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A place to sit back, hang out, and talk about anything you'd like.

Looking for bad pick-up lines

9 months ago

Did you escape from a vending machine? Cause you're a snack!

Looking for bad pick-up lines

9 months ago

Hey... *looks at notes* d-did you f-fall from h-heav-heaven... *shuffles through notes* cuz y-you h-have the f-face of an.... an... *wind knocks notes out of my hands* no!! God no!! Sorry... I just... you're just so... so pretty... I'm sorry...

Looking for bad pick-up lines

9 months ago

Works every time.

Looking for bad pick-up lines

9 months ago

Calm down, buddy boo. It's okay.

Looking for bad pick-up lines

9 months ago
"your father is a thief; He stole all the stars and put them in your eyes"

Looking for bad pick-up lines

9 months ago

Thats actually really sweet.

Looking for bad pick-up lines

9 months ago
I concur that it's not vulgar or anything, but, at least in France, it's probably the cheesiest line of all XD

Looking for bad pick-up lines

9 months ago

If you were a Transformer, you'd be Optimus Fiiiiine.

Looking for bad pick-up lines

8 months ago

Hahaha, I think that one would actually work on me if I was still trying to find a date online! Just the right combination of cheesiness and dad joke.

Looking for bad pick-up lines

9 months ago
Had a friend who just slapped a girl on the ass. She turned around all pissed off, but he held out his hand and said, "Hi, I'm Brad." Thing is he's really attractive and charming, so she smiled and laughed. Next thing I know they're deep in conversation. Pretty sure he was deep in her by the end of the night. True story.

Looking for bad pick-up lines

9 months ago
So romantic.

Looking for bad pick-up lines

9 months ago

They are supposed to be bad pickup lines, not good ones.

Looking for bad pick-up lines

9 months ago

Hey! I'm calling the police. *Goes into romantic whisper* Because you just stole my heart. ;)

Looking for bad pick-up lines

9 months ago

The word of the day is legs. Let's go back to your place and spread the word.

Looking for bad pick-up lines

9 months ago
Now all I can think of is family guy. Bu bu bu bird is the word etc etc.

Looking for bad pick-up lines

9 months ago

Lol just horrible

Looking for bad pick-up lines

9 months ago

Tried it on Tinder a few weeks ago. Got laid unmatched. 

Looking for bad pick-up lines

9 months ago
We would make a sweet fruit cocktail together. You bring the tail, I'll bring the [CENSORED].

Looking for bad pick-up lines

9 months ago

Vice versa if gay.

Looking for bad pick-up lines

9 months ago

Do you believe in love at first sight? Or should I turn and come back again?

Looking for bad pick-up lines

9 months ago

This one is really bad and weird, heard it from a movie.

"I wanna text you, mail you, tweet you skype you...and if you still don't reply...I'll poke you."

The writer of the movie probably couldn't think of a proper closure and just wrote the first thing that came to their mind.

Looking for bad pick-up lines

9 months ago

Looking for bad pick-up lines

9 months ago

Am I at a mine? because I just found a diamond.

Looking for bad pick-up lines

9 months ago
"also a large number of African slave children. I'm pretty turned on right now for obvious reasons"

Looking for bad pick-up lines

9 months ago

Are you a doughnut hole? Why, because when we're together you make me feel whole.

Looking for bad pick-up lines

9 months ago

What's the difference between jam and jelly? I can't jelly my dick up your ass.

Results may vary.

Looking for bad pick-up lines

9 months ago

Oh no

Looking for bad pick-up lines

9 months ago
*slow clap*

Looking for bad pick-up lines

8 months ago

*look of disgust*

Looking for bad pick-up lines

9 months ago

You make my Gengar smile

Looking for bad pick-up lines

9 months ago

I’m lost. Can you give me directions to your heart?

There’s only one thing I want to change about you, and that’s your last name.

I’m sorry, were you talking to me? [No] Well then, please start.

Do you want to commit a sin for your next confessional?

 

Looking for bad pick-up lines

8 months ago

My name is (whatever your name is) remember it, you’ll be screaming it later.

Looking for bad pick-up lines

8 months ago
Hi. I'm required by law to inform you I'm a registered sex offender.

^^ Can't possibly be a less effective pick up line.

Looking for bad pick-up lines

8 months ago

Then you start doing the Sex Offender Shuffle.

Looking for bad pick-up lines

8 months ago

Officer Karr
"As a resident of Miami-Dade county it is your right to know the names and likenesses of sex offenders living in your area. As a public service, we've created this video tape, so that you and your friends and family can stay aware, stay safe and maybe even have a little fun. Enjoy."

All
The State of Florida has asked us to
Disclose our sexual crimes to you
We were bad, but now we're good
We're moving into your neighborhood
You know we're trying our best to be
Functioning members of society
We're not here to start no trouble
We're legally required to do the sex offender shuffle

Larry Arthauer
I'm Larry Arthauer and I'll refrain
From touching my neighbors kid's again
What I did was not too kind
But I'm a nice guy, you'll come to find
I've got a backyard and a real nice pool
Y'all should come over for a BBQ
We could make some cold drinks in my blender
But do keep in mind I'm a sex offender

Vernon Douglas
Vernon Douglas is my name
My battery arrest is what bought me fame
But there's much more to know about me
I love to dance, and I love to ski
I zip and zoom on through the snow
Just strap on my boots and watch me go
But I can't ski until December
Till then I'm just a sex offender

Charles Dolling
I'm Charles Dolling, dropping rhymes
I've been arrested seven times
I know that sounds like a lot
But three of those times were for vandalism
I feel real bad, I got caught
I might do it again, probably not
I'm not here to make pretenses
I'm here because of my sex offenses

Sam Pound
I'm Sam Pound, I'm number one
Apologizing for what I've done
Case you're wondering what that was
I snuck into a bath room and I fisted my cuz
I held her down and watched her struggle
Then played with her melons because I like to juggle
I’m not here to eat eats those truffles
I'm just here to do the sex offender shuffle

Laura Hughes
Hey everybody I'm Laura Hughes
Proving that girls can do it too
And by it I mean touch your cousin
Was it worth it? No, it wasn't.
You won't find me in your child's play set
'Cause I gotta wear this ankle bracelet
I'm not here to go on a bender
I'm here because I'm a sex offender

Marc Burmholdt
Last name Burmholdt, first name Marc
I'm moving in somewhere on your block
Not in a house, but in a van
If you need me to move it, I sure can
The last thing I want is any trouble
I've learned my lesson from the sex offender shuffle

Arthur Chase
I'm the one they call Arthur Chase
They said I didn't have to show my face
My first trial ended in a hung jury
If I'm found guilty they'll unblur me
I'm not the necrophiliac Arthur Chase
That's a different Arthur Chase
I'm not here to be my own defender
I'm here because I'm possibly a sex offender

Terry Polk
Okay real quick, I-I'm not like these people, okay? This is an extortion plot by my ex-wife, who's the only witness, and she's trying to take away my kids and if...
I'm not here to pack my duffel
I'm just here to do the sex offender shuffle

All
The State of Florida has asked us to
Disclose our sexual crimes to you
We were bad, but now we're good
We're moving into your neighborhood
We're obliged to admit
The crimes of which we were convicted
We're not here to start no trouble
We're legally required to do the sex offender shuffle

Looking for bad pick-up lines

8 months ago

Didn’t know that Sam Pound had actual full lyrics to his verse, in the video the camera temporarily messes up and cuts out just before he mentions fisting his cousin and only goes back when he mentions eating truffles.

Looking for bad pick-up lines

8 months ago

Yeah, I didn't know either.

Looking for bad pick-up lines

8 months ago

I actually got in trouble in middle school for listening to this song on my IPad. I was so mad because there were other kids down there for looking up porn and shit.

Looking for bad pick-up lines

8 months ago

Dude that's just stupid!

Looking for bad pick-up lines

8 months ago
Damn, my friend had a similar experience where he was selling drugs to people! He got caught. But there were drug dealers selling even harder drugs that didn't get caught! Damn you, World! Why does the innocent suffer!?

Looking for bad pick-up lines

8 months ago

Officer, I'm innocent! The illegal drugs I sell aren't even that hardcore!

Looking for bad pick-up lines

8 months ago
Give me Bob and vegene. Works everytime.

Looking for bad pick-up lines

8 months ago

Yeah...I’m sure it does...

Looking for bad pick-up lines

8 months ago
I tried to roll a donkey down a hill once, but its legs fell off, and it kept getting hung up on all the cactus plants.