -ball.
Least Favorite Stores: Hot Topic
Least Favorite Subjects: Math.
Least Favorite Numbers: 666
Least Favorite Websites: Stormfront, Tumblr, e261
Least Favorite Words: Kike, incel, weeb, beta,
Least Favorite Quotations: “REEEEE”- Little Green Shithead.

Languages: Penguinite, Braille, English, Eldritch
Accent: Scottish
Voice: Low pitched.
Speech Impediments: He’s Scottish. It’s a wonder anyone can understand him.
Greetings and Farewells: “Oi, shithead!” “How you doin’?” “Hello there!” “See ya, plebe!” “Buh-bye.” “Piss off!”
State of Mind: “Hey, Silas, what’s your state of mind?” “Why are you making me write all this useless, un-sellable bullshit!?”
Compliment: “You got a nice… Uhh… You have… I’m sure you look good in cover-alls…”
Insult: “Go scrape the fungus out of your mother’s distended anus, you autistic, assborn, incest-baby!”
Expletive: “Sunnuva Bjelte.”
Laughter: He has a breathy sort of pirate laugh, like Tim Currey, but less serial-killer-y.
Tag Line: “Fuckin’”
Signature Quote: “Kill them! We can’t trust farm animals! Oinkman has lists! He has connections!

Reputation: “He’s a funny asshole.”
First Impressions: (What would you first think of this character upon meeting them?) “He’s a funny asshole, but I’d rather not say that to his face.”
Stranger Impressions: (If someone was told about the character but didn't know them, what would they think?) “How does he get away with all that shit!?”
Friendly Impressions: (What do people who are friends or acquaintances of your character think of them?) “He’s… An acquired taste…”
Enemy Impressions: (What do people who can't stand your character think? If you can't think of anyone who hates your character, we have a problem.) “THAT PLAN-MEDDLING, MASS-MURDERING LITTLE TWAT! I’LL KILL HIM FOR REAL ONE OF THESE DAYS!”
Familiar Impressions: (What do people very close to your character think of them? Ex: Family, lovers) “He’s adorable! Like an angry little Donald Duck!”
Compliments: “He could almost qualify as a magnificent bastard, if any of his plans were actually sane enough to work smoothly.”
Insults: “He’s a primitive, drunken, silverware-worshipping, fatass-fucking buffoon that offends Scotsmen everywhere.”
Self-Impression: “God, I am amazing!

MBTI Personality Type: ENFP
Temperament: Sanguine

Enneagram: The Challenger

Ego/Superego/Id: Superego
The Self: Joy
The Shadow: Villainy
The Anima/Animus: I’m not going to pretend I understand what the fuck the wikipedia article on this was trying to tell me,  but I wouldn’t doubt Silas has some effeminate qualities sometimes.
Persona/Mask: Silas speaks his mind and doesn’t particularly give a fuck who hears it. He is his own persona.

Role: Protector
Fulfillment: By slaying vicious, otherworldly forces of evil and death.
Significance:

 

“Son, we live in  multiverse that has walls, and those walls have to be guarded by men (and women) with steel testicles. (Or ovaries, as the case may be.) Who’s gonna do it? You, Ford, you evil lying pussy!? Silas has a greater responsibility than you can possibly fathom! You weep for that farmer’s son in Dunwich and curse the professor that shot him. You have that luxury. You have the luxury of not knowing what he knows-- That the death of that intermediary between us and the Outer Beings, while tragic, saved lives. While his existence, while gross and incomprehensible to you, saves lives.

 

You don’t want the truth, because deep down, in places you get checked for parasites every month, you want him on that wall! You NEED him on that wall! We use words like “Honor” “Code”, and “Loyalty” as the backbone of a life spent defending worlds. You use them as a punchline!

 

He has all the free time and the free inclination to explain himself, in a very loud, very angry brogue, to the plebes that rise and sleep under the very blanket of freedom that he provides, and then question the manner in which he provides it! I would rather you just said “thank you” and pissed off, otherwise pick up some silver bullets and stand the post. Either way, I don’t give two winged wizard shits what the fuck you think you’re entitled to!”

 

“Did he send velociraptors to assassinate Huey Long?”

 

“He did the job he was supposed to do!”

“DID HE SEND VELOCIRAPTORS TO ASSASSINATE HUEY LONG!?”

 

“FUCK YOU! HE PROBABLY DID!”

 

Van Helsing when questioned about the sudden death of America’s first dictator in the Time Traveler’s court.


Alignment: Chaotic Good.
Comparison: A Rooster, probably.
Symbol: None that I know of...
Song: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=784k3EEuZYA&
Vice: Wrath
Virtue: Diligence
Defining Moment: When he truly became more than just a soldier, by unleashing his inner bonafied badass and bludgeoned the leader of the Harthyrian Army to death with the back of his own throne, then met the god who had been subtly helping him all along.
Tropes: He’s a boisterous, ornary scotsman who drinks too much and swings giant swords.
Originality: He’s a happily married, sort-of-responsible father who travels through space and time to kill dangerous things.
One Word: Jackass

Holy sheet...!

8 years ago

A1 use of Harry Enfield.

Holy sheet...!

8 years ago

*sits the fuck down*

Holy sheet...!

8 years ago

ADDENDUM:

Shoe size: 15. Apparently that's the average for dudes at 6'3".

Type: Probably all the primary colors and some orange involved. I don't usually write about Silas and Angela's relationship, so I don't really have anything established as to what's going on there, but it's probably everything except green and/or purple.

Element: Tried googling it. I don't understand this pagan hippy mother gaia shit, and I'm not sure what the fuck quiz I'm supposed to take, because each one of them looks like they're making up their own bullshit just to sound cool/wise around their friends. The first quiz I took gave me "Metal", so I guess that's what I'll go with.