The Finisher

Player Rating4.14/8

"Too few ratings to be ranked"
based on 70 ratings since 09/13/2014
played 350 times (finished 64)

Story Difficulty2/8

"walk in the park"

Play Length4/8

"A well spent lunch break"

Maturity Level5/8

"aren't you a little too old to be trick or treating"
Some material may be inappropriate for persons under age 13. If this were a movie, it would probably be PG-13.

Fight for your life in this thrilling tale of a man struggling to fight the Darkness!!

There are Two Major Endings

Hero's End and Fool's End.


Player Comments

A great story! It was full of detail. It had near perfect grammar and spelling, and I really liked your way of execution and writing style.

For me, this could have been feature-worthy if you had lengthened it, and branched off more paths. This was great but could have been greater with more effort.
-- Penworth on 6/18/2015 12:36:17 PM
I kinda liked it. Though the story itself is kinda cliche, it is well-written. You give a decent amount of descriptions, which makes the story definitely more engrossing.

You have also given the reader a fair amount of choices to make, most of which lead to different endings. I find it a shame, however, that most story-lines end after a choice or two. <SPOILER> For example, when I choose to go to the ravine, I get two pages without choice and then I die. I would much rather have seen some more expansion of these storylines. <END OF SPOILER>

Furthermore, like I said before, the story itself is kinda overrepresented in stories, movies, etc. A hero has to defeat a horrible evil and has the possibility of rescuing a love interest along the way. I'm not saying that this is necessarily a bad thing, but it becomes kinda predictable how the story will progress.

I have given your story a 4/8, mostly because your story is well-written, but is kinda short and feels underdeveloped in some parts.

Good luck writing!
-- Romulus on 9/13/2014 6:42:12 AM
I'll admit, I was sceptical of how good this would be at first, however it actually wasn't half bad. Your descriptive writing was pretty good and your perspective whilst writing stayed the same. From what I could tell, the characters were fairly fledged out, though we certainly didn't see enough of a game to really learn who each character is. The only thing that I'd criticize is the story length and sometimes randomness of the choices (although, this Darien might be a more trusting fellow than me, in which case ignore that). All in all, it wasn't so bad. Nice little short story.
-- Delta44 on 9/12/2014 6:52:54 PM
I need more
-- Jakethebro on 2/14/2018 4:13:21 PM
There are Two Major Endings
Hero's End and Fool's End.
You gaze hard at the ground, counting drops of rain as they make ripples in the puddles.

"He didn't make it. There were too many of those things... he died trying to give me an escape..."

You see the despair in her eyes as she begins to walk towards you.

"Hey, it's alright" you begin to say as she approaches.

She walks right past you, tears running down her face, and down to the valley you just left. Just like that, she was gone forever.
Liar's End"

Well I thought there were only 2 ends, so apparently, it is a lie.
-- TestingJest on 12/7/2017 3:19:46 AM
Nice story got heros ending.
-- CeruleanFlare on 1/3/2017 2:07:15 PM
I think your story has lots of potential but I have three big things for you to consider as you make revisions: 1. I'm not getting much of a picture because your description of setting, characters, ect is very sparse. 2. Sometimes I'm confused as to what's going on because from the beginning of the story you jump right into a plot and go. This is a gaming strategy that can be used well if you add things like memories and flashbacks of the past that help the reader understand what happened in the past that caused you to be where you are now. 3. I went from killing a girl who'd been poisoned/gone crazy to taking an arrow out of my side and returning home in hopes that the village is now safe. Did I just miss like the entire battle part of the game or what?!? Probably a fluke with your links that'd be easy to fix so from the point I was at the reader can go into the battle with the creature. Just one more thing- RATING THIS GAME. I know that everyone has a different opinion about how to rate storygames but I might bump up the maturity rating to a 6/8 for language. If you don't want to do this, please please PLEASE do what I've seen other storygame authors do and write a DISCLAIMER on the first page of the game explaining that there is a lot of language in your game. Common courtesy that I would've liked to be notified of before starting your game.
Like I said a whole bunch of potential but lack of detail, clarity, and excessive language all caused me not to appreciate your storygame as much as I'd be able to if the changes above were made. Thanks
-- AandEcoproductions on 12/28/2015 5:30:13 PM
Wow... It's almost like Eternal for people with poor attention spans!
-- ISentinelPenguinI on 12/17/2014 8:56:49 AM
It's okay. Like I said on Epoch Coda the story is okay, but the length is slightly shorter on this story and the maturity level should be higher.
so 4/8.
-- Tequila on 11/12/2014 1:14:54 PM
It is a good concept for a game but the writing could be better
-- chasmee on 9/14/2014 2:17:45 PM
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