Mother's Day Mania

Okay, the cons definitely outweigh the pros here.

The first thing i'd like to say, is that the branching is clearly not professional. About seventy-five percent of the time, there would be multiple "choices," but if you choose any of them that isn't the right one, the narrator just gives you a single sentence of reasoning telling you why that's not an option. That is not a choice, and that's not how you write a CYOA.

I liked the plot, but it wasn't executed well. The writing was dreadfully linear and confusing, not the mention the many grammatical and spelling errors.

You need to develop your characters more, because while you obviously made an attempt to develop some character traits, I still don't know enough about them, and they feel bland. There's nothing special about these characters.

It felt like it dragged on for no reason, but that might just be because you didn't put End Game links at each ending. Please put more than one End Game link, because it's annoying to have to play multiple times just so you can end the game, because the author decided to make all the other endings loop you back to the beginning.

I'll say 1/8, this needs a lot more effort put in.

This was quite interesting, and it became even more so towards the end. I enjoyed the Mother's Day theme, but then it became about adventuring and modern day pirates? It was quite a sudden change of events, but it wasn't terrible.

There was some linearity in the beginning of the game, as far as the choices went and such. This game was still quite fun to kill time with in all honestly, I only wished it was more about making the wife happy :p

Not that pirates aren't cool. Anyway, I enjoyed this game regardless of my minor issues with the plot :)

This was an unusual little story but it's nice to see a themed one :) I'm not certain a married couple would celebrate Mother's Day if they didn't have any children and I'm a bit mystified where the pirates came from but I'll let these things slide as you put time and effort into the story and obviously had fun writing it, I'm sure it'd make a good little Mother's Day present of your own :D

One thing I would point out is that you gave the illusion of choices while really it was a case of finding the right choice or going back or even of going all the way back to the beginning. It's ok to write a broadly linear story (my Magellan stories all have one successful ending for example) but I'd recommend branching out more to give the reader different paths, you did that a fair bit at the beginning but less so towards the end which suggests you wrote this all in one sitting and got more tired the more you wrote. It's perfectly ok to have a rest and come back to your story later so the quality remains consistent throughout!

But anyway this story was a nice idea, a fun way to spend 10 minutes reading it and you put a reasonable amount of effort in so good work :)

There are many, many reasons I don't like this story. 1) You don't really have choices, when you pick one the author doesn't like you have to pick a different one or start back at the beginning. Therefore you shouldn't be asking which one. 2) You don't give the woman a great mother's day, and wasn't that the point? 3) There was a lot of random stuff. 5) They don't even have kids, so she's not a mother.

It should have been titled how the husband avoids spending the day with his wife on mother's day. But I suppose that would be too long a title. It just really sucked and I am really disappointed. As a mother and having multiple not so great mother's days, was hoping to read something that was the opposite and just be able to imagine what a good mother's day would look like. Thanks for making a imaginary mother's day just as disappointing a real one.

I just came in here to say that I laughed so hard that my wife told me I smell like a goat, and that she insists more than anything on getting free food from a random stranger that bumps into you.

One path. Okay I guess.

Ehh, only one choice available, which made it less fun. Plus, the treasure part was surprising and not related to the topic and title.

It was... interesting, not bad, but this story was about mother's day, and it started out fine, but... pirates? WTF? This story turned from sweet to an obvious and lame adventure, sorry, but if this stayed with the whole mother's day theme, i'd give you a 3/8, but with the whole adventure that completely leases your wife behind and forgotten so you can fight pirates and look for treasure, sorry.
1/8

This was a cute little game, although a little hard to get to the end. With enough tries, I got the gold and made it home. I liked it, but it could use some actual end game links after you failed. It was a little confusing. and how did the Pirates get there?

Slightly more fun than homework, but I got to study for STAAR!

~AYT