So, the first thread was getting way too long, but there are still so many weird and wonderful comments to be shared! I'll start us off with a few of the best comments from LOVE SICK, since this game has some of the most beautiful gems of comments I've ever seen. ^_^
After I read this... thing, Joe the Plumber grew a bit. Does that make me a bad person?
-- Vitamins_n_Stds on 10/26/2008 10:46:37 PM
WTF I'm a Mormon retard. Usualy I like your stories but this one is all crazy and screwed up. I'm a little worried about your mental health...
-- Notorious streaker on 9/27/2010 11:33:37 PM
You know, it wasn't really necessary to say "I'm a Mormon retard." The retard part was obvious when you said you were a Mormon. Lol.
-- EndMaster on 9/28/2010 11:15:30 AM
First impressions: dick in ass....For anyone who likes to drill his own ass with his own dick, this is TheBeST story. It gave me some ideas on killing., anyway. A better way to rape someone is to poke out her eyes and skull fuck her, hahahah. Endmaster, seriously. Do you even have a relation with any female human? How come are you here writing for kiddies? You should be out their killing motherfuckers right now!! Bitch out. This story entertains like gangbang, and while it's fucking short you(the random asshole reading this) shouldn't consider it bad. L=Q. God pick me up!!? Hell, am i even alive. Is this story even real or is it just a pick of my imagination. Why should i believe that you aren't a tenticlatic alien, who fucks 100 whores a day? Are you even human? Review score:8/8.
-- Endrew on 1/9/2013 11:08:51 AM
your story was very fucked up and gross. incest is the most disgusting thing to hear about and it is also sick that you even had him killing innocent people that is so fucked up i can't even describe how fucked up this story is on so many levels i cant believe i even read this horrible story. i really hoped that story would with jail time or some kind of divine retribution at the end but yet he gets away with . why would even write this. i hated playing as violent diabolical unstable fucked psychopath i only played this damn story just to see if you as the protagonist get the punishment for such Evil deeds. this story is appalling.
-- eb2781 on 9/9/2013 4:59:27 AM
That story was perfect to send my already fugged up pre-teen mind into serial killer territory... Thanks End!
-- TheDickReviewer on 12/27/2014 7:31:16 AM
Aaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhh!!!! MY EYE NOOOOOOOOOO MY MIND IS--IS--I--SSS DDDYYYYIII---NNNNNNGGG FFFUUUK UUUU EENNDD MMMAAAZZZTTTRRRRRR 8/8
-- Negative on 3/11/2015 1:24:04 PM
You should make alot more o these but next time put ball busting and cuntbusting in it hahaha. With girls screaming in pain and boys starting to cry but make sure thy are under the age of 16 it qill be fin to rwad and decidw either to have sex with them or to punish their little dicks and pussys so please make anothee one like this.
-- me on 12/4/2016 7:51:26 AM
I know JJJ loves that Mormon one.
Actually, since Infinite Story may one day fall to the ever growing forces of entropy, might as well save these two gems over here.
OMG dude!!!! How could you not make a good ending, not a single one?! Do you know how depressed I feel right now? You are sick!!! YOU are the lich king. I'we read through every bad ending on purpose hoping and wishing that I'd end up with the good one, where the world gets saved and he gets together with the female general or something.
OMG OMG OMFG!!!
What have you done? You are evil!!! AAAARGGHH!!! I feel like crying right now. This is horrible.
To be honest, I have always felt that it's kitchy to make good endings in stories but now I realized that it isn't. Hoping for the good is my nature, humans' nature, SENTIENT BEINGS' NATURE!!! What the fuck has happened to your nature?!?!?!
How would a book like LOTR or Narnia or whatever feel if it had a horrible ending? It would feel horrible. Well, that's how your story feels, horrible. I feel empty and disillusioned and like I've totally wasted my time, I've been tricked and used. I suffered through all that gory, violent, cruel, sad shit that happened to the character (me in a way) and I got nothing for it. Makes me wanna kill myself right now.
Fuck you man!
drevenhaug - Jan 10, 2008
A Very Special Infinite Story
WTF, I thought I was a negative, pessimistic person, but you seem to be it because you like it!!! How could you write something liek this?! WTF is wrong with you?! What is wrong with the world?! This is just sick and wrong and evil. I'm not some puritane christian twat, I don't dissaprove of the individual events and endings you write about, what I despise is that you're just being destructive, you're not presenting any good sides, you seem to just be making fun of people that get problems and have unhappy lifes. That makes you the saddes kind of person. Are you a fucking psycopath? Don't words like empathy and compassion ring a bell?
Ok, I might be ufair and overreacting, I only quickly run through the female storyline and I just finished your Death Song story and wrote a comment about that. But I must say, BAD impression. I have been feeling bad all day and I decided to read your stories hoping I'd feel better but I ended up feeling worse.
And even with Death Song it's not like I didn't enjoy the story, I did, that's why I read the whole of it and rated it 9 when I was in the middle of it. But you've fucked up, you've given your readers a total anticlimax. Your'e a sadist with your audience.
Fuck you again you stupid jerk!!!
drevenhaug - Jan 10, 2008
Thankee kindly. ^_^
Endmaster, driving angsty teens to suicide since 2007. ^_^
Life as a Dog
cute but y cant it be longer with puppy sex?
-- computersuresrex on 9/10/2014 3:28:21 PM with a score of 0
Puppy sex? ... Does that make them a furry and a pedo?
Pedophile Sodomist... I guess. ¯\_(?)_/¯
@ZagHero your old account has been located. :D
The Left-Handed Man
1) I like it great game. I am left handed and I HATE it how everyone assumes I am right handed or that there is something wrong with being left handed
-- hugo23 on 2/13/2013 8:23:38 PM
2) Great story! And now I know never to discriminate against left handed people again :p
-- Briar_Rose on 12/4/2012 11:48:25 AM
3) BOORRINGG 3/10
-- JJJ on 6/18/2005 9:33:01 PM
Didn't realize we had stories based on the bible on here.
Speaking of which:
-- Jesus on 2/13/2017 2:04:49 PM with a score of 0
God's seal of approval.
Just don't let it go to your head
Lennon really was the Kanye of his day...
It good. Also, Jesus, I'm better then you.
-- Rock 'n' roll on 2/16/2017 4:29:34 PM with a score of 0
Mercenary Queen (Part 3): The Hemlock Band (Act B)
1st comment from Mizal
Well that went from zero to rapey to raped to death fast.
2nd comment from Mizal
Played through the rest of the paths during lunch earlier and uh, yeah this a pretty rapey game.
Be right back, finally have the motivation to play through this series.
Well, the "anything goes" tag is definitely appropriate for this storygame.
So this is the story? I haz to go to de zoo but I don haz car! Your neighbour kills his wife. Knock knock. "Hey Pete can I borrow your car?" Door slam shut. "Well I sure am glad you're so polite Pete! >:o "You want some coffee? -.- you get coffee "ey Pete where's the bathroom?" "Somewhere"
You find escape. Go escape. Find a wishing well. Find the chamber of secrets. The Ican'trememberwhatitwassnakethatkillspeople Is there you see a hat " Wait hats are magical! :D puts on hat. Hat Does nothing. :(
Kills self with brocken harry potter wand or jayfeather stick or what ever
-- Rosetail on 4/14/2015 1:26:35 PM
... What game was that comment on?
Chuck Norris Chasedown
Yeah, combined with the prejudice and discrimination against China, you LOSE! Horrible game - one of the worst I have encountered.
-- You are horrible on 2/19/2017 8:01:12 PM with a score of 0
Now I have to read this one.
Not because I'm going to have a cheap laugh at the potential racism inside, but more because I'm wondering how the hell a story about Chuck Norris ended up in the Edutainment section.
EDIT: Well that was disappointing. I guess it can stay in the Edutainment section though.
Awh, I like this one on Summer Lasts Forever. ^_^
To continue a discussion, this shit gave me cancer.
Or this cancer gave me the shits. Polls are still undecided.
-- iavatus on 2/14/2017 9:37:00 PM
Smart, innovative, and thrilling, "StoryTime!!" is that rare storybook blockbuster that succeeds viscerally as well as intellectually. If "StoryTime!!" is a metaphysical puzzle, it's also a metaphorical one: It's hard not to draw connections between Carly's pie-bomb and ScarletJScarlet's gift for thrill-- an activity devoted to constructing a simulacrum of reality, intended to seduce us, mess with our heads and leave a lasting impression. Mission accomplished.
-- Pastranja Hayes on 12/23/2012 11:31:00 AM
A tremendously exciting science-fiction thriller that's as disturbing as the comments make it sound. This is exceptional storygame entertainment with a knockout punch so intense and unnerving it'll have you worrying if it's safe to close your eyes at night.
This is spellbinding, transporting, damn near indescribable and the latest indication that ScarletJScarlet might be the slyest narrative tactician making storygames today.
-- KyleTheDragonSlayer442 on 12/23/2012 11:34:18 AM
This throbbing tale of robust dramatic timing was like a cascading explosion of literary ecstasy in my mind. Saturating the deepest recesses of the psyche in white hot creativity! It changed my life forever!
-- BerkaZerka on 12/23/2012 6:01:31 PM
Before I read this story I was blind, deaf and dying of a terminal toothache. Not only am I completely cured but I also lost twenty pounds, married a billionaire and single handedly saved the world from alien invasion all because of reading this story! Thank you ScarletJeScarlet! You have made the world a better place!
-- Briar_Rose on 12/23/2012 8:31:40 PM
You do realize that that author popped into CYS, created that story, wrote it and uploaded it within 24 hours, and was never heard from again. Maybe the story really did change her life.
That... or she just forgot her password.
The truth is out there, somewhere.
Weird, I don't remember this game at all. Must read it again.^_^
cool but how is this anything like fallout 3?
-- epix on 10/11/2016 11:58:23 AM
This just saddens me.
It's okay, I banned him 27 times already.
Yeah, this guy posts some weird comments:
im peter pan!!!!! oh wait....
-- epix on 10/13/2016 8:12:03 PM
Star Wars: A Outlanders Journey
I'm just starting this and I have spoken English my whole life so don't tell me anything about my English and this a sequel to a padawan journey from Jmgskill idiots and I will report you if you say about my English again
-- Kingskils on 2/26/2017 10:21:55 AM with a score of 0
This is pure comedy at this point.
So... He made a sequel to somebody else's game?
... ... ... Funsies! Why didn't I think of that? Time to get started on Eternal 2, Semra's Revenge! ^_^
Sounds quite interesting. Umm, I would be honored to co-author this with you if possible.
Seriously, I now want Thara and Briar to do this together.
Awesome!!! ... But I really think we should take BlueSabere's advice and make Semra nicer so that the game appeals to a wider audience.
I was thinking just basically make all the Eternals toddler age and they all play in a room and have make believe adventures. And Semra just comes in and checks on them every now and then.
Semra: "Is everything alright in here?"
All: "Yes. Mistress."
Truly, a story to make your dreams come true.
Yes, so much yes! But I think that we should retcon much of the sexual themes and baby throwing out of the story. Maybe Dendrin can also be unisex and a possible love interest.
Actually, would a rom-com be fine? All of the characters can be possible love interests, even Kane. Of course we'll have to downplay certain elements of his character, like the butchering and cannibalism a tad. We could make him tsundere and a vampire that simply goes like "*noms* rawr :3"
Who knows? It may be picked up as a illustrated light novel and then animation. We could then donate any and all funds to nurture sea life.
It'll be just like Mary Poppins! A spoon full of filthy Sveld baby blood helps the medicine go down. ^_^
Listen, dipshit. I dont care if this is your first game. Do you know how many times I had to replay this? Too many. Too many times. Oliver was way better than ****ing Daniel. I, a lesbian, am both offended by the lack of chemistry with Daniel and the lack of potential with Mary. Mary, our best friend, who's been with us since diapers (i assume). I don't want to get out of the friendzone with Daniel, but rather with our dear friend, Mother Mary. Good day, and good luck on future projects. Because although the game made me v upset, it's still better than our games, which is nothing.
-- butchbaby69 on 2/27/2017 1:41:00 PM
Chickdove REALLY likes Ground Zero…
1. *sigh* trying to do the right thing always gets you killed. But it is realistic. Also, I like last-minute discicions, and would like more choices.
-- Chickdove on 3/11/2017 12:27:49 PM
2. Dang it, second time playing started a rebelion, I'm not sure how I feel about it... I killed Eliot, I don't know if it was a good choice or a bad one, but I also killed his wife, and left his children orphaned, dove the thing into chaos, but if I learned something from my last playthrough, it's dont trust anyone, I trusted the family, they killed me. And so, I hope I saved everyone By killing Eliot, I'll never know...
-- Chickdove on 3/11/2017 12:48:31 PM
3. I partyed like no tommarow, cause there was none... best ending so far, better then getting shot by an angry women after killing a ton of people, or getting eaten by radioactive wolves, or getting stabed after starting a rebelion, wonder if there is an ending where I'll actualy survive XD.
-- Chickdove on 3/11/2017 12:53:49 PM
4. OMG so much hacking XD I died of hacking so many times...
-- Chickdove on 3/11/2017 1:19:07 PM
5. FINALY I got aq good ending, I'm on my way to meet becky, I don't know if I'll survive or not, but I hope I will, and I was able to save her, even if I don't.
-- Chickdove on 3/11/2017 1:34:52 PM
6. I was a complete sycopath, my life ended with someone shooting me after hiding in a bunker, his answer was "because you could" But, I know the truth, I did it...because I wanted to survive. I did it because the world was savage and chaotic, and killing seemed the only way. I tried to make it right by helping civalasation unfold again, but I had already created a monster, I was a monster. I'm not sure what I could've become, (other than dead) but I tried my best to survive, and in the end, I failed, in the end I realy just commited suicide. I failed in my quest to live, and created a monster of myself, I lived with a motto, "Never trust anyone" I broke it a few times, and that led me on this path, or maybe following it did. I don't know, I'll never know. I did horible things, and the last thought as I leave this world... "I am a monster, nothing I did really mattered in the long run"... but, perhaps, this is a lie, perhapes my life wasn't pointless, maybe along the line, I did something right, maybe...just, maybe. In another life, I'll follow this motto, I'll see what happens, in a paralel universe, I'll remind myself-The monster I have become
So deep! I love this, I have had many different endings. I'm going to find all of them, and replay the ones I have, leaving deep messages like this :D enjoy, I love stories, reading them and telling them.
-- Chickdove on 3/11/2017 2:16:11 PM
7. How stupid was I? I heard the sound, I had no reason for going out. I did, I drove, even... casualy? Idiot, I tell myself, as a bright light blinds me, the last thing I'll ever see. My life, it didn't count for much, I did nothing, nothing but go to work, pretending everything was alright, pretending everything is normal. I died, obviously. In another life, in a parralel universe posibly, I'll remind myself to listen to common sense, and not be so stupid.-The stupid person who thought the world was normal
Hope your liking these, I will get every ending immaginable :D
-- Chickdove on 3/11/2017 2:23:38 PM
8. I ended up partying, like there was no tommarow, turns out there wasn't. I finaly got my girl, at least I acheived that in life. I am looking into the horizon, I am at peace with myself. I have acomplished things that may not change the world in these last few days, but have made an impact on myself. I have been a free spirit, for these last few days, and I feel like nothing can shake me. As I look at her for the last time, I wonder if we could've been together had things been different. In an alternative universe, I will chase love.-A free spirit
-- Chickdove on 3/11/2017 2:28:52 PM
9. I knew it was her. But I was stupid. How could I think she wouldn't catch onto me? Is my last thought as ERROR blinks on my screen. My last that is to hope Becky is safe, and that she will rise above Miranda. In another life, I'll do everything in my power to protect her... I'll chose a different path, and another, and another. Untill, finally, we can be together.-A loser of the love-hack war.
-- Chickdove on 3/11/2017 2:33:16 PM
10. I didn't realise it was more than an AI I thought convincing it would be pointless, I was wrong. I begged it to stop my suffering it killed me. I should've thought it more than a compputer. It got it's revenge. I will trust it with my life, perhapes in another life, I will remember this.-The one who thought a computer was just a computer
-- Chickdove on 3/11/2017 2:37:44 PM
11. Something inside me, it begged me not to listen to the logical side of me. Told me not to dare touch rockerchick. I didn't Next time, I won't let this get in my way...I will win, I have no idea why I fight anymore, I thought I would, but I don't. All I know is someone is up to no good. The last thought going through my mind is, someday, someday...I'll have my revenge.-Loser of the hack war
-- Chickdove on 3/11/2017 2:41:46 PM
12. revenge was certainly not sweet, I fail to realise why I hated Shadow so much, but I do. I tell myself he isn't the real enemy just as many times as I tell myself "i was right". And as I die after my miserable days alone, I remember something. something that will certainly change my next path, I am stuck in this loop untill I suceed to save someone, and that someone is Rockerchick. Then I die, alone, but knowing I will come back untill I suceed.
-- Chickdove on 3/11/2017 2:46:14 PM
13. Suicide, the only way, I shoot myself, nothing else goes through my head. Except this: I know what I must do, Miranda is the enemy, to break the loop, I must stop her, And as I pull the trigger, I am back in bed, back where I started. I sigh and call again, ordering the same shelter, again, this time, I'll get it right-
-- Chickdove on 3/11/2017 2:50:38 PM
14. Well, that was that, I didn't know why, I knew the right path, but perhapes I know I have to find all of them, I left, I feel asleep, I don't wake up, but yet again, I do. I wake up every time, yet nothing I do is remembered, I am a type of time-traveler, seeking every timeline posible, this is going to take longer than I thought.
-- Chickdove on 3/11/2017 2:54:40 PM
15. I’ve been posting too many comments XD well this happened just the same as the rest. Dead, again. I wont tell what happened. ou have a pretty good guess by now, I'm sure. anyways, here we go again, my quest to get every ending is taking too long. I'll probably take a break.
-- Chickdove on 3/11/2017 2:57:53 PM
16. I folowed my motto, but again, it failed, it failed me. Next time, I will try to help others. Wait I've already tried that. Now it is time for a change, I've gotten like one "good ending, the one where I win the hack-war, and live with Becky. This time, I'm doing something different.
-- Chickdove on 3/11/2017 3:09:17 PM
Holy shit. And these were all left just today?!
Looks like she played it for about two and half hours.
Well at least she finally found an epilogue today. Lol.
EPIC I finaly got an epiluoge. I managed to join the compaound and turn it into the allience. This is my favorite ending by far, I wonder, what else could happen... if I joined a different side.
-- Chickdove on 3/12/2017 9:32:51 AM
Apparently, this is what happens when you take a glass of concentrated absinthe-espresso cocktail and drink while watching Inception. A dream where you dream of dreams you are dreaming of and dream dreams where you wake up from a dream and loop a lollapalooza and oh fark haywire dreams while spinning pike a theater couree and spaghetti with chickenheads...
No, I was not drunk when I wrote that part. I was simply dazzled and spun around at all that happened in some simple walk.
Because you spun me, this is not the best story ever. But not the worst, too. 5/8.
REMEMBER, KIDS! DRINKING ABSINTHE-ESPRESSO COCKTAILS WHILE WATCHING INCEPTION WHILE RUNNING ON TREADMILLS SPINNING AT 50 TIMES THE SPEED OF CENTRIFUGAL FORCE IS BAD FOR YOUR HEALTH!
-- AgentX on 2/18/2017 8:11:59 PM
I mean, thanks for saving me the 15 minutes I'd have wasted trying to read that piece of shit, but still.
Some shitty minecraft story that I just took down
100 fucking words and you couldn't bother to spell half of them correctly.
There's absolutely nothing positive that can be said about this, other than the fact that it's obviously getting removed, sooner rather than later. The forced restarts don't even make it a very time efficient way of reaping a point.
-- mizal on 3/26/2017 5:01:28 PM with a score of 0
That first line made me laugh quite a bit.
I'm pretty sure he republished it.
It has been republished ^_^ how sad.
didn't like this game. The riddle made no sense at ALL 1/8
-- RainbowDash on 3/27/2017 8:55:07 PM
Riddle. Not riddles. Riddle. Meaning she got only one riddle into the game and failed at that one riddle. That's just sad.
Lol, I just saw that one.
:/ many things not understood with this one.
I think about 80% of her posts have been stuff like "I don't get it," or "I don't understand."
She's like Tim. Except, instead of feeling like she's just not paying attention, she gives the impression of genuinely lacking the cognitive skills necessary to understand shit.
The group hug ending was just wrong. Seriously a red line has been crossed.
-- Iquarius on 3/28/2017 12:42:18 PM
I LOVED THIS BOOK! I might do the same thing to Jeniffer next time I see her (the poem and stripping of course)
-- Jihad on 3/29/2017 11:24:39 AM
This is ENDMASTER we're talking about. The line is far, far away.
The last part of the comment was just too funny to let languish in the FWW section.
"But at the moment I feel like it's probably better for their overall site experience (and ours!) to just, not sign up, rather than to be docked points/banned for shit posting or have their stories mocked and then unpublished because they're shitty children who are only capable of producing shit."
- Mizal's stance on children in general
Or they could just announce their age in the blurb of their game, and then everybody will rate the game really highly because they feel sorry for them! ^_^
Welcome to another episode of Immature Children.
Some of the riddles made no sense, like the one with the bus driver. How was I supposed to know his eye color? You should check out Dungeon Stompage by EndMaster. When your asked a riddle, you can type out the answer. See if you can figure out how to do this and your "story" would get a much higher rating.
-- Apollo118 on 9/10/2016 5:21:43 PM with a score of 0
Kid was recommending a storygame and couldn't even get the authors fucking name right.
it sucked booty cheeks
-- nawuisha on 9/9/2016 2:08:12 PM with a score of 0
Wouldn't be a true immaturity festival if there wasn't some mention of sucking "booty cheeks"
good... for your boredom!!!:[
-- wetern123410 on 10/9/2016 4:05:45 P
Watch out people, we have a rad new emoji and it's called !!!:[
A Very Special Choose Your Story
This is literally the worst story i have played Endmaster has seriously been letting me down lately. I mean come on there are lines that you just cant cross.
-- Iquarius on 4/12/2017 1:12:12 PM
Endmaster is seriously getting worse at this
-- Iquarius on 4/12/2017 1:17:46 PM
I sure hope so.
Dude joined a month ago. Seems to me he just recently read some of your more questionable games and went "Ohno End is so bad i h8 him"
Apparently, moral story means better story. Pssh.
Well what makes it funnier is this guy awhile back sent me a PM praising Necromancer/Death Song and I had a whole positive conversation with him.
it is too long make it shorter and put pictures and more color
-- Unknown on 4/21/2017 6:21:27 PM with a score of 0
EM, that is how you can have a perfect 8/8 story. Make it a thousand red words with a green background. Instead of using spaces between words, put a picture of a cat in there.
Wow, too bad we don't know his name. He could have gone down in history as the worlds biggest fool.
Yeah! For all we know, they could be genderless robots or unicorns.
Not on a story, but just too good to not put here.
"I don't believe in God and I just think about homosexuals." - Danaos
Clear example of why Atheism is the path to sin.
Dead Man Walking
You shouldn't include bad words and make the story shorter.
-- JASON ZHOU on 4/27/2017 8:59:10 PM with a score of 4410
This is probably the first time I've seen someone else get this complaint.
I think Kiel, Steve, and 3J got this a few times, but strangely it was never about the swearing.
-- EndMaster on 4/1/2013 11:40:21 PM
Palepaper are you even a real person? That's a Rolling Stones reference
-- Malkalack on 5/3/2017 6:33:31 PM with a score of 0
Oh how I love it when commas are not used...
This sucked the end
-- gamebruh on 5/12/2015 12:35:43 PM
E:Shit! I mean punctuation not commas! Mizal is going to kill me.
I never posted one from my own storygames. There's two that give me a kick.
From No Quarter
I like the idea, and the pictures lent it a certain feel, and added to the depth and plot, and it certainly branched out, but there was no well-defined plot, and while it is easy to guess that same plot, it still could use some brightening. It has a somber mood that works well with the length of the story, and the words are easy to read and understand. There are a lot of great qualities to this story, and they compliment the bad qualities very well, but, to my eyes, if you fixed just one of the bad qualities the story would be ruined. You have a ton of potential, and I would love to see another story. You grasped the story, and made it a summary, but made the summary a story of its own. You could give a choice on the second page though, instead of 2 pages in a row of no choices. Keep it up, though!
-- Anonymous on 1/29/2017 3:37:58 PM
" if you fixed just one of the bad qualities the story would be ruined"... what does that and quite frankly all of the other ramblings even mean?
From Life as a Time Traveler
This story is actually really good heck it could actually be used as a plot to a movie if someone wanted to
Actually that gives me a idea brb stealing this idea
-- Bob the idea stealer on 3/23/2016 1:26:58 PM with a score of 0
Oh, the humor of middle schoolers with far too much time on their hands.
The Price of Freedom
fuck you .you suck cock great story by the way
-- tanner gillis on 5/12/2017 1:51:31 PM with a score of 0
Guess this guy had a change of heart midway through his insulting comment.
It looks like he morphed into a different person halfway through.
My brother was showing one of our friends the site and let him play a story so I guess my brother wasn't watching. In that time our friend posted that comment.
This is the best story I've read so far. This is amazing keep it up! I rated it 9.
Missle0945 (Score of 0)
5/4/2017 7:22:15 PM
They enjoyed it so much they made a new rating.
Found this old post on another website talking about us.
Some guy called Dark (Seen that name around here before) commenting on several stories and had some rather strong opinions on Mommy. Lol.
Dead man walkng was exceptional, as was dungeon stompage, I also enjoyed the crab fighting game just for amusement value though that is hardly a story.
Snow however I didn't rate at all, sinse it seems A, that the thing was so on rails you got little choice before the end, and for most of the game there was so clearly a correct vs not correct path it made for nothing to play, and B, the relationship and circumstances were so generic as to feel artificial.
I have read stories of that romance followed by slightly ghostly tinge before, however they need to have som implicit reality in the romance, to make you think this is a character who really existed. Some generic fantasy girl who ticks all the hollywood boxes just won't do the thing justice at all, likewise the trope of "dead girl isn't it sentimental" hacknied at the time of dickens, indeed Dickens' own story the signalman which take the supernatural visitor premeise premise but uses a very realistic character and totally avoid the romance angle is probably the best story I know with that theme.
so, credit on the attempt with snow, but the execution, generic plot, lack of choice and pretty unrealistic romance just made the hole thing down right disappointing for me.
Regarding mommy can I go out and kill tonight, well my feelings are a little mixed. Technically this was is down right awsome, having rpg mechanics almost as serious as in dungeon stompage and it was pretty obvious that the author was experienced with descriptions and character creation.
My problem however was the entire theme and ethos of the story. Ooooh look, your a hard case who's awsome at everything, and you have a bad but somehow beautiful girlfriend, and you swear and carry guns and are a bad ass but also have some sort of generic anxty tragic past!
Frankly it just ticked every box I hate about hollywood heroes and completely unrealistic main characters or responses, indeed I confess this trope of "look man who goes through bad experience and is an ultimate hard case" is rapidly getting A, boring, and B, very irritating for it's unreality sinse of all the responses I've seen to really traumatic personal events becoming some sort of mix between rambo, blade the vampire hunter, james bond and lethal weapon just isn't one of them.
In fact, to be brutally honest this sterriotype of "oooo! look at my amxt, look at me being an arse hole" just dam well annoys me and I often want to see the vilains win against such characters!
even when not carrying a gun the amount of references to him being able to just kill people by scowling angrily at them and the "oooh look, here is a police officer doing his job, look how much a bad arse you are sinse you think about brutally killing him for no reason with your amazingly weerd skilsl" just got up my nose.
As I said, technically the game was great, I just found the overdose of machismo and attempt at anxt really irritating and rather formula and annoying.
Weird, I don’t really remember the protagonist being overly macho asshole. I guess I’d have to re-read the story.
In any case at least Berka has a really big fan out there as he liked all his stories.
The fact that he was considering killing the police officer is indicative of TOXIC MASCULINITY.
There were some misspelled words, and that you have to fix them. Also, the story was short, and your title is incorrect. It is supposed to be Polly Wanna Cracker? Or Does Polly Want a Cracker?
Story wasn't that great. But anyway, nice job.
Polly wanna cracker?
Daka da Maka (Score of 0)
5/23/2017 10:38:39 PM
*Gets spelling wrong in the same sentence spelling was criticized*
*Criticizes title because not all the words start with a capital letter*
*Basically says, "story was bad but good job"*
*Complete fail at grammar in the second two thirds*
*Is a fucking guest*
I didn't even realize this was your story until I checked. Lol.
Some Hockey Quiz story.
I hope you die. :D
-- Andrew on 5/31/2017 11:43:53 PM with a score of 0
I just thought the happy emote afterwards was a nice touch.
Good evening to you fellow CYSers, i was having a splendid afternoon, sipping a mixture of black coffee and mt dew when i sat down in my recliner to rea this, i immediately spat out my fine elixer. BAD STORY
never read, stay away,
Badboy27 (follow me on playstation)
-- badboy27 the destroyer of worl on 6/5/2017 2:49:11 PM
You heard him folks, follow him on playstation if you want to be cool. Lol.
I'm not sure how stupid you need to be to request follows on playstation like that...
The Price of Freedom: Innocence Lost
parts of it were hard to understand. I come from a Christian background so the concept of slavery and forcing children to kill is foreign to me, let alone, it being acceptable in ancient times. certain liberties were taken I assume. gladiators were men, not children and I highly doubt a master would allow a child to fight in the arena
-- JasonX on 6/19/2017 1:53:07 AM with a score of 0
I'm not really laughing due to the dude's religion here, but more the fact that someone with a Christian background (and presumably has read the bible) should be pretty familiar with the concept of slavery.
This guy obviously hasn't heard of Toddler Fight Club
Doesn't the Bible have rules about how to treat your slaves?
Great story. Reading this to my wife and letting her choose made a long drive fly by. You Rock!
-- Robert H on 6/19/2017 10:57:24 PM
Another marriage saved!
Thumbtacks were invented in 1900, yet this is supposed to be a fantasy setting.
0/10 literally unplayable.
-- FazzTheMan on 6/21/2017 10:31:39 PM with a score of 0
Weird, I don't even remember putting a reference to thumbtacks in the story.
He gave it a rating so low that it was nonexistant because of thumbtacks...
What storygame was this on?
Though I checked what he really rated it, and he didn't actually rate it low at all, he just wrote a comment like that for the lulz I guess.
Hey man, I want my immersion.
Wait, you can see how individual people rated stories?
Well yeah, it's a magical admin power. I know Seth mentioned it once on here before.
I can also see IPs of anyone who rated a story whether they're a proper member or a filthy unregistered guest.
Sort of amusing when someone tries to get around the system by rating a story a 1 and then uses a registered account to rate a story a 1 a second time (or vice versa).
Not sure if that actually works though, and I don't imagine it would be any more effective since even if the site is counting the "guest" rating separately, it still isn't going to do much damage (Or much help).
Aha, brb, am re-rating your stories...
'That story was perfect to send my already fugged up pre-teen mind into serial killer territory... Thanks End!
-- TheDickReviewer on 12/27/2014 7:31:16 AM'
Hey, that's my comment!
Was really fun. I liked that different choices brought on very different story lines. There were a few typos I think but it was still a blast! Also.. I did notice some one mentioned something about thumbtacks not being invented in a fantasy game with no real time frame that can invent anything it wants whenever it wants. They can go fuck them selves. Magic was not invented either. Just saying. Great work! Keep it up.
-- Doc Jay on 6/25/2017 2:37:41 AM with a score of 0
Hey that's pretty good
#remember the flowerpot
-- Steveend on 6/25/2017 7:54:58 PM with a score of 0
Without a doubt my favorite comment ever.
guck the stupid shit head author this isn't realistic at all you stupid dumb author
-- on 7/3/2017 4:45:31 PM with a score of 3660
Berka's been getting a lot more trolly comments than usual.
Achilles 2: The Chykri
1/8 for the self-righteous atheism and promotion of interspecies marriage which is somehow even more damaging than interracial marriage.
-- Victim on 7/8/2017 11:55:43 AM with a score of 0
I don't remember either of those things in the story to any great degree, but it's Steve so it's always funny to see someone insult him and everything he stands for. Lol.
Years Gone By
Very short, I'm very bored anyone wanna fuck?
-- johj on 7/11/2017 7:37:04 AM
Awakening of the Tower
This is surprisingly entertaining but I am very bored and horny. Could be better if you added a sexual encounter in it!
-- Johnharrisneedspussy! on 7/11/2017 7:45:14 AM with a score of 8
Cantina Band: Dusty Death in D-Minor
Would be better if you could have sex
-- I'm so bored thats why I am co on 7/11/2017 7:48:55 AM
I was looking forward to roleplay sex but there was none of that! Extremely horny and dissapointed
-- HornyJohn on 7/11/2017 7:52:10 AM
Obviously this guy got lost on his way to Literotica.
I get the story, but the tape was unecessary. This guy could use an editor.
-- TheBlackFL33T on 7/13/2017 7:38:26 PM
Says I need an editor.
Proceeds to misspell words in a single sentence. Lol.
As far as I could tell they're two different people, just the same retarded mentality.
These seem related…
Prisoners of Pain
HORRIBLE YOU FOOL! THERE IS ONLY ONE GOD!!!!!
-- Anonymous on 7/31/2017 5:23:49 AM
I am a proud MUSLIM MONOTHEIST and NOT anything else, how dare you write what you wrote in your story!!!!!
-- Haamid on 7/31/2017 6:39:35 AM with a score of 0
THERE IS ONLY ONE GOD AND HE HAS TENTACLES. THERE IS ONLY ONE AFTERLIFE AND IT HAS NON-EUCLIDEAN GEOMETRY!!!!!!!! FUCK YOU HEATHEN SCUMFUCKS!!!!
I think Skyrim might give him a cardiac arrest.
A Very Special Choose Your Story
STUPID, HORRIBLE, DISGUSTING,DESPICABLE, TERRIBLE !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
THERE IS ONLY ONE GOD!!!!!
MUSLINMS GO TO HEAVEN AND NON-MUSLIMS GO TO HELL YOU FOOLISH IDIOT!!!!
GAYNESS/LESBIANISM AND INCEST ARE HORRENDOUS SINS YOU MAGGOT!!!!
JEWS ARE TEERRORISTS, LOOK AT HOW THEY ARE KILLING INNOCENT PALESTINIANS AND SEIZING THEIR LANDS FOR THEIR OWN SELFISH MOTIVES!!!
-- Anonymous on 8/2/2017 2:37:17 AM
*MUSLIMS GO TO HEAVEN, AND NON-MUSLIMS GO TO HELL, YOU FOOLISH IDIOT!!!!!
-- Anonymous on 8/2/2017 2:53:36 AM
The way this story was written, was like an illiterate 12 year old beating a chimpanzee to death, and then getting eaten by a castrated Caracal. The english used was like that of an ancient Briton peasant child.
All in all, it is so horrid that even a blind man would score it high out of pity.
-- Kodrus Aeterna on 8/9/2017 9:21:32 PM with a score of 0
I feel like this was a CYS forum lurker who wrote this one.
This story is basically Night Trap 2...
-- Dana Plato on 8/18/2017 3:09:30 PM with a score of 0
Holy shit, a dead 80s child star came back from the grave and she's here on the site!
You still can't write dude...
-- Kiel_Farren on 8/18/2017 4:28:05 PM with a score of 0
That's the best one yet! Which one of you wrote that one? Definitely a keeper.
EDIT: It was Endeavour. (Probably, his IP is all over the recent 1s and 2s and strangely 8s near the top)
That's a gold comment. I was convinced for half a second, but then I remembered that even if Kiel did come back he wouldn't do it just to bash on you lol.
So of course I was correct in that it was Endeavour. He confessed in a PM. (Apparently he can't post on the forums due to using a Wii)
Apparently he was also Krodus (had a feeling that was someone here) Dana Plato (Figured that one might have been him after I figured out the Kiel one) and "Love Prevails" on another story.
So it looks like his hobby is leaving odd comments on my stories for whatever reason.
It's probably because he knows that if he leaves weird comments on your stories, then he'll get recognized on this forum. Just about the only way he can get attention without retaliation.
Found this while digging in the IS graveyard…
Eternal - 10 - Jul 26, 2017
Nine people have rated this. Nine.
In five years.
Somehow I get the feeling Rogues is never getting copied over to this sad old graveyard, no matter how many fond memories you have of desecrating corpses here...
Considering Legend is already over there, I've already considered not bothering, but I'll probably try to copy it over there anyway. (Yes, I'm still working on it)
A solid 4/10
-- Atryx10 on 9/13/2017 9:15:18 AM
One of the worst stories I've read in my entire life.
Not only do you not get to kill the fucking cuntbag of wasted space, there's also a fucking aushwitz reference thrown in just for the sake of it
-- Atryx10 on 9/13/2017 12:44:01 PM with a score of 0
So far the IPs don’t match, but if this is Endeavour fucking around again, I’m going to be severely disappointed by the fake outrage. (And docking points for getting my hopes up)
Oh Sentinel, got one for you for a change!
Randomly Walk II, The epic sequel.
HEY ASSHOLE FUCK NIGGER SHITFACE PUNK, REMEMBER ME?!
-- SAINT_999 on 10/6/2017 10:07:34 AM
Glad to see he got over his anger issues.
Could be someone messing around. The most recent IP of the "guest" (I'm assuming he rated it a 1) on Sent's story is different than Saint's old one, but he could just be posting from elsewhere. The guest IP doesn't match anyone else here that I can find either.
I like how he tried to ramp it up each time by going up on the scale of swear severity. And then he couldn't come up with anything worse than "nigger" so he ended on "Punk". It's like a perfect Insult Palindrome.
I'm wondering what the hell it is about that Phoenician trading story that draws so many spam comments. Every so often it just gets a bunch of them.
I can only guess the author isn't in the cool kids club at his school.
Again, this is a good example of what I said earlier about the Phoenician Trade Game story. This story just gets blasted with spammy driveby guest comments for some odd reason every other month or so. Have no idea why.
bob can good
-- bob on 11/3/2017 2:39:37 PM with a score of 0
Thanks for letting me live if i had die i would have been mad but i lived so im happy
-- JOPRGE on 11/3/2017 2:38:50 PM with a score of 0
It was ok not horrible but ok.ok.ok.ok.mmmmmmmmk
-- Robert on 11/3/2017 2:37:44 PM with a score of 0
hisssssss why did you make me die that was not nice
-- POBLO on 11/3/2017 2:34:46 PM with a score of 0
I hate homework,and nothing beats reeces. But cool game.
-- Anthony on 11/3/2017 11:16:49 AM with a score of 0
i always know how to do that (a.k.a.) IMA SUCK YOU!!!!
-- SKINNY JEANS little boisss on 11/3/2017 10:30:58 AM with a score of 0
Ima suck you
-- billy mase here on 11/3/2017 10:29:02 AM with a score of 0
I WILL BUILD THAT WALL NO MATTER HOW LONG IT TAKES!!!!!
-- Donald Trump on 11/3/2017 10:27:03 AM with a score of 0
IM RICK HARRISON AND DIS IS MY PAWN SHOP
-- rick harrison on 11/3/2017 10:26:59 AM with a score of 0
this game is a bleach worthy exprence
-- mc shuffle bottom on 11/3/2017 10:24:58 AM with a score of 0
i dont like the way it says
-- Littleboi 37 on 11/3/2017 10:23:50 AM with a score of 0
-- nuckleback mc sand done on 11/3/2017 10:22:24 AM with a score of 0
Alternatively, maybe Dini knew exactly what you were writing about and is just really into that kind of stuff.
Necrophilia is always beautiful and well, there is definitely a lot of touching :P
Did like Inseparable though, and when I realized he wasn't just sick, he was dead, well I half expected it but the revelation was still shocking.
I have to ask though, was Mondy dead when everyone started saying being with him was an abomination?
x'D Yeahhhhh that'd do it.
Well... there was a lot of words typed... So, I suppose that can justify featuring a user's genuine view on a storygame (especially if it helps the reader better enjoy the story albeit unintentionally on Dini's part).
Awwiee! Merci Mizal for your kind words! You made the best story-game ever, and that just topped Among The Trees by Steve. I can always count on you for your touching books which make me laugh and smile. The way you wrote about Inseparable.. I can't really describe my emotions.. It was phenomenal. Fantastic job, and I'm looking forward to more romance stories written by you.
It was kinda short but I feel that the substance of the story makes up for it. It was well written and you set up the scenes and places with a good amount of description.
It seemed to take quite the turn at the end, but it makes sense to me. While I can't be absolutely sure I'm pretty sure a certain somebody is probably a cold, stiff, corpse or something lmao.
-- corgi213 on 11/7/2017 8:37:05 PM with a score of 0
Edit: nevermind that last part, after reading some of the comments it seems apparent he is some sort of doll oops
-- corgi213 on 11/7/2017 8:39:10 PM with a score of 0
RIP corgi the gullible one.
This is the story game that I worked on for a long time. Please send me a message explaining what bugs there might be. Also DON'T UNPUBLISH THIS GAME!
-- JeromeHatik on 11/10/2017 12:41:41 PM with a score of 0
If it's anything like several of his other stories, he'll give me little recourse.
I've already unpublished a couple of his past stories and I had to tell him to stop republishing his Out of Time one since it doesn't meet site standards.
What did he do? XD
Took down all his stories.
And there may have been some PMs exchanged about site standards and an unwillingness to learn. Lol.
Ooooh. So I'm guessing he was someone who kept republishing everything then.
Basically it was just the one story like 4 times and then when I told him that if he did it again I'd just delete it, he demanded a "legitimate reason" to why it was getting taken down. I told him to read the fucking guidelines and that it was failing to meet standards with a 2.5 and falling.
What does he do? He republishes it AGAIN and says that he's in the "clear" because he "fixed" all the problems with the story.
So at that point I deleted it and docked him points. Then his newest story also fell to 2.5 and I unpublished that too.
Guess it was all a bit too much so he took down all of his stories and nothing of value was lost.
Yikes. I guess my featured comment on one of his stories is now gone, so boohoo. I put my soul into that End.. But I do have to say, his story was pretty shitty and I didn't really like it. Maybe Mizal has to teach him the basics of writing a good book or something among those lines.
Wow. Stubborn :P
I hate you. Suck on that.
-- mizal on 11/12/2017 11:37:26 AM with a score of 0
Oh come on, if you're going to pretend to be Mizal, she'd at least have more creativity than that.
I'm gonna go with: commenter whose first language isn't English, but wanted to compliment the evocative descriptions in the story
Waiting For a Train
YOUR STORY LITERALLY GAVE ME ANAL CANCER BECUZ OF HOW EDGY AND EMO IT WAS, IVE HONESLTY FOUND A REASON TO FINALLY KILL MYSLEF 420BLAZE DEDIQATED WAM 4 MINECRAFT SERVER
-- MILF DESTROYER 69 on 11/20/2017 9:51:45 PM with a score of 0
hahaha... you have no idea about what is like to be cursed. You think life would end so easily for one who is cursed? If one dies young I would say that person is blessed. Live through life with all your loved ones dead and a hopeless life with no future. Maybe then you'll know how it is to grow old as a cursed old man. ;)
-- cursed on 11/18/2017 3:32:58 AM
I’m glad some cursed old man decided my storygame was worth his time.