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Got a favorite storygame? Can't beat The Wal*Mart Game? If you're here to play storygames, this is the forum for you.

Review this story game?

9 months ago

http://chooseyourstory.com/story/experiment-gone-wrong~3f  

Review it. smiley

Review this story game?

9 months ago

Probably won't even click because the last thing they saw was crappy half-baked shit from me and most likely refuse to click on this.

 

Review this story game?

9 months ago

Here is a html link. Cause convenience!

Review this story game?

9 months ago

Clicked it and immediately noticed a tense change in the first sentence.

Review this story game?

9 months ago
the mark of a master

Review this story game?

9 months ago

Gah I'll take the blame for that one.

Is this better tense wise? 'Waking up, Ethan feels like trash.'
Or am I just being an idiot and don't recognise what tense 'Waking up' is in?

Review this story game?

9 months ago

We all feel like shit when we wake up. Describe it my dear boy, add some thoughts. 

Review this story game?

9 months ago

Adding more depth isn't on my 'to do' list at the moment. Mostly rewriting stuff to ensure it is grammatically correct/flows better. I'll also split stuff into more paragraphs out of habit, hopefully don't end up doing that the wrong way tho. >->

But thanks, will note down that more character thoughts should be added when their thinking is being described (in a sense, and for the initial parts at least).

Review this story game?

9 months ago

Yes, feels is correct. I'll get to the rest of the storygame when I've got the chance.

Review this story game?

9 months ago

Thanks, and because I have to give at least one excuse, the whole thing isn't finished yet (in case you assume it is).

Review this story game?

9 months ago

Pretty sure that this post isn't even supposed to be in The Lounge, but sure yeah. Okay, I noticed a mistake on your second link where the game ends immediately. 

Review this story game?

9 months ago

Just to check, second link as in second link on the first page? Or second link on the page after the first page?

Mainly I need to make sure it isn't an actual error, but I will say that one of the first links leads to a page with the 'End Game' link. The second page has two links as well, but neither of which should be ending the game straight away tho. I might be looking in the wrong place tho.

Just telling me the page title should be good enough for me figuring out what is wrong tho.

Review this story game?

9 months ago

It's an improvement over the one that you published before. 

Review this story game?

9 months ago
Did it get taken out of sneak peek?

Review this story game?

9 months ago

I just checked. The answer is yes. Apologies for the inconvenience.

EDIT - Site background is Beige? Not sure why I'm asking... as I already know the answer from before.

Review this story game?

7 months ago

Review this story game?

7 months ago

Well I might as well put a link here (for convenience): Experiment Gone Wrong?

If anyone is up for a challenge, pm me for your instructions. ;)