Player Comments on A Jung Hero's Adventure

This game, with all its clever themes and references, pulling from deeply complex concepts, does not quite achieve its aim. The game seems to rely on the reader already being at least passingly familiar with Jung. When a character is representing a psychological concept, it is stated as such in the game notes, with no explanation of the meaning or importance of those concepts.

If a reader is already highly familiar with said psychological concept, then he or she likely doesn't need to be told that that's what is being represented. However, someone who won't recognize it, needs more detail in order for the lesson to become substantial. This occurs frequently. So I ask, who is the intended audience for this story?

Instead of just being told what certain characters represent, it would be a masterstroke if through the course of narrative and well written dialogue readers were presented with opportunities to come to those understandings, or gain a feeling for what they might mean, by their own cognition. At that point the game notes could attach the designated name to the concept, and explain its significance.

In an effort to only outline Jung's concepts, the story and pacing are rushed and turns of narrative are abrupt. Most foreshadowing is either totally absent or entirely overt, character's were largely undeveloped, and editing was disastrous.

The atmosphere was really well done. The world's lore was clearly carefully thought out, and even skillfully fleshed out over the course of this storygame. That is the very reason why I wish so much that the writing of this story had been given more time. I want more time in the school. There was so much opportunity to look into how such interactions in that environment plays out, not just in the general broad brush, but concerning social interaction and for the individual.

More could have been done considering the implications of home life. More could have been explained as to how the Health Department works. We could have seen relatives and family friends. What do social gatherings look like?

I wish I had real consequential choices to make during the course of the story. This "entertainment" was fine...but I wanted a little more "suffering," you know?

A very intriguing method of exploring Jung's theories within the oddly appropriate trapings of a Bladerunner-esque dystopian future reality.

Admittedly, from a glancing perspective at least, it appears that this piece could have done with a tighter focus on the titular Jungian concepts, with much of the story seeming to veer off into purely sci-fi territory.

However, as one starts to realize that most of the characters are representative of one Jungian archetype or another, & that their actions in the story and our responses serve to illustrate in a practical fashion the inter-relation of archetypes and the means by which they can be understood & overcome, one begins to appreciate the level of comprehension the author possesses with regards to Jungian theory.

To the author: Have you considered working with an editor to iron out any grammatical oversights? A work of this calibre is certainly deserving of some straightforward proof-reading, & there's no sense in you getting bogged down in details when you have important lessons to impart : )

Probably my favorite story so far, definitely brings me enlightenment! I had a look at a bit more background on Jung's theories!

Loved the philosophical meanings behind your story too, reminds me definitely of "Animal Farm", and "A Handmaid's Tale" (Margaret Atwood). Yeah, it's quite horrible to see an intended Utopia such as this actually being a Dystopia. The labelling of the "Cretins" also reminds me of eugenics.

Just a few downsides: you could try to shorten or leave spaces between paragraphs, as it quickly becomes tiring to read.

Well fuckity fuck, you’re a founder and this story is old and everyone seems to love it so much. Ignore my insolence.

If I see one more option to restart with no end game link, I will cry, and you can turn me in as a Cretan.
Some of the links were in all lowercase and some weren’t, with no apparent rhyme or reason behind it. Also, the teacher didn’t sound professional or even older than a raging 11 year old on CoD. So.
The story doesn’t really expand no matter what you do, and as far as I can tell there’s only one actual “ending”, kinda making it impossible to “choose” your story. Either die or don’t, wow.
Your writing isn’t trash but it isn’t good. If your account isn’t deleted yet (I have no clue how old this story is, but I’m assuming that since it’s still up it must be relatively new), then you have some work to do. Congrats on getting a game out there, now work on making it a good one.

A relic of an older time with an interesting plot, but extremely linear with a frustrating lack of End Game links.

very good, i loved how it was an analogy the whhole way through without being very hard to understand and still telling an amazing story

This game is an incredible frustration for me. The plot and setting is fascinating but the writing itself is a complete mess, very rough and rushed. It's one of the older games on the site and I suppose standards about proofreading and such were different then. I don't think a story like this could ever be featured today. It really is a shame this is unlikely to ever be cleaned up.

I got the good ending! My skills are impeccable.

Grammatical error bits were easy to pass over, but it was told rather quickly on parts of the story.... maybe flesh out some of it so it doesn't feel as if it moves abruptly at points.

Enjoyable and intriguing and disturbing environment! Well done on imagination!

i would rather do these type of stories then actual homework

I liked the idea of this story, but I still feel as if it could still be fleshed out more instead of just killing you by making the wrong choice... if it could flesh out like Endmaster's stories (they branch out like a motherfucker), it would have received a better rating from me...

Unusual.

very interesting

I enjoyed it, especially the setting that you created, and the feeling of choice in the story. I genuinely felt like I was in the story!
However, a few spelling mistakes prevent it from being perfect, such as:

-On the "Let your brother go" page, the word "trader" in the sentence, "I will kill you, you trader" should be "TRAITOR".
-The first choice in "The madness must end" page should say "Send me IN with the virus", not "Send me I woth the virus"
-The first sentence in the "who am I speaking to??" page doesn't have a capital letter.

Other than these spelling errors, I really enjoyed it!

All these lovely archetypes!

A great story but please...please use spell check or something.

That was actually fun. I don't see too many games like this.

nice adventure :^)

A very good book and interesting in the utopia that has a horrible finding behind it.

I liked the concept and how you explained Jung's theories.

I enjoyed the game. Those spelling/grammar errors really need to be fixed though.

Nice

They made it impossible to end and leave comments until the end of the story
1/8

Very nice game. Not quite dystopia (it had a happy ending), but still fun and educational. I mean, it's nothing I didn't already know, but I still like what you did.

Very linear and there are many spelling mistakes. It took a long while to get to the leave comments thing, but I liked the story itself.

A very interesting and highly insightful game :) entertaining too ^^ -not the kind of entertainment the computers make ofcourse, but much better as it makes you think

I loved the content of the story for sure, but it SERIOUSLY needs a spelling and grammar check.

Very enjoyable, but lacking some complexity (good and evil are kind of obvious), and grammar and syntaxis was weird sometimes, but I liked the connection with Jung's theories and other dystopias!

Nice game.

Great game! I liked the story of how computers can be corrupt.

Okay I guess :)

Like the idea of a parable of Jung's archetypes. Also liked the idea of having different good endings (I did not get the best ending as I killed my brother.) Would love to see more notes in chapter's 2 and 3 and other storygames.

I love the ideas of Cretans and the impressive mashup of concepts from all these places...but there are so many grammar mistakes that I struggled to enjoy the story.

I like that you put it previous chapter notes. Also, I like the story. Just some spelling and punctuation errors.

Good story and good explanations. However the english needs polishing.

6/8

Amazing concept. From the first page I was easily sucked in, and hard-pressed with the decisions; fairly challenging, but the consequences made sense. The only issue I had was with the story's grammar because I found the suspense wasn't as intense because I had to go back and re-read some sentences in order to understand what was going on. And that's why I gave the lower rating. Regardless of that, amazing job. I really enjoyed this one!

I found the great ending!

Cool

Great writing, but could do with better grammar

I really liked the story itself, but it needs some grammar improvement :D

pretty good, but i little confusing

Paragraph changes, and please EXPLAIN THE FRIGGIN BACKGROUND STORY.

I really have an urge to say the following: I wish you could elaborate on the story, since I really had no idea what was Anima, or the dialogue. Got some potential, if any.

Nice. It was cool, except you had a couple of misspelled words.

nice...

Good.

Very Cool.

Probably the most spelling and grammatical errors I've seen on a story as of yet, the most annoying to me was your misuse of apostraphes. Still, the game is pretty good with an enjoyable storyline, Bo approves

Enjoyable

If there weren't so many distracting spelling and grammatical mistakes the whole thing would register a top rating.

not bad

that was confusing. but good job?

I loved the premise of this game. And I really liked how you gave the readers a list of definitions that you used throughout the game. I think you should go back and fix some of your grammar mistakes though because they are kind of bothersome. Once you fix them, this story will be really great.

Love the story, but it seems less detailed than it could be and the large number of spelling and grammatical errors do diminish it, unfortunately. Nevertheless, excellent sci fi story. I'd like to see a more extensive version of this. I can see where there's some educational factors in it, but mostly I view it as a good story using the archetypes, not a story specifically to explain those archetypes. Good work!

I've always loved this game. Anyone who has a hard time understanding psychology (like me) should play it at least once on the site... preferably more.

good game good game

That was a great game! Just what everyone else said fix up the spelling and grammer mistakes and it'll be great!

Great concept for a game exploring the possible dangers of artificial intelligence(computers) over the human race. Im giving this and 8 definetly, but its not like i find it totally perfect. The numerous speeling mistakes could be imrpove and some parts of the story could be explained in further detail, overall a marvellous game.

JHA flows very nicely and is an entertaining read as well. Numerous spelling and grammar errors did distract from the fun a bit, but that should be an easy fix for the author. Thumbs up!

Needs much spelling and grammar checking -- I found this to detract from the story at times. The story is well conceived though -- thumbs up!

I haven't rated many games yet, but I do feel that this one was outstanding. It was extremely interesting and even suspenseful too. I really identified with the character and some of the moral decisions were challenging ones which carried logical (if sometimes unexpected) consequences. At the end I was given the message "for an even better ending do [such and such--I can't give it away!]" and I definitely *will* play this one again and explore the alternative story line.

I will give this game a perfect rating if/when the author goes back and runs the text of each page through MS Word or some other spelling and grammar checker. Right now there are hundreds of spelling and grammar errors--I'm talking approximately one error for every one or two sentences. I found the story itself so well done that I could get past this problem without undue frustration or distraction. Still, imagin

That was pretty neat.

Contains many mechanical errors, but was very, VERY enjoyable. I concur with the pucky18 person who left the last comment that this is better than many published novels, much better. However, it may need a little more work...

It contains may mechanical errors, but was very enjoyable anyway. About Jung, though: wouldn't becoming one with your anima bring (ultimately) misery? 8/8

awesome story. better than many published novels.

Excellent Game! Haha enjoyment

That was a terrific game. It was such an awesome story. Seriously,I'm not trying to demote the site or anything but forget the site, just drag the story on a bit longer and make a novel out of it. I'd buy it. It's a good storyline. Well done. 8/8.

The poor grammar and syntax are easily overshadowed by the knowledge imparted and evident creative spark. Enthralling and disturbing. Very Orwellian as you mentioned. Jung is an interesting creature, ever looked at Beck? Great job chocobot.

it definately brought me enlightenment. great game. though there was a dead link and i didnt like having to go back so much.

a very great and individual game

Great game Choco. I got a Great Ending and a Great Middle and a Great Beggining. Altogether it's great great great.

An amazing game! It's so neat that you managed to mix Jungian psycology with science fiction!

Excellent and nicely done!

Great Gane!!!!

Started off great, ended greated.
Best Scifi game on the site.
My new favorite MAG game.

A bit of a bore to read, but I liked the story. It could have a bit more interaction, and less writing (I am here to play, not read) but it was good.

BEST SF game on the site! make a sequel! pleeaase?

Great Liturature, very, very good.

I won with the good ending. Now for talk about the game. I don't play favorites but yours is AWESOME! I've finally played all of your games and boy, is this a grand finaly! I loved IT!

Oh... my... God! I have seen so many other wonderful, brilliant games on this website: Holloween, Holloween II, Jurrasic Fairview Park, September the 14th, the Wal-Mart Game, fine gems of creativity, every one! But this... THIS... this is electric gold in digital form! This is the most transcendent of all adventure games! You can't even call yourself a choose-your-own-adventure game player until you've played this!

That was a great story,overall. Highly imaginative and creative use facts. Can't wait to see the full edited version.

Nice game. Very symbolic. On the first chapter I thought this game is insane and how is it related to Jung. But soon I understand what was going on.

pretty damn good....although I killed the brother

Cool game

I have played three of these stupid games in my boredom and have to say that this game is actually pretty good. All these games however need more options. The game is really not that much about Jungian psychology; it seems to get away from it rather succesfully....

Reminds me of those futuristic movies about censorship and totalitarianism. Good work!

hey great game george! I especially liked the pages that went from when those guys with the scarabs entered till pretty much the end! it kept me enthralled, but did i have to really lose my hand?? gross..