Tick Tock Goes the Clock

To begin, you kinda stole your plot from Doctor Who. Hell, you even reference the correct episode in the storygame as well.

And, what a coincidence that you happened to (SPOILER ALERT START) shoot an automaton, and then the very same one came back and killed you (SPOILER ALERT END) Not very imaginative.

I think you may have some skill in writing, but you must refine it first, and a good way to do that is to not steal plots from other franchises. Do something ORIGINAL. It can be hard, but I'd much prefer to see an underdeveloped original story, than a rewrite of another pre-existing story (*cough* Warrior Cats *cough* *cough*).

3/8. Hopefully, you take this as constructive criticism (I'm hard on people, I know), because you have potential. But this doesn't cut it.

There are a lot of problems, firstly, the amount of times you said tick-toc was just annoying. secondly it's so short its over in an instant and there is no way in heck you are getting me to read until I get all of the endings. This story has potential, but until you fix all of the bugs, It's crap. One example of a bug would be that there are a few spelling errors, and the "paragraphs" are not formatted correctly. And after all that it's good, For you to poop on. and rub that tick toc toilet paper through your ass.

This is just lazy writing. Someone watched a doctor who episode, flushed the script down the toilet, pulled its tattered remnants out of a sewer and slapped it together into a story on the site.

Also, I’ve never watched a doctor who episode so I had no idea what was going on due to the utter lack of explanation. There is no branching or imagination you just die in jail which the author never explains how you got there.

If you’re going to write a fan fiction, do it while not relying on people to know what you are talking about and without directly referring to the source material. My brain hurts from reading this so I’m just leaving it at that.

I like the whole, constant, "Tick tock, tick tock" thing. It created an eerie atmosphere. Unfortunately the atmosphere was ruined by all the Doctor Who references.

I am thinking about using an infinity gauntlet.

Really cool game

Creepy...

Very one directional, most choices simply led back to the same choice. Many grammatical errors, and a largely unoriginal plot.

Not really a story game. Seems more like a demo and the author is just practising.

You really need to proof read your work. I think you have some writing talent, however you need to think of an original plot flesh it out more

TOO MUCH DOCTER WHO