Drive Fast!

That was a very short story that really could be a lot more. I did like the pictures that were included, that was kind of nice to spruce up the story. However, what was the story, really? It seems you were driving away from a big guy…but that was really the whole story. It would be nice to develop just a little more what’s going on. Many readers really like to see a motivation for what is happening in the story. To add that, for every action that’s happening, you can attempt to answer the question, “Why.” For example, “Why is that guy after me?” Heck, it wasn’t even much of a start to say that I’m going to a secret location to meet a special friend. What location? I mean, I hope I know. What friend? Does he have a name? You don’t want to throw a whole page of exposition in there, but a few addition bits of information would really make this a nicer story.

I did appreciate the different choices and different options. It is always nice to see a story where choice and options actually affect the story. I noticed a number of different endings, and they weren’t all just a quick dead-end, so that was really quite nice. Thank you for sharing the story with the site.

See, while the writing wasn't bad, it had this "feel" of an advertisement. While I realize that is crazy (why would automobile companies place adds on our site?), the game had that kind of feel. We were supposed to be excited when we heard the car names, and the "1000 horespower" lines, but that is what an ad is supposed to do. A story game shouldn't be emitting the sense that the game is a simple ad.

Anyways, while the writing was decent, I didn't really understand the flow of the story, since it was detailing something I had no interest in. If I was a fan of cars, it may of interested me, but I didn't understand a good amount of the car terms. 4/8

Pretty good, could have proofread it better but still pretty fun

I am a former street racer and thus I know a thing or two about driving. While this storygame didn't have much of a plot, the driving mechanics and choices were quite enjoyable.

The first choice gives you this option:

"Do a 360 slide and go back the way you just came."

You mean... like a 180?

It was actually pretty good. Very short, yes, and it seemed slightly linear, but other than that, it was OK.

The thing is, I had no interest in it. There was no grudge that I, the reader, had against anyone, there were no personalities, and I didn't really have a reason to keep the 'protagonist' alive.

And how did I owe him money, exactly? If I won a race, the money's mine, I owe him nothing, he owes me nothing.

It was also ad-like. How much do you like cars, exactly? And there was no thought, no emotion, and the friend was there within a second. I take back what I said, this was not OK.

The choices are fairly random, since we don't really know enough about the situation to figure out which would be the best choice. Also, for displaying so many facts about cars and racing, one would think that you'd know that doing a 360-degree slide would not send you back the way you came. That would require a 180-degree slide...a 360 is a full circle, facing the way you were already going.

Doesn't seem to be much point to this story...no characterization, no real motive, and sudden non-endings. I don't think racing stories translate well to CYOA.

On the plus side, your grammar wasn't horrible, and story construction was good. Maybe you could rework the idea with a chart that explains the moves you'll offer, a map of the area, and possibly even a point system that deducts speed, gas, tire integrity, etc. based on the moves you make. You could even develop a characters sheet with stats like "Reaction", "Cool-Headedness", "Aggression", etc. Cars could have stats as well. It'd be a lot of work, but it would actually give people a reason to make specific choices in how they drove.

Well, not bad, I guess, but I wish there was more to the story.

This game is great one of my favourite but I have a question is the guy in the Rx-7 Dominic toreto from fast and the furious because he has a Rx-7

Fun.