Well this contest was a fucking shitshow.
The only “feels” this contest managed to incur is disgust and loathing. Granted I feel that way most of the time about all of you, but this only enhanced that experience.
A few of you fuckers didn’t even fucking try and just fucked off somewhere and the rest of you just sat around with thumbs up your gaping assholes and bitched about the shitty site fucking up, ultimately turning in subpar work as usual just to save your miserable hides.
Let’s just get on with it.
PIT OF SHAME
Meanwhile there was MrAce who had one last chance to actually improve his station in life and he couldn’t even do the bare minimum to do that. Well much like the government, we follow the three strikes law and have no more time for your bullshit.
Congratulations, you’re the first fucktard to get yourself banned for failing to turn in anything for a contest three times. Ironically, that’s probably the biggest achievement you’ll ever achieve in your life.
BANNED AND SHAMED
Negative (multiple times)
Finally, I didn’t think I’d need to bring this out again, but some folks are just determined to go above and beyond for epic level of fail.
END’S CELL OF ETERNAL DISAPPOINTMENT
I have no damn words for this. Well actually I do.
I mean Digit failing this spectacularly I suppose was inevitable. But Ebon, holy shit. I mean this is the guy who brags as much as Steve about writing stories that are going to kick everyone’s ass.
Not only did he get upstaged by Wibbons who he had an ongoing rivalry with for this contest, but he failed so fucking hard that worse writers than Wibbons even did a better fucking attempt. I mean coins turned something in.
FUCKING COINS IS BETTER THAN YOU.
Let that fact sink into your fucking skull the way my dick sinks into his mom.
And in case you dickheads are wondering why IBV is in there with you lot, well that’s just my way of making things more amusing for me.
Also, if you’re thinking it’s a mercy to be in a cell with a female of low moral fiber, I’ll remind you both that she’s been branded a scarlet color for a reason.
You’ve now got shit they don’t even have names for just by breathing the same air as her you lazy faggots.
And here, enjoy some “mood” music that will be playing 24/7 while you’re at it.
Anyway, that’s a wrap for this SHAMING, and you fuckers were more terrible than usual.
Does this mean I'm not in the Pit of Shame either?
Nope, you pulled yourself out.
Nothing like narrowly avoiding the cell of eternal disappointment amirite?
Anyway Mizal told me to make sure Ebon feels extra SHAMEd so uh... You suck Ebon, even fucking Coins got a halfway decent story out.
More like the Cell of Eternal Crotch Rot now.
Or as Malk said in the Villain Lair:
"Why the fuck is IBV calling me edgy? This is a girl who literally wipes her ass with her own abortions for fuck's sake."
Yeah, I found myself really reluctant to just churn out something when I knew I'd lost inspiration. I'll work on getting more site points by actually finishing and publishing my current works and the next contest I enter, I'll complete something and pull myself out of the pit of SHAME.
Just wondering, though, why are some of the names bolded in the first list? Does that mean anything, or...?
I don't know, maybe I'm sick. But what a song choice.