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So, after several months of fucking around with plans and outlines and barely getting any actual writing done... I've finally finished the first chapter of Price of Freedom: Brothers in Arms, and now that I have a set outline, I'm hoping the rest of the chapters will come quicker and easier.

Either way, since the game contains a shit tonne of variables and coding, I'm guessing it's going to be full of bugs regardless of how many times I test it, which is why I'm looking for a whole bunch of people to beta-test. So, if anyone wants to be an official beta tester please let me know. ^_^

Anyways, here's the link: http://chooseyourstory.com/story/the-price-of-freedom~3a-brother's-in-arms
 

My plan is to keep the first 3 chapters as an open demo, then have the rest of the game only accesible to Patreons and Beta Testers (mostly for the sake of the COGers, since those guys really love a demo, and it tends to draw in a much larger crowd.) Either way, since there's only one chapter so far, doesn't make much difference. Please feel free to point out all the multiple mitakes I've undoubtebly made. >.<

I can help if you want. I'll read through the first chapter tonight and give you some feedback.

Awh, thanks Dima! 

Hi Avery.

I should be writting right now: but I saw your post and had to see what you'd made. I went into the story having not read innocence lost, but after reading this it's moved a lot higher up on my 'story games to read' list. I liked the setting, I liked the themes and most importantly I liked the characters. I've played through it several times (once maxing out strength and making friends with the brother character and once maxing out stealth and making friends with the thirsty girl by the well) but I found no bugs. In addition to this I found no grammatical nor spelling mistakes. The one thing I disliked was the fact that you left the story threads dangling at such a pivotal plot point: I'm genuinley excited to see what happens when the main trio go into the areana for the first time.

Unfortunatley I'll be away from my computer and my account for a few weeks beggining tommorow, however if you're still need a proofreader/bugfinder after that time I'll be happy to help. I'll shoot a you a PM when I get back?

-SSdev

Ah, Innocence lost was actually the 2nd storygame I read (the first being EndMaster's Ground Zero). I truly recommend reading it.

You seem to be everywhere I post castor.

I don't seem to, I AM. If I see a recent post on the forums, I am there.

See my iconically low-quality profile picture? That is a beak thing, and it sees all - despite having no eyes. I am there before someone makes a new message.

Awh, thanks so much, I'm glad you're enjoying it so far. And it's pretty safe to assume I'll still need beta testers in a few weeks. I imagine it'll be several months (possibly up to a year) before the game is finished. ^_^

Anyone who hasn't read Innocence Lost should drop everything and do that now. I'd say it was the best game on the site if that wouldn't be considered blaspemy by adherents to the CYS state religion.

Wait, what? Better than Eternal? ... Even I consider that blasphemy. O.O

(Thanks though!) 

If you'll have me, I would be more than willing to beta test.

Thanks! Glad to have you. ^_^

... And Gower just pointed out that Brother's in Arms shouldn't have an apostaphe in the title, so the new link is: http://chooseyourstory.com/story/the-price-of-freedom~3a-brothers-in-arms 

He pointed out what now? Can you repeat that, I didn't catch it the first time.

What, you've never heard of an apostaphe before? It's like a small, raw frog spawn dish, generally used as a starter, that's considered a delicacy in French cuisine... Seriously Mizal, you uncultured swine. >.<