An Escape from Ruin

I enjoyed this story, I think a good effort was done in making a rather emotional piece, but I couldn't help but feel that the end came rather abruptly.

This doesn't mean that the writing was bad, but this story was honestly very short. Also, nothing was explained as to why the city is suddenly collapsing, and by the dialogue, that happening didn't seem to be a single occurrence either.

I would like to acknowledge that this was a interesting premise, but it doesn't feel like a full story when all is said and done. A backstory as to what, where, and why these things were happening would've done a great service in fleshing out the narrative.

There's potential in this story. I liked the writing and the tense atmosphere, but there just isn't much here. The biggest issue that seems to plague this story is it's lack of explanation to the reader.

It is rather hard to get connected to something that you know little about, at least for me at times. And I knew so little about the situation and characters. Even a little exposition is good when you want the reader to feel certain emotions while experiencing the story.

So in the end, this wasn't a storygame that I disliked, but it wasn't one that I found to be wholly enjoyable.

This is a very short story and is ultimately very boring because of it. It could have paid off with a longer story, explaining some of the weird things some of the stories end with. It was very short and ultimately, I found it a waste of my time. It had a lot of potential, but it was not used, leaving the story lacking.

Good:
1. Originality
2. Nonlinearity
Bad:
1. No explanation for setting or backstory
2. Random deaths/endings- it's not a Difficulty storygame, where the reader has to think or read carefully for clues, but rather just random results
Ugly:
1. The Description hints at character and emotional development, but there's none of that in the story
2. Unclear what character motivation or reasoning for actions are- some character behavior is unrealistics, and setting really isn't clarified to be fantasy

I was really good. I had to think about planning an emergency escape.

It was fun

It started well, wanting me to read more, but after the first few pages each page was very short. It’s as if you tried to make a long, exciting story but didn’t have the time to finish it properly. Some of the pages are one line long.

I’ve given you a 3/8 and I don’t know why I’m writing this because you’ve been inactive since 2012.

The first page was really interesting with a nice emotional dilemma. But then it just sort of fizzled out. The pages got shorter and shorter and there was no real sense of character. This could be really impactful if it was fleshed out a bit more and we got to see the character's emotional connections to those in the town.

The core dillemna of whether to focus on saving self, spending your last moments with those you love, or helping others is really good. It's just not enough is done with that.

pretty short needs some work but besides that its good

Good game, I likes the feel, I could picture the whole scene in head, good work

It was too short