Player Comments on A Jornada...

I can't say anything about the grammar but what I can say is that I didn't feel anything for the main character. His family died, I don't feel sad for him, I don't feel anything for him. Maybe if in his dreams he was thinking about his regular life and how much he loved it or something, and then he wakes up to find it all gone, then maybe that would make me a little sad. There also weren't many details, and the story felt rushed, one thing happened, than the next thing happened, but there wasn't any space in between it was just, He finds his family dead. He is devastated. He walks outside. But the branching was good, unlike some other stories that I have read on this site.

I can't really comment on the grammar because I don't speak Portuguese (all I could recognise is corre and that's because it's the same as Spanish) and the translation I used probably caused a lot of grammatical errors, but based on where you put capital letters and accents it looks like you put at least some effort into spelling and grammar.

I really enjoyed the multitude of endings! Some authors focus so much on the storyline they want you to see that they don't bother writing any others, resulting in a linear storygame. You didn't do this. Well done.

With that said, I didn't really connect to the main character at all or feel involved in the story. This may have been because the storygame was so short, and each page covered so much action. At one point, you shortened what should have been the climax of the storygame (the protagonist fighting the werewolves) into a three line paragraph on the ending page. As the reader I felt like my choices weren't really influencing much because of this.

Nonetheless, I love that we're getting foreign language storygames on CYS now! Can't wait to read this with a better understanding of Portuguese in the future.

ou galego, não português, por isso espero lembrar o quão pouco sei português.

Seu protagonista não tem emoções, não tem personalidade, e você conta os fatos que não mostra ao vivo o que está acontecendo. O jogo também é muito linear.

I wish I could read this

It was an okay idea I guess. Not really impressive, I had to use google translate to understand so I can't comment on grammar, but this isn't very good. A solid 2 from me

People are ravenous for points, so they are rating this even if they have no idea what's going on. I'm sorry about that. People requesting that the author translate the story into English are being unreasonable. People who speak and read other languages should get to have CYS stories too, and English speakers shouldn't be dunking on them.

I speak some Spanish, and I think I was able to decipher some of this despite not speaking Portuguese (based on the ending I got, it seems kind of like a hippy story; save mother nature and all that. I was nominated by a goddess of somesort as what amounts to a woods sprite to forever protect the forest or whatever). Also I was surprised that laughter was hahaha and not jajaja. From what I understood, it seems kind of like you're dealing with fawn or fairy like spirits of some sort, so the mythology (from what best I could understand) was somewhat interesting.

Why you no English?
2/8

Umm... Google Translate was awesome but not you. Use English.

I got my tablet to translate it into English.

English please!

Woah, Spanish...

Bom, um ou outro erro gramatical e bem curto, mas gostei bastante da maneira como é escrito. Tente criar histórias maiores e mais profundas.

not the worst but too not the best

I wish this was translated into english, I had to look every page up on google translate.

A história é ótima, mas eu achei que faltam mais detalhes e mistério para criar uma atmosfera melhor. Ficou parecendo que tudo passou muito rápido e a história não nos deixa tão intrigados em saber o porque de alguma coisa. Além disso, nós não conhecemos o personagem mais a fundo, e isso deixa uma grande lacuna entre o enredo e o leitor, e havia um numero significativo de erros de português, mas no resto, perfeito!!! 4/5

In my Old Man age, I've had time to learn a lot of languages. I thought the story was very enjoyable, and a nice change from the norm to read. :D

I assume this was good... I only understood a few words.

it would be nice if someone who is fluent in portuguese translates this for us

i couldn't read it

well, i don't speak protugueese

De fato poderia ser melhor trabalhada

Se o sol nasceu e os inimigos em questão eram lobos, levando em conta que lobos são animais noturnos... Fora que, se forem de fato lobisomens, eles retomam sua forma humanóide ao nascer do sol.

Eu realmente gostei dessa história! Eu não falava uma palavra de Português, então eu tive que traduzir isso e eu achei que foi ótimo. Estou extremamente irritado que tantas pessoas estavam ofensiva para este jogo porque não era em Inglês. Pessoas de outros países têm tanto direito de desfrutar o site como qualquer outra pessoa. (I really liked this story! I do not speak a word of Portuguese, so I had to translate it and I thought it was great. I am extremely annoyed that so many people were offensive to this game because it was not in English. People from other countries have as much right to enjoy the site as anyone else.)

I felt seriously disconnected from the protagonist because I knew nothing about him. I needed more backstory and history to be able to appreciate the story, otherwise it's meaningless to me. I can't comment on the mechanics of the prose because I don't know if the errors were caused by Google Translate or your writing or both.

Woah. That qas good. I didn't even mind going back and fourth between this and google translate! Maybe you could ask someone to write it in english so those haters can see how good it is!

Poderia ser mais longo, ter mais historias. Tem alguns livros nesse estilo com historias muito envolventes. Não fez meu gosto.

Por favor, perdoe a minha Português de merda, como eu estou usando o Google Translate. De qualquer forma, a história foi bem, mas curto, eo final foi um pouco anti-climático. Eu teria preferido uma cena de luta mais detalhada no final.

Any who are bashing this because its in another language should be ashamed of themselves. The title is friggin' portuguese! So, you know, if you don't wanna read a story in portuguese, move along. That simple. Nobody forced you to read this. Grow up and stop acting like racist children.

Im not gonna rate it...

This story has done better than a SHITLOAD of you guys.
(obviously me too)

Nice story, and there are few grammatical mistakes. I enjoyed a meaningful story of a boy who tries to bring back his village. Traduzir esta usando o Google Translate
:D

ok

I think it was really good. I tried out all the gods and if it's so easy to use Google translation then how come your so lazy to do it? If you weren't so lazy you could have read a really good storygame.

To all of you imbeciles implying that they're breaking site rules by posting a story that's not in English; you're wrong. Go back to your caves. Written_Agreement, the fact that you don't even know which language this is written in (Portuguese, not Spanish) makes you look like the idiot. Alienalpha, your facts are wrong, your methods are ridiculous and you sound so elitist it's not even funny.

Is it not obvious this is an English speaking site? Take three seconds to look at a forum and see that NO ONE speaks Spanish on this site. Use some common sense.

"English is the language of peace, trade, and prosperity."
Read a history book and you will find several flaws here.

@thestory- Using Google-transation and my own favorite i was able to read the story. I thought it was a bit short but I was really intrested in the part where you can pray to the gods then choose which one you want to follow. We should have more storys like that(In english).

*sigh* it is an english site. Why do people insist on putting crap on sites that isnt in english? youtube, facebook, and many other sites are in english. English is the language of peace, trade, and prosperity. If you cant take 20 seconds to google translate than you deserve to get your account deleted and your stories erased.

Este é um site que se baseia totalmente em Inglês. Lamento se isso desagrada-lo, mas se você estiver escrevendo uma história aqui, então você precisa escrever em Inglês. No entanto, a história parece decente quando traduzidos.

Interessante, mas curto e mais linier (Interesting, but short and linier)

Chances are if you go to the forums and everybody's speaking English, and all of the instructions for making your story are in English, then you're audience is gonna be an English-speaking audience.

It's not in English so I have no idea what you are writing about. I'm not going to rate something I can't even understand.

English, please.