Hey, I just published my first storygame, Missing in Action. I think I followed all the necessary steps, but please let me know if I got something wrong. All feedback welcome, and the more detailed, the better. Thanks!
Sorry about that, and thanks, 3J. Looking forward to hearing what you think.
Definitely better than anything published since early September. I like it.
Thanks, Jeff. I appreciate that. I know you're an honest, critical (in the sense of reading with a keen eye, not necessarily negative) reader.
Hey, 3J, first, thanks for taking the time to read and comment. Second, I need to know which ending you chose that seemed so disappointing to you (not the spider one, the other one). Also, the two threads aren't the same. While they share some of the same moments, here's a critical difference between them, in how the guys survive the cave. But your comment at least gives me a lesson in why not to use some of the same material in two very different plot threads.
Spider killing is sadism? haha
That's the first "lame" ending that possibly comes up.
Thanks, 3J. I appreciate that. Perhaps this is a good time to comment on my process. I took a linear story I'd written a long time ago and rewrote it to fit this medium, adding large chunks of new material in the process. I was also trying to play a bit with the conventions of CYOA, which is why I consciously chose to break a few rules--perhaps to bad effect. :) When I took the two events--singing in the cave to stay alive, and the pissing to stay alive--and split them into two different outcomes, it shortened the perceived length of time in the cave. I also wonder if with this genre readers will want more action on the part of the guys in the cave instead of being rescued by the mother--can you handle being rescued by the mother? :). At any rate, I think I lost something in the translation to CYOA from the original story and didn't make enough use of the links within this medium. Ah, well. I've never flowcharted anything like this before, so it was a fun and instructional process for me anyway!
As far as A), I wanted to play a bit with character motivation and consequences of previous choices, getting back to your relationship with Rick. I guess I'm a little disappointed that we "can't" build in a little reversal like this every once in a while.
B), yeah, I should have done more with that thread.
C), that was just a joke, and a way to split off a first bad ending. But I can see that it might have been too much of a taunt.
I hope I can break some rules here and there as I carve out my own way of approaching this genre. I read CYOA books in the 80s and loved them, but I come back to it from having read mainly literary fiction (as opposed to fantasy or other genre fiction) as an adult. Not saying that's better, just where I'm coming from.
Hey, thanks for all the feedback. It's humbling to start from scratch learning a new way to construct stories after having published numerous times in literary journals, secured an agent, made something of a name for myself, etc. I really appreciate how much time you've spent on this feedback. It might take me a while, but I hope to try creating a storygame that is all new for next time. I wonder if someone with more experience at the game side would be interested in co-authoring? I'm good at characterization, description, and plot, but I'm new at the game aspects, and I'm not a programmer. I can think pretty logically, but it would be nice to learn variables and other advanced elements from someone with experience.
i noticed that you started with a linear story and tried to branch it. ive never tried that, but im sure its very difficult to accomplish. as the original story is the one with your heart and soul in it. personally, ive started writing many linear stories myself and have found it difficult to switch back to writing in the CYOA format. hopefully you can overcome that obsticle however.
as for someone coauthoring with you, the original response people get is "you need to write a few stories first, before we will spend our time with it". many of us have been burned with new 'authors' coming in, asking if they could coauthor with someone, and then the veteran on the site would end up writing all the story. lol we hate that with a passion!
however, what type of story are you interested in writing next? we have different people with different interests on the site here. 3j is known for long stories with complex puzzles, rommy is known for a couple of war/scifi stories. Endmaster is known mostly for his sick and twisted fantasy worlds. im more of a modern day realist. and madglee is known for his story Mommy Can I Go Out and Kill Tonight (a must read), thats about the only vets that really stick around the site anymore.