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Opening a story with dialogue?

6 years ago

According to the articles I read about well, story creation, it's a bad idea to open stories with dialogue. Opening CYOAs with dialogue are tricky, but I unfortunately started my last minute chaos entry (which I still have 2 days to complete) with dialogue. I would like opinions about this matter such as if it's a good idea to create an opening with dialogue. 

I started my story with rumors about the delinquent protagonist that started the chaos in my story which in this case, is a famine and a tiny amount of backstory to the place where the story takes place in. It should tell the plot of the story so I don't need to write the plot overview. I suppose I should show you what I wrote since you bothered to click this thread so here:

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"Have you heard about the infamous delinquent in school? I think her name was... Skye the Fly?" asks Craneo, one of the nerds; one of the four archetypes in school. The nerds seem weak and frail, but they have their hand at technology and brains.

"Rumor has it that she caused the nuclear war indirectly, the Skye family is influential in Twinbrook, particularly in the A-C sector." says Lan Fan, another nerd in the group.

"Why were the sectors divided though?" asks Medusa, a fit female jock. Jocks are often obsessed with the latest sports gear and staying fit is the way to survive, just like survival of the fittest. "Shouldn't we work together to survive the nuclear famine?"

"Well, we have to figure out whose friend and foe, that's why we have to create secto-" replies Craneo, immediately stopping once he sees a student blocking the way to school.

That mysterious student is extremely intimidating, appearing as the group turned into a corner. She has a crowbar in her hand, and she appears to have a fit stature. From their faces, it could be assumed that they were going to be ambushed, so Lan Fan grabs a crowbar from her pocket. Before she could attack the intruder, someone in the group shouts.

"Oh no, it's... Sky The Fly!?!" says Craneo, preparing his body to run, but Medusa blocks his way.

"Are you seriously letting us girls to fight her alone? I guess that means that you're just a coward, Craneo."

The mysterious girl opens up her mouth to speak, taking a step forward. "What were you sayin' about me? Rumors fit you Craneo, you're not able to confirm them without evidence, AND SO SHOULD BE YOUR VERY EXISTENCE!" 

"I like her already," says Medusa

Opening a story with dialogue?

6 years ago
I could see a couple of things to suggest here but sorry you're the competition right now, it is not in my interests to help you.

Opening a story with dialogue?

6 years ago

Well, even after the chaos contest, feedback is welcome. 

Opening a story with dialogue?

6 years ago
It's fine to open with dialogue.

Opening a story with dialogue?

6 years ago

It's tricky opening up with dialogue, yes.

The biggest concern is that we don't have any context about any of the characters, settings, or events that transpire in your story.  You realized this, so you tried to add adjectives and descriptions as you go along.  It IS a bit clunky, but not necessarily too bad.  Since you're a bit out of time, I would work on your story as a whole, and come back to this if you have a couple of hours to brainstorm and think of a better situation.

A story that starts with dialogue that came to my head was Endmaster's Eternal, although there is a few differences in my opinion that makes it different over your dialogue.  First, it's told by two nameless characters that have no real importance, so the author doesn't need to spend time in developing them.  Actually, through the use of dialogue, he helps supplement the setting in which his world is set in.  We know something about the Eternal program, supersoldiers, the empire and emperor; and a little something about the protagonist.  Secondly, it's End.  Many of his readers will know something (or everything) is going to be fucked up in his world, so going into the story, we already have an idea on what to expect.  

Reading over his dialogue again, I also notice that he mostly develops background information, rather than any critical current event.  Perhaps you will take away something from writing dialogue first.

Best of luck.

Opening a story with dialogue?

6 years ago

Until you mentioned it, I actually forgot I even started Eternal off with dialogue.

The story that came to my mind that started with dialogue was Love SICK.

Opening a story with dialogue?

6 years ago
As Fyle mentioned, it can be tricky. That said, I often like a story that opens with dialog simply because when there is dialog, there is action. I like a story that's moving and grabs the reader, and if you are starting out with dialog because there's something exciting going on, I think that does work GREAT. I wouldn't write multiple pages of dialog to start out, but it can work well.

In the section you've written here, if you want my opinion, I think you're trying to hard. In other words, when I read the dialog and the explanations around the dialog ("another nerd in the group"), I feel like you're trying too hard to explain what's going on, and that's actually taking away from the dialog. If this is going and filled with action, leave off the explanations until after the dialog.

Of course, that's just my opinion and maybe worth exactly what you paid for it.