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So, with education literally beating my brain to a pulp, I cannot create new worlds in my head anymore.

Just give me a plot, and I'll try to place it somewhere into my little tales (have not said anything about my Tales because I was busy with other stuff).

Although this would defeat the purpose of "from Swift's Head" part of the title, I am willing to get my fingers moving out of their own volition, rather than waiting for someone to reply in the "Hall of Heroes" forum-game.

*BBZZRRRT!!!

That was the sound of my brain, trying to comprehend what you just posted LOL!

Are you asking for a plot-line so you can write something?

What a lovely way to recycle some of my ideas that are too shitty AWESOME to use myself. May contain violence and/or stupidity.

1. Post-apocalypse, the owner of an auto body shop becomes a ruthless warlord who dispatches leather-clad henchmen into the wastes to steal the last remaining fiberglass pickup bed roof so he can paint a skull on it. They succeed, but the roof has been cursed by the souls of the damned so that no matter how carefully they prep it for refinishing, the paint always peels off. SPOOKY!!!

2. An android kills its creators, then loses its memory when it hits its head after tripping on a banana peel. The amnesiac android at first thinks itself to be human, but upon discovering otherwise, goes in search of its creators and eventually finds that they are dead - oh shit!

3. In a dystopian future, everything that could possibly be even slightly hazardous in even the least likely circumstances is restricted by the government. In this harsh world, a 13 year old boy, faced with the embarrassment of potentially walking around with a boner all the time, comes up with the idea to tie his penis to his leg - until the authoritarian government enacts a ban on string! Will freedom and justice prevail? Find out in this issue of Tales from Swiftstryker's Head!

4. A hardcore punk band holds a contest at the local bar to decide on a new name, with a $25 prize. A fangirl submits the name "Rectal Evisceration," which clearly deserves to win the contest, but her less-creative friend ends up taking the prize by performing sexual favors for the band members. The two friends engage in a discussion about the place of women in society, and whether or not it is possible for a young woman to be successful without using her sexuality to manipulate those around her. Then, the girl who lost murders the bitch by eviscerating her rectum with a claw hammer.

5. A woman who cares way too much about the brand name of her clothing and accessories goes to the Salvation Army store to buy a birthday gift for her niece, but there, she falls through a wormhole to a parallel dimension where there are no clothes except the ones that have also fallen through the wormhole from the Salvation Army store.

6. Endmaster and Nevermind switch bodies.

Awesome ideas Loon! One idea I came up with when I was looking around the site and I kept finding tonnes and tonnes of zombie games with people trying to survive a zombie apocalypse and I thought... This has been done so many times. They even have a zombie tag for them all... There's no ghost tags or vampire tags, just zombie tags.

So I thought to myself, there's so many games where you play as a man in a zombie apocalypse, somebody should make a zombie game with an original twist. So I figure... Make a game about a zombie trying to survive a human apocalypse! It'll be awesome! The world's full of people who keep running around screaming and shooting at you and all you want to do is munch a few brains. Is there not room in this world for one peckish little zombie?

There actually is one game here on the site where you play a zombie... Can't recall which one though...

I was getting to the point where I would make a nuclear apocalypse, with vampires, zeds, ghouls, demigods who can explode/burn/use-the-force on everything they see, good sapiens, bad sapiens, and mercenaries.  And then I got tired of Fallout.  :P

Awesome plot hooks loon!

Here, let me try one...

Dungeons and Dorks
“I AM THE DUNGEON MASTER!!! ALL SHALL BOW BEFORE THE SUPREME MIGHT OF MY MIGHTY ICOSAGON!!! TWENTY SIDES OF HIT POINT ANNIHILATING DOOM!!!
MWUHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!

Five friends play D&D, but there’s one problem. They all want to impress the only girl in the group.

You
You are the Dungeon Master – you don’t have a car but can borrow your mom’s. You live in her basement. You want to drive Tina home so you can get her alone to express how you feel about her. And maybe, if you’re really really lucky, put the moves on her.

Tina
The gamer Grrl! She’s hot and not in a gamer sort of way – you can’t believe she wants to play D&D with you! She plays the Cleric, but doesn’t really want to. (Steve picks up on this and offers her his thief… the big jerk.)

Steve
The overly dramatic “role” player with cursed dice. Normally plays the Thief, but is trying to hit on Tina by offering it to her. (Is easily irked by too much “roll” playing)

Carl
The rules lawyer. He plays the Wizard. (Can be easily lured into rules arguments)

Pete
The “roll” player – just wants to kill stuff and take all its shit. He plays the Fighter (Gets bored quickly with too much “role” playing)

Object
Impress Tina more than the other players, so she lets you take her home in your mom’s car.

STATS
Likability (how likeable you are to Tina)
Dings (You take dings when your players get one over on you)
Cheats (3 before your players get wise and demand you roll in the open)
Score (Score)

Likability - Dings = Total
Player with highest Total at the end of the night wins…

Sounds like one king-sized badass enterprise if you ask me! Only problem is that Swift wants to write more of a story than a game, but since that isn't really all that important...

SLARP: Simulated Live Action Role Playing

In a world beset by boredom and lack of parental involvement...

One boy...

Has the power...

TO KICK ASS!!

You may be an interesting, successful person in real life (yuck) but with the revolutionary technology of Simulated Live Action Role Playing, you too can be an awkward, pock-marked teenage weirdo - from the comfort of your own home! Step into the world of SLARP, and embark on an epic journey around the neighborhood, pretending to pretend to fight vicious monsters! Envision yourself envisioning yourself collecting powerful treasure!

SLARP offers unprecedented character customization options - choose from over 10,456 unique spells and abilities belonging to 19 distinct character classes, such as:

The Generic Nerd, who pretend to be a wizard so he doesn't have to get out of his snuggy!

The mighty Older Brother, who never really makes clear what he's pretending to be because he's just going to play for five minutes before his friend gets here with beer!

The devious Douche Bag, who pretends to be a bard so he can carry around his guitar and talk about how cool he is, even though he doesn't know any chords!

And the morally ambiguous Little Girl from Next Door, whom no one wants hanging around but whose parents will pitch a bitch if you tell her to get lost, and who pretends to be a princess even though everyone tries to tell her that's not a class!

Nice  ^_^

Don't forget the Angsty Non-Sparkle Vampire Goth - who remains completely invisible to the world just by folding his arms in front of him! (and thank god he does - because he'd be uncontrollably compelled to suck your blood sack completely dry if you ever saw him and realized his dark secret!)

What? Gay? No! ...He just has a thing for sucking blood sacks dry. Why would you think he was gay?

1. Fun, but random as a donkey trying to reproduce with a piglet.

2. Interesting AND fun, but I'll have to remove banana peels.

3. Do you think I'm an idiot?

4. You've been reading "Love SICK" lately, haven't you?  -.-

5. I would, but I'm a guy.  Guy = Knows only Gucci.

6. I would do, but I forgot who was...nevermind.  I don't wanna know.

Berkazerka: Fits perfectly.

Swiftstryker: Regarding 3, what do you mean? Regarding 4, I don't really see the resemblance. Regarding 5, just make up some brands and throw in a couple of famous untalented people's names. EDIT: Also regarding 3, this is what you wrote on your profile: That "idiot" of this site.

Someone needs to write Loon's number 4 story idea NOW. In fact someone over at Infinite Story once had a story idea called "Tales of a Baby Smuggler", (Wasn't me, I swear!) but it never got off the ground. Maybe someone could incorporate that idea into the story as well.

I vote you write it 

I would, but I tend to avoid using other people's ideas even if they are being freely given out and do sound like something that I wouldn't mind writing.

I might write something twisted after Eternal is finished though.

In fact I'm just going to make another thread with some story ideas of mine that I don't know if I'll ever get around to so if anyone else wants to use them, go right ahead.

I avoid rating any of your twisted stories since I'm unable to understand all their dark humor. 

I don't get it either, I think it's just darkness for the sake of being dark. Like Family Guy making fun of a black, gay, disabled, homeless, ginger, overweight, mentally retarded, abused child with glasses who's dying of a terminal illness. It's not funny because it's funny, it's funny because it's... not? I dunno 

Endmaster, how about adding #4 to LOVESICK (only the rectal evisceration part)?  I did think that story needed some expanding on violence...

LoveSICK was never intended to be very long. Part of it actually consists of two even shorter stories I once wrote (About five pages a piece) both of which ended with the death of the protagonist. Of course I altered some of the original material and made up the remaining stuff on the fly.

While rectal destruction is always a source of bloody amusement, one of the original stories did have the protagonist shove a scalpel up some patient's urethra. Not sure why I didn't include that scene somewhere in the revised story though. Obviously an oversight on my part.

I second, third and forth that.

How about you make a mustache game? If you made one in which the mustache beats up a mallet carrying penguin I would break out in glorious joy.

Ha! It would be filled with a thousand horrifying death links where one wrong move and the mustache gets it! You'd be lucky to come out of it with Briar's Hiltler 'stache LOL!

So PLLLRRRrrrBBBB!

Ha, I thouught you would need to have a poem contest and worry about an assassin. The penguin would be the first foe to fall. Though that hitler stache could be a neutral/bad ending.

someone needs to make something like this.

Anywhere the Wind Blows

Randy wasn’t just an ordinary a plastic shopping bag blowing in the breeze. No, Randy was Bag Man! A crime fighting super hero!

Bathed in a radioactive meth-lab gone wrong, Randy gained sentience and the ability to float along on the air currents like a bird! (If by bird you mean a plastic shopping bag blowing in the breeze).

Help Randy Choose His Adventure!

Will he slap in the face of the bad guys to mildly disrupt their evil crime sprees? Will he skitter across the ground to the delight of playful alley cats everywhere? Will he get trapped in the sordid world of tree-life – where once caught, there is no escape for the branch-addicted shopping bag?

Or will Randy succumb to the dark side and be left holding the money?

You decide!

Or will he make it big in Hollywood as the star of American Beauty, where a creepy stoner kid watches him flutter about in awe while cheesy piano music plays in the background? 

Or will  'You Are The Wind Beneath My Wings' play dramatically in the background while he soars away into the clouds, like some kid's party balloon after mom gets tired of telling him to tie the string around his wrist, but he keeps whining that he can hold it all by himself ?