I've recently been doing some serious editing of my original story, added in some descriptions that are more in tune with the characters thoughts, emotions, and senses to make it less dry and technical sounding. Thanks to the suggestion of someone who I showed a piece of the story to. Also there is a lot more stuff happening within a shorter amount of time, pushing things forward.
If anyone would be interested in giving me some feedback on an excerpt I've written, I would greatly appreciate it.
