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How do I write a story without seeming too direct?

9 days ago

I love writing fiction, but whenever I try to draft CYOAs, I get visions of my English teacher saying, "Show, not tell." How do I improve on this?

How do I write a story without seeming too direct?

9 days ago

Describe the setting. Here, take this passage from my personal book for an idea of what I'm saying: An eerie silence blanketed the forest, the cold air stale. The sky shifted to a dark gray like a surging river of ashes and decay, bringing the swirling wind whispering through the trees. The ground, dry and cracked, was covered in a thin layer of frost. Thin fingers of ice reached down from the branches above, unmoving, still as the forest around them.

Just add more description, and don't just write: the grass is green, and the sky is blue. Describe it! Does this make sense? x'D 

 

How do I write a story without seeming too direct?

9 days ago

Yeah, I know that, it's just I can't seem to write in decisions, if that connects? For instance, having a scenario that isn't completely controlled by me. Giving agency is my struggle.

How do I write a story without seeming too direct?

9 days ago

I just placed two links about the whole show, not tell thing in this thread.

http://chooseyourstory.com/forums/writing-workshop/message/23546

How do I write a story without seeming too direct?

9 days ago

Interesting, thank you.

How do I write a story without seeming too direct?

9 days ago
This should go in the Writing Workshop, but basically telling boils down to describing or summarizing events, while showing refers to parts of the story where things are actively happening. Dialogue, gripping imagery and sensory details, emotions, direct actions etc. all combine to put the reader more immediately in the events of the story.

Instead of 'Bob gets angry when you tell him the truth,' which is generic and boring and doesn't elaborate on the situation in any meaningful way or show how the character of Bob handles anger, you'd want something like 'Bob doesn't answer, just stares at you, his face turning a dark shade of red. He turns abruptly, still without a word, and strides toward the door, slamming it shut behind him. A moment later you hear the engine of the car rumble to life and he roars off into the night, leaving you seated alone at the table with his untouched dinner.'