That One Dream Again

Wow, what a wild ride! That was quite an interesting story. I followed a few different paths, and I was surprised again and again by the directions in which this story took me. I liked how even the "cop-out" options I was provided with resulted in compelling endings.

As someone who places a lot of importance on dreams and often struggles to remember them myself, I sympathize with the protagonist's problem at the beginning. It's certainly a novel concept for a story, and it immediately gripped my attention.

I love this story's atmosphere! I really felt immersed reading it. Appropriately enough for a story about dreams, it felt like a dream. It's hard to describe why the writing is so effective, but it is. Maybe it's the interesting details, maybe it's the genuinely mystical setting, but it all comes together pretty well. Some folks may not like the meandering plot, but it only made me enjoy it more. It's certainly a one-of-a-kind experience.

In the beginning of the game, it was interesting and the writing was decent. It seemed as you were engrossed in the beginning, but in the end as Mizal had said, "it was a mess." I completely agree with his/her statement. It seemed like you had given up, and that you just wanted to get rid of this project.

I didn't that many grammatical mistakes, so you're fine. I wish that you had written more as it was somewhat short. Also, you should have developed the plot more, added more details, and yeah.

This game didn't really have me interested that much as it was somewhat boring, so try to write a good hook. This wasn't really hilarious, so work on that aspect, and yeah.

Otherwise, I liked this book and it was pretty good in general compared to others. For your future story-game, just work on the things I said above and you should be good. Also, try to stick to just ONE idea next time.

3/8.

I was wondering why this one was getting so little attention, and now that I've read it I can see the issue; it's hard to know what to say about this.

It started off as a strong effort by a new author and by the end it was just a mess. Leo, I'm disappointed. Seems like there were two separate ideas here, but you couldn't come up with a way to combine them so midway through you just dropped one completely and jumped into the other. And then you got bored with that too.

With a more deliberate approach to working out a coherent plot (and an end to the random author POV asides to the player, please...) I'm sure you have a lot of potential and I hope to eventually see more from you. You've got 'throw a bunch of random shit into a bowl' down, next time take it a couple steps further and blend it all together and bake a cake. Or maybe I'm just hungry.

There weren't many mistakes, and I thought that it was short, but apparently I need to play through it more times to get a longer story.

Interesting, if short.

Having read some of the other reviews, I decided I needed to play through this one a few times before I rated it. The first time I thought it had potential, but was too short. Then I played again and made some other choices, and suddenly it was a whole different game! I just had to pay more, and there's so many possibilities! Sometimes it's just about dreaming. Sometimes you start exploring alternate dimensions. You might secretly be a spy. You might marry the man or woman (or chicken person) of your dreams. It's crazy and fun and absolutely worth playing over and over again!

How did I lock myself out of my home without my keys? You would need the keys to lock the door.

wow..... its very original

Not the longest, not the shortest. I don't think it is long enough to be rated at a seven for length. There weren't too many grammar and spelling mistakes that I remember.

This was a pretty interesting story and I hope you keep writing. Although if you want to get a good feel for story lengths read some of the top rated stories.