Fencing Simulater

The game makes it seem that you loose no matter what because even if you make it to the end you throw up, pass out, or black out which leads to the game over, so after hearing our comments you should probably make it longer, more, details, and more choices. :) Hope it helped.

You easily defeat a few opponents then get disqualified by either losing consciousness or vomiting? I suggest you flesh out the main character and add MUCH more detail.

Horrible! There is nothing good to say about this story. And don't you DARE say you put effort into this. There are people on this site who ACTUALLY put effort into their work, people who spend several months or even years on a story!

There's no plot, no description (which a simulator needs to be even remotely interesting) and too linear. There's one option that advances the story, while the other kills you.

It's a 1/8 from me. Try again sometime with more time, thought, and effort.

Well honestly, more detail is all i can say. Really MORE DETAIL. Try to have ways for you to lose and not just win evrytime you try to attack. But yeah it was very bad.

I am sorry to say, but this game was just absurd. I expect better from a person on this writing site to at least put some effort in to writing a story. This was put together as if you do not really want to make this game, almost as if someone is making you. you want to show off your scripting skills, which I would point out are not that good anyway. And some advice, if you are going to put on your intro "Don't hate." expect that you will get more hate. I personally don't care if this is your first story game, When you decide to make a storygame, you should do it with the will of actually wanting to create it instead of making something fast. A storygame is a large commitment and so when I see people like you just making this as a quick way to get points, it just sickens me; Now hold on, you could argue that I have never created a storygame and I have no experience, but I spent at least too months slowly building a concept for an upcoming game which I will post, so yes, I do have the right to say this. Well thanks for reading this, you could probably just have Tl. Dr this comment but I hope it helps you to learn some of the expectations that people have when it comes to newbies writing storygames.

Very bad for a first game. If you have nothing to write, then don't write at all.

It is boring, short, and a couple waste of time that could honestly be spent better by watching paint dry.

Even if you wanted to go with a very light story with a focus more on the "combat" of it, you should provide adequate descriptions beyond you are facing your opponent or they tried to attack you. Did they try to stab you in the throat? Is the opponent standing in any off balanced or balanced stance? You give no information to make someone able to make choices with the knowledge the character would have. The choice of blocking your chest or just seems like it is a choice between blocking your chest or possibly parrying the sword farther away. You didn't give enough of a intro to your reader either.

The whole story revolved around dodging or hitting...and only one was correct. The story was linear and wasn't much of a "game", the end despite having 3 choices, all ended the same way. This was a very creative idea and a fair start for your first storygame.

I prefer reading WC storygames rather than this.

I've had more fun feeding my kittens than playing this game.
Also, it's spelt "Simulator"