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So hypothetically, let's say you become emperor of the world, as in you are in supreme power over the people of the world as the head of a new world government. Maybe it turns out your dad was a powerful ancient king and he just forgot to mention it, maybe you were voted in because your name is only one letter off a politician who's actually good and charming and you were voted in because their name's spelt weird and yours is normal, maybe your skills with lizards had the Reptillians put you in power, or maybe you just Game of Throne'd your way to Emperor. 

Anyhow, if you were the Emperor of the World and had absolute power, what are some of the changes that would be top of list? Getting the world back to a more moral and religious background, legalizing all drugs for the craic, becoming a brutal dictator to ensure you stay in power, or just turning the world back into a democracy because of "morals"?

Ban reproduction and pass a law forcing every citizen to enroll in one of my numerous divided armies. The armies will spend countless time fighting each other until their numbers dwindle into nothingness. Victors of any great war must commit suicide in celebration. Th more brutal soldiers will be rewarded for their cruelty with cyanide pills. Failure to comply with any of these laws will be considered a capitol offense.

Have countries stay away from each others affairs. If two countries started a war with each other then have the entirety of the world be against them until they were put in check. Have every country focus purely technology and steamroll new innovations until.

1.We perfected immortality/cryogenics or just becoming a cyborg.

2.Ability to colonize planets.

3.Ability for everyone to space travel as if it was as simple as driving and buying a car.

4. Ability to live inside a computer in your own fantasy land.

Then I would just ditch earth and live on my own in space.

I think it would partly depend on how I got to throne. But other than that, I would standardize education, strive for advances in STEM fields and some innovative arts, prohibit destruction of major/key natural habitats, and discourage religions, especially those that are patriarchal (basically, all the major ones).

Procrastinate until a rebellion overthrows me and executes me.

But really, if I could do that, I'd just step down or something. I wouldn't make a good ruler. People are talking about what they would do, but they're not taking into account that you still have to rule people. The stress would get to you eventually, and, considering I'm not much of a leader, I'd fuck everything up.
 

I would focus all the resources in the world to the creation of Prey 2 and Silent Hills.

I would enforce this law in the hopes that the quality of life will be improved for all of my subjects.

"In the situation where one would want to make and consume a ham sandwich, these strict guidelines set by Emperor Bannerlord must be obeyed. In the situation that these guidelines are NOT obeyed, then the specific individual who committed this crime, his closest family and friends, and anyone who may have been affiliated to the individual will be terminated. The previously mentioned guidelines are listed below.

1. When the individual has made the decision to make a ham sandwich, then that individual must seek out the nearest authoritative figure and state the following words:

"I, with the upmost confidence, have made the decision to make a ham sandwich and I am positive that I can achieve any obstacle that Emperor Bannerlord may or may not have made mandatory within the guidelines."

Failure to cite the statement above word-by-word will lead to immediate termination by the authoritative figure.

2. If the individual has successfully cited the statement, then the individual will recede back to his/her domain with the authoritative figure. Then the individual will get out the ingredients for making a ham sandwich and call his/her spouse. If the individual does not have a spouse, then one of his/her family members will act as a substitute. While the individual is making his/her ham sandwich, his spouse/family member and the authoritative figure will remove their clothing and engage in intercourse near the individual. The individual must keep a face completely devoid of emotion, if the authoritative figure notices any kind of emotion displayed, then he/she will cease the intercourse and then immediately terminate the individual. Once the individual is done making his/her ham sandwich, then the authoritative figure will cease the intercourse, put on his/her clothes and leave the residence. The individual may then enjoy his/her ham sandwich.

Disclaimer:

In the event where an authoritative figure unfairly executed an individual, then that authoritative figure will receive a full 10 minutes of time out. We are not responsible for anything an authoritative figure may do to your spouse/member during intercourse. The authoritative figure will receive no punishment for anything he/she may do to your spouse/family member during intercourse. If the authoritative figure climaxes in the spouse's/family member's clitoris or the spouse/family member climaxes in the authoritative figure's clitoris than the baby is the authoritative figure's in both cases. In the case of termination while the second part is in process, then the authoritative figure may finish the intercourse if he/she so wishes. If the spouse/family member objects, then the individual will be immediately terminated."

I guess if I ruled the world I would make anatomy classes mandatory to prevent embarrassing mistakes like the one above.

I'd probably give my twenty sons some more hugs.

18/19 sons. You don't talk about two of them, and you're not even sure what the duck is going on with the twins.

Or maybe killing Erebus is an option......

I would most likely die within a few weeks/months of my reign :)

D: Whyy?? You'd be a really nice leader! Unless it's from stress, nobody would try to assassinate you (unless they're insane killers with chipped axes).

 

First off, I'm not insane, just crazy. Learn the difference.

Also, I'd use swords as they're much more efficient.

I would say the most efficient weapon would be the MOP(I mean the bomb, not the thing you use to wipe the floor), but that's kind of overkill :3

I could think of a couple of ways to kill you with a mop.

I'm small enough to be suffocated by a mop, I think. And stabbed with a broken piece is also an option.

Swords are actually a very defensive weapon. Axes are much more efficient, as far as raw killing potential goes. Swords sacrifice some of that in exchange for armor negotiation, grappling, parrying, and all those other useful-but-not-really-lethal things.

True, but if I had to kill the leader of the world, likely guarded by the world's best warriors, wouldn't defensive options be more viable?
Besides, swords allow for slower, more painful deaths.

EDIT: Or I could use knives dipped in venom.

EDIT 2: Or insert chemicals into his neck. Maybe something hot to boil his blood from within before quickly pulling out his organs and eating them in front of his eyes as he panics from the rapid and painful activity of his interior disassembling body.

(Mmm, turkey.)

I would probably not panic as I die.
I think I like the knife ending the best.

You mean to tell me that if a hypothetical substance caused a chemical reaction throughout your bloodstream, rapidly releasing heat to the point where your inner body temperature was far above what it should naturally be, you'd be calm?

Dammit, Seto, now I've got to think of new methods to assassinate you.

Yes. :3 Already been through the whole blood boiling me alive thing.

(I fear dolls if that helps you with anything. They creep me out.)

That is more disturbing than scary. xD

It depends on your style of combat. Some would prefer to go at the world's best warriors with an axe, others might want a sword. Some would rather dual-wield shields.

Thank you! Chipped axes :D My army shall have weapons resembling axes.

I would be a nice leader, but it needs more than kindness to rule a world. Besides, people would still try to assassinate me for power even if I'm nice :)

?That's totally true... I guess there's always people who disagree with something and are power-hungry... Or just crazy assassins with pretty little swords.

Augustus. Barring that... Nero.

You might find these interesting if you haven’t seen them already. (Amusing stick figure illustrations inside!)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rStL7niR7gs

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ig_qpNfXHIU

Those are quite cool.

Develop superpower technologies/bioenhancement, become ambiguously unstoppable for whatever reason, eliminating the need to treasure up my government leaders for their loyalty, thus eliminating several steps of corruption an exempting me from the pattern of moneygrubbing and alliance-squabbling that every dictator before me has fallen into. Immediately destroy the superman thing so I become the only one. Everyone stays in line because I am superpotent and can destroy them, not because I have to go through the endless cycle of treasure and de-facto bribery.

With that difficult shit out of the way, now I can simplify the budget and focus on providing for the needs of everyone, and spreading whatever birthmark I may have to 8% of all children thousands of years after I'm dead.

Damn... w-what birthmarks do you have?

I'll have to find one. All I know is that if I have one, it'll be a damn sight less noticable than a blue ass.

It would depend on how well my morality system would function when I have absolute power.

First, I'd make the world's abortion laws just like Northern Ireland's. Then, I'd make a rule that any country that attacks Israel or Taiwan would thereby be at war with all other nations on the planet. (Why not?) I'd destroy ISIS using the world's military, make Iran a pro-sane country, and create the nation of Kurdistan. Then, I'd have three options to go down.

A. Path of Being Sane
I would then relinquish power to all nations as they previously were though I would force China to hold elections (under scrutiny from the UN or some agency that I could trust) every four years. I'll thus write a book about being world dictator and live the rest of my life off of its royalties.

B. I Become an Arse
I would split Ireland between Northern Ireland and the United States. Steve would then be forced to work with the Northern Ireland government to write pro-Norther Ireland propaganda. I would force Disney to give me the plot details of the upcoming movies and to make a moving parodying Jar Jar Binks. Then, I'd ban rap music. Then, I'd follow step A except that these things stay in place as well.

C. I Loose my Mind
I give Malk 10,000 capybaras to control and then descend into a massive film version of a Caligula-style descent into madness. Then, I'd die from some STD after banning Steve from ever holding any sort of governmental power.

I would choose C. It seems most interesting.

Besides, "The Royal Capybara Army" would surely strike fear into everyone's hearts. After we all stop "awww"ing over them.

STDs have to have some sexual interaction to spread, hence there's no way you'd die from it. Also, I acknowledge no such place as Northern Ireland or any despicable abortion laws such a fanciful place may or may not hold. 

It's adorable that you want to give Malk a gift, though. I have a soft spot for young love, I admit.

I thought the capybaras would be quite a memorable army. Plus, he'd have something to do rather than grumble. As for the STD's didn't you understand my reference showing why I'd got one or more? BTW, if the USA ever kicks the bucket, NI is one of my places I wouldn't mind living. :)

Sure, memorable army. Jesus, you're less obvious than End and Thara. 

What's NI?

Northern Ireland aka the better Ireland. Perhaps I should add that one to my list of things to do as dictator. "Make Steve acknowledge that Ireland is inferior to Northern Ireland."

What, like Donegal? Are you talking about Donegal? Because Donegal's pretty cool.

Clearly, you've doctored this photo. I literally have no idea what this is. If you'll read Bunreacht na hEireann, the Republic encompasses the entirety of the island of Ireland and all its citizens.

So, if the US adds an amendment to our Constitution claiming the Republic of Ireland as our own territory, would that apply as well? We have as much claim to a people who have chosen to be not part of your country as y'all do. New rule as emperor: "Steve is not allowed to acknowledge the Republic of Ireland as a real state."

I'd just prevent Steve from communicating in general. He can still just convince someone ELSE to say that Ireland is a state. Skip the middle-thing. Or just work your way up to restricting all of his rights and communications every time he tries to do something, since the purpose of this particular path seems to be just that it would piss off Steve.

Who the fuck gives a shit about your Constitution? That's dog shit that's not worth the paper it's printed on. No, it's our constitution, founded on the backs of great men like Michael Collins, Eamon DeValera and Arthur Griffiths that matters.

Who?

I don't know, your so-called "founders" all look the same to me. 

I kek'd too hard.

You dog-shit racist bastard.

It's not racism if you're white

you're irish? Me too! Top o' the mornin' to ya! :D

What say we go get a pint of guinness and watch Father Ted aka the pope of southern ireland. Are you from north or south ireland? I'm from north so I can't really distinguish the irish accent from the british accent all that well.

We should riverdance together some day and listen to U2. I didn't live in ireland for very long so I never saw a leprechaun, have you seen one before? Do you have your own pot o' gold or is it just a leperchaun thing?

Pfffh, you're not Irish. An Irishman can always recognize one of his kin.

“Worse Ireland”

Lol.

Making China hold elections isn't going to change much. At best, they'll cycle through chairmen, at worst, it'll become even more of a corporation-reliant police state that lobbyists will utterly control.

Weird China's specified as well.

Oh, I'm not qualified to talk about Weird China. That's an entirely different beast. If they held elections there, kung fu maniacs  would start strong-arming everyone into voting Zombie Liu Ziye back into power so that local authorities will provide them with free catapults to stop the Jiangshi uprising. All for naught, though, because every Christmas Genghis Claus comes to take land from all the good boys and girls and men and women and kill all the naughty boys and girls and women and children... Even though nobody involved in this situation actually celebrates Christmas. All hell would presumably break loose until someone like Blue Cloth Knight shows up to sort things out.

Focus entirely on technology, education and military and worry less about religion - it'll still be out there, of course, but isn't the main priority whatsoever. Try harder to push kids with shitty grades to do better. I mean actually try. Those sticky-fingered mini-thots are going to be the future of the world, and if they're about as intelligent as a rock, they won't get too far. Those below a C- who clearly don't try will suffer severe punishments. Those between the C- and B- region are encouraged to try. B- and up is fine. High B and A students are rewarded due to the fact that they aren't being tortured like the dumbasses are.

Oh, and if any group tries to rebel, just send some forces over to massacre the shit out of their population.

Yes, force your tedious and broken education system on everyone with brutality! THAT'S not going to cause a stir in the ENTIRE WORLD you're governing. You'll hardly have any kids/citizens left. At least ones that aren't indoctrinated parrots.

I would do everything in my power to make my life more comfortable and then I would focus everything on technology and take over the solar system. Then, if aliens exist, I would try to unite them under my rule or enslave them if I had to, along with less important stuff that i'll get to later.

I would execute anyone with political or economic power, as well as anyone who harbors ill will towards me or has any leadership potential, leaving me as the only person that has any chance of maintaining a balanced society that won't fall into anarchy.

Once i have done that however, it will be survival of the fittest. Every man for themselves. I would let the world fall into anarchy and i'd disappear. Like Emperor Nero of Rome was rumored to have done in the great fire of Rome, i will watch as the world burns.

Oooh. I like that.

I also like this.

Oh hey, you have a little Hitler in you.

Everyone has a little Hitler in them, Mason.

It's a subconscious, chauvinistic Hitler.

Why chauvinistic?

Maybe she was referring to herself?

I was referring to [this one short story I forgot the name of] by Virginia Wolfe where she says that men have a inner "subconscious Hitlerism". But it certainly can apply to myself for, ah, certain things.

(Thanks Zag I thought we were friends T_T)

this doesn't mean anything i spew incoherent filth into the forums at will

Oh. Okay.

Lol. It's logical for people with power like that to rid of threats to power; kingdoms, empire, friggin America (with the fights for majorities in the branches).

Absolute power corrupts absolutely.

And i'm already really corrupt so...

Let's infect everyone!!! MWAHAHAHAHA TOTALITARIANISM!

Note: jk

Master plan:

Once I have taken over the world through elimination of world leaders, I will divide the world into districts based on skills and ethnicities. The worker districts will gather resources and not given much money, but will be provided moderate dwellings. The fighter districts will be formed into protection, law enforcement, and other military needs. The science districts will research new technologies and focus on giving me extraordinary Psyker powers going to space. The most gifted from the districts will be put into the government, ruling over the district they come from.

Yeah, pretty boring.

Good to know you're a white seperatist, Mason.

So Panem, just with out the yearly televised child slaughter?

Maybe without the slaughter.

Well if it's a maybe... can i take the job of head gamemaker when if it happens?

Yes.

I'm scared to ask what would become of me.

Prepare yourself people... i don't plan on letting you escape unscathed... mentally, emotionally, and physically.

My body is ready.

What exactly are you suggesting? D:

I'm ready for the scathing that Wiggly shall bring unto me.

"Scathing" + "Wiggly" + "unto me" Okaaay.... *shies away*

Do you really deserve scathing though? What would you have done against he empire/kingdom/whatever?

The real question is, what haven't I done?

Good point... Get a girlfriend?

Haha, nope. I've got that one under my belt.

Yep.

Well, true. If you could rule the world you could have as many as you want.

I only want one tho. I only need one

Aww that's so sweet. Finally, a nice male ruler. *gives you pat on back for accomplishment of promised fidelity*

Are you suggesting a harem?

So, she's under your belt, eh?

*facedesk*

>_>

Not like that, Boss.

Can I be your assistant?

You can be an unpaid intern.

In that case can I take the wallet of the people we slaughter?

... Why ethnicities? Shouldn't it just be skills? Or are you actually a supremist lol? I like the idea, but is that really possible? It would be really hard and confusing to separate everyone and reorganize them across the world.

It's just a little joke, if I became leader I would literally step down to let somebody else be leader.

Seriously.

I'd be terrible.

Dividing races isn't supremacist, it's seperatist. Mason never said specific races would get more power or are better than others.

Pretty much I'm just implying people who are better with certain jobs are put with other people of their skill.

Stop being racist.

Separate people by their sexual orientation instead.

Then the world would be much happier. Too happy.

Yes. The destruction of the entire human race through separation of sexually complementary humans into divisions in which they cannot reproduce and therefore not continue the human race.

Gender is not sexual orientation.

They still can't reproduce unless the females are implanted with sperm.

End said he'd seperate them by sexual orientation, not gender. That doesn't mean females go one place and men the other, it means straight people go to one place and gays another.

Okay. I'm now going to face away from the computer for ten minutes to let my eyes regain their sight.

...?

They were masturbating.

Now i need to do the same thing as Crescent... Thanks tim.

No problemo, m8.

Tim, buddy, kill yourself.

Two steps ahead of you, m8.

WAIT NO WHAT??? I was trying to admit my mistake indirectly... You know what never mind. You guys are just... *sigh*

Pffft.

It was a joke, because the myth that masturbation damages your eyes.

But, y'know, if you actually were, that's fine too.

Uh... No. Just no.

Tim, do you have kids yet?

No. The state of California has deemed it unlawful and unwise for my gene structure to be reproduced.

Are you kidding? I thought the only thing you'd be allowed to be would be a dad.

I think it would've be nice to have a child. They are just adorable. I think I could have also been a better father than mine.

But alas.

I could not find a suitable host body, and even if I did, I have been sterilized by government officials 

What Steve said.

Really folks this is fucking remedial. 9_9

What do you mean by, "remedial"? You've said it quite a few times before, but I don't think it means what you think it means, Master End.

It is a Morgan_R joke.

Bah, surely you've lurked long enough to know the running joke.

Here, learn your history, scrub.

http://chooseyourstory.com/forums/the-lounge/message/15931

Fun fact:

That thread is the new resting place of the AST Graveyard. It was first uncovered by Sentinel Penguin.

The More You Know!

Damn it! I just realized what this post meant. I got so excited when I the graveyard for myself. Could you have have said it earlier in a more obvious and eye alluring way, Tim? That would have been nice.

Also, @EndMaster I'm sad that temporaryslave isn't on there.

Hey, I put italics.

You should just read all my posts by default.

I'll add that to the list of unwritten written rules.

"Everyone is strongly encouraged to read all of Tim's posts."

I mean, everyone already does that with Ford.

Addendum: "Everyone is strongly encouraged to read Tim and Ford's posts"

People read my posts?

I do.

I am unnerved by the fact that there seems to be a consensus that near everyone reads my posts and that I did not know about this unwritten rule.

Sometimes it's better not to know.

I speak for everyone on this site when I say that we need a new meme

You speak for yourself. I'm perfectly fine using this one.

Yeah, it's getting old, though I probably get more enjoyment out of it than most since I started using it first.

(Sort of like coins' mom. OH!)

After looking through the ENTIRE thread again I never saw anyone bring up the wrong use of word. Someone had to.

Morgan said "remedial" in the opening post.

we should make a suicide meme. something like hanging ourselves with something other than rope. But what could possibly be used in place of a rope??

Our own epididymides. This entire thread makes me want to hang myself with my own epididymis.

confirmed: zag is too new to get it

You're referencing the thread End linked right? Wasn't the joke like, stranhling people with fetuses?

nope. joke went right over your noobish head. I'm sure some old fart will come and tell us what can be used instead of a rope to hang yourself.

Step one: Got a belt?

Damn it. I knew it was going to something as commonplace as this, but overthought it. 

Step two: Grab the belt.

Almost made it to the end. Ran out of brain cells and faith in humanity.

It degenerated at the end honestly. I thought it was funny how Slasher and Playa just ended up arguing with people.

I stand by everything that was said.

You stole my joke.

You said ethnicity. Don't hide it. Don't worry, I feel your pain. White power! https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aFyfE8jafM8

Just.....no. XD

Pffh, you're a race traitor fighting against the evidence, Mason. White's are clearly a superior people.

Well, I'm constantly called Hitler because I'm the only blond haired kid in my school.

So, yeah? No.

Why? Have those insufferable derelicts ever looked in a history book before? Hitler wasn't even blond. If they called you a Nazi, that would be different.

Dye your hair blue and then see what they call you.

... BLITLER!

That's actually a catchy song. I like it, despite it being about white supremacy and such.

Oops. Sorry. Wrong words for wrong times.

This thread gave me an idea. Somebody should make an RP where you make your own government and interact with other players countries.

It's been done, it's called Nation States and some CYSer were already involved.

https://www.nationstates.net/region=cystia

I meant on-site in a forum game. Also already knew about that.

Im going to change my entire government. Im going to divide the entire earth into 30 or so sectors but 20 out of the 30 have major government issues and im going to wait to see how long it takes them to rebel against the government. If the rebels defeat the government they get control of the sector. The rules are no nukes or major bombings and no going outside of that sector. Breaking the rules results in being tortured and killed. Also, any disobedience from the rebels will be punished by death. As for normal law changes, you will have to have a huge m tattooed on your back upon taking any sort of government job and any disobedience will be punished by death. If you don't kneel when I walk by, you will be jailed for 1 month. Now I need to think of more stupid laws that benefit me.

I'd use my limitless power to create a utopia in which everyone speaks for everyone :D

BOOOOOOO!

I'm sorry it's not good enough for you :c

I could've went on about how anyone who disobeyed the natural order of the utopia is executed swiftly. But then that would turn the utopia into a dystopia.

Well, I mean, what would count as disobeying?

Not speaking for everyone else..?

>.>

Using my supreme leader powers, I'd use a lot of my efforts in curbing climate change and preserving the environment and wildlife. Then I would cure overpopulation by killing all anti-semites and racists. After that, I'd probably just roll around in my unlimited money. 

Why would you kill anti-semites?

Why would you kill anti-semites?

Why would you kill anti-semites?

Why would you kill anti-semites?

Danaos will be here all week folks.

I'm actually not clear on the difference between an anti-semite and a racist. But I'm curious why it's acceptable to kill one but not the other.

I'm sad I'm going to bed now, this thread will be split and the Danaos portion nuked by morning if history repeats itself.

(Are Jews okay in his book if they're consensually raping children, at least?)

Anti-semites hate Jews, racists hate one or more races. Also, I said kill racists and anti-semites. The world's overpopulated so might as well get rid of those kinds.

See, I was seeing anti-semite as someone that hates the religion of Judaism. If you're going to kill someone for hating a religion, why not kill anyone that discriminates against a Muslim, Christian, or any other religion that is relevant? Also, how would you define someone as being racist? It's a label that's been abused to the point that anyone can be considered "racist" these days. I think you'll end up unintentionally killing people that don't deserve to die. That's just wrong.

I'm not sure where 'deserving' or 'wrong' comes into it. I think you might be missing the point of this entire thread.

I probably am. 

It's not your fault.

Just out of curiosity, did anyone else in this thread make plans for the world you'd consider wrong?

Yeah. Why has this been happening? It's like the mods feel obligated to nuke my posts whenever they show up. I can't even start a thread without having to worry about the mods coming in and deleting it. It's very unfair.

Please don't go Ryder on us.

No idea what you're referencing.

Well, that's a complete shame.

Ryder is an alleged cat molester and self-proclaimed zoophile. He's sworn to destroy the site on his 16th birthday, which is in about three years. I've worked underneath him in an effort to see if he was a real threat. He attempted to form an underground resistance against the CYS administration, but that failed.

The Mods used to delete most of his threads, and he has a strong sense of hate for the site that has been repressed in recent occurrences. 

I'm not making this up. >_>

Find it hard to believe Danaos doesn't know who Ryder is given how long he's been here.

And I'm not even sure what Dan is bitching about, I haven't deleted any of his threads/posts.

My activity has been off and on. I don't really pay attention to too much as it pertains to the uprising of different trolls/shitposters/whatever.

I still like the site, but I'm just like wtf. Even if you haven't, the point remains that a decent amount of my recent posts and threads have been deleted. I mean, if I make a thread about a topic that I am actually interested in discussing in depth, I can expect the thread to be nuked within a few days - without fail.

EDIT: Okay, I don't care about the threads being deleted as much as I do seeing what happened that led to it being deleted. Do you know how frustrating it is to see the notification on my screen only to realize the thread isn't there anymore. That just makes me desperately want to know what the final posts were.

Why wouldn't you kill all anti-semites?

You might need some of them to help with the space program or something related to science I guess.

You're getting ahead of yourself though, you have to perfect the thought scanning helmets before this can remotely be a thing.  Otherwise you're just killing the ones who are bad at faking.

How else would we elect a Twitter troll into the oval office?

... freedom and free speech?

Ah, right, the most cherished American ideals.

But Steve, we're talking about scenarios where a CYS forum member is in charge of the world, meaning those that die swiftly are to be envied.

 

Keep that in mind when I nuke the Middle East. I'd be doing it in a nice way.

I'd like to say that I'd be all noble and shit, but I'd probably just commit sex crimes until they behead my ass

Send massive teams of engineers, laborers, and educators to third world countries with armed guards to improve general infrastructure and do what I can to erase prejudice and traditional beliefs that decrease the quality of life of those that practice them.

Initiate a massive crop harvesting, food producing program with an extensive distribution program so the world doesn't have to worry about where it's next meal where come from.

Increase wages where necessary, and fund a multitude of low income housing projects world wide in an effort to reduce homelessness.

Decriminalize all personal drug use, offer free rehabilation paid for by the government for all addicts. Also legalize prostitution, albeit with some restrictions.

Ban minimum sentencing guidelines and encourage sentencing that avoids prison when applicable. Seriously, it's crazy that 16-21 year old kids can get 8 years in a state penitentiary for a crime they committed before their brains are fully formed. Sending them to that environment at that age only fucks them over for the rest of their life, and increases their odds of reoffending.

Ban job applications from asking if you've been convicted of a crime. The company can still ask at a scheduled interview, and do background checks as they please. They may also choose not to hire someone convicted of a crime if they choose to do. 

Make education and healthcare a natural born right, setting up public clinics and colleges for all who choose to attend.

Declare myself Supreme Ruler of All, kill those who dissent, and form a new branch of government devoted entirely to sex slavery for the Supreme Ruler of All.

Make pedophilia 100% legal everywhere just to piss playa off. 

Well, at least your mom would make more cash from the increased clientele.

damn playa got no mercy

nice

You, good sir, have gained my respect.

Gotta put those kids on the streets to pay for mom's crippling but legal addictions.

 I'd probably just do some strategic bombing and then force the general populace back to 19th century technology. (Which would still be a step up for much of the world...) The common people could still have lights, refrigerators, plumbing and health care I guess, but the transitory generation of first worlders likely to do the most whining would be kept busy growing their food. Next generation only gets an eighth grade education and will consider this the norm so good luck with that rebellion thing.

Social issues I don't give a shit about, they could be voted on region by region I guess. If someone was unhappy where they were they could just load Ma and the pigs into a wagon and take them the next county over where they could legally marry them both.

Me, I'll spend most of my time in my palace playing video games.

 

 

This was just a random idea that popped in my head, but I have to say I'm really warming up to it now. You'll all be very happy and content in the peaceful agrarian utopia I'm going to provide. Everyone alive will be.

Thinking about those Rules for Rulers videos, it seems that only works if you assume all keys are interested in is money and power in a very sociopathic manner, and all keys are intelligent, both of which are false. It seems when Emperor Steve comes to power, the best path is to build myself a delightful cult of personality. Even during the Show Trials, many of those being purged insisted that this was a mistake and Stalin would know they were loyal, even maintaining this "Stalin is great!" ideology until their death. Using a vaguely religious method, I'd make myself out to be a great savior of humanity, and ensure my loyal supporters who wholeheartedly believe this would follow me into power. Thus, the power remains in my hands and I get to build my perfect world.

ADMIN EDIT: Pic is too big, and I'm too lazy to fix it at this time. Deleted. You posted an appropriate sized one further down anyway.

Move along citizen...

We all know who's going to support this.

This is too big D:

Dogs.

My new profile picture agrees with this.

IT'S SOOOOO CUUUITEEEE!!

Kiba is the best character.

I would just do what the qu?een of England does but have some slaves to do my bidding. Also make sure to have a child.