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Desert Island List

8 days ago
Since the Lounge has been pretty dull.

You're on your way to be exiled to an island. You will be alone for the next seven years.

Thanks to ~magic~, powering your entertainment devices is not an issue, but they're limited to only the specific items you choose to bring along.

...I guess I'll let you keep MSWord and MSPaint as well, whatever.

All your things are weatherproof, but you aren't. You'll be required to build your own shelter out of palm trees and rocks. Clothes, medicine etc. are free, don't worry about those.

Now the point of the thread is that you're allowed to pack a limited number of things before you go, and must decide what to take with you.

You get to bring along:

*7 hand tools
OR
*Trade five of them in for one power tool.

Nails are free.

*7 types of seeds or animals. That's seven in total, not seven each. (As far as freebie cooking options, the island can provide coconuts, salt and fresh water, and fish. Yes, you will need to consider how what you're going to feed any animal you bring along. Oh, and no worries about climate or soil type, due to the aforementioned ~magic~)

If you can demonstrate your ingredients were well thought out in regards to ~synergy~ and provide at least one example recipe utilizing all of them, you may throw in a seven year supply of any one spice for free.

*7 books. Collections count as one book only if you can point to it existing as a physical copy somewhere. You can get the complete works of Shakespeare in one slim 1392 page volume, for instance.

*7 movies.
OR
*Trade five movies in for one complete TV series'

7 albums. As in seven specific, existing collections by specific artists or bands.

7 games. Computer, console, mobile, whatever. Don't worry about what you'll be running it on. You can even bring a deck of cards or board games to fill these slots if you want. Or I'll even count a CYOA book or tabletop resource as a game if you'd rather save one of your book slots.

As a freebie: 1 personal item not easily reproduced with natural materials. Can't require power.



Feel free to describe your building strategy and seven years of utopic idyll/hellish loneliness in as much or little detail as you like.

Desert Island List

7 days ago
*single bit axe, chisel without a handle, back saw, ruler, utility knife, nylon mason's line, file.

Axe is the versitile tool. If you got to pick one tool to take in the wilderness - take an axe. It's a hammer, it's a weapon, it will drive stakes, you can use it for skinning and gutting game if you need to. Chisel - without a handle you can make a plane, a detachable handle for it, and if you have a chisel and a way to get wood you can make a mallot. back saw - if you can bring a slanted tip one, better; but if you can't it works anyways. back saw keeps the saw line just about as straight as possible with a hand saw. A ruler to make straight lines and use a utility knife against it to make extra sharp straight lines to saw down and chisel. Nylon masons line - you can cut through just about anything, shit's strong and the friction is absolutely indespensible. And a file to keep everything sharp.

Helps that I have a bit of experience woodworking and metalworking I guess; but with these tools pretty much any structure or other useful hand tool can be made.

*3 potatoes, aloe, 3 wild boars (2 female, 1 male).

Potatoes - gods best creation in terms of food. They grow anywhere anytime all the time and go with everything and are packed with nutrients. Aloe for the medicinal properties. Wild boars will literally eat anything - let them loose on the island and they'll survive and thrive on their own. Hunt them a year later and you'll be set.

*The Ultimate Hitchhikers Guide - Five Complete Novels and One Story by Douglas Adams, a calculus text book, Atlas Shrugged by Ayn Rand, Desk Ref by Thomas J Glover et al, survival medicinal book, the biggest possible blank notebook with the thickest guage paper available, and an art history text book.

Hitchhikers guide and atlas shrugged for fun. Calculus book to keep sharp. Desk ref has literally all the info about anything you could possibly ever want. I have the pocket ref and use it everyday. It's got everything from math equations to periodic tables to physical properties of matter to a list of physical constants to morse code and flag signals and how to make fire and water properties and fluid dynamics and all the rest - absolutely necessary. survival medical book because I know absolutely fuck all about medicine or life sciences. notebook with thick strong paper for planning and art or w/e. art history text book because I took art history and I know that book has an entire section on ancient architecture - simple architectural structures which held for centuries and have cross section plans? Of course it's useful! the rest of the book is relatively useless but I really just want the architecture section.

*every starwars movie except episode VII. so the first two trilogies and rouge one.

Not sure what use movies would be if I can't play them...

*Dark Side of the Moon by Pink Floyd, Back in Black by AC/DC, In A Time Lapse by Ludovico Einaudi,Journey Soundtrack, You Could Have It So Much Better by Franz Ferdinand, Franz Ferdinand by Franz Ferdinand, and Random Album Title by Deadmau5.

Pink Floyd for relaxing classics, ac/dc for energy, in a time lapse and journey ost to sleep to or meditate to, deadmau5 for diversity, and the two franz ferdinand albums to jam to.

*Deus Ex: Human Revolution and Mankind Divided, RimWorld, Elder Scrolls V: Skyrim, Civ VI, Rogue Legacy, and Dwarf Fortress.

Deus Ex HR and MD are both favorites of mine. RimWorld, Skyrim, Civ, and Dwarf Fortress will keep me busy infinitely. Rogue Legacy as a sort of break/buffer to the rest.

Personal item: my nice as fuck pencil full of lead.

Strategy:

With the handle tools a simple shelter in a day or two is easy as fuck. Could probably start on a workshop within a week or two. Food and water are going to be the main problems here - weapons won't be so difficult to make but may be difficult to use. It'll take practice but nylon string and a nice long stick will probably get me a fish or two on their own presuming I catch some bugs with my hands. Coconut water sucks ass but you can make coconut oil and stuff from it just by hot rocking it and then that can be turned into a cheese like substance. The first few weeks of food and water will suck but potatoes will have grown by then - at least small ones. In a year or so the boars will have multiplied a lot. Kill one and cook a celebratory meal - dry out the rest as jerky and put in a wooden box with salt. Boars are hard to kill but all I need is one to last me a good few months or more of food. Use MS Word to document things. Notebook and pencil to map, draw, plan, et cetera. The main project would be improving shelter - not hard to go all Primitive TechnologyTM and make a mud house with a decent place for fire, especially given I have the most useful hand tools and the experience and interest to use them.

Concrete might be difficult but a foundation can be made of other things. Might try heat treating wood or something and putting it in the dirt and compacting it as best I can with rope or w/e. Thena workshop can be built on top. Inside the next thing would probably be a coal forge. Metal comes from all sorts of places - even a small amount of iron can be used as an arrow tip. I think I'd be living pretty comfy after a year or two.

In about 10 years the boar population would get way out of control. They'd probably eat my potatoes and shit. I'd wage war with iron tools and math - they stand no chance. If I fuck that up though I'm dead - boars will def kill me if given the chance. Initial shelter must have a bed up high off the ground. Boar jerky must be stored probably underground away from my main shelter. A shop will likely be structurally sound enough to handle a boar ramming into it. Palm wood isn't really great - but managable. Wood glue is another thing missing. Might have to substitute or try to figure out how to make my own stickyness. If there's a hard wood around that'd be great - any oak or walnut would be the best. If nails are free then metal is essentially free cause I can just melt nails down and cast into weapons and sharpen with a file. Boom. Survive and thrive bitches.

Desert Island List

7 days ago
You have a computer that runs on magic, if I didn't make that clear, so watching your movies and playing your games is not an issue. It just comes with nothing else installed but Word, Paint, and maybe Minesweeper.

You also could swap aloe out because I said medicine is not a concern. For the purposes of this exercise, sparkle-winged fairies will leave a tube of burn cream or packet of Tylenol or whatever under your rock pillow as needed.

Actually you and beta were stricter about the food than I intended. It's OK to say you'll be growing potatoes, you don't need to use multiple slots for individual spuds. And again, climate and soil isn't something you need to worry about unless you're doing this in hard mode.

(Animals still need to be individuals however, no bringing an entire herd of cattle along.)

Desert Island List

7 days ago

Hammer, needle, axe, rope, flint and steel, knife, metal pot.

1 marijuana for obvious reasons, 2 potato, 1 cow, 1 chicken, 1 haberñer, one orange tee.

Books: 100 of the most beautiful piano solos, hitchhikers guide to the galaxy (The Ford One), American Medical Assosiation's Complete Medical Encyclopedia, The Night Circus, Going Bovine, I'll probably eventually get around to reading all of Eternal, and Batman: The Doom That Came to Gotham.

Hot Fuzz, Hot Rod, all of Futurama.

End Credits - EDEN, The Slim Shady LP - Eminem, The Complete Works of J.S. Bach - Bach,  N.W.A. Greatest Hits (World) -N.W.A., All Is Violent, All is Bright - God Is An Astronaut, ITYTTMOM - EDEN, MBDTF - Kanye West, Wolfgang Amadeus Phoenix - Phoenix

Chess (Computer), Dungeon Crawl Stone Soup, Borderlands 1 and 2, Skyrim, Rimworld, and Tekken 7.

Also a piano,

Desert Island List

7 days ago
hate to tell you this but flint and steel is hard to get down correctly. better off going for a magnese stick or a lighter than attempting to start a fire with flint and steel. you're more likely to just break the flint right off the bat without a lot practice (a lot = more than a days worth of hitting flint at just the right way with steel to create the sparks needed for a fire).

what's the needle for? I'm thinking of a sewing needle and I can't think of much use for one. What kind of hammer? A framing hammer like a stiletto or more like an estwing ripping hammer?

I recommend a rigging axe for anyone interested in getting the most out of the combination. It looks goofy on the job site but boy if you can use it you can do just about anything. It's a versitile tool but looks and feels a bit goofy.

How big of a knife? What kind of rope? a swiss army knife isn't going to get you anywhere just as much as twine won't do anything for you.

A segment on rigging axes and other hammers. starts at 4:10 but the video covers a lot of hammers and some other tools.

Desert Island List

6 days ago

Needle for clothing so I don't come back with skin cancer.

Desert Island List

6 days ago

If you're gonna be making your clothes out of hemp a needle isn't gonna be doing much. At least, that's what I assume you'd be getting cloth from. Where's the thread? 

Desert Island List

6 days ago

I have no idea.

Desert Island List

5 days ago

Didn't it say clothes are free?

Desert Island List

5 days ago
island people can't read

Desert Island List

7 days ago
Two full answers so far, but just FYI if someone only wants to talk about their island survival plans or only wants to talk about the entertainment they'll bring that's fine too. This was a combination of ideas because I was too lazy to make two threads, and I don't want people opting not to post because it's a lot of questions and they're lazy too. (But Ford wins the thread so far and just FYI I will be silently judgemental about the rest of you)

E: RULE CLARIFICATION:: for your fold options, it is okay to bring a potted tree just old enough to start producing. Tree seeds won't do you must good if you're only there for seven years.

Desert Island List

7 days ago

Tools: I've got a multitool that has like a hammer, two knives, a vice and a screwdriver. That counts as one. An axe. A more proper knife. Metal Pot. If we're using magic here, an infinite lighter would be useful. If not, flint and steel. Rope and lots of it. A shovel, or if there's animals and shit, a gun instead.

Seeds and Animals: Wheat, Potatoes, Carrots, Chicken, Goat, I kind of agree with Beta's Marijuana, Corn

7 Books: Is there a complete collection for Stephen King? That would be fucking massive, so that, or if not, It, by the same guy. Complete works of Dickens definitely exists, so toss that in there. To Kill a Mockingbird.  Complete works of Fyodor Dostoevsky, seeing as I've never read them. I feel there's definitely a Harry Potter Omnibus, and if not, the second one. Lord of the Rings is an omnibus, toss that in. The Ultimate Hitchhikers Guide

7 Movies: Dazed and Confused, Fury Road, Rocky Horror Picture Show, Pulp Fiction, Empire Strikes Back, Apocalypse Now and... fuck it, make it a really long orgy porno.

7 Albums: "Best of" Albums are cheating, aren't they? Fuck it, don't care. Greatest Hits Albums for Beatles, Queen, Rolling Stones, Dead Kennedys, Sex Pistols, Elton John and Dave Brubeck or Miles Davis, flip a coin there. 

Games: Fallout: New Vegas, Dawn of War I, some good form of Chess vs an AI, GTA V, Minecraft, Call of Duty: Modern Warfare 2 and Tetris.

Personal Item: Uh... I'd want to say my dog, but I don't know if living counts as personal, and also I don't want my dog to have to suffer on an island. So I suppose my couch. That'd be nice, and leaves are no substitute for that shit.

This was fun. I always liked these things. You should add more questions at some point, because this is one of the only Lounge threads I enjoy.

Desert Island List

7 days ago
The dog is okay as long as you promise not to eat or rape it.

Desert Island List

7 days ago

Changing wheat to apples and carrots to blueberries.

Desert Island List

7 days ago
link to the multitool or a picture? not sure how a hammer, a vice, and a knife could fit all in one and still be useful screwdriver is irrelevant since there are no screws on the island. The knife I can see - the vice not so much and the hammer on the end doesn't seem like it'd be useful at all given the structure of a multitool, but I'm just imagining things.

your couch is fucked m8. it'll suffer more than a dog on an island xD

Desert Island List

yesterday

Although it's been quite some time, I'd like to replace Empire Strikes back with War of the Buttons, because I was just reminded that film by a mate and felt desperate to change that choice.

Desert Island List

7 days ago

Tools 

  • hammer
  • saw
  • level
  • fixed-blade knife
  • measuring tape
  • kitchen set
  • crank flashlight 

Seeds / Animals 

  • Capybaras because they reproduce like crazy and can survive in a tropical environment. You can eat them also they're adorable. 
  • Beans
  • Weed
  • Rice (combined w/ beans = free protein source) 
  • A dog for companionship. Can eat capybara or llama meat. 
  • A herd of llamas to introduce to the ecosystem because they can free-graze on the island and reproduce. 
  • Oranges. Maintaining an orchard is probably really hard but I don't want to contract scurvy. Also, I like fruit. Orange juice can also be used to sweeten food and create sauces.

Books

  • The Lord of the Rings, J.R.R. Tolkien. You can buy it as one volume. 
  • Fear and Loathing at Rolling Stone: The Essential Writing of Hunter S. Thompson, Hunter S. Thompson. I fucking love this book, and its varied enough to keep me entertained for a while. I also would want at least one political book to keep me entertained
  • The SAS Survival Handbook, John Wiseman. Obvious reasons. 
  • Dune, Frank Herbert. 
  • House of Leaves, Mark Z. Danielewski. Mind-blowing book, also takes forever to read. 
  • The Miracle of Mindfulness, Thich Nhat Hanh. I'm probably going to have to learn how to meditate to avoid suicide and / or Tom Hanksism.
  • Gaunt's Ghosts: The Founding, Dan Abnett. Collection of the three first Gaunt's Ghosts novels, AKA some of the best WH40k fiction. 

Albums

  • Songs the Lord Taught Us, The Cramps. 
  • The Crane Wife, The Decemberists. 
  • July Flame, Laura Veirs. 
  • The College Dropout, Kanye West. 
  • The Best of the Red Army Choir, Alexandrov Ensemble. 
  • Port of Morrow, The Shins. 
  • Tron: Legacy, Daft Punk. 

Movies

  • The Last Samurai, Edward Zwick. 
  • The Babadook, Jennifer Kent.
  • The Grand Budapest Hotel, Wes Anderson.
  • The Empire Strikes Back, Irvin Kershner. 
  • The KKK vs. The Crips. vs. the Memphis City Council, VICE. 
  • Mad Max: Fury Road, George Miller.
  • Inglourius Basterds, Quentin Tarentino.

Games

  • Dishonored: Complete Collection, Arkane
  • The Elder Scrolls V: Skyrim, Bethesda Softworks. 
  • Xcom 2, 2K. 
  • Dead by Daylight,  Behaviour Interactive. Also a multiplayer game will double as my connection to the outside world. 
  • Fallout 4, Bethesda Softworks. One of the weaker Fallouts but its so fucking packed with content I couldn't pass it over. 
  • Sid Meier's Civilization V, Firaxis Games. I might finish one round by the time I get rescued. 
  • Rust, Facepunch Studios. I'll have so much time on the island I can finally become one of the no-lifers I despise. 

Personal Item

  • A tackle box complete with a fishing rod. 

Desert Island List

7 days ago
wtf are you gonna do with a level? xD why do you need measure tape? are you building within construction guidelines or something? how hard is it for you to make sticks that are the same length and width? why do they need to be so accurate?

Desert Island List

7 days ago

Because the shack has to last seven fucking years. I want it to be built well with a solid foundation. 

Desert Island List

7 days ago
ancient civilizations built on sand have structurally survived hundreds of years. I don't think you need a level or measure.

Desert Island List

6 days ago

Yeah but I'm not a master carpenter or mason. They had dudes for that. I don't have dudes for that. Hence, tools for measurement and even cutting. 

Desert Island List

6 days ago
Thankfully it won't be possible for Ford to follow us to any of our islands.

Especially mine. On account of the force field.

Desert Island List

6 days ago
I'll send empty boats with giant letters across the sails so over a few weeks you can spell out "you're island are a shit"

Desert Island List

6 days ago
I'll build a wall to block the ocean. Out of palm fronds.

Desert Island List

6 days ago
I'll be sure to send the boats on days when there's a stiff breeze so I know the palm fronds will be down.

Desert Island List

6 days ago

No boats are gonna be happening here. Steve's threatening to sea raid people, so I'll be casting Constant Lightning Storm over the water whenever I see anything floating. I may send animated body pillows to sell you dried buffalo steak though.

Desert Island List

6 days ago
Lightning storm? What if it's End's boat? Do you really want to kill a innocent blind girl?

Desert Island List

6 days ago
>innocent
>blind

pick one.

Desert Island List

6 days ago
Are you saying blind people aren't all innocent? You monster! Someone, please ban him! :(
Ok fine, I pick blind. Innocent is boring anyway.

Desert Island List

6 days ago

I don't care who's on the boat! No matter how innocent, a blind girl can at least catch and eat her own fairies instead of freeloading off of an ASPIRING MURDERER!

Desert Island List

6 days ago
How do you expect me to do that? And how do you expect me to live just by doing that, for 7 years? Those damn things would just laugh at me if I tried to catch them. There's not much meat on them anyway, and there's probably a limited amount.
I don't have a choice anyway. Mizal only allowed me to be with someone else, not to choose who. End was just the fastest one.

Desert Island List

6 days ago

Just slap a tree or something until your hand is bloody, put it in some sort of box or hole that a fairy will have to go inside in order to see what to give you, and then grab and murder it when it gets down there. You can bury and wash off the evidence, and the fairies will have to keep coming since they can't prove you murdered them. And maybe I'll tone down the storms on routes leading to your island so people can send you bribes not to kill their medicine supply. (Obviously lightning will come down if I can Detect Life on any boats headed there, because sea raiders)

Desert Island List

6 days ago
You just ignored the rest of my post. Those things are tiny, in a limited seply and I can't live on their meat only for 7 years.

Desert Island List

6 days ago

If they are in a limited supply, then people will bribe you to stop by sending supplies. If they're tiny, then they're easier to kill and eat before any of them see you. That's a 7 year survival plan there, extort everyone else into giving you shit.

Desert Island List

6 days ago
Bribe? You actually think people like Ford or Mizal would bribe me for some medicine? If they don't bribe me, it means I'll die, which means no more dead fairies. And how would they know it's me killing them, anyway?

Desert Island List

6 days ago

Ford's going to be fighting a pig war, and mizal's going to be nursing callouses and shit from trying to chop herself supports for her shitty palm house, so they'll have more reason to send you shit than anyone else. Also, send them an anonymous letter saying that the medicine fairies are gonna start getting sparse unless they send shit to Mayana's island.

Desert Island List

6 days ago
Letter. I'm blind. You know what, I won't argue with you. It's clear you're being retarded.

Desert Island List

6 days ago

So? You can type it in, print it out, and address them to everyone in advance before the exile. It's not that hard to do.

Desert Island List

6 days ago
Sent, please, for the love of god. Stop being retarded. Think before you post. Don't post at all.

Desert Island List

6 days ago

Oh, yeah, so I want a pessimistic blind person to have a chance if surviving a hypothetical on her own island. Fuck me, right?

Desert Island List

6 days ago

Murderer is it? I'm not the one committing GENOCIDE on medicine fairies.

At this point I probably don't need to kill that many people. Crazygurl is going to starve to death, Ford is going to get gored by wild boars and you... well I don't think you want to know after the medicine fairies had enough of your shit and strike back against you.

Desert Island List

6 days ago

I've changed plans, I'm offering them legitimate employment as sugar farmers in exchange for the shit that fairies want, Mayana's the one killing them now. Not that I actually wanted to eat them in the first place, I was just looking for options to piss off Mizal.

Desert Island List

7 days ago
Mizal has forced me to participate in this, because she's a evil bitch. As we all know, no matter what I bring with me, I'll die anyway. So here's the plan. If one of you helps me by allowing me to live on their island, I will survive ... maybe. I can help with some tasks and I'm a easy kill if you need meat. The catch is, I take up a food or personal item slot.
Please help?
I don't want to die!

Desert Island List

7 days ago

I'm going to need some sort of argument for your usefulness here. I don't see how you could be better than my food, and you're sure as shit not better than my dog.

Desert Island List

7 days ago
I'm going to need a good reason as to why I should even try to convince you. You've already told me you would eat me. I have a better chanse with other members who actually have emotion and might like someone to talk to, not just food that can work. I'd rather be eaten by sharks than you.

Desert Island List

7 days ago

I said if it comes to it, and so far your only better options are fucking Ford, which is sure as shit a worse option, Malk, who would rape you, or Beta, who with his entertainment choices is clearly the worst option. 

Desert Island List

7 days ago
Ford sounds like he knows what he's doing, and as far as entertainment goes I couldn't read the books or play the games anyway, so Beta sounds fine. You're right about Malk. Besides, there might be other people.

Desert Island List

7 days ago

Ford, whose plan was to have dangerous animals populate the island and just trust that he can win that battle, and I'll assume the Beta comment is sarcasm.

Desert Island List

7 days ago
His plan is about as good as yours. The thing with Beta wasn't sarcasm, I really don't care about that.

Desert Island List

7 days ago

Yes, the plan that involves surviving a war vs boars is far better than the plan that just involves feeding chickens.

Desert Island List

7 days ago
I think there was a Lost in Blue game with this premise. We'll see how you weigh up against a fancy pencil, though.

Desert Island List

7 days ago

Meh, I'll help Medusa.

Desert Island List

7 days ago
Thank you End. I'll try not to be too annoying. Just remember to actually make an island, else I'll be going with Malk. You at least won't be telling me about your shit fetish before you eventually kill me.

Desert Island List

7 days ago

Honestly, I’m not playing Mizal’s game, I’m just going to bring a melee weapon like a machete and a gun with a shitload of bullets, along with a boat, a map and navigational tools and travel to the rest of the islands and kill everyone else for their shit. Unless they're fine with just giving me tribute I guess.

You’re welcome to come along for the ride.

Desert Island List

7 days ago
Okay I wasn't going to let Steve have his boat no matter how much he begged, but he's our Coast Guard now.

Even if you decide to team up and become pirates, one of you will eventually murder the other and we're no worse off.

Desert Island List

7 days ago

Giving Steve a boat just means you're going to have two sea raiders going to the islands instead of just one and since it might not be immediate that we kill each other, I guarantee he's going to be the rapey one, so I suggest all you island dwellers prepare your anuses.

Desert Island List

7 days ago

Please, you're going to get fucking murdered. I could take you out on land with ease, but on sea? I'll eat your fucking heart.

Desert Island List

7 days ago

Whether you kill me or not doesn't really matter. My point is Mizal just fucked everyone else by giving you a boat in the first place.

Desert Island List

7 days ago

Well we're back to one sea raider, and I feel I'd be a nicer one than you. I think it's an improvement. Plus, no one on CYS is really attractive enough that I'd try rape them.

Desert Island List

7 days ago
So if you're going to kill everyone else, what's the point of keeping me around?

Desert Island List

7 days ago

I already said I'd help you. Lol.

Desert Island List

7 days ago

Here, I'll take May. I'm lacking a good protein supply anyway

Desert Island List

7 days ago
Quick change to the rules regarding animals. After some debate, and recognizing the wording in the OP may have been unclear, what I'm allowing now is a minimal breeding population of one male and two female per food slot. (If an admin could edit this into the OP that would be great)

Ford and beta will probably want to do something with their extra food spaces.

But! We have a moral dilemma now. Due to a clerical error, we're short one island. Luckily, it's in question whether one of your fellow exiles is even human.

Instead of exile, Mayana will be fed to sharks, unless one if you are willing to give up a food or personal item space and take her in.

(Whether you use her as food or not is entirely up to you, and how fast she can run without tripping or smacking into a tree.)

E: beaten. I type very slowly on my phone

Desert Island List

7 days ago
she can pay anyone with her body

Desert Island List

7 days ago

Humans count as animals, right? 

Desert Island List

7 days ago

I'd say they do, but Mizal's the one to decide on this. Personally, I wouldn't say they're very cost-efficient, if you plan on breeding them.

Desert Island List

7 days ago
Bringing people along kind of defeats the purpose of an alone on a desert island scenario.

Desert Island List

7 days ago
then how come end gets to have a myan? can I have my own myananan?

Desert Island List

6 days ago
Come the fuck on. The blind aren't human. This has been well established by now. It's just science.

Desert Island List

7 days ago

Interesting... I think about this all the time...

Tools: A saw, a fishing pole and its complementary equipment (this counts as one tool, right?), a hammer (the kind you can use to pry out nails and bash in the heads of fish), a lighter, a very sharp knife, a multipurpose pot (boiling water, frying fish, etc.), a rifle. Wait, does a dildo count as a tool?

Seeds/animals: Lettuce (no nutritional value but tastes good with everything), oranges (for vitamin C), carrots (because rabbit), set of breedable chickens (can't just rely on fish for protein), tomatoes (pretty easy to grow), potatoes (the martian survived with these, so I can too?), watermelon (I'm just making the assumption that there's an infinite quantity of all these seeds in the 7 years)

Books: I'll take that volume of Shakespeare (it'll probably take me seven years to finish reading it anyway). Also, Dumas's Count of Monte Cristo and Doestoyevsky's Crime and Punishment (favorites of mine). And also War and Peace (that long-ass book I never finished despite multiple attempts). And then the first three books of Harry Potter, only because I never read the series, and my friends have been nagging me to do so, as though I missed some vital part of childhood and need to make up for it.

Movies: I'll trade in five for a complete TV series (assuming this means ALL the seasons): Lost, because it goes with the theme. For the two movies... I just realize I don't have two favorite movies. Um... I guess just the most recent Pirates of the Caribbean movie and Boss Baby, since I haven't seen them yet.

Albums: Going to go with pop. Sia's 1000 Forms of Fear, Maroon 5's V, Rihanna's Unapologetic, Train's California 37, One Republic's Native (yeah, I know, I like trashy modern pop). Also throw in Beethoven's complete symphonies and Chopin's complete nocturnes.

Games: I don't play games generally. I know, shocker. For CYOAs, I'll take Eternal and Dead Man Walking, since to my knowledge they are the longest ones on this site, and I haven't gotten around to reading either of them. And a deck of cards, a chess set, and Tetris (seven years will make me a pro). And Fallout 4, because I heard it's fun, and it's never too late to get into gaming. Oh, and Fruit Ninja, because how else am I going to get exercise?

Freebie: My pet rabbit, for companionship. (If it dies, well, let's just hope not. But if it really does, I'll bury it and build a shrine).

Strategy: To survive and not die from boredom/loneliness. Which is highly likely in my case (haallllppp isolation's gonna kill me!!!)

Wow, this took me a lot longer and a lot more thinking than I thought it would.

Desert Island List

7 days ago

You sadden me on so many levels.

Desert Island List

7 days ago

Oh, really? Well, that's... unsurprising. There's a long line of people who see me as a disappointment. Please, feel free to line up, too.

Desert Island List

7 days ago
Lettuce was an interesting choice. I hope you like salad. (Though if the island had just a smidgen less magic,the lettuce and tomatoes would have distinctly different growing seasons and couldn't be eaten fresh together.)

Actually looking at that list, I expect you're going to be eating a lot of potatoes, there's nothing else filling on there. Chicken and fish maybe but one you'll have in limited supply and the other takes work and luck to catch.

Also...I hope you're aware not many rabbits have seven year lifespans.

Desert Island List

7 days ago
why go all the way to a desert island just to die when you can take your belt off and end it now?

Desert Island List

7 days ago

Oh, I already tried that. I looked for a belt in my house but couldn't find one, and then I realized I didn't own any. And so I decided to use some string instead, but the string wasn't strong enough and broke. So I guess I'm heading off to the island after all.

Desert Island List

7 days ago

One benevolent Native American Buffalo Spirit: Super versatile, and fulfills many survival needs.  Sort of has wool, and, like a cow, it can eat and digest most plants and even some fish, etc.  I can milk it if it's female, since mythological creatures can just do stuff like that whenever they feel like it, and, as long as I'm very respectful about it, I can kill it for an entire survival adventure's supply of meat and leather. And then it will regenerate itself, since it's a godly being. Being a guiding mythological spirit, it's probably also pretty wise, interesting, and generally just a total bro to hang out with, so I won't go feral or stir-crazy.

A load of sugar cane for structure and raft-making

3 cool-looking magic-powered bug things that will farm that shit for me

A big-ass roll of sod plus extra dirt to get a reliable grass population happening for the Buffalo buddy.

Corn, for making fuel, booze, pretend telescopes, baskets, and also so the Buffalo doesn't have to just eat grass and coconuts.

For tools, I want an axe, a carving knife, and a ~magic~ sharpening stone that returns all tools it touches to original factory condition, with the exception of me. I want one of those pressure bullet things that the guy used in No Country For Old Men so that the Buffalo will be totally painlessly out whenever I need to cut him up. Also, a book with every 3.5e D&D spell that generates all required casting materials for each casting, since if I'm gonna abuse the magic of the setting, I may as well fucking abuse the magic of the setting. This takes up the space of one book and one tool, so it's "balanced". This is pretty much all I need so far.

The collection of the entire series where Batman fights Bane. I see it in every Barnes and Noble, and I'll Google it for proof whenever I don't stand the chance of losing my post by tabbing out. Flan, just to have it on my shelf. The revised Anarchist's cookbook, because Buffalo and I will probably need something to do with the time. A treatise on some unarmed martial art just to have something to do again. The Ass Goblins of Auschwitz, and The Hobbit.

Wheels on Meals, the Grand Budapest Hotel, and I'm turning in the rest of my movies for the COMPLETE series of Firefly, so everything they would've done if it weren't cancelled is included, for better and for worse. This will be worth fucking billions if I put it on Kickstarter and say I'm gonna animate it or something, even if it turns out the show would've been shit.

I don't know Albums very well. Let me get back to you on this.

Dwarf Fortress, Skyrim overhauled and modded to perfection, Minecraft overhauled and modded to perfection, Slime Rancher, My Summer Car, Saints Row 2, basically all the great timesinks, and 3.5e D&D just so I know what the hell I'm doing and have something to do with the Buffalo since she doesn't exactly have the digits required to play the other games with me.

Desert Island List

7 days ago


Tools:

Axe. Most versatile yadda yadda, we've all read Hatchet.

500 ft roll of nylon cord. A billion uses for this.

Oven safe cooking pot with a lid. Probably one of the most difficult day to day tools to reproduce with rocks and trees. Or a big skillet with a lid would work too.

One of those ferro-whatever firestarter thingies. Like so.

A tarp. I mostly use them to transport bodies, but there are lots of other possibilities, not the least of which is having an instant waterproof shelter. Could probably cut a piece off for a way to carry water.

Wheelbarrow. For carting around my coconuts.

Fixed blade knife. This adorable little Gerber one apparently comes with a sharpener as part of its sheathe, and since I don't have room for a sharpener I guess it will do.

I wanted whatever kind of saw that was Ford had on his list, but making boards seems like a lot of work anyway and look at this sweet house I could make out of palm fronds instead.

Food:

Chickens. (1 rooster and 2 hens as per the new animal rules, but I'll probably have to seperate or eat the rooster pretty early on as I've always heard it was four hens minimum to avoid injurous amounts of fucking.) Anyway, chickens are the most delicious of all birds, easy to care for--they can forage for seeds and grasses and bugs, breed fast, and will start providing eggs right away for protein.

Corn. Tastier and more versatile than wheat, much less of a pain in the ass to harvest and process than rice. Can be eaten fresh, thrown into tons of dishes, or dried and made into cornmeal and combined with eggs for bread or pancakes or hot cereal or to fry fish. Also a good source of chicken feed.

Tomatoes. Easy and fast to grow, contain vitamin C and A and other nutrients. Easy to dry, tasry fresh and an essential in cooking. Will need to be fiercely protected from the chickens however.

Broccoli. A hard choice to make over other options, but I figured I'd be craving something green eventually, and broccoli is filling enough to be a meal on its own, insanely healthy, and absolutely delicious when cooked correctly. The greens can be eaten as well as the head. Contains huge amounts of vitamin C, plus calcium, iron, B vitamins, potassium, basically just stupid amounts of health benefits all around.

Lemons. Keep for a very long time, pairs well with most of the other ingredients and the juice and zest is would be hard to do without when cooking. Should solve most citrus cravings and nice just to nibble on sometimes too. My lemon tree would come in a big ceramic pot that would be useful for various other things as well once the tree is transferred out. Could be used in making a primitive refridgerator, for instance, I'd have to build a wooden box or something it would fit inside of for the second part.

Onions. I spent a long time debating this one because I did and still do REALLY want potatoes, but I already had corn for a filling starch and onions last forever and can be paired with every other ingredient. I'm honestly not sure I could cook without onions for seven years.

Pineapple. I was iffy on this one too, but, I needed at least one sweet thing, and they can be eaten fresh, made into juice and used in various recipes. Plus they're an immediate food source while I'm getting the other stuff planted since I only need the tops to grow new ones.

An example dinner utilizing all ingredients: Salad made from broccoli florets, tomato and shaved onion with a lemon juice/coconut oil dressing. Chicken roasted with pineapple and onion. Corn on the cob. A sprinkle of sea salt on everything. Delicious and I want to eat it right now.

Also posting that means I get my seven year spice supply. I'll take garlic powder. Also I hope there are dandelions on my island, that'd be a free food source, and I've been drinking some weird fake coffee made of dandelion roots that's kind of been growing on me. (Lack of caffeine will still be THE main problem I face, but 'seven year supply of diet coke' as a personal item seemed like cheating...)

Books:

The Complete Works of William Shakespeare
Rudyard Kipling - Collected Stories
The Bible -NKJV Thompson chain reference version
The Decline and Fall of the Roman Empire
Lord of the Rings - 50th Anniversary Omnibus Edition
Watership Down. I just really like it okay. :[
Complete Poems of Emily Dickinson (Johnson edition)

That's 8000+ pages of reading material! Some of it pretty dense and a challenge to work through, but it will keep my brain occupied. Though I do own the SAS Survival Handbook klam mentioned, it's a good read and an excellent resource. But, I hadn't realized LOTR came in a single volume, so...I'm sure I can figure this survival thing out through vague memories and trial and error and not having anyone around to judge me.


Movies:

Psych, the complete series. Love this show, the actors all have great chemistry and get along well IRL so you can tell they're having fun, and it's the rare show that just keeps getting better and better as the seasons go by. Plus the constant 80s and 90s references and cameos are fun to try and spot. Along with the pineapple.
Mary Poppins. Fuck the haters.
Mad Max: Fury Road. Because it has enough detail packed into every minute to reward repeated viewings. And because it's the best movie ever made.


Music:

Eh, don't really have time to hunt down individual albums right now. Pretty much just the Nier: Automata soundtrack and then whatever looks like the most comprehensive 'Best of' collection of Aerosmith, George Strait, Johnny Cash, Eva Cassidy, Red Hot Chili Peppers and Audioslave.


Games:

This one's easy.

Morrowind, with the caveat that I get to mod it a little first. Morrowind belongs on every list.
Witcher 3 so I can finally see what all the fuss is about.
Rimworld because why would anyone not take Rimworld?
MOO 2
Alpha Centauri for the same reason as MOO2, classic 4X goodness since they haven't been topped by anything newer yet.
Anno 1404 for ultimate chill town building experience.
Minecraft, again, with some modding first. Unbalanced mess but, I like the part where you stack the blocks on top of the other blocks sometimes.



Personal item: A kitten. I will name it Friday.

Anyway I will be back later to elaborate on the next seven years of my life free from stress and distractions, beautiful sunny island, during which I mostly sit in a hut pretending to be a dark elf assassin on a mission from the Emperor, and start many, many new stories but probably don't finish a single one.

Edit: Also I forgot to add, my island is protected from pirates. With an impenetrable force field only I can operate. Sorry everyone else, but obviously when I found the force field island, that's the one I was going to pick! Also, there may or may not be a giant squid that shoots laser beams from its tentacles when it senses ill intent. (I wouldn't suggest trying to fact check this one, something bad might happen.)

Desert Island List

7 days ago
that house clearly has wooden support beams both in the corners and on the roof which are nicely cut by what looks to be a powertool and unsanded on the edges. you could have a year and get half way done with a woven house like that. Also with such thin paper thin walls you may as well just have leaves there instead.

For you I'd say go for mud walls. Wet some soil and crush some rocks for powder - mix it all up to make a rough clay substance and place medium sized rocks between the layers. You don't really need a saw I just wanted one for accurate cuts - but anyone can make a simple hut from logs and mud which will insulate 100x better than leaves, vine, and paper-thin natural mesh.

I'd say use the nylon cord to make a hammock; just watch for spiders every day or fine a natural repellant and you should be fine. Lemons and salt should work for most bugs.

a cooking pot can be made from carving out a rock or happening upon a concave rock form and getting rid of the pointy or loose bits using other rocks. the ocean is nearby but I must say I did not think about a cooking pot. Most things can be cooked over an open fire with salt and perhaps a wooden bowl covered in green leaves. The wheelbarrow is inspiring and I'm not sure why you wouldn't scrap it for parts. A wheel is very useful for many things and the barrow itself can be used as a large cooking pot or many other things. big palm leaves could easily cover it in order to steam stuff. Transporting materials efficiently is said to be 80% of contruction, so a wheelbarrow is a step in the right direction.

Desert Island List

7 days ago
OK now I hope you brought enough critiques for everyone.

And I was intending to use logs as support for my house. Boards are a shitton more work though and just don't seem worth it.

A hammock or even a fishing net was actually something I was considering for the twine. Seems pretty simple to mark it at intervals to stand in for a measuring tape too.

Desert Island List

7 days ago
boards are better stored. so you can make a ton and last forever or chop down a tree every time you need a log. logs also roll, boards don't. logs are also more prone to mold, moss, and bugs while boards will last a much longer time. Cutting a log into boards and shingles also provides you with a look at the quality of the wood. leaving it as a log may pose structural instability because it could be rotten in the middle or full of bugs. heat treating can be done but very difficultly in the wilderness. boards are better for creating angular structural support and are easier to carry and transport than logs.

you could just get a froe or a wood slick to make boards. a saw is not necessary except for cutting accurately. a makeshift chisel of any kind or even just a regular axe can be used to make straight enough boards for structural support with enough practice and skill.

Desert Island List

7 days ago
I'm going into this armed with many, many hours playing Unreal World so I'm aware splitting logs by hand is a thing. But I have weak lady wrists so I don't want to make assumptions about the kinds of things I could with trees without actually trying it first.

Desert Island List

7 days ago
3lb rock -> axe = split log.

takes as much effort as giving a handjob. if you need practice I volunteer as tribute.

Desert Island List

7 days ago

Lol.

I like how this thread basically degenerated into people making their choices and then Ford viciously mocking everyone for their lack of island survival skill knowledge.

Desert Island List

7 days ago
#1 Pro survival tip: deliberately overrun your island with feral hogs as your opening act. Don't worry, you can fight them with SCIENCE. Which is why they've been completely eradicated in every state and are no longer a problem anywhere.

Desert Island List

6 days ago

We live in a world of ubiquitous medical fairies, why are any of you bothering with survival shit!?

Desert Island List

6 days ago
Like having gaming computers you don't have to worry about powering, the fairies were a kind and thoughtful convenience to keep everyone from having to use up a tool or personal space on first aid kits. The bandaid they throw you won't do shit if you're gored by a wild hog (completely random example) and attempts to abuse exploits or deliberately go against the intent of the magic and obviously eating the fucking fairies will result in it being revoked.

Desert Island List

6 days ago

How come you get to have forcefields and shit, then? Assuming we're all exiles and have equal opportunity for magical goodness, why do you get a magic thing that we don't!?

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6 days ago

Basically she made up special rules for herself due to being the creator of the scenario.

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6 days ago
No, really?

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6 days ago

Well Sentinel seemed to be genuinely confused by the situation.

Desert Island List

6 days ago

Pff, no fair. If she can give the God of this universe a succ job until he gives her a forcefield, I get to be a wizard.

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6 days ago
Actually what happened is you made up special rules for yourself to troll everyone and fuck you no one can take away my beautiful island.

Desert Island List

6 days ago

It started out as an earnest survival attempt! I only started trolling when Steve started trying to kill people, and that made me want to kill Steve.

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6 days ago

The whole thread is dangerously coming close to RP territory anyway.

Desert Island List

6 days ago
A metal pot with a secure lid is obviously 1000X superior to all of your suggestions, plus lets you carry water and store food with zero effort but whatever.

I was trying to figure out a use for seashells and wondering if mixing them with the mud in place of crushed rocks would be workable. Crushing rocks sounding like a lot of work, and, while I guess it would depend on the sort of beach it was, at at least one of them near here you get broken and crushed oyster shells as far as the eye can see. (Though I would prefer my personal beaches be nicer to walk on and smell and also not contain jellyfish in any form...)

Though I'm still not convinced I would need to give up my palm frond house in exchange for mud. Palm trees and coconuts suggest a warm climate, where a shelter that both provides shade and lets air circulate is ideal. Ideally I'd have the kind of island where brown people laze around in the nude, only minus the brown people.

Desert Island List

6 days ago

The Bible, she goes with. All the books in human history, and she goes with the Bible. To make it even worse, she goes with a kitten. Dear god, I can't wait for you to go insane in there. 

Desert Island List

6 days ago

Tools

 

Hammer

Knife

Shitloads of rope

Screwdriver

Saw

Axe

Spirit level

 

Seeds/Animals

 

Wheat

Cotton

Rice

Bamboo

Male and female chook - get porking, bucko!

Dog

 

Movies

La vita e bella

Man on fire

I am legend

Edge of tomorrow

Rambo 1

eXistenZ

Little miss sunshine

 

Books

 

Enyclopedia Britannica *5 - tinder, and something to shit with

Hitchhiker's guide collection - to read while shitting

The preicse name eludes me, but along the lines of "Speculative history of the future", to give me the shits. It is by far, the most useful book of my life. I have used it to:

  • Hold up a wobble table
  • An extra few cm for a monitor stand
  • Drilled a hole through it, attached a bit of 2-by-4 and dowel, and plugged a catflap
  • As proof positive, that nobody is as dumb who calls themselves smart, without a smattering of self-insight

Music

4 Bowie Albums - all good, all welcome.

A depeche mode album

They might be Giants - Apollo 18

A Mozarts greatest hits

 

Games

RimWorld

Deck of cards

Cards against humanity

Alpha centauria

7 days to die

Unreal World

Hungry hungry hippos - I will teach the dog and chickens how to play.

 

Personal

Swag. Fuck off, Australian. What else do I want when going bush?

Year 1 would be the building, getting proficient at farming, fishing and hunting year. Ditto 2.

If by 3, Im not dead, huzzah! Now, madness sets in. The cult arises, dark shadows move.

We dont talk about 4.

5, the survivors huddle back together in an uneasy truce.

6, all the chickens are named Bruce, and hold a parliament.

7, reasoning that more chicken = more votes, I eat all the chickens.

8, still pretty full from Chickenocalypse.

9, the clouds of feather and death dissipates, and time to wander off.

Desert Island List

6 days ago
you fucking people and your fucking screw drivers. what the fuck is the use of a screw driver THERE ARE NO SCREWS. mizal said free nails - there is literally no use for a screw driver anywhere on the island you fucking divs.

fucking waste of humanity.

speaking of humanity who the fuck are you going to play CAH against? it's not a single player game jesus christ.

you have an amazing taming skill for these chickens cause my experience with even the most docile chickens on a farm don't give a fuck what you tell them to do and there's no training them to do shit. How are you going to get these chickens to play hungry hungry hippos? or start a chickenocalypse???

Desert Island List

6 days ago

Chickens can understand visual cues. I mean, they can unier stand what you holdung food out for them means at least. They don't give a fuck what you tell them, but with treats, you can eventually get them to maneuver an obstacle course on their own, and possibly even shit that's more useful than that. And, I mean, you don't have to worry about blunting the knife when you stab or carve with stuff.

Desert Island List

6 days ago

What the hell are chooks? Is that some Aussie racial slur for Asian people? If so were you using them as slaves or food or both?

Desert Island List

6 days ago

Question, can we build traps for the medicine fairies? Like, rubbing the scent of an unbandaged wound all over a box and just trap them inside? It's a simple sustainable meat source, and a ptactical way for people who are bad at survival to live.

Desert Island List

6 days ago

Sent is fucked as soon as he pisses of the fairies.

Desert Island List

6 days ago

Repeatedly casting "cure light wounds" should do me fine. I'd rather send the fairies to work the sugar fields than eat them, though.

What do fairies eat, anyway? Can I like trade them flowers or something in exchange for the privilege of maintaining my fields and no longer having to bring medicine to Sea Raiders and Ford?

Desert Island List

6 days ago

Trapping the medicine fairies seems like a bad idea ranking up there with bringing lettuce with you to an island or letting it be overrun by wild boars.

I can't imagine they would taste too good either. Probably have a bitter medicine taste at best.

Desert Island List

6 days ago

Two questions:

Do we have internet?

Seeing as we can bring pets, can we bring a person along on our exile as the personal item, dooming them as well? If so, do they get their own list of shit? I know it defeats the purpose of being alone, but some of the games I want to bring require a second.

Desert Island List

6 days ago

No internet, no other people.

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6 days ago
No other people, and right, Internet would defeat the purpose of all the other entertainment choices.

Malk was asking the same thing since he had online games picked. I'd have been willing to handover it away like the other stuff as allowable in the specific case of playing your games, but all of you and especially Ford and Sent are obnoxious little munchkins who make me regret letting you have nice things.

If we ever do this again, expect to have to entertain yourselves juggling coconuts and then die of an infected toe.

Desert Island List

6 days ago

Well, shit.

In that case, what are the limits of the personal item?

Can I have a thing that stops time? What about a thing that teleports me between islands? A magic backpack to carry shit in?

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6 days ago
Your island privileges are now revoked. Get out of my thread. :[

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6 days ago

I'm just saying, Steve gets a boat and you get a magic shield covering your island. Kinda takes away the point.

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6 days ago

It's okay, Tim. You can hang out on my island with the cool kids/bovines... If you can swim that far. But swimming won't be that hard, because if I can see you I can turn you into a dragon for a set number of combat rounds!

Desert Island List

6 days ago
Assholes declaring they're going to sail around murdering everyone was never the point to begin with. And Sent is just off his meds again probably. You can safely disregard everything involved with them and just go with what's in the OP.

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6 days ago
CYS nuzlocke: anything you bring must be cys related or have a cys reference. As per nuzlocke rules you can only use the item for ONE thing. ie a belt to hang yourself can only be used for hanging yourself. If you bring a mallot you must describe how you want it to be used or what for - and it will only be used for that.

Desert Island List

5 days ago
There's an axe in the garage and if not for having to buckle down on this contest story, I'd really be tempted to take it out tomorrow and cut down a tree to try and make a board...

e: I think the 400 year old oak near my dad's place is a good contender for this experiment

Desert Island List

5 days ago
no; no it isn't. lol.

cutting down a tree with an axe is hard enough. a 400 year old tree much harder. an oak at that? you may as well give up unless you have experience logging or with carpentry.

not only would the axe have to be sharpened, given it's status as "in the garage" for who knows how long, but you'd also have to wear a hard hat and gloves to protect yourself from that falling tree that you'll likely cut wrong and it'll go slamming into you or if a building is nearby it'll rest nicely in that.

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5 days ago
I wasn't expecting you to be the one gullible enough to take that seriously, but I'll take it, even if you did freak out for all the wrong reasons.

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5 days ago
I don't see anything I should be freaking out about besides the chopping of an old oak with an axe being near impossible without the right experience.

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5 days ago

Alright, right off the bat I want a chainsaw (power tool), a butcher knife, and a really sturdy fishing rod. I will also take seven bloody hogs. And these aren't normal hogs. I want man's evil nature itself bloody huge hogs. KILL THE BEAST. CUT HIS THROAT. SPILL HIS BLOOD. I will take Lord of the Flies, Clockwork Orange, The Complete Marquis de Sade, Moby Dick, The Old Man and the Sea, The Count of Monte Cristo, and Mysterious Island just to get into the mood. I will trade five movies for the entire One Piece TV series. I'll also take JAWS and Sharknado. I don't need any games but I guess I'll spend the week packing the 7 longest storygames. As for albums, I really only know about singles so I'll just downgrade and take Down with the Sickness. That's it. For the personal item, I want a harpoon. 

So what I'm doing with the hogs if I can resist the urge to eat them is use the bloody meat as bait for sharks - with the very sturdy fishing pole. Then, I have two options. I can either (1) run the shark through with my chainsaw if I can get it to jump above the water or (2) harpoon it while screaming THE WHALE! THE WHITE WHALE! even though it's neither white nor a whale. Assuming that the magic surrounding the island removes toxins from nearby sharks and makes them very good eating I will be set for, at most, maybe a year. Then I eat coconuts and die of insanity. Sorry, I really didn't want to spend 7 whole years trying to entertain myself. (Also I think I need a shelter; that's what the bloody pigskins are for) 

Desert Island List

5 days ago
a chainsaw will be unsharp after a year. it won't work in water or if you get water in it. a pigskin shelter will rot. your fishing rod is shit if you don't have the muscle to hold a deepwater fish let alone a shark by yourself or without gear to keep the rod steady. sharks aren't toxic so there's no need for magic island to magic away the bad stuff; just don't eat the intestines and you'll be fine if you can cook it. you have shit entertainment choices and you deserve to die and rot on the shores of the isles of cysea by disease from living in what is essentially 4 pig corpses.

Desert Island List

5 days ago
He doesn't need a year to cut down trees for a shelter and whatever else. Jeff has the most practical survival plan of anyone in this thread so far IMHO.

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5 days ago
takes 1 day to make a wood supported hut and it won't rot.

also he plans to die so it isn't a survival plan.

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5 days ago

Lol.

Gotta admit, I'm sort of liking Ford's attitude in this thread.

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5 days ago
I'd like to donate 10 points towards the Bring Ford Back To Life chairty fund :^)

Desert Island List

5 days ago

Sharks aren't toxic, but they taste seriously bad, to the point where you can get sick, if you don't boil the meat in milk for hours. He didn't bring the resources to do that, (unless he milks the pigs like some sort of desperate African child) so unless he likes the taste of shark piss that builds up over several years in an animal with no urinary tract, he's going to live out a very sad existence.

Unless the magic of the island allows sharks to piss, but why would it? It's not really viable to eat sharks.

Desert Island List

5 days ago

I can see that I'll have to reconsider some parts of my plan if I want to live a decent enough year. I can learn how to make a fire with two sticks, of course, so no need to bring a magnesium starter. I'll have to exchange one of my pigs for a cow if I want milk. That way I can eat the shark meat. About the toxins, I was mainly worried about high levels of mercury in sharks although I don't know how quickly mercury affects the functioning of the human body. Like Mizal said, I only need the chainsaw for a few days to get the necessary wood for a shelter and enough firewood. The pigskins would protect me from the rain for a day while I'm making a legitimate shelter. Of course, if I'm going insane I probably enjoy the smell of rotting pig carcass. After I'm done with the chainsaw I can waste it away on sharks if I want to. In this universe I was arrested and exiled for 18 years as a leading child soldier in Africa, so I've been working out my upper body strength all my life to stay on top, not to mention the exercises I've been doing in prison and on the boat over here. Thus I can reel in the sharks just enough to harpoon them. I also probably need more music, so I'll throw in the albums Sleeping at Last Atlas 1, The Rise and Fall of Ziggy Stardust and the Spiders from Mars, Beatles' Revolver, singles Living on a Prayer, Eye of the Tiger, and, of course, Criminal Mind by Gowan. Along with Down with the Sickness. I guess I'll take Breath of the Wild as one of the games. 

You might be wondering why I want to eat sharks so much. Let's just say I have ... an affinity.  

Also, it is a survival plan because I plan on surviving for a year.

Desert Island List

5 days ago

Mercury isn't naturally present in fish or sharks. It's a byproduct of industry befuckling the ocean that causes fish to absorb the mercury in chemicals and trash that gets dumped in the water. Since we have non-newtonian magic and probably a load of eco-conscious Mermaids and elf hippies purifying the sea with magic (plus, y'know, probably less industry since stuff can be summoned rather than manufactured) mercury wouldn't be a problem in this universe unless someone decides to be an asshole alchemist and poison the sea just to be the last asshole standing.

Also, ew. Being a furry is one thing, but I won't stand for fish furries. That's a transcendental level of stank that no natural sentient being should have an "affinity" with.

Desert Island List

5 days ago

"Unless someone decides to be an asshole alchemist and poison the sea just to be the last asshole standing."

Challenge accepted!

Desert Island List

5 days ago

Well, shit, I may have to put my plans to fuck with the medicine fairies on hold since they're probably obligated to keep the ecosystem safe and the seas clean. Mayana, you need to go find other food sources now unless you like early onset dementia. If anything, we need to start increasing the fairy population so they can clean up all of End's shit before it poisons us.

Desert Island List

5 days ago

It was a bad pun, by the way. Maybe I should have capitalized it like afFINity. Also, I don't know where you came up with furries, but affinity doesn't mean that. 

Desert Island List

5 days ago

A big furry porn website is called "furaffinity", so I automatically jumped to the most traumatic memories when you mentioned affinity and never made it clear that puns were happening.

Desert Island List

5 days ago

Tools:

- One of those Hatchets with the hammerhead on the opposite end, and indent on the bottom to the blade.

-Sledgehammer.

-Swiss Army Knife.

-Fidget Spinner.

-Infinite Matchbox.

-Shovel.

-One of those metal bowls with the silverware that comes attached.

I don't trust myself with power tools.

 

Organics:

-Potatoes, obviously.

-Chickens, for eggs.

-Corn, to feed said Chickens.

-Puppies, for Companionship, so I go insane less quickly.

-Marijuana

-Rice, Just boil water.

-Orange tree, because I used to have one in my backyard and also because I need a fruit.

 

Books:

-Wasteland Survival Guide

-Fallout Bible (Complete)

-Hunger Games 1, 2, and 3

-The actual Bible in case I need tinder or some shit.

-A French Language book, in case I get bored and want to learn French better.

 

Movies:

-Forrest Gump

-Rocky 4

TV:

-The entire Naruto series.

 

Albums:

-Men At Work Definitive Collection

-Journey Greatest Hits 1&2 (it's still one thing though)

-Sublime Gold

-Beastie Boys Anthology

-The Offspring Collection

-Daft Punk Greatest Hits

-Hollywood Undead Day of The Dead

 

Games:

-Fallout: New Vegas Ultimate

-Skyrim: Legendary

-MGS Legacy

-MGSV

-Smash for the Wii U

-Civ 6

-Fallout Deck of Cards.

 

Free thing:

I want a soda drinking hat that refills with Mtn Dew: Code Red every 3 hours.

 

Strats:

-Year One: Learn how to farm and use tools properly via The WSG and trial/error. Start playing/finish NV. Pet doggos.

-Year Two: Properly get set up instead of sleeping under palm leaf tent. Be good at farming plants and chickies. Move shit into pimpin new crib. Play Skyrim. Pet doggos.

-Year Three: Finish Skyrim. Doggos no doubt had puppers by now. Start building fishing canoe to meet food quota. Craft spears for said fishing canoe. Start playing MGS Legacy. Finish canoe/spears and fish as a pastime as well.

-Year Four: Halfway there, I tell myself. Finish MGS Legacy. Try learning French. Read books, watch movies, etc more often. Still fishing. Start MGSV.

-Year Five: Doggos are growing in number. Replace fishing items, reuse into dog items. Continue French. Still playing MGSV. Start watching Naruto when I can.

-Year Six: Start getting lonely among Doggo Island. Try teaching dogs to play card games. Fail miserably. Talk to the doggos more often than usual. Actually remember Doggo's names for once. Still doing French just to be sure. Still watching Naruto, on second show. Still playing MGSV.

-Year Seven: Start getting paranoid that the growing dog population is going to ursurp my throne as King of Doggo Island. Barkolomew looked at me funny. Doglas Fairbarks was barking at a stranger pace than normal. Do the Doggos know Morse Code? Fish have been hunted to extinction at this point. The Doggos no longer need me. On the bright side, I am Fluent in French, Finished Naruto Shippuden, and almost finished MGSV. Possibly died from Doggos before the pickup could come. Doggos may have covered it up to look like an accident.

Desert Island List

5 days ago
it's called a rigging axe. a fidget spinner isn't a tool let alone anything worth bringing to an island. when you say matchbox I think of toy cars and I'm fairly certain there's no such thing as a box of matches that are infinite so I'm going to presume that because you're bringing a fidget spinner you're also bringing a small toy model car since you seem to think toys are more important than tools.

bible for tinder is a good idea. it'll get you started really well because most bibles have thin dry pages similar to that of one-ply toilet paper.

The entire naruto series? all 4 episodes and 900 filler? you must be crazy.

you're bringing smash for the wii u but you don't have a wii u.

magic hats aren't allowed, but you could probably switch out that fidget spinner for a 100-case of mtn dew since you think anything is a tool.

all those years are what you can do in seven weeks. good luck depleting the fish population on your own. if the dogs wanted you dead they would've done it by year 1 of that plan. teach the puppers to play cards - youngins' learn quicker and better.

Desert Island List

5 days ago

Nah nah, we've got this magic figured out. It's entirely need-based. This magic always provides whatever is deemed ultimately neccesary for the event to take place. We need platforms to play our games on, so they suddenly exist on the island. We need them to be powered, so they're powered. We can't protect them from sand and weather in our current state, so they're invincible to sand and weather. We need medicine along with all our survival things, so we get fairies. See the pattern here? If Mizal says she couldn't survive on an island with the rest of us harrassing her, she gets a forcefield, if Tim says he can't survive without a hat of infinite drinking, he will have a hat of infinite drinking. It's only when you decide to settle for a boring life of labor and subsistence that the rules of being a survival dweeb in standard reality suddenly apply to you.

Desert Island List

5 days ago

Oh, but Steve gets the infinite lighter and nobody bats an eye, but I ask for an infinite box of matches and you gotta be sarcastic about it.

And I couldn't think of another tool that could be useful. Technically, rope and a metal pot aren't hand tools.

The point of the entertainment choices are meant to waste time. Give me all that filler shit. Ex. Fidget Spinner.

Could've sworn Mizal said we can bring any game and not worry about what it plays on.

Fuck you, my magic hat stays.

I mean, if I fish enough, there wont be any fish left. And the dogs needed me to bring food. Not 100% on if I'll fail or not, tbh.

Desert Island List

5 days ago
I don't read steve's posts often because I don't really like him. So I didn't know he got an infinite lighter.

you get to be on the island for 7 years - you could catch thousands of fish a day and you'll barely scratch the surface of the oceanic population.

Desert Island List

5 days ago

It's not the entire oceanic population though. It's the fish community in/around the island (at most 10,000 fish at a time). I most likely would have hunted every fish within a half kilometer radius by then.

Unless, Y'know, ~magic~ makes infinite fish.

Desert Island List

5 days ago
one tim has no need for 10,000 fish nor is he able to catch that many with spears on a boat for only the last 5 years of a 7 year stay. 6 fish a day, every day using spears and having to dive to get them after you get a kill? you couldn't feed a few dogs with that unless you expect to be consistently catching massive fish which often taste horrible and dogs would rather eat whatever life they can find on the island instead of a sunfish.

Desert Island List

5 days ago

Man, they ain't eating my fokin chickins.

Desert Island List

4 days ago

He chooses a bowl with silverware, and Fallout Deck of Cards. God, you'd die out there, and it would please me.

Desert Island List

4 days ago

Says the guy with a magic multitool.

How does a fucking vice grip fit on a multitool? Do you mean like Pliers or something? If so, how is it a hammer and two knives as well?

Desert Island List

4 days ago

I mean, it's not pliers, it's really more of a vice grips that's in the actual hammerhead itself. Anyhow, my thing both exists and is useful, your thing is a fucking bowl and silverware. Stop talking back to your betters Tim, remember that despite all your time here you've accomplished nothing and quite frankly never will.

Desert Island List

4 days ago

That second half of that last part is true, because I'm a no-good dirty bandit, here to steal your memes.

I'm not so sure about that first half though. I mean, I'm not the best guy, but I dunno if you're better, per se.

Desert Island List

4 days ago

The fact that you don't know only further my claim. You incredible ignorance helps show why I'm so much better than you, as you're little more than an unaccomplished, white Zag.

Desert Island List

4 days ago

You leave Zag out of this, you filthy profligate.

Desert Island List

5 days ago

I'm not so good at survival plans (I expect to last no more than a month before I commit suicide with whatever tools I've brought with me) so I will comment only on the entertainment aspect.

Books: 

- The Complete Works of Shakespeare (I have a copy of this in my room, got it for Christmas some years ago. Needless to say, it is a very thick volume.)
- The Skulduggery Pleasant omnibus (all 9 books)
- Lone Wolf series - The books are currently out of print (not counting that company which is apparently republishing them all but is doing so extreeeemely slowly) so I don't know how many of them I can bring. However, I will be satisfied with the Kai and Magnakai series by themselves
- 10 Fighting Fantasy books (I believe they can be sold in packs of 10, but bring more if possible)
- Hitchiker's Guide To The Galaxy Omnibus. Five books in one, plus an extra short story. I used to have a copy of this before my mum dropped it somewhere or whatever and our family was plunged into anarchy as a result
- City Watch Trilogy in Terry Pratchett's Discworld series - if there is a longer series, then take that instead, but otherwise I'm sticking with City Watch
- Heritage of Shannara series by Terry Brooks

Movies: 

- Wayne's World
- Wall-E
- The entire series of One Piece. Currently, the show is in a state that it will go on forever and ever (the manga is over 1000 chapters long and is rumoured to be halfway through now, the anime hasn't even caught up to it yet) so I anticipate that it will last longer than my sorry presence of this desert island in the middle of nowhere. Oh, there will probably be 20 movies by that point.

In the circumstances that allowing One Piece is found to be impossible, I would like instead to take with me all 41 seasons of Super Sentai, fansubbed or otherwise (there may well be 50-60 seasons by the time I get exiled, because they literally make a new season every year complete with an extra movie and crossover with previous seasons). If I can't take all the seasons, I'll stay with Jetman or Zyuohger.

Albums: 

- Valley of the Damned by Dragonforce (failing that, their Sonic Firestorm album)
- The OST of Kamen Rider Blade
- Gambling With The Devil by Helloween
- Advance and Vanquish by 3 Inches Of Blood
- Grom by Behemoth
- Songs From The Enchanted Garden by Ordo Funebris
- Blood On Ice by Bathory

Games:

- Ancient Domains of Mystery
- Morrowind
- Dragon Quest V
- Super Metroid
- Touhou 6 - The Embodiment of Scarlet Devil
- Kirby Super Star
- TMNT IV: Turtles In Time

Freebie: A memory stick. It will contain a few thousand games compressed into ROM format, easily enough to contain every NES and SNES game ever made, a working emulator for each console which can be played on the computer, a copy of Guitar Pro 5/6 so that I can continue to write songs, and a bunch of low-quality anime and TMNT episodes in FLV format to reduce the size.  

Desert Island List

5 days ago
could bring a state of the art external hard drive and won't have to sacrifice quality of shows and even put more games on it.

Desert Island List

5 days ago
You are all retarded and I'm washing my hands of this thread.

If I really, truly had an opportunity to isolate myself on an island far away from the rest of you, there's no way in fuck I'd be willing to leave after just seven years.

Desert Island List

5 days ago
some people already did that and it's called BHB

Desert Island List

5 days ago

*7 hand tools- Lighter, hammer (probably for protection and other uses), screwdrivers, a net for catching fish, planks of woods, other building materials


*7 types of seeds or animals- my dog, watermelon, apple tree, a sheep, a goat, two pigs (for procreation)

*7 books- all three of the Walking Dead Compendiums, three Invincible Compediums, and one other massive comic book that I'm unsure of right now

*7 movies- Game of Thrones entire series (including ones not out yet), Watchmen, Man of Steel

7 albums- DAMN. by Kendrick Lamar, How To Be A Human Being by the Glass Animals, Awaken! My Love by Childish Gambino, The Pale Emperor by Marilyn Manson, 3001: A Laced Odyssey by Flatbush Zombies, Melodrama by Lorde, and of course that new Tyler the Creator album SCUM FUCK FLOWER BOY.

7 games- Fallout: New Vegas, Skyrim (on PC, with mods), PLAYERUNKNOWN'S Battlegrounds, YuGiOh! with somebody to play with (magic, make my dog good at YuGiOh!), Left 4 Dead 2 (with online), DayZ (fast forward to when it gets out of alpha or gets a decent clone), and Pokemon Black.
 

Desert Island List

5 days ago

Bruv we dont got internet and you just chose 2 online multiplayer games

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5 days ago

It twas three.

AND I WAS EDITING, DAMN YOU

Desert Island List

5 days ago

Well, L4D2 you can play offline and still have fun. The point is, you can't even go online.

You can just say you change shit to other shit in a reply.

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4 days ago
I didn't know planks of woods was a hand tool.

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4 days ago

shit, u right

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4 days ago
Why a sheep AND a goat?

Either way, your diet is going to consist of apples, watermelon, and meat. Have fun with seven years of that.

I guess if you make sure to eat the livers etc. you might service, but I doubt it will be pleasant.

e: Actually to be fair I guess watermelon isn't a terrible choice, it does have a lot of vitamins, just, very seasonal and not really possible to preserve. Though I guess the rind could stand in for a type of vegetable if you could figure out a way to pickle it, and there are small benefits to the seeds if you eat a whole lot of them as a regular thing.

Desert Island List

4 days ago

The sheep is for the wool to keep warm, and the goat is for the milk. The two pigs will procreate and then I can eat them, once they have a whole food chain. Might have to worry about deformed pigs after a while, y'know, since incest and all.

 

Desert Island List

4 days ago
Could have brought a wool producing goat breed, or just milked your sheep.

Oh, and hopefully you people bringing just one animal for milk had the foresight to make sure it was pregnant, or I'm not sure why you think it'll be producing in the first place.

Desert Island List

4 days ago

My lack of knowledge on farm animals is being put on blast, I'm just a simpleton from a city, don't hate me familicious.

Desert Island List

4 days ago
ur gonna die lol