Player Comments on Alpha, Search For The Sword Master

JekDekan's tale of a king on a heroic quest to defend his small kingdom from a mythical dragon has the start of a fantastic CYS. Just look at that premise, it screams to be read. However, Alpha is an unpolished and unfinished CYS. I look forward to any updates and will amend my comment as the JekDekan updates the story.

At the start of the story it's normal to be confused simply by the descriptive tags. RPG? Humor? Puzzle? Unfortunately this confusion spreads to the first few pages.

At the start we have the promise of an engaging and thrilling adventure, but several grammatical errors and overbearing text modifiers poorly affect the story's chances at immersion.

The halting pace of the writing also stops both the author and the readers from fully enjoying what's left, and a few plot-related headscratchers nearly kill off any enjoyment before the end of the first page. It's unfortunate that the extreme shortness of the story finishes it off.

However, many of these shortcomings can easily be fixed. I would change the descriptive tags to "RPG / Adventure", or merely "Adventure". Grammatical errors, such as "you're / your" and sentence fragments, can be cleaned up with a dedicated hour or less in (Microsoft) Word. I would also limit the use of the underline and bold features to make reading easier.

Finally, I encourage the author to continue writing. It's the only fix for the game's brevity, and I believe this is a story worth telling.