The Master Crook

Please complete the story by at least taking out the "This is a new page" text. Unpublished.

It was...uh...not offensively terrible. I think that you should at least go back and delete every 'this is a new page' statement. The 'what will you do' links bothered me at first, but then I sort of...kind of...understood what you were doing with that?

Anyway, definitely needs more effort to be a worthwhile storygame.

When I first looked at this, I thought it said, "The Master Cook" I also read the description as, "Get ready to shoot some crops!"

The above comment is as helpful as your story is good. The last page still had its default text, "This is a new page." More options, longer pages, more endings, and more effort will greatly improve your next attempt.

Frankly, i think that the rating description for 2/8 is more insulting than the rating description for 1/8. That is the only reason I gave you a 2/8.
(jks, i so gave you 1/8, but seriously, it was good... for you to poop on)

My game sucks ik

Boring...oh well. Not bad for first attempt

This was terrible, with almost no choices. If you are going to make a game like that, at least say that there won't be much choices. The 'What will you do's were irritating. Don't ask me what I will do if you are only going to give me one choice.

This was terrible, with almost no choices. If you are going to make a game like that, at least say that there won't be much choices. The 'What will you do's were irritating. Don't ask me what I will do if you are only going to give me one choice.

"This is a new page."
unless you're making some meta-storygame about making a storygame, this phrase should not appear in your storygame.
Also, if there's going to be no text on the next page, why bother sending us to a new one? Combine the two into one page

Minimal effort, broken pages, and the dreaded "What will you do?"

So take this down, remove those "what will you do"s, and put more effort into it.