This sounds really cool.
Cool AND fancy!
Nice, looking good and the world seems interesting (although not much to go off by yet).
Anyway, my one gripe is that you capitalize letters after dialogue when you shouldn't, namely with things like:
" 'Where are you?' You ask, feeling nervous now that the music is no longer calming you."
Notice that if you took out the dialogue the sentence wouldn't make sense, because 'you ask' what? This means the you ask (and following part) are in the same sentence as the dialogue. What do you capitalize in a sentence? The starting letter, along with proper nouns (names), and I's in reference to self (however you describe it >->).
Anyway, this means you want the 'you ask' to be lower case. Further, here:
" '... be a water spirit.' You ask,"
Refer to the earlier part where I said " 'you ask' what? ". This applies here as well, it doesn't work as a sentence, which means you want the closing dialogue punctuation to be a comma, and then the 'You ask' lowercase once more.
Worth mentioning, if the dialogue ends in a exclamation (!) or question mark (?) it doesn't get converted to a comma, but the following 'you ask' would stay lowercase to keep it all the same sentence.
Mainly remember that you want sentences to make sense, and while quotation marks can surround whole sentences, things like 'you ask/question/say/inquire/scream (etc)' all fail as sentence parts if the part which is 'said' is not mentioned there in the sentence. Generally that's how I think of it anyway.
Dialogue punctuation! Quotations marks show spoken dialogue, they don't automatically surround whole sentences. Dialogue ended with a comma won't cause the next word to be capitalized as a 'sentence start' capitalization, so keep it lower case if it isn't something that would normally be capitalized (like a name). This mainly applies for dialogue followed by a 'you said' or variation on it (i.e. 'you demand'), so keep an eye out for those.
P.S. Hope this makes sense, but feel free to look up dialogue punctuating yourself, note that it is not something I'd consider general writing knowledge, plenty of people don't know about it, so most people probably won't notice/care, but aiming for being correct is still a good idea I say (at least until language has officially 'evolved' to a point where something else is grammatically correct, aha).
P.P.S. I find it funny that the 'Uncharted World' is charted.
I can't wait to read this, I love how well fleshed out your world seems and I'm really fascinated by Norse mythology and ancient traditions in general.
Regarding this snippet in particular, I liked the description of the nekki; the phrase "as if trying to look at someone through a dense fog" is not unheard of, but it's very effective and evocative. The tone and style themselves contribute to the Norse fantasy atmosphere with their candid natural descriptions.
Zake already mentioned the capitalization error, so the only one I can point out (aside from minor typos like "as you are trying to look at someone" instead of "as if you are trying to look at someone") is the repetition of "water" in the paragraph that starts with "The music suddenly stops." It isn't in any way a big error, I'm just nitpicking, but it can sound a bit redundant.
Oh wow, you really have me hyped. Can't wait to try it!
Frjalsland > Skyrim
Hey, just curious, but what programs do you use for your illustrations? I assume that is also how you got your header fonts?