Non-threaded

Forums » Writing Workshop » Read Thread

Find proofreaders here, useful resources, and share opinions and advice on story crafting.

A Possible New Storygame

7 years ago

So this is a detailed and interesting idea for a Storygame I'm thinking of making;

“Corruption. Politics. War. Terrorism. Religion. Each one of these played a major role in the end. Each contributed themselves to worsening planet Earth, ending it in their own sense. When the Cold War ended, the World gave a sigh of relief. But tensions rose again, and mistake after mistake, setback after setback, it was only a matter of time before someone became fed up with the nonsense and pressed the button. Every Decision is made in a moment. Every Decision has lasting effects. Some can last for years, but the ones made on that fateful day would last forever. And forever wasn’t a long time anymore. Almost 8 Billion People didn’t see it coming, couldn’t predict it. They were powerless to do anything as the call was made. The bombs fell. Less than 10% of the population survived the destruction. The World would never live to see Grass grow Green again. Some call it the end. I prefer the 'Reset'.

Five years. Gabriel wanders the broken World with no clear destination, only a hope to continue Surviving. The road he travels down is cracked and crumbling, the shadows of the innocent stain it, their positions showing alarm and fear. Their arms protecting their head as they run. Most people saw the bomb drop before it hit, but there was nothing they could do. They were vaporized in an instant, and these Shadows of them are all that remains. Gabriel sometimes stares at them, trying to imagine what the person looked like before the end. It's hard to get detailed features from a shadow.

He continues on his way, down the desserted Roads of Hell, wandering aimlessly, tirelessly, hoping to find other Survivors, or a stash of food at least. Ever since he's emerged from the Bunk House last year, he could immediately feel himself being eaten away, dying ever so slowly. The fallout lingered, and he'd been poisoned by radiation. He didn't have much time after that, but he did what he could, keeping his tissue covered, his face wrapped in cloth, it kept him alive, but only bought him time. It was pointless though, he was going to die anyway...

Gabriel stops as he watches a figure emerge from it's post lying on the hood of a Car's remains. It's body is mutated, the left side of it's face hangs low. Clothes ratted and torn, it's almost naked as it stumbles towards Gabriel. It's Eyeballs protruding from it's sockets, it has no hair and it's teeth are sharp and elongated. The skin is pale and rotting in several areas, offspring of the Apocalypse. Nothing new to Gabriel.

The Spawn snarled as Gabriel approached it. He swiftly pulled a knife from his worn pocket, and moved towards the Demonic being. Sticking the Blade into the head with skill and precision, the Spawn went limp, and it's corpse fell to the ground. Gabriel moved on his way, wiping the dark red, clumping blood from his blade on his pant leg and put it back into the pocket.

Gabriel never stopped, he couldn't. He had hope that he could find salvation, find people, find a new beginning, to restart and continue his life. He never found it.

The last Man on Earth died on September 13th, 2024 from radiation poisoning. Throughout History, Humanity had hunted and killed Species into extinction. It only made sense for the last Species to go extinct was Humanity itself, killed by it's own Weapons. There was never a safe Haven, never a Hope. Never a future. Only a dream.

A Possible New Storygame

7 years ago

Ooh. I really love the idea, though if he dies in the end, if other humans aren't found, then what would be the point of the story? It's no fun to play a storygame and have the players die at the end of each branch. Well, depends on the plot, but since there's apparently no interaction between intelligent (or compassionate) organisms, I'd find it pointless. :/ @Seto was writing a storygame about someone who was a "last survivor", but there was human interaction (sorta...) because of an imaginary sister.

A Possible New Storygame

7 years ago

Well, there will be interaction in the beginning, and when it comes to imaginary, the character would begin to hallucinate the longer he was alone, but yeah... I'd probably kill off the main character at the end.

A Possible New Storygame

7 years ago

So it's a survival story that always leads to failure/death? Hmm... Make it good, sister. Make it good. :)

A Possible New Storygame

7 years ago

XD Thanks Cres. I do like the story's where everything that happened was a failure and everyone dies in the end. It's so tragic and cliche, I love them!

A Possible New Storygame

7 years ago

I pray that Procrastination does not visit you and curse you.

A Possible New Storygame

7 years ago

T-T sadly it always does. I'll only finish it if I remain enthusiastic about it XD

A Possible New Storygame

7 years ago

Then stahp replying to this and get your fingers typing/pen movin! xD

A Possible New Storygame

7 years ago

Will do, love!

A Possible New Storygame

7 years ago

I got tagged o-o

Either way, I like the story idea. Then again, I really love post-apocalyptic stories.

I'd be pretty excited to read this when it's done. :)

A Possible New Storygame

7 years ago
Post apoc fic is nothing new, especially post apoc fic combined with zombies, but any idea can be made to work if you put enough care and thought into it. There's nothing wrong in principle with a game with only bad endings, but I'd recommend against outright declaring that up front, or of writing the entire thing as unrelentingly dark and depressing. It's easy to go overboard with that kind of thing to the point where the reader isn't engaging with the character anymore and all the layers of shit heaped upon shit that happen to them become almost comedic, or worse, boring.

You've got a lot of randomly capitalized Words in here as well as some noticeable punctuation issues, but I'm assuming this is still a rough draft. Watch out for tense switching as well.

Are you going to be doing some research on radiation poisoning?

A Possible New Storygame

7 years ago

Thanks @mizal, this is only a rough draft version, and I'm definitely not having it all dark and depressing. There will surely be humor and excitement... maybe even romance! I will be doing research on Radiation poisoning.

A Possible New Storygame

7 years ago

:o romance??? But... with whom? O.O?

A Possible New Storygame

7 years ago

One of the people to die XD

Like I said, Tragic.

A Possible New Storygame

7 years ago

Just don't pull a warriorcat by just barely mentioning them, throwing you quickly in the relationship, and killing them off, then expect the readers to mourn them :)

Characterization is key.

A Possible New Storygame

7 years ago

Oh yes. The Walking Dead is my guide in Characterization, the Comics XD

They do amazing Character development.

A Possible New Storygame

7 years ago

;-; Not all wc stuff is bad xD But I completely agree that most of it is. Tragedy!!! *sighs* I'm pretty bad at writing those. T-T

A Possible New Storygame

7 years ago

I am generalizing. If anyone remembers "Fishing Pulls", that one had amazing characterization.

However, the romance of most of the WC Storygames here were "Sandstorm married you, she has a sandy colored pelt and striking green eyes, you have kits together, she dies."

A Possible New Storygame

7 years ago
Daisy dyes of to much radiation in childbirth leaving you with six kits, there names are Leafshadow, Amberpelt, Shadowpaw, Starpaw, Startail, and Starstar. Yuo love them very nmuch but won day they gt eaten by Zombies. You cri and cri adn your heart brakes insdie you. You die.

A Possible New Storygame

7 years ago

True. RIP WC

A Possible New Storygame

7 years ago

Mizal :o you've forgotten all the details! Like what color was her pelt and her eyes!

A Possible New Storygame

7 years ago

Was that how ?WC stories went??? D: Damn. No wonder the mods got rid of them.

A Possible New Storygame

7 years ago

Yup. They were usually worse. At least this one didn't have detailed cat-porn.

A Possible New Storygame

7 years ago

That's just... *sigh* I shall never have the chance to redeem WC now...