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EPIC Adventure Thread

5 years ago
Sunday, June 17: Update #1 (to get it out of the way early)

Working Title:: Bestist Frend Jane

Plot Synopsis: After his best and only friend’s brutal death, a seven-year-old boy sets out across the country hell-bent on fulfilling her dream. Along the way, he must overcome his deficiencies—both real and imagined—to assuage his own pain and guilt.

Genre: Adventure

Theme: Overcoming – fear, weakness, and whatever else I decide to throw at him.

Setting: Rural America and points west, ca. 1970s-80s

Main Characters: While he's likely to meet dozens of other characters, the primary villians will be nature and his own personal demons.

Note: This is just an initial guesstimatation. Who knows what will happen along the way?

EPIC Adventure Thread

5 years ago
I think I remember you talking about this idea before. Seems like a pretty unique idea, not sure if anyone else is doing something so grounded with a real world setting. I look forward to reading it, good luck!

EPIC Adventure Thread

5 years ago
Are you keeping notes on me or something!? Lol

I've been toying around with this idea for a quite a while now with only vague and random notions, then along comes this EPIC contest and I think "This is perfect! What better way to tell it if not EPICALLY?"

And Thanks! I look forward to writing it.

EPIC Adventure Thread

5 years ago
Seven? He's seven? I would imagine to a seven year old, "across the country" could be down the block and around the corner. This one should be interesting to implement in any sort of realistic way, good luck with it!

EPIC Adventure Thread

5 years ago
That was the only thing I wasn't sure about either. A kid that young wandering down the road alone I'd think would be getting noticed by concerned people even in the barbaric 70s.

Homecoming by Cynthia Voigt is what I'd immediately think of with a story like this but even then Dicey was 13 iirc and a group of siblings walking along in the summer just looks like kids goofing off.

EPIC Adventure Thread

5 years ago
I was seven the first time I hopped a freight and ended up halfway across the state. I think my character can handle it.

EPIC Adventure Thread

5 years ago

This sounds like a intriguing approach. Epic is all about perspective. Often for me as the scale of an adventure grows, it looses its personal touch, which is close to everything for me as a reader. Now, for a seven year old, everything is personal, and everything is huge. I'm most definitely looking forward to this.

EPIC Adventure Thread

5 years ago
That's kinda what I had in mind. I have high hopes for it at least and haven't lost interest like I have on so many of my other projects even though it's been slow going and I have to keep backtracking to make all the pieces fit together from my notes.

I'm still working the kinks out in the initial setup. Once I can get past that hurdle, I can start working on his epic journey. To you and me everything he faces might seem insignificant, but he won't have the tools and experience to deal with it so he has to come up with his own solutions.

EPIC Adventure Thread

5 years ago
Sunday, July 1: Update #2 on story progress and any issues in the writing process

Progress: Some. I'm currently at 10K words (I should be 12K by this time, but things happen) and would be much further along if I wasn't constantly being pestered by people needing their stuff fixed, but there are bills to pay and food to buy and since I can't get by on a steady diet of words I'll just have to take it all in stride.

Issues in the writing process: Again, my word count is at 10K and I still haven't reached the inciting incident that I need to kick off the real adventure. With any luck, I'll get caught up on word count and manage to get to that turning point sometime this weekend.

EPIC Adventure Thread

5 years ago

10K seems pretty damn good. Good luck kicking off the adventure. :)

EPIC Adventure Thread

5 years ago

Not sure about the the title, everything else seems really cool and interesting about it, in a really unique way we don't get a lot of on the site. Best of luck.

EPIC Adventure Thread

5 years ago
Sunday, July 15: Update #3 on story progress and what you like most about your story so far

Progress: I've kinda let my daily word count slip a bit. I'm almost to 14K due to being busy with work these last couple of weeks and felt too exhausted to write afterward. I've forced myself to write a little on it everyday, though.

What do I like most about my story so far? This question should've been asked early on, because right now I can't think of one single thing. I'm still going to do my best to finish it, regardless, and I refuse to do a half-hearted job. That's why on days I can't find the words to put down, I spend time editing to make it read somewhat better. I just need to somehow find my enthusiasm again.

EPIC Adventure Thread

5 years ago
A tip to maybe encourage some enthusiasm, if possible: make a random branch of your story go somewhere completely silly or fun. Not for advancing the plot or any other reason. Maybe it's a birthday party, maybe it's a carnival or a town celebration. Just something that you enjoy writing and find fun as a side trip in the story.

Hope that helps!

EPIC Adventure Thread

5 years ago

You've got this buddy!  You just need to think about your original reasons for why this story seemed like a badass idea when you first thought of it.  

Or maybe think of some exciting places the story could go during the main plot or a side branch (as Ogre has said).

Good luck, I have full faith in you.  Any chance you might be posting an excerpt for us at any point? :D

EPIC Adventure Thread

5 years ago
I wasn't really planning to, but maybe it'd help with my enthusiasm if I got some feedback.

* * * * *

You sit with your shoulders slumped, dragging your feet in a circle as the swing’s chains lazily wind and unwind and then wind up again. You’ve already walked around the park twice and sat on everything here so now all you can do is wait.

“You wait here an’ watch our stuff,” your mom had told you, “I’ve got a lot to do today an’, with any luck, things’ll be a whole lot better from now on. And don’t you leave the park! You hear me? I’ll be back as quick as I can.”

Your stomach grumbles. The two half-crushed, cheese and peanut butter crackers your mom gave you before she left didn’t do much to satisfy it. At least the gnawing emptiness is gone.

You hear a squeal and giggles so you look up. Some little kids are playing in the dirt at the bottom of the slide as if it were a sandbox. A dozen steps away from them sits a plump woman with her nose in a book.

You survey the park for other signs of life and spot a group about your age. Three boys in a circle around a dark-haired girl. They’re pushing her back and forth between them like some demented form of ‘Hot Potato’.

“Where do you think you’re going?” jeers the fat one.

“Yeah, you ain’t goin’ nowhere you little bastard,” quips the snotty runt.

“Let me go!” she hisses, “Leave me alone!”

The tallest of the three quakes from head to toe in breathy laughter as he shoves her back toward the other two.

The girl turns beet red from anger and lashes out with flailing, non-connecting slaps which only seems to feed the boys’ histerical laughter.

“Leave her alone!” you command as you trot over to them with more brass than you really possess, “You like picking on little girls?”

Their shock fades instantly when they see you and Chortle begins to jiggle. They either aren’t that impressed by you in the slightest or they’re extremely good at hiding it.

Chortle grapples the girl as Tubby strides up to you, heeled closely by Snots. You suddenly feel smaller and more helpless than at any other time in your life, but you refuse to show any sign of it.

“Who are you?!” demands Snots.

“Is this your little girlfriend?” jeers Tubby, “Have you come to rescue her?”

You feel your face flush red, but not from embarrassment. You are livid!

“Look here, this guy’s here to save his bastard girlfriend,” spits Snots.

You step forward and Tubby grabs you in a meaty “bear hug”, but not before you put your fist in Snot’s mouth. He falls back in horror with a tooth dangling below his upper lip and starts tearing up.

Tubby swings you around in an arc and falls on you with every ounce of his weight knocking the wind completely out of you.

You struggle against his massive frame, kicking and thrashing, but there is no escape. It’d take a bulldozer to move that tub o’ guts.

He crawls upward and pins your arms with his fat legs and starts drilling your forehead with his meaty finger. “Wanna be a tough guy, huh?”

The girl manages to land one of her backward kicks and Chortle falls like a sack of potatoes, screaming in agony as his face goes purple. She turns and darts between two houses on the far side of the street.

“Get her,” wheezes Chortle, “Get that little bastard!”

Snots runs to his aid and tries to pull him to his feet between sobs, but can’t muster the strength. Chortle is in no condition to stand just yet anyhow.

Tubby turns back to you and pounds a couple of stinging blows to the side of your face, then smooshes your head into the soft earth as he hoists his lard back to his feet and saunters over to his friends.

You roll onto your belly, push yourself up and limp away in the other direction.

Looking over your shoulder to make sure the trio aren’t watching, you dash between houses and start making your way back toward where the girl went through.

EPIC Adventure Thread

5 years ago
This is really good. You always talk about how you struggle so much with getting the words down, but it all seems to flow so naturally when actually reading.

The only thing I'd advise is keeping an eye on dialogue tags with things like 'jeers' 'quips', 'hisses' and so on. The usual recommendation seems to be to avoid them altogether, and while I wouldn't go that far, they can be distracting if overdone.

EPIC Adventure Thread

5 years ago
Thanks! I'm always second guessing my writing and concerned that others might not read it the same as it plays out in my head.

I usually only use a simple dialogue tag (ie. "she says", "you say", "says Jane", etc.) to kick a conversation off so that the reader doesn't have to puzzle over what's going on or do any backtracking, and then drop them altogether when they're no longer needed. In this sequence, however, there are four brand new characters being introduced in the middle of action and I thought that they needed a little something extra to differentiate them and give the reader a glimpse of their distinct personalities.

EPIC Adventure Thread

5 years ago

They're pushing her back and forth between them like some demented form of 'Hot Potato'. I loved this line.

This was well written and entertaining. Even with this short excerpt you showed that the character clearly has some life struggles and dilemmas, as well as setting up the general tone of the story.

The characters, although just introduced, each had their own personalities developed right from the start. That is not an easy feat in my opinion!

Now I am wondering what happens next and I can't wait to read this when it's published.

 

 

EPIC Adventure Thread

5 years ago
Wow! I'm feeling better about my story now so thanks for suggesting that I post an excerpt. With any luck, I'll be able to hang on to this feeling I have right now and write more than a few words here and there, and actually gain some momentum on this thing.

EPIC Adventure Thread

5 years ago
"The two half-crushed, cheese and peanut butter crackers your mom gave you before she left didn’t do much to satisfy it." I think the comma here isn't needed, not sure though. This is the only mistake that I found so far. This is really good, more please?

EPIC Adventure Thread

5 years ago
I think you might be right. I just heard a pause there when writing that sentence and dropped in a comma out of habit.

EPIC Adventure Thread

5 years ago
I think this and what Ogre said are good advice for jump starting your enthusiasm.

EPIC Adventure Thread

5 years ago
Sunday, August 5: Update #4 on story progress and what part of the story has been most difficult to tackle

Story progress: My word count is at 24.5K right now and is still just a linear story written in 2nd person. I expect the main path to be around 40K when completed all on its own.

What part of the story has been most difficult to tackle? I think I've identified about half a dozen decision points now, so it'll still be a lot to read between choices. I guess the hardest part was to find time when I both feel like writing and also have the time to sit and actually put words down. The first act was the toughest to write even though it was the most thought out, but the section I'm working on now is more of a slog than I expected it would be. So, I guess it has all been about on the same level as far as actual difficulty goes.

It's obvious that I should've done more actual planning before sitting down to write so after this contest I plan to spend time figuring out some sort of approach that will work for me. It's the only way I'll ever be able to tackle writing a CYOA since they don't come easy for me.

EPIC Adventure Thread

5 years ago
On the bright side you're set up to have a completed full length novel even if you don't get around to writing out the other paths.

EPIC Adventure Thread

5 years ago
Sunday, August 26: Update #5 on story progress and how you've managed to stay motivated

Story progress: I just hit 35K and am still on the first path with no choices whatsoever.

Motivation: I've kept a spreadsheet detailing each day's word count and automatically make various calculations for me on targets/goals or whatever so I can look back and kick myself for how little I managed to write every day. I've constantly complained about it in IRC and Discord because it's weighing so heavily on me at all times. Things such as that.

Anyway, I'm still beating my head against this thing and looking forward to finally finishing it so I can relax.

EPIC Adventure Thread

5 years ago
Hey, you're staying more on task than most. A strong stretch will get you there.

EPIC Adventure Thread

5 years ago
Quick reminder: the "C" the "CYOA" stands for "Choose..." ;)

Good luck on the final laps!

EPIC Adventure Thread

5 years ago
Sunday, September 9: Update #6 on story progress and editing plans

Story progress: Currently, I'm at 49.5K and only have six ending(and one epilogue that I threw together). I'm having trouble reaching the daily word count that I need to actually pull this thing off, but I'm slowly gaining on it. There's still 15 days left 'til the deadline and I still have to come up with 11.5K more.

Editing plans: I've been editing all along when my brain can't come up with something new to put down and I'm not sure that I'll have any time to spare to devote to strictly editing. I'll be lucky to get this thing formatted and uploaded to the site by the last minute.

I'm definitely going to give myself a round of applause for actually sticking with the same story for as long as I have and writing on it every single day.

EPIC Adventure Thread

5 years ago
You've got this IAP!

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5 years ago
Hooray! Sounds like you're going to make it!

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5 years ago
I just realized the typo. It's only 10.5K short of the minimum word count right now.

And thanks guys! It means a lot to have you in my cheering section. I couldn't have done it without you.

EPIC Adventure Thread

5 years ago
I've finished with the writing part. I still have to come up with page titles, format it and upload to the site within the next four days.

EPIC Adventure Thread

5 years ago
Hooray, glad to hear it! Good luck on the last mile!

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5 years ago
I made it! Thanks to you and everyone poking and prodding me. It feels great!

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5 years ago
Well, I've finally finished something. Whether or not it's decent still remains to be seen.

Bestist Frend Jane

Thanks to everyone who continued to push me and cheer me on throughout the contest so I could actually finish something for a change. You guys are great!

EPIC Adventure Thread

5 years ago
Congratulations IAP. Now that you know you can finish something (and something large at that), the world is your oyster!

EPIC Adventure Thread

5 years ago
Thanks, Bucky!

It feels great hitting that publish button on something I devoted nearly every minute of my free time to for a little over three months. I'm going to take a step back and catch my breath before diving into my next project. And now that I'm confident that I can actually finish something of quality, I'll try not to get distracted by something new and shiny. With any luck, I'll get a few more sizable games under my belt.

It's been fun, I guess. But, this contest really wore me out. No more rushing to meet deadlines for me.

EPIC Adventure Thread

5 years ago

Congrats IAP. You've managed to avoid the SHAME that everyone else is seemingly embracing this contest.

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5 years ago
Much appreciated, End. I'm still soaring from the rush. I'm hoping to do even better with my next story. No more contests for me, though. I've definitely learned my lesson.

EPIC Adventure Thread

5 years ago
I'm planning on taking this story down over the weekend and fixing all the things that eluded me before hitting the publish button. It won't be down for long, though, because I'm proud of this monstrosity.

EPIC Adventure Thread

5 years ago
You should be.

EPIC Adventure Thread

5 years ago
I'm taking my story down to implement some "fixes". Hopefully, I'll have it up again sometime tonight.

Sorry if this messes up any saves, but it's important.

EPIC Adventure Thread

5 years ago
It's back up now. I hope I didn't break something in the process.

Anyway, enjoy!